New Life - Ch. 3
Summary: Elena is paralyzed from the waist down, having difficulties adjusting to her new life even after a year following her accident. Luckily Damon is there to support her and pick up the pieces.
Warning: contains graphic descriptions of bodily functions/fluids and (probably) inaccurate medical procedures!
Rating: M
Pairing: Damon/Elena
Read on: FF.net or AO3
.
Chapter 3
The doctor was clearly mistaken because the two catheters are still as uncomfortable as they were when they were first inserted. Damon assisted her in getting settled on the bed, but she is now forced to lie on her side because of the rectal catheter and cannot lie on her back comfortably either.
Damon offered to lie on the bed with her, but Elena is too embarrassed to let him get that close. Because of her situation, she doesn't know when she'll be able to look him in the eyes without flushing. So Damon left her alone, but she knows he went into the living room or kitchen. He is probably organizing her medications and other medical supplies, and after that he would prepare the diet meal suggested by the doctor for tomorrow. This means no fatty or oily foods, which she normally enjoys eating; instead, she can eat vegetables, rice, and regular chicken breast to help with her incontinence.
Elena closes her eyes and tries to relax as much as her circumstances allow. The tubes are extremely uncomfortable, as is the position she is in, but she knows she can't change it, and she can also feel the fatigue of being alert, examined, and humiliated all day. Fortunately, she hasn't used either the indwelling catheter or the bowel catheter so far (she doesn't have control over them anyway) and hopes that she won't use them while she sleeps either.
Slowly, fatigue sets in, and she falls into a deep sleep, trying to put the events of the day behind her.
-/-
Damon wakes her up a few hours later, but it appears that her wish has not been granted, and her bladder has let go while she slept. She looks at the digital clock on the bedside table and notices that it's 8 p.m.
When he removes the covers from her, Elena closes her eyes resignedly, realizing that her collection bag is nearly full. Damon looks apologetically at her as he puts on medical gloves and reaches for the tube to remove the catheter from her urethra. "I'll be quick, sweetheart," he assures her, and Elena simply nods.
Damon begins to pull the tube out of her urethra, and Elena grunts. She breathes a sigh of relief as soon as the catheter is removed, and Damon wipes her vagina as well. Unfortunately, her relief is short-lived. Damon prepares a new catheter and rubs some lubricant on the tube, then inserts the new catheter with a decisive motion. Elena groans and closes her eyes in discomfort.
"Hey, it's over," he says, and Elena takes notice of his kind smile. She turns away, unable to overcome the humiliating feeling.
Damon, oblivious to her state of mind, sits next to her on the bed and strokes her hair. She immediately feels better after inhaling her favorite scent on him, musk with a hint of honey. Then she notices Damon has changed into his pajamas and opens her eyes. "Wha-" she wants to ask, but Damon answers her as if he can read her mind.
"I give you a pass on dinner this time, and I'm actually sleepy," he says naturally, and Elena blinks. She didn't believe Damon would still want to sleep next to her.
Elena isn't sure if she'd want to sleep next to him. So many things could go wrong. Things that would most likely scare him off.
"Damon-"
"No. Don't even bother finishing that sentence. I told you it doesn't bother me. None of it. If anything comes up, I'll be here to help," he gently scolds her and kisses her cheek.
Elena looks at him mortified.
"No, you-"
"Yeah, I can. I thought we're past you trying to shield me from it and I want to do this for you."
She doesn't know what to say and instead nods, trying to hold back tears.
Damon is on the bed next to her, but they don't touch. Then, hesitantly, he moves closer to her, resting his forehead on hers, but taking care not to touch the rest of their bodies. She knows deep down that he is lying in this manner to avoid causing her further discomfort, but doubt creeps into her mind. She closes her eyes and listens to Damon's reassuring words that everything will be fine and that things will soon return to normal. But she is aware that this is a condition that could reappear at any time. Still, she tries to be more optimistic for Damon's sake.
They both fall asleep gradually, her last memory is of Damon placing a gentle kiss on her lips.
-/-
She awakens a few hours later to an unpleasant feeling, but as soon as she opens her eyes, she realizes it is morning. She feels the need to fart, but for some reason, it causes her great discomfort. She then remembers she has a catheter in her rectum, which is causing gas in her bowels that she is having difficulty getting rid of. Her predicament doesn't help problems with her hemorrhoids, and with a grunt, some of the gas from her anus escapes through her catheter. Unfortunately, this was not the main source of her discomfort, and in the meantime, Damon is waking up.
"Elena?" he asks, a little sleepily, but she knows he can tell she's in pain as he sits up in bed. He looks at the clock before turning his gaze back to her "Do you want me to leave or stay in case of...?"
Elena senses the uncertainty in his voice and knows why. He wishes to assist her, but he prefers to leave the decision to her. Elena loves him even more because of it.
Another tight feeling in her stomach washes over her, and all she could do is nod to him to stay while farting again, this time audibly. She blushes, but Damon doesn't seem to care about that, only concern swimming in his blue orbs.
Her anus is aching from the hemorrhoids as the gases try to burst out of her and she reflexively grabs for her backside to soothe the situation but Damon leans over her quickly. "Elena, don't," he adds in a warning tone and takes her hand away.
He pulls the blankets off her and then goes behind her back to examine her bowel catheter. She knows there are no stools in there yet, which would have woken her up. Damon comes back into view, then lays a soothing hand on her shoulder. "I think you're about to have a bowel movement. Do you think I need to help the process, or it will come out?"
"I...I don't...I don't know," she replies between grunts as the tightness in her stomach doesn't relieve. She doesn't know what form the stool will come out in.
Another fart leaves her anus and she groans again.
"You're quite bloated, sweetheart. I reckon you'll have a loose stool this time. Probably the result of the enema yesterday." he informs her and Elena has a similar thought. She's just hoping it doesn't turn into a mild case of diarrhea.
"I need to turn you onto your stomach, which may help, especially if we can spread your legs a little."
Elena nods, despite the fact that she knows moving will be torturous. Damon grips her left leg at the bend of her knee with one hand and her shoulder with the other, rolling her onto her stomach slowly. The indwelling catheter is adjusted by Damon so that it is between her legs rather than her resting on it. He places her legs in a frog-like position, pushing them up to her sides slightly. "Ah...Uh," Elena grunts as the rectal catheter moves in her with the repositioning.
"All right, this might help," Damon says, but she isn't feeling that relieved just now.
They wait at least another 10 minutes, but apart from a few farts, no stools have come out so far. Damon massages her lower back a few times, but it doesn't have much effect.
He lets out a sigh. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to do it," he says apologizingly to her, who inquires as to what.
"The doctor said that if this were the case, the rectal catheter would need to be pushed up a little to allow the stool to flow more easily and to trigger evacuation."
Elena wants to protest but understands she has no choice.
"All right, here we go," he says, and Elena feels Damon's touch on the catheter. Her back tenses as he starts to push the tube up. "Ahh," she grunts, as her legs begin to spasm slightly.
She is aware that the spasms are more common during her bowel programs, largely because of suppositories and digital stimulation in her rectum and anus, upsetting her nervous system.
Damon finally stops pushing the tube up, and Elena feels the change. The stool passes through her bowels, and a bit lands in the collection bag, followed by diarrhea leaving her rectum. Her bowels empty in a farting fit, so uncomfortable that she grips the pillow under hir head with her hands, her legs still spasming and her back straining. After a few minutes, it seems she is empty, and Damon checks her to be sure. Slowly, he begins to pull out the tube, and Elena grunts as it irritates her hemorrhoids.
The next second the catheter leaves her anus and she lets out a sigh of relief. She knows, and feels, that her anus is now wide open and spasming as well, and she hopes that mucus won't flow out through it. Damon immediately but gently wipes her down, using at least 6 wipes, and takes her soiled catheter out of the room. She knows how exposed she is right now and tries to move to cover up herself, but Damon comes back and kneels down, placing a kiss on her hair. "It's almost over" he whispers as she shuts her eyes for a second.
Then she notices he's holding a new catheter, which he will insert into her rectum in a moment.
"Wait a minute, please," she begs, enjoying the fact that her hemorrhoids are not being forced against anything.
At that time, her bladder releases and warm pee oozes from her urethra and into her collection bag.
Damon swiftly changes the catheter again, re-powders her genitals, and pushes the tube up her bladder.
She wants to take advantage of the time until she has to wear a new rectal catheter and find comfort in Damon's closeness. She hasn't admitted it to herself yet, but inside she's so grateful he's by her side and won't leave no matter how difficult their situation as a couple is.
She would do anything to be "normal" again and offer Damon anything he wants if there were no boundaries to their lives and their relationship and if they could make love whenever they want.
But sadly, life has dealt her a bad hand and she needs to get used to the circumstance where there will be ongoing impediments in her life. She just hopes that Damon's love is strong enough to hold on to her.
It's been a long since she could feel his skin against her, how her breasts were bound by his palm, how he filled her so perfectly. It had been a while since they had complemented each other and she misses it so much.
Damon plants a final kiss on her forehead before standing beside her and telling her he will prepare the meals for the day. Elena doesn't know what to make of this but is grateful that she still has some time remaining without the catheter.
But about ten minutes later, Damon returns, still carrying the rectal catheter and appearing contrite. She takes a long breath and exhales resignedly.
"Okay baby, let's get this over with," he says and goes around her back.
With one hand he parts her buttocks and with the other, he smears lubricant on her puckered anus, the chill of the jelly sending shivers through her. The next moment, she feels the end of the tube and Damon slowly pushes the catheter. She grunts as the tube goes higher and higher inside her, her back tensing as the catheter is fully inserted. Damon places a collection bag over the end of the catheter and covers her with the blanket.
Damon appears in front of her and bends down.
"I'll check back in a couple of hours to see if your bladder has let go, till then hang in there, sweetheart, and get some more sleep. I'll bring your lunch soon."
Elena merely nods, trying to get used to the ache, but just can't. Slowly, she feels drowsiness take hold again and she drifts off to a dreamless snooze.
-/-
A few hours later she is having her lunch, which is not her favorite, and although she knows Damon has tried, but even a Michelin-star chef couldn't make more out of simple chicken breast and rice without seasonings and whatnot.
Just as she is swallowing the last meal, her bladder lets go and the collection bag is filled with urine.
She also signals to Damon what has happened and he pulls the blanket off her. He slips on a rubber glove and gently pulls the tube out. Elena tries not to make a sound at the discomfort but fails. He disposes of the used catheter and wipes her genitals with antiseptic wipes.
Elena continues to prepare mentally for another catheter to be put in, but Damon pulls the blanket back over her.
"I don't think it's necessary to reinsert the bladder catheter for a while, you'll be fine for a few hours," he winks at her and Elena furrows her brow, but internally she's delighted to have at least one less inconvenience to endure.
She looks up at him and notices he has a large smile on his face and before Elena can ask a question, he's on the bed next to her and kissing her.
"Mmhm," she lets out in surprise, but swiftly, almost instinctively kisses him back.
They both lie on their sides, Damon deepening the kiss and she's relaxing into the bliss.
"I want you," he murmurs between kisses, then pulls away slightly and looks deeply into her eyes.
Her mouth opens, then closes, then opens again. Is he actually saying what she thinks...?
"Damon..." she gasps, then closes her eyes. "I want you too, more than you know, but-"
"Shh," he hushes, fingers over her mouth, love swirling in his eyes. "I know. you think it's not possible and even Dr. Smith's said that. But I love a challenge."
There's a playful glint in his eyes, too, and then his hand slides lower from her chest. Elena closes her eyes as his fingers are now on her lower belly and slowly reaching her center. She hisses slightly as his fingers start playing with her, her skin a little sensitive from the catheter.
Damon senses this and carefully starts to stroke her.
She wants to inform him about her concerns, but he starts moving her fingers faster and quicker and Elena hisses again, this time because of the pleasant feeling.
She wants him to make love to her more than anything, but she doesn't know how to tell him that it might not be possible in this situation.
"Damon...I can't," she confesses in a low voice, but he silences her with another kiss.
"Let's try something else. I know it sounds impossible, but be on top for now. I know it won't be practical on your back right now. I'll help," his confidence hasn't yet stuck to Elena but she wants to believe they can do it.
Damon takes his hand off her vagina and lies on his back. In a flash, he strips off his jeans and shirt and is separated from being completely naked next to her by only a pair of black boxers. Elena'ss eyes settle on his perfect chest and abs and she caresses down his stomach with her hand. His eyes close for a moment and a smile appears on his lips.
Elena is feeling proud of herself for creating that smile on his face, and then he swiftly gets rid of his boxers as well.
She swallows and is eager to have him delve into her warm center.
It's as if he is reading her mind. he pushes himself closer to her, lying on his back, then reaches under her arms and looks up at her. Elena understands what he wants, to help her, so she can lie across Damon.
She takes a deep breath, knowing that this change of posture will be difficult because of her catheter, but nods and carefully begins to move position.
She groans as the catheter begins to move in her rectum and her strained back shifts position.
After a few torturous seconds, though, she is lying on Damon and attempting not to put all her weight on him, trying to use her arms to lean back on his chest. Her rear, meanwhile, is between Damon's thighs, her back still strained.
Damon looks up at her, warmth in his eyes, then runs his hand through her hair. He slides down a little and reaches between them. Elena feels her the tip of his penis on her vagina as he aligns himself with her.
Elena uses her upper arms to push herself forward and with that motion, they come together. They both let out a sigh, but she realizes that this is not fully comfortable for her. With each thrust, the catheter tightens in her buttocks, it would be better if her legs were spread wider.
As if Damon is reading her mind, he puts his legs under her knees and slowly starts to spread her legs. Elena groans as the catheter moves inside her, but feels a little more comfortable. He positions his legs so they don't entangle with hers and touch the catheter. Damon presses a kiss to her lips and then he starts thrusting again, this time feeling better for her too. The motions aren't the most graceful, and each thrust is accompanied by an uncomfortable sensation alongside the good feeling, but Elena knows that comes at a price.
She's not complaining, because it's getting better for her, even though she's slower to reach a state of ecstasy. The thrusts are becoming less erratic, Damon is encouraging her with his movements and kisses and Elena knows it feels good for him too as his moans deepen. They are getting closer and closer to climax and with the next thrust Damon reaches ecstasy and she follows after a few seconds before immediately a small amount of gas leaves her rectum and with ecstasy, a small bowel movement begins.
Elena comes amidst a farting fit, then fecal matter escapes her rectum and falls into the catheter's collection bag. Above Damon, she starts to tremble slightly as even more gas leaves her anus, but Damon merely reassures her and whispers nice nothings in her ear.
She grunts as the bowel movements subside, but Elena doesn't regret making love, even if it is now quite uncomfortable for what is happening to her.
He stays with her till her bowel movements come to a finish, her legs spasming slightly and her head buried in Damon's shoulder.
When it's over, he drops one last kiss on her forehead, then slips carefully out from under himr and puts on his robe.
Drowsiness takes over again, the lovemaking and the bowel movements have absorbed all her power. She knows Damon will come back soon with a catheter, but she can't keep her eyes open, and her hemorrhoids won't allow her to fall entirely asleep.
It's only been two days, but she's already fatigued to the point of exhaustion. She can only hope that she can actually manage this issue better.