I love you I'm sorry
Pairing - Elijah Mikaelson x reader!
Summary - all the times when Elijah had come close to expressing his love, but he simply was not able to.
Warnings - being drunk, alcohol
Elijah Mikaelson wasn't known to be a very trustworthy man. The only people whom he could trust, or rather be sure of were his family. Though of course he had been daggered by his own brother quite a few times, he still trusted them.
You were one such person. Despite not being blood related, the bond he shared with you was as strong as he did with his siblings. You were his best friend, his ally even before he had transitioned into a creature of the night. And being close to the Mikaelsons since the very beginning, you too had shared the same fate.
Someone would think that being alive for more than centuries would wisen a man. And certainly, Elijah had a fearsome intellect, but his intelligence always seemed to lack in matters involving romance.
As could be observed from his numerous failed relationships. Not that it was always his fault, but he just felt something was missing every time. He couldn't place a finger on it, but it felt odd, uncomfortable, as though the woman despite being very lovely just wasn't meant for him.
And so he had given up pursuing anyone, unaware of the fact that his heart had already resigned itself to someone. A girl he has known since adolescence, a person who watched him grow and grew beside him every step of the way. He had only ever seen her, regarded her as his closest friend, nothing more.
====================================
He was currently lounging in the Mystic Grill, nursing a glass of bourbon. It was late evening, not much happening around which was a strange but welcomed relief.
His dark brown eyes were alert, as they always were as he surveyed the crowd. They darted towards the entrance on hearing familiar voices laughing. There you were, dressed as impeccably as him in a pristine white shirt paired with black trousers. You had your sleeves rolled up much like him, not a crease visible on the fabric either.
Even though he had seen you in similar outfits more than a thousand times already, a small smile still made its way on his lips. He loved the fact that you shared his dressing style, though you preferred to not wear a blazer and rather opted for shirts only.
He could see Caroline and Bonnie beside you, the girls laughing as you whispered something, having to lean down a little due to your tall frame.
You were probably having a girl's night, wanting a break from all the drama which seemed never ending. Elena unfortunately had bailed rather reluctantly, having to go on a date with Stefan and you all had reassured her that it was okay.
Elijah would've loved nothing more than to call you just so he could have your attention, but he didn't do that. You already spent most of your time together, you were allowed to hang out with people other than the dear Mikaelsons.
So he settled to simply watch you, obviously not in the disturbing manner but out of genuine interest. He saw you on one of the tables, the three of you so caught up in your conversation that you couldn't care less about the world.
Bonnie pulled out her phone to show something and Caroline squealed, placing her hand over her mouth while he watched you smirk and chug down a shot. Elijah was so enraptured by your mere presence across the room that he didn't notice the time pass. He was snapped out of his trance when he noticed the blonde vampire tapping your shoulder and pointing towards his position and he quickly averted his gaze.
He downed his glass and his head turned involuntarily on seeing you walk from his peripheral vision. The grin that was on your face had been mirrored on his too, though it was much smaller and more collected.
"Hey 'lijah," you smiled, slipping into the seat beside him and accepting the glass he slid over, turning his body to face you.
His heart warmed at the nickname, it was only you who called him that.
"Hello, good day so far I'm assuming?" He asked, leaning against the counter.
"A great day indeed," you agreed. "Quite unusual but who is complaining".
He chuckled softly, voice low and deep enough to make a woman squirm in her seat. "Another one?" He gestured towards the empty glass, already signalling for one but you shook your head.
"I'm on the verge of being completely and absolutely knackered, Elijah. I'm afraid I have to turn down your offer," you sighed, folding your hands on top of each other on the table and resting your head on them, eyes closing immediately.
A few strands of your hair had fallen out from the intricate braid made by Rebekah no doubt. They fell over your forehead, resting on your cheek and fluttering slightly in the wind. An intense urge to place them behind your ear rose in him, to adjust your messed up hair gently. He didn't understand this sudden need to touch you, but he held himself.
"You can't sleep here, you know?" He smiled, a playful glint in his eyes as you groaned at the prospect of getting up.
"On the contrary, I'm quite comfortable thank you," you mumbled, peeking an eye open and were rewarded with his gorgeous smile. Oh how handsome he looked in the dim lighting of the bar, his beautifully sculpted face only being highlighted more intensely.
His lips only widened at your answer and he was about to retort when there was a loud bang, immediately followed by a multitude of screams as people scurried away.
And without a pause, without a moment of hesitation, Elijah had wrapped his arms around you and sped over to the nearest corner. He didn't care as to who saw him, the only thought in his mind was to get you to safety.
He backed you against the wall, hands still on your waist as he carefully looked around the wall. Trying to narrow the source of the ruckus. Another loud crack exploded in the bar earning more rounds of screams and shouts.
As though it were second nature, he pressed his body forward, shielding yours effectively while your eyes looked wild with concern.
That's when a voice called out through the noise, "Terribly sorry everyone! Some fireworks here went askew!" He finished earning loads of curses and groans. "Sorry!!"
A relieved sigh was heard from you and Elijah visibly relaxed despite his expression being of someone who wanted to slaughter a man alive. His eyes finally met yours and he felt his heart beating abnormally once he registered the mere inches of space between you two. You were all but a few centimetres shorter than him but he always had this aura of towering over you.
"We're okay, 'lijah," you murmured, your voice low as you brought him in an embrace. Wrapping your arms around his neck gently. His body tensed before relaxing, his hands snaking past your waist to engulf you in his hold.
You made a move to pull away but the man did not move a muscle, his head resting atop yours as he held you close. So you stayed for a little while longer, giving him the satisfaction that you were indeed safe.
He took a step back, breaking the hug but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to detach his hands from you. Wanting to feel your skin underneath his fingers, to sense your warm body against his.
You smiled at his slightly messed up hair and styled it back properly. His eyes involuntarily closed at your soft touches, leaning into your hand and feeling his heart slowly coming back to normal.
"Let's go home, shall we?" You spoke, looking a little worried at his silence and the way he hurriedly stepped back, his face heating up slightly.
He only nodded as you navigated through the crowd, your hand finding Elijah's on its own accord. As you were facing forward, you failed to see the small grin on his face as he looked at your hands, his chest feeling obnoxiously tight for some unknown reason as he let himself be dragged away.
Caroline and Bonnie, unbeknownst to the duo had seen his expression. And naturally they caught on immediately, their faces showing a mixture of surprise, shock, and delight.
Surprise, at the sight of the stoic, dangerous Elijah Mikaelson as he was pulled by a woman. Not any random woman too of course. He showed absolutely no resistance and the girls knew that the man would follow you to the ends of Earth if you asked him to.
Shock, because no way in hell did they expect to see the amount of gentleness his face bore. All for you. His usual serious exterior had melted away to reveal a feeling of utter adoration.
And delight as they knew he was the perfect man, nobody else could even come close. Not only was he your closest friend, he already seemed like your other half. One couldn't think of Elijah without at least mentioning you too.
They saw it from their own eyes as one of the eldest Mikaelson was whisked off, and all they could see on his face was downright love.
====================================
"Oh come on!" Rebekah urged you as you shook your head. "It'll be fun and you know it".
"I know nothing".
"What are you two arguing about?" Klaus walked in with Elijah beside him who raised an eyebrow at the two best friends who rarely argued.
"I'm convincing her to go to the dance," Rebekah frowned shooting you glares while you were completely unbothered.
"And I'm telling you that me and dances do not go well. So far they've been nothing more than a fiasco," you grumbled, shaking off the memories.
"You cannot let your past be a judge of your future!"
"I can and I will".
She groaned and stood up, walking over to her brothers who merely watched with amusement. "Niklaus, make her see sense".
"I must admit dances are indeed fun, love," he said with a smile, settling down on the sofa.
"No they're not," you rolled your eyes and went back to your book.
"Then what am I supposed to do alone? I don't even have a date!" She exclaimed and snatched the book out of your hand making you narrow your eyes.
"Then get one for heaven's sake, Bekah," you sighed and placed your palm on your face. "And even if I agreed to go, what makes you think I can get myself a date in such short notice?"
"You'd be rather surprised," her lips morphed into a smirk which could be observed on Klaus' face too.
"Now what does that mean?" You asked suspiciously and they put their hands up in surrender.
"You've been quite silent on this matter, big brother," said Klaus and eyed Elijah who was clearly pretending to read the novel.
"And what do you expect me to say, Niklaus?" He replied without looking up.
"Tell your best friend to accompany me to the dance. We have dresses and I'll find a date for her too," Rebekah piped in eagerly. She knew that only he could persuade you.
"I think it is her choice".
"And that is exactly why I love you the most," you beamed at his answer, not noticing the way red dusted his cheeks as he bit back a smile.
"Oh shut up," the clearly frustrated vampire grumbled. "It's one dance!"
"Don't be such a downer, love. If it makes you feel better, me and Elijah will come too," Klaus said, his smile a little too wicked and Elijah's head snapped up at his statement, his face murderous.
The hybrid merely smiled sweetly, not at all scared and instead looked expectantly at you. You held his stare, crossing your arms for a full five seconds before caving in with an annoyed scoff.
"Fine!" You huffed, watching as the two siblings rejoiced at your reply. "How bad can it be".
"Exactly," Rebekah grinned and took your hand, probably dragging you off to her room to show you the many dresses she owned.
Once the ladies were out of their sight, Elijah turned towards his brother with a frown, "Did you have to include me in your shenanigans?"
"Well of course I did," Klaus said as if it were obvious. "How else was I supposed to convince her?"
"The least you could've done was at least ask me beforehand, Niklaus".
"What fun would that be. And also I was actually helping you in case you didn't notice".
"Help me how exactly?"
"So you can confess your not so little feelings for her, dear brother," he said with a full blown smile, dimples on full display.
Elijah stilled immediately, his body tensing as he clenched his jaw, "I don't harbour any feelings".
"Sure you don't," he teased in a sing-song voice, getting up and stretching his arms. "Deny it all you want, Elijah. But anybody with eyes can see the obvious love you have for her. And I must add, you're finally making a good choice! I approve," he winked at the baffled man.
"Klaus-" Elijah began but was cut off instantly.
"Now don't you try to deny it! I am willing to bet that every time you see her your heart starts besting faster. Whenever she laughs you feel your chest growing tighter and you want nothing more than to be the cause of it. Not to mention the fact that you literally worship the ground she walks on. Why do you think she always turns to you for everything, Elijah? Why she's always so open with you? She loves you and why can you not see that?"
Elijah was stunned to say the least. So shocked as he listened to Klaus' rant that for once in his long lifetime, his brother had managed to render him speechless. He exhaled deeply, god was he so obvious? But then how had you not noticed? Or maybe you had, he was just too blind to see it.
"Yeah now I can see the gears turning," Klaus muttered and left for his room.
It was evening and the time had arrived. You were all ready in your dress which looked absolutely stunning. It was a treasure from the 70s and you were glad to have worn it. Despite not wearing gowns often as you preferred shirts and trousers, you felt beautiful for once. Your appearance was a little more gentle, pretty and demure as compared to your usual hardened, regal state.
A gorgeous necklace was added as the finishing touch and you smiled on seeing yourself in the full size mirror, not being able to resist doing a small twirl. You looked like a literal princess.
There was a small knock on the door and in stepped Rebekah, looking equally and if not more beautiful. She let out a little gasp and hurried over, her eyes shining bright.
"Look at you," she smiled and made you do a tiny roundabout. "You look perfect".
"Do I?" You asked, a little uncertain as it had been a long time since you had dolled up so nicely.
"Without a doubt. Now come on then, the boys must be waiting," she grabbed your hand and you made the way down the elegant staircase, holding the dress up a little to walk properly.
She had somehow convinced Elijah to be your date and honestly you didn't mind at all. Much better to go with someone you know so well rather than with a stranger. Little did you know though, her brother hadn't required convincing at all.
Elijah was waiting at the bottom, dressed as impeccably as ever in a black suit. As soon as you came into view, he felt his heart stop. Quite literally. The world stopped spinning, everything around him had stilled and the only person he had eyes for, was you. In that breathtaking dress and walking right towards him.
He saw you in slow motion, taking in every inch of you and engraving it in his memory. He couldn't ever forget this sight, not even if he tried.
Your eyes met his and you gave him a small, rather shy smile. It was something so unlike you. But the man was still rooted to the spot, unable to formulate words as he took in your figure.
"Breathe brother," a sharp nudge from Klaus brought him back to Earth, though he was still slightly dazed. His mouth fell open a little when you stood in front of him, your stance a little nervous as you waited for him to say something.
"You look exquisitely beautiful," he breathed out, feeling a strange breathlessness. His tie felt increasingly tight around his neck while his hands were starting to sweat.
"Thank you," you replied, looking down as you flushed. "You've cleaned up nicely too".
He gave you a small smile before offering you his arm and you obliged, placing your palm gently in the crook while the other wrapped around his bicep.
During the small walk to the car you felt his eyes on you, scanning your face as though he was memorising every trivial detail. Having enough of his stare, you turned sideways, looking him right in the eye and instead of looking away like you expected him to, Elijah merely tilted his head adoringly.
You felt a sudden warmth settle in your chest as you got in the car, keen on avoiding his gaze for most of the night at least.
The journey was quite short and before you knew it, Rebekah had brought you to the bar and you had downed three shots already. Needing a bit of energy before moving to the dancefloor.
Elijah and Klaus were nowhere to be seen, probably off talking to familiar people and drinking their body weight.
Just as you got up, your three girl friends rushed towards you, greeting you with smiles and laughs. They fawned over your dress, complimenting you so much that your face had turned a permanent shade of pink.
"Let's go dance," Elena took your hand, taking you to one of the corners and you followed. Rebekah had already disappeared in the crowd somewhere.
The music was quite good, much similar to your taste and you swayed to the beat, enjoying yourself for once and letting go. It wasn't an easy life to be an Original and having such a close relation to the Mikaelsons. There was a constant threat of danger over your head. And it was moments like these that made you feel normal, happy and carefree.
You laughed with them, twirling Bonnie around and just being yourself. Soon enough your feet had begun aching and you excused yourself to go and sit. You spotted Elijah sitting near the bar and made a beeline for him.
His face visibly brightened on seeing you, a smile growing on his previously monotonous expression. "You look happy".
You nodded, chuckling and sat down with a sigh, "I'm enjoying this more than I thought I would".
He only smiled, offering you his half filled glass which you accepted, downing it in a single shot. "Thank you. And pray tell why are you sitting here all alone like a sulking child?"
"I was not sulking-" he began but you cut him off with an 'Oh please' face.
"Go out there, 'lijah. Get yourself a nice girl, ask her to dance. Nobody would say no to you, you know that right?"
"I don't dance," he said half heartedly. Who was he kidding, all he wanted right now was to take your hand and dance his heart out. And for once in his life, Elijah decided to listen to his thoughts.
He stood up, standing in front of you and extending his hand, "May I have this dance, miss?"
You were positively surprised, a small laugh escaping your lips at his theatrics but you nodded nonetheless. You placed your hand in his, allowing him to lead you to the dancefloor.
You faced each other, his fingers brushing delicately against your waist while the other hand held yours with equal tenderness. His eyes bore into yours, a newfound emotion swirling in them as he admired you. He had seen you a thousand times before, yet he found a new thing to look at everyday.
There was this different intensity in this gaze. Though you had looked at him many times already, you felt shy under his gaze.
He swayed you along with the music, matching the rhythm perfectly when he twirled you. His heart skipped a beat every time you laughed, he felt accomplished in a weird way. As though all he should do was to be the cause of your happiness.
The music changed to a slow one, as did the tension between you two. Because he stepped closer, your chests almost brushed due to the proximity. You kept your eyes downwards, afraid that if you looked up, you would lose control.
But Elijah seemed to have other plans. For he removed his hand from yours and placed a finger below your chin, slowly lifting your face upwards to meet his. Your breath hitched and your lips parted, watching as his eyes landed on them before flitting back up. He was too close. The distance was so small that you couldn't breathe. His intoxicating scent had engulfed you completely.
Elijah's heart had been racing madly, so much that he was afraid it would jump out of his chest. You were so close that all he had to do was lean in slightly and his lips would cover yours. Yet he didn't act upon his thoughts now, instead choosing to quietly admire you.
His hand now went to holding your waist and you shifted yours to lock behind his neck, unconsciously moving closer again.
"You do look beautiful tonight," he whispered, his deep brown irises not leaving yours for a second and his grip tightened, afraid that you would disappear.
"Tonight?" You asked teasingly, trying to distract yourself from the steadily rising blush.
He only chuckled, the sound so low that it reverberated in your very soul. "I have seen you a million times, yet you look as gorgeous as ever".
"What is it with the compliments today, Mikaelson? Maybe I should wear dresses more often".
"You don't require a dress to get them. I'll happily compliment you a thousand times over if that is what you wish for".
"Elijah.." you spoke softly, your heart racing uncontrollably as you looked at the man standing inches away from you.
"Yes, darling?" He replied back and you were a goner.
Before you could say something, Klaus had appeared beside you, a restless look in his eyes as he explained the arising problem. And leaving your little moment behind, you both were quick to follow him.
====================================
Elijah had been out of Mystic Falls for over a week now. He had been tagging alongside Klaus, keeping his brother from starting new trouble.
Which meant that it had also been a long time since he had last seen you. And though you two had been away for much longer in the past centuries, it didn't mean that he had gotten used to it.
Which explained his current situation as he tried his best to make Klaus see sense. Making him understand that there was no threat to him right now and so they should go back home. As soon as it was possible.
But what kind of a younger sibling would he be if he didn't torment his elders.
So he insisted on keeping them both in New Orleans for yet another week, claiming that he had found new information which was actually true.
And after a long fifteen days, Elijah Mikaelson was more than ready to get back home. Or he was ready to get back to his home. It wasn't as if he hadn't called you during his stay. He had, numerous times. But it wasn't the same as being near you, getting to see you firsthand. Which just proved yet again that he had fallen deeply.
And his wonderful family made sure to remind him time and time again.
But it was easier said than done. How did they just expect him to throw so many years of friendship down the drain, risk putting it on the line only because he had gotten his heart involved. He hadn't even known until Niklaus had pointed it out.
No wonder he always longed for your presence at the beginning and end of each day. Wanting to be there for you through all your highs and lows. He craved to have your attention all to himself.
And as they were nearing Mystic Falls every mile, he could not stop thinking about you.
"Slow down, brother. You're a little over the speed limit," Klaus smirked from the passenger seat and he rolled his eyes.
"Be silent for once, Niklaus".
"Oh I was just thinking that you should've confessed to her already! It might have escaped your notice, Elijah, but there are hoards of men out there who fancy our best friend dearly".
Elijah's grip tightened on the steering wheel but he didn't say anything. He wasn't blind, obviously he had noticed the looks you got from men and women during the ages. You were beautiful, smart, cunning, and loyal. What wasn't there to like?
Nearing the house, he pulled over and got out without wasting another minute. His strides fast as he made his way to the porch.
"Never thought I'd see the day with you being so desperately in love. But well, it's no ordinary girl either. If you don't hurry up brother, I might just swoop in myself".
The glare that he received could have had a mere human on their knees, trembling and withering. But being used to his brother's rather rare anger, Klaus only smiled brightly.
Rebekah was the one to greet them as they entered the living room. Elijah couldn't help himself as his eyes darted around, searching for you.
"Well hello to you too," Kol said with a smirk and sat down. "I'm hurt by your lack of greetings".
"You'll survive".
"Someone's a little feisty today. Care to explain the reason behind your sullen face?"
"It's obvious isn't it, Kol?" Rebekah answered his question with a smile of her own. "He's looking for her of course".
"It's quite unfortunate really," he sighed in reply, leaning back and watching his brother carefully as he delivered the news. "Seeing as she's on a date".
Elijah's neck snapped so quickly it was almost like someone had turned it for him. His eyes narrowed immediately as he sped over to the youngest, glaring down at him.
"Don't be dramatic. She's only out with Damon, it's certainly not a date," Rebekah rolled her eyes, feeling a little bad for her big brother.
"I'm only saying what I saw," he shrugged, thoroughly enjoying the way Elijah's body tensed with every word of his. Before he could utter anything else, the eldest had vanished from their sights.
"This might be fun," Klaus spoke at last, a devilish grin on his face.
With his pulse beating harshly, Elijah stepped foot inside one of the bars, having tracked you down with ease. The first one he saw was Stefan, his arms around Elena as they danced without a care.
He brushed past the crowds, ignoring the curses thrown his way and that's when his eyes fell on you. There you were, decked in your typical clothes but having opted for black jeans and a matching leather jacket instead.
His chest felt light almost instantly, a deep breath leaving his lungs as he saw you. A smile was about to break free but it was soon replaced by his dangerously calm face. Damon Salvatore had just appeared beside you, his hand around your shoulder as he led you to the bar to get more drinks.
Despite the loud, blaring music he saw you chatting animatedly with the vampire. He watched as Damon leaned in closer to you, whispering something in your ear resulting in a smile.
Elijah gritted his jaw, his grip tightening on the glass that he was holding. It was only a few seconds away from shattering into fragments. All he could do was grab another shot and chug it, the feeling of the alcohol slightly burning his throat was great.
He settled himself in a dark corner, away from your eyesight. A small wound seemed to be inflicted on his heart as he saw you throw your head back and laugh heartily. He could hear the sound. How could he not when it was the only thing that he had longed to hear these past days.
It was the last straw for him. When he saw how readily you had out your arms around Damon's neck, hugging him so tightly. He felt himself getting dizzy, emotions overwhelming him all at once making him realise that he was actually drunk.
God he hadn't been drunk in a long, long time.
He laughed, a hollow, low chuckle as he downed yet another glass. Watching the one woman he had always cared about from the bottom of his heart dance with another man.
And the next second, he felt pathetic. Disgusted at himself for being so selfish, for even entertaining thoughts like these. You were your own person, you could hang around with whomever you wanted. He didn't dictate your life, he didn't own you. But then how could he explain this empty feeling inside of him, it was torturing him.
He didn't know how long he sat there, staring into oblivion as he drank and drank. There were certainly benefits of becoming a vampire, and unlimited drinking was one of them.
His mind was filled with all sorts of memories he had shared with you. Some were happy, some were filled with anguish, rage, sadness. But all he could think about was how you were always there for him. Not thinking about yourself for a minute as you protected his family with him. You weren't even blood related, yet he remembered all those times when you had saved Klaus from the wrath of his father. Helping Rebekah through her many heartbreaks, pulling Kol back to reality when he took it too far at times, and being there for Finn whenever he needed someone to confide in.
It was only when the lights were slowly turning off that he came back to his senses. Realising that the bar was probably shutting down for the night, he got up, almost stumbling down. The time on his watch indicated that it was 2 am and he swallowed his heartbreak, cautiously walking out and enjoying the fresh gust of air.
And just when he thought he had rid himself of everything, a soft, gentle voice called his name. His eyes closed on their own, as the word rang in his ear.
Elijah slowly turned, seeing you walking over with a surprised smile which fell slightly on seeing his frazzled state. His blazer was hung over his arm, the tie hanging loose around his neck while the sleeves of his shirt were rolled up. His dark hair was extremely tousled, signalling that he had been running his fingers through it a lot.
"Heyy," he grinned, his voice slurring which had your eyes widened. Elijah Mikaelson was drunk. Not just drunk, he was completely knackered.
"Woah there," you grabbed his shoulders, steadying him and helping him stand up straight. You took the coat from his hand. "What brings you here at this hour, 'lijah".
If possible his smile only stretched at the nickname. A dimple dotting his left cheek as he observed you silently. "I missed you".
His abrupt reply at you stunned for a moment, "Oh I- I missed you too".
Before you could add anything he exhaled heavily and threw his large frame onto yours, wrapping his arms around you and bringing you close.
You stayed for a while and let out a laugh, "Who knew you could be such a big baby?"
He didn't reply and only snuggled closer, his stubble ticking your neck and making goosebumps erupt on your arms.
"Elijah," you whispered, bringing a hand up to card your fingers through his hair, smoothing the wild locks and also providing comfort. "How long have you been here?"
"A long time," he replied, still not looking up and you sighed. Having to physically hold his face between your hands just so you could see him. "I saw you".
"Then why did you not say anything?"
"You were having a good time. I had no intentions of interrupting it".
You shook your head, a sad smile on your face, "You could never disrupt anything".
"You looked happy with Damon," he forced out a smile and now avoided eye contact fully. He pulled away and started walking, barely making three steps before the alcohol took over and he almost tripped, had it not been for you holding him.
"Let's go home, yeah?" You asked, trying to coax your obviously hurt friend into listening. You put an arm around his shoulder, giving him support while the other held his hand, leading him forward.
"Home," he repeated, his eyes twinkling. And you couldn't help but notice that his gaze never strayed away from you.
As soon as you reached the house, you vampire sped him to the living room, placing him on the sofa gently and getting a glass of water. The others were probably asleep, as there was minimal lighting.
"Feeling any better now?"
"Fine," came his short reply and you frowned, watching as he fiddled with his hands.
Not knowing how else to help him, you placed another water filled glass on the table before bidding him goodbye, telling him to call you if he needed anything at all.
"Stay," came his broken voice and you stopped in your tracks. That painful, one word piercing your heart like glass.
And how could you not?
"Always," you swallowed, taking in his vulnerable expression. The serious facade he usually maintained melting off to reveal a person who had endured hell.
You sat beside him, his eyes watching your every movement as you settled. And once you did, his arms were quick to wrap around your waist, holding your body tightly as if you were his anchor, his only link to reality.
A few peaceful moments passed but neither of you moved and Elijah naturally assumed that you had slept. He pulled back ever so slightly, enough to get a glimpse of your serene face. Not lined up by any troubles, it was still.
"How can I ever repay you for all that you've done for me? Nobody is even capable of saying the things that you have managed to show. I regret not having told you this, but you truly are the best thing that has ever happened to me. And what would I do to give you back a small ounce of what you had bestowed upon me all these years".
He couldn't help it as he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your forehead. Lingering for a few seconds, savouring the feeling while also trying to pour out all the emotions that had seized control of his heart.
Elijah woke up the next morning with an unfamiliar but comfortable weight on his chest. He was about to move but something stopped him. He blinked his eyes, getting rid of the sleep as his vision cleared. What he saw made his heart fall out of his chest with love but also stop at the same time due to fear.
There you were laying beside him. Your head resting on his chest right below his chin while his arms were securely enclosed around you, holding you in place. This felt so right for every reason that he couldn't bring himself to tear his eyes away. From the way your hair was a complete mess, to how your palm was placed above his heart
He tightened his grip involuntarily, getting the feeling that this was something he could get used to. But soon fear had made space in his mind, reminding him of all the reasons why he didn't deserve you.
And he believed every one of them.
So he allowed himself only a few minutes more before placing you back on the couch, his touch so gentle that you didn't so much as stir. He took a last look at you, leaning over to brush the stray hair away with a certain fondness.
"I'm sorry," he said, his face contorting his pain as he abruptly turned around, walking away once again.
====================================
