Gunpowder and Whimsy

I put the "Art" in "Artillery" | He/They | Certified Gunslinger and Enchanter | Hobbies include speaking ill of The Council and practicing Alchemy | Grandmaster of Enchantment | Initiate of Alchemical Practices | Hailing from @badtumbleraccount

[bullet-enchanter]

im enchanting swords and shit cuz im in fucking Minecraft

[jazzw4ve]

*thunder crackling*

THOU ART LISTENING TO

*fireball explosion*

102.3

*bubbling cauldron*

REAL WIZARDS FM

*shimmering mana crystal*

WHERE WE PLAYETH NOTHING BUT CHANTS, CHANTS, AND MORE CHANTS

*wololo*

THIS ART NOT THINE ELDER MATRIARCH'S STATION

*Imagine Dragons - Radioactive starts playing*

[sandmandaddy69]

[official-lucifers-child]

[therealsanssherif]

[bullet-enchanter]

literally me

[redavexat]

[honeydewcorporation]

Tried to figure out how I've been running these things and I came up with this

[gun-sorcerer]

I mean, I have a gun that I channel magic through, am I still a sorcerer?

[bullet-enchanter]

Well, are you in control of it or is the gun doing what it wants to do?

[gun-sorcerer]

Most of the time I’m in control, but it can get iffy if I put certain enchanted bullets in.

[bullet-enchanter]

Well I consider myself an enchanter/alchemist but you sound like a warlock. It's outside of you and you control it. These labels are not final though. In the end: We are all wizards.

[redavexat]

[honeydewcorporation]

Tried to figure out how I've been running these things and I came up with this

[gun-sorcerer]

I mean, I have a gun that I channel magic through, am I still a sorcerer?

[bullet-enchanter]

Well, are you in control of it or is the gun doing what it wants to do?

[bullet-enchanter]

To Whom It May Concern,

As part of my duties as Overseer of Wizard Island Island and its multi dimensional territories, I am responsible for taking Housing Census of all Willing and Sentient Folk who abide here.

All I ask is any Written/Illustrated/Psychically Transmitted Description of your current residence, as well as cultural or geographically notable Landmarks nearby. If you wish to include direction (ie. North, West, Southeast) I will attempt to include you on the Wizard Island Island Map as well.

PLEASE NOTE: Information you share MAY be included in records or documents considered public access. DO NOT INCLUDE SENSITIVE INFORMATION or ANY information if you have had issues with the GOBLIN MAFIA at any point in history.

I hope this Letter finds you well,

-@cavolfire-the-roasted Overseer of the Brassica Sect of Magic and Territories of Wizard Island Island

Dear Overseer,

I have been living inside the Illegal Wizard Council quarters without their knowledge for a while now. Otherwise I am completely nomadic. If I have to specify a place of residency, I have a storage shed just to the north of the docks.

It is a humble shed, wooden and somewhat rotten. I think it is being held together by the excess arcana I leave behind after my rituals. I sometimes sleep in it but for some reason it is maddeningly loud inside. It sounds like a forest. Physically it is quite unremarkable. Just one thing, however, makes it difficult for me to keep it unremarkable. The wooden boards grow stems with flowers and leaves. I don't know why it happens and I've asked many faefolk about it. They haven't been able to give me a conclusive answer. It gets a lot in the spring. Imagine a house with an overgrown tree inside of it but this time the house itself is the tree. I am afraid it might grow into one if I stop caring for it.

I have carved a sigil of power on the door to the shed. I know there are better sigils to use, especially when it comes to protecting magically charged artifacts inside of a shed but the sigil is more or less representative of me. I have to recarve it every fortnight. The walls seem to heal themselves quite quickly.

Just so we are clear, I don't care who the council sends. I am not paying property taxes! I would appreciate it if my residency appeared on the map as well. It would make my travels a tad easier.

Best regards,

Sulphur the Bullet Enchanter

[bullet-enchanter]

I got shot AGAIN and SOMEONE has stolen my fucking orbs!!

Anyway, due to unpopular demand, I will be making a new guide soon. I am open to suggestions.

[weezebyrger-the-wizard]

:0 your fucking orbs? What about your non-fucking orbs? Do you have them still?

[bullet-enchanter]

Luckily those rat bastards kept their grubby hands away from my non-fucking orbs.

[bullet-enchanter]

I got shot AGAIN and SOMEONE has stolen my fucking orbs!!

Anyway, due to unpopular demand, I will be making a new guide soon. I am open to suggestions.

[bullet-enchanter]

Call me a gun the way I am loaded.

[the-gnomish-bastard]

Are you lethal?

[bullet-enchanter]

I cannot confirm nor deny.

[tastytoecheese]

First thing you see after you zoom in is how you die

How you dying 👀

[detective-slenderman]

‘interspecies romance’ … I am okay with that

[benreyfaggot]

oranges

killed by what I love, a Shakespeare play tragedy

[absurdly-tall-slendy]

”idiots in love”

… I blame @poet-slenderman?

[chaoticgremlin-1]

Brutal murder...

Welp ok then

[fungal-boy-witch-yay]

”fantasizing”

darn the neurodivergence

[rainbowgod666]

"Consensual Violence" ah, so an honourable death in battle at the hands of someone worthy enough to not explode mega hard in my presence.

You know what? If it means someone does the Widow Scene In Western Movies then SO BE IT

I WILL SOAR THE SKIES WITH RICK MAY, TORIYAMA AND TECHNOBLADE. AND ALL OTHER COOL DEAD PEOPLE

[bullet-enchanter]

end of the world

[kaninchen-reblogs]

While you’re out arguing whether necromancers or illusionists are more evil, the evocation caster just set 15 people and various nearby inanimate objects on fire, which is a clear breach of Protocol III of The United Nations Convention on Certain Conventional Weapons, thus constituting a war crime. In this essay I will —

[cerothenull]

[bullet-enchanter]

They're onto us...

[bullet-enchanter]

Apprentices initiate duels with me with their new spells and their "modern ways" not knowing my secret weapon.

Lead is timeless.

[gavamont]

Haiku spells should have

Elements of nature talk

Invert the penis

[bullet-enchanter]

Hey, look! New MTF bottom surgery dropped!

[bullet-enchanter]

Why do we, as wizards, don't talk about guns? We should all, collectively, talk about guns more.

[literallyneurodivergentandaminor]

types of wizard:

sex wizard

software wizard / setup wizard

comp wizard

evil wizard

[literallyneurodivergentandaminor]

who do you

sex wizard

setup wizard

comp wizard

evil wizard

Voting ended onMar 12, 2024

?

[literallyneurodivergentandaminor]

guys reblog this the poll isnt in tags i need. many peiple to vote

[haxihoovis]

the tumblr system! featuring: @pukicho, @firefox-official, @i-am-a-fish w/ @woman-becomer, @orteil42, and @spicymochi!

let me know if I should add any more!

[bullet-enchanter]

The lack of any wizards is oddly terrifying.

Almost as if something is about to happen...