mr burnham.

I'm Rachel, and I'm a 20 year old college student who liked Bo Burnham enough to make a dumb blog about him

[burnhham]

why did it take me nearly 10 years to realize Kristen Stewart wore contacts in Twilight

[kingcheddarxvii]

If someone says “I love u” and you say “I love u 2” back, make sure you add “no Bono” so they know you mean that you love them too, not just the legendary Irish rock band U2

[burnhham]

side note would anyone be interested in buying my 3DS, I bought it then literally did not play it and it's sitting doing nothing give it a happy home

[burnhham]

I never knew love was real until my boyfriend gave me his login to his steam account with 40+ games

[tamarrud]

Learn to defend against a bigot grabbing your hijab from behind!

In this post-election hate-crime spike, self defense is more important than ever. Practice this move until it becomes muscle memory and teach your body to react before thinking.

(via Zee Abdulla)

[scriptscribbles]

“Reality is a difficult concept for liberals,” Trump supporters proclaim as they proceed to believe that fictional character Leslie Knope is a real person.

[thechubbynerd]

Even fake women are a threat to them this is hysterical

[burnhham]

this election was a fucking joke

[burnhham]

today while walking to my car I tripped on a cape I was wearing and then I spilt the bowl of meatballs I was carrying, exclaimed "my balls!" looked up and made direct eye contact with my ex boyfriend

[choppedandfoodnetwork]

[burnhham]

Please ask Bo if he has ever burned a ham.

Hahaha I might be 1000 years late replying but this made me chuckle

[burnhham]

does anyone know the name of the girl who plays the waitress in the music video for one bad night? (by hayley kiyoko) ???

[cheeso]

[burnhham]

one time I was really high and I wanted food so I went to target and I was really paranoid everyone could tell so I bought toothpaste b/c I thought it made me look responsible

[burnhham]

I FORGOT MY SIMS FAMILY NAME WAS WILLIAMS SO I JUST NAMED THEIR NEW BABY WILLIAM

WILLIAM WILLIAMS

[burnhham]

u think I would learn...I just named a baby adam adams....why am I like this

[burnhham]

Ur cat is so beauty,,who is she

thanks i love my cat

[burnhham]

tell me why both times I saw suicide squad the thing that got the most laughs was Harley Quinn getting punched out by batman

[foulserpent]

i call all my friends after 20 years of no contact and invite them to visit me at my house, which is a farm in the middle of nowhere. they approach the farm gates and i appear looking like this

[sneeking]

..go on…….

[foulserpent]

i lead you into the barn where i live and offer you snacks and refreshments. it’s a bowl of minnows and 3 caprisun pouches

[brightereyes]

accept the capri sun, cautiously refuse the minnows

[foulserpent]

i tell you that it’s fine, leaves more for me, but you can tell im a little hurt. we watch cutthroat kitchen in silence, i seem to be attempting to drink my caprisun through my gas mask, but im failing miserably. you say nothing.

[brightereyes]

i say nothing

[foulserpent]

at one point i go into a shed and bring out more caprisun pouches and a single triscuit for you

[brightereyes]

Thanks

[foulserpent]

youre welcome