Am I alone in this...
I feel like I don’t even know how to write in these anymore. It’s been to long of a time and so much has changed. Like Always, I mean isn’t that life that you continually change and hopefully grow. Things are good, I think or they seem that way. Can you ever really know? Is my heart truly happy or can you ever really be happy? Is there just a feeling inside all humans that pursues more and just tries to feel what they perceive as happiness? I feel like I stay so busy or distracted so I don’t have to think about if my feelings are real. I know I can’t be the only one, I’m not special but it does feel alone and makes me want to push away and be alone more. Is it from past trauma or unresolved issues, chemical imbalance or do we all feel this way. Life is beautiful but it’s cruel, there are no rules or guidelines, no answer of how you are supposed to feel or know it’s real. I feel like I do what I’m supposed to do but why is that. What dictates the natural human process? The more I learn, the more I realize I know nothing and can’t really trust anything.
