The (Chaotic) Slashers are Roommates😳 Headcanons
It was 2 in the morning and my brain decided it needed to write this fuckin bullheck. So here ya go🔪
Let's say these nasty slashers live in a big house together. Said slashers include:
Freddy Krueger, Bubba Sawyer, Drayton Sawyer, Nubbins Sawyer, Chop top Sawyer, Chucky, Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, Bo Sinclair, Lester Sinclair, Billy Loomis, Stu Macher, Brahms Heelshire, Buffalo Bill aka James Gumb, Charlie Hewitt aka Sheriff Hoyt, and Pennywise.
Let the chaos commence~
Enjoy! 🖤
First and foremost, their house will be absolutely wrecked within the first 2 weeks they move in together. Don't expect the house to be looked after. Drayton would try, but he just stops caring and gives up after a few days.
Chores are nonexistent in a large section of the house where the Sawyers don't live.
(Assuming they don't kill each other)
The house will burn down at least once in the entire timeline. Courtesy of either Chucky or Stu. Perhaps both. Probably both. Freddy did not enjoy it, neither did Bubba. (🥺 My poor babies dont cri)
Though everyone sort of gets along (as well as these people are capable of anyway smh), some friend groups do form.
The Sawyers obviously still stick together, but do like to hang out with the others too. Lester low-key got unofficially adopted by the Sawyers. (I'm honestly surprised he's not a Sawyer adopted by the Sinclairs)
Billy, Bo, Brahms, and Hoyt get along great. They're the 'mean girls' of the troop. They think they're the 'bad boys', or the 'kool kid klub', but everyone just kinda thinks they're pretentious and melodramatic.
Lester hangs out with them too sometimes.
Freddy, Chucky, Chop Top, Stu, and Pennywise get along well. Too well. Sweet baby Jesus they should never have been fated to meet. Now that they have, everyday is a horror, a shitstorm brewing in every corner of the house. Literally. Don't ask. You don't wanna know.
They are absolute terrorists. Hip hip hooray to never having another peaceful day in the house.
Oh yeah and Lester hangs out with them too sometimes.
James and Bubba are high-key best friends. They share a common interest in makeup and fashion! They would have sewing sessions together, sharing tips and tricks they've gathered through practicing their craft, and they like to do each other's makeup. James would finally be able to confide in someone who is willing to listen and accept. They are able to be themselves around each other. 😭 They're honestly the cutest platonic couple. #Bestie Goals
Oh did I mention that Lester hangs with them sometimes?
Michael and Jason are.... Friends?? Idk they just kinda sit/stand around together all the time, staring straight ahead, not saying a word. Yeah, let's say they're friends.
They're just these tired old men with a mutual understanding, who put up with all their roommates' shit without uttering one word of complaint, simultaneously making everything worse by doing so.
Lester doesn't hang around them, they scare him.
But Drayton joins them on the couch sometimes when he's not cooking or kicking his brothers' asses.
They're just tired. Freddy please give them a break.
Lester's favorite Sawyer is Nubbins 💕 Nubbins' favorite Sinclair is Lester 💞 Bubba and James are their No.1 Shippers.
#Lebbins #Nester 💖
James tries to be subtle, but everyone knows he has a crush on Bo. #Jo #Buffalo Bo
Hoyt and Pennywise have this strange bond, you would see them spending time alone in the home-theatre, some bad horror movie playing, the screams and dramatic sound effects of the horror movie submerged by their jovial banter and obnoxious bursts of laughter.
They're like best friends. Damn, who would've thought? Hoyt and Pennywise. #Hennywise?
Its a communal secret that Freddy and Stu had, at some point, gone to pound town and rustled in the carrot patch. Take what you want from that, but they brawled with their daggers.
Polished their canons.
Tostled their hammers.
Jostled their nunchucks.
(I can do this all day.)
Wiggled their chicken sickles.
So yeah, make what you will of that. If anyone asks, I didn't say nothin'.
A lot of the time, Drayton cooks for his family and people who he doesn't find too annoying.
Which means Chucky, Stu, Billy, and Pennywise are often left to their own devices. Sorry boys, Drayton doesn't care about you. 🤷♀️
When Drayton doesn't feel like cooking for an army, they just order delivery.
Jason doesn't eat, but Michael has offered him a piece of fresh-caught-cat as a midnight munchie a few times.
Speaking of Michael, that man has some impressive belly capacity. He would have 3 (large) meals a day, and still be able to stomach most of the leftovers, if any, in the fridge, in the middle of the night. Michael likes late night/early morning supper.
He steals the leftovers when everyone's sleeping even though everyone tells him not to. But then he might just be doing it to spite his roommates. Nobody tells him what to do. No but really, that guy is a bottomless pit.
Extending more on their dining habits, yes they do have organized times for their meals. Some of them anyway.
At morning, noon, and evening, the Sawyers, Sinclairs, tired old men™, James, and Brahms all sit down in the dining table and share a meal. Seven times out of ten, an argument of some kind will break out and lead to a food fight between Bo, Brahms, and the Sawyer twins.
*Insert Drayton's angry berating*
*Indifference of Michael and Jason as they sit, motionless, in their seats while food and tableware fly in every direction*
*Brahms whinging on about how Bo spilled his tea while Bo is busy fending off pieces of potato assaulting his face, launching more with his spoon at Chop Top*
*Bubba and James hides in a corner, a little scared and swooooooning over Bo's sexy arms*
*Nubbins is flinging hot soup at his own face*
The others who don't eat at the dinner table, and those who wake up at noon *cough* Billy and Stu *cough*, kind of just scatteredly drop by the fridge throughout the day when they're hungry.
There's literally no point leaving a note or writing your name on anything in the fridge, its going to be ignored. In fact, the food item will just be devoured even quicker.
In conclusion, they survive. (For the most part)
"C'mere fuckface! Stab stab stab!"
Though the household is far from pleasant,
"YEAH THATS RIGHT FUCKO THATS FOR SHITTING ON MY PILLOW!"
"? Whut"
They get by💕
"Ehehehehheheeehehehee TICKLETICKLETICKLETICKLE EHEHEHHEEEHEHHEHEEE FLOAT WITH ME"
This was suuuper fun to write😂 Honestly this concept doesn't get written about enough in this fandom. Hope you enjoyed this piece of garbage💕 Lemme know what you think.
I'll probably make a part two of this where all the more systematic and orderly slashers live together. Panik vs Kalm sort of deal.
As always, feel free to request stuff or share your ideas with me, I want to talk to you, I also need some inspiration😗
I bid you a good day/week/year/life and wish you luck in whatever that is to come💚
---Zali 🖤
So this blog was inspired by this post by...... ME! Zali. But on another blog. Thought I should share this here too to give an idea of wtf these MFs do.
Obviously things have since changed from their primitive form...... Those updates will be in order in butch-house-101.