crazy dumbsaint of the mind

vic | it/its | fandom and personal blog | late 20s | plural | psycho and crippled | if you're here to complain consider: i like having fun and do not care

[butchfemmespuffy]

webnovels i'm currently reading:

katalepsis by HY

stardust by valentine dagger

blank slate by michael

infectious diseases in cattle by echoregenerates

webnovel liveblogging is always tagged "#vic reads [title]"

silly little personal blog for someone who is, quite literally and by the definition of the word, fucking psycho. byf below read more.

i can't consistently tag; i'll tag specific things for mutuals who have "#__ don't look" tags, but otherwise, you can't count on me to consistently tag

i will not reblog your donation post unless i know you personally

generally i do not believe in censorship or thought crime at all, and my writing reflects this (including Sicko Freaks topics such as incest, rape, and underage)

TO BE EVEN MORE CLEAR: i participate in things like ageplay and incest rp and other various roleplays in the kink scene that riff on abominable power dynamics and if you think how someone plays pretend reflects on their actual interactions with irl power structures you are going to hate me

i'm a genderqueer transsexual; all pronouns are fine, i will never give out my CASAB, and i consider requests to publicize my CASAB/other medical information about my transition to be actively hostile

it/its are my primary pronouns but im a woman and a man

i'm (part of) a plural system; we are traumagenic, we do not have a dissociative disorder, if someone other than me (vic) wants you to know their url you'll know

generally speaking: i'm an anarchist, antipsychiatry, a prison abolitionist, a youth lib ally, and a huge opinionated bitch, so following me is a bad idea if you can't deal with those things

being femme is a big deal to me, loving butches is a big deal to me, and i post about it a lot

i'm jewish and REALLY weird about it like REALLY REALLY weird about it. if you're not cool with syncretism of both cultural and religious varieties, patrilineal descent, belief in past lives, religious plurality, or if you're a zionist, you're probably gonna get reallyyy mad when i talk about my judaism.

current fandoms:

most active current fandoms will always be the webnovels i'm currently reading

the magicians (syfy)

revolutionary girl utena

black butler (yana toboso)

the locked tomb (tamsyn muir)

homestuck (andrew hussie) & homestuck^2 (the hs^2 team)

buffy the vampire slayer

arcane (fortiche studio)

house md

supernatural

other information about me (identity info, personal tags i use, etc) must be divined from the information slop that is my blog feed. have fun.

if you want to be mutuals, would appreciate it if you could tag the following things with "#vic don't look":

usamerican election posting

boosting donation posts

sideblogs:

@pluralterhuman plurality and alterhumanity posting

@petrichorstreetlamps dark aes

@sweethearted light aes

@chronicbitchsyndrome antipsychiatry and cripplepunk posting

@lavenderboylove queer men/masc positivity posting

@fortunatelyfemme femme posting/outfit inspiration

@uucest uUcest (calliope/caliborn) fanwork archive

@fuckyeahlockedtomb oldschool "fuck yeah, ___!" style blog for the locked tomb series

[butchfemmespuffy]

watching puppy videos and feeling seething jealousy over how they get to be so very small and helpless and everyone thinks thats cute and it makes them like them more. its so over for me

[laterkiss]

sometimes i blog so badly but then a mutual likes my post and it's like summer in my mouth

[ssaalexblake]

now we have to have a tv movie where doctor billie piper is gunned down and promptly killed by the american healthcare system, only for her to regenerate into slutty paul mcgann again.

[butchfemmespuffy]

idt all spanking is sexual assault (all spanking is assault, but ig theres room for nuance as to whether it has a sexual dimension or not, sure). but i think one of the most common forms of it, with forced physical intimacy and nudity, just kinda objectively is. like if you strip someone nude and forcibly embrace them that is sexual assault in and of itself before you even factor in literally hitting their ass repeatedly. this is one of the ways i think refusing to see sexual assault as about power instead of sexual attraction or fulfillment is actively obscuring and enabling sexual assault. the primary argument against this categorization is that parents who spank aren't attracted to their children or deriving sexual fulfillment from spanking. but this has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not they are sexually assaulting them. im thinking about this rn because im thinking again about my relationship to having been spanked and how for over two decades i was utterly lost and blind as to why my body responds to sexual scenarios in the same way as someone who was violently sexually assaulted and why i struggle so much with these feelings and reactions despite the sexual injustice i experienced with peers being primarily emotionally coercive and nonviolent. but i was violently sexually assaulted. i was. repeatedly. when i was so small i liked to crawl under the upturned laundry basket to read. jesus.

[butchfemmespuffy]

the problem i always have with peoples television drinking games is that they never think about game design

[butchfemmespuffy]

sips should be based on consistent writing quirks that add up to a constant flow of alcohol, but not enough to be overwhelming, you should be able to go 30 seconds to 3 minutes without taking a sip, because you want to be able to recover and tune back into the show before someone points out another one. shots should be iconic and recognizable writing quirks that happen no more than once per episode, maybe twice for 45 minute eps, and should have some tonally loadbearing or fan-favorite aspect to them, something that makes them a core aspect of Watching This Show. you want to get really hyped to take a shot and not have to give up after 20 minutes of an episode.

[butchfemmespuffy]

the problem i always have with peoples television drinking games is that they never think about game design

[butchfemmespuffy]

i told yall when the news came out months ago that dw was getting canceled and gatwa was getting out because he saw the writing on the wall but nobody ever listens to the person with industry experience theyd rather conspiracy theorize about how davies was forcing him to leave to bring piper back on the cast. well i was right.

[butchorder]

Bar top desire, by The Butch Order

[dogpuppy]

[sexyladyonbed]

[heartslobbf]

heterophobic nanami real

[ID: two screenshots from 'revolutionary girl utena' of nanami and touga standing in the rose garden. nanami imploringly clings to touga, who stands stiffly with his face obscured from the audience. in the first screenshot, nanami says: 'i know i have to accept that you go out with girls.'

in the second screenshot, nanami continues: 'but don't go out with a girl like her!' /end ID]

[heartslobbf]

on a more serious note the way that nanami frames her dislike of touga’s relationships guts me without fail every time. immediately after this she says ‘you deserve better than this’ which is. So Interesting. and touga replies ‘are you implying you’re the better choice?’ which. my head is in my hands. there’s this horrible intense close-up of his face when he asks that and it’s just soooooo. oh it is So. me when touga has an incredibly fucked up relationship to sexuality and desirability.

but i digress, top ten things about nanami that make me love her more than anyone else in the world ever is the way that she’s so concerned with touga’s well-being and him not being ‘swarmed’ by girls, and at the same time. so wonderfully selfish and entitled. and at the same time. so horribly insecure and guilty about all of that. you know nanami was a terribly lonely and unnoticed child, her only ‘friends’ are lackeys she’s met within the show’s current-day timeframe, her parents ignored her (we dont need to get into whether or not that’s fortunate for her), when she says touga’s ‘smile was for me and me alone’ she really means that. like i believe her!!!! and i understand why he’s so important to her, because it’s like he’s the only person who has ever seen and loved her. and she’s so desperately sad and insecure because she killed his cat and he’s been cold with her ever since and oh god oh god i just need someone to say no one else will do it has to be you just once.

the guilt that nanami feels about Existing. being alive being born taking up space being a (weird non-)person at all. especially the guilt about killing that cat, especially the guilt about Changing her brother (which she has entirely accepted as something she did btw, always wondering why he’s so cold to her nowadays and reasoning that’s it). you know she’s repenting she’s saying over and over again i did this terrible thing and i regret it every day and im awful and terrible and selfish because i still want this one thing i need this one thing. maybe i can get it if i make sure nothing like this ever happens again. framing all these girls as ‘vermin’, a ‘swarm’, worrying herself about their intentions or uncleanliness or whatever. her brother sat catatonic in a room for who knows how long and she’s not supposed to try and fix that for him? try and make sure no one ever puts him in that state again?

i think. maybe. what im getting at here. is the princeliness of the little sister, princehood exercised by a sister. princehood here is the desire or ability to save someone, to exert control and power over them. as i said above nanami is guilt and insecurity and shame and entitlement all bundled together, and that’s partially imho because she has this idea of touga as her prince and she’s his princess, but touga rarely and minimally plays along with it and instead purposefully exacerbates this tendency of hers to. well. get possessive and defensive. and this makes all of those negative feelings they both have worse! it’s like theyre always playing this fucked up game of chicken where they just keep on expressing sentiments that almost get at how they really feel about things and then at the last second they both just regress back to these equivocations that obfuscate The Truth (not pictured here).

like, ‘you deserve better’ = i want you to be happy i want you to love me i want you to forgive me i don’t really think you should. ‘are you implying you’re the better choice?’ = i feel stifled by you i need you i need you to need me i wish i didn’t. their whole egg episode convo is a similar thing. all of their convos are like this. neither of them can say how they really feel and touga purposefully says things that makes the whole thing Worse but often not in the way he thinks he’s making it worse, and nanami often unknowingly says things that make it worse. tldr they cannot communicate on the same level whatsoever wow it’s almost like they’re profoundly alienated from one another and unwilling to change their flawed perceptions of the other. and i am so normal about all of that btw :)

[fellhellion]

via @mollypaup

[desolationlesbian]

remember when Elementary adapted the holmes stories and made Watson a woman which removed the gay subtext but then made Moriarty also a woman and gave them weird lesbian subtext. masterful technique. the never-before-seen uno yuri reverse

[mistbjorn]

totally normal 10ft tall portrait of your nemesis’ coworker

[butchfemmespuffy]

on sunny days i go out walking/i end up on a tree lined street/i look up at the gaps of sunlight/i miss you more than anything

[helloanthy]

23.06.2025 🔴 today's anthy!

untitled

[helloanthy]

i struggled with captioning this and decided to just say ''untitled'' bc i rly didnt kno what to say abt it in the end but im glad there r others who saw and understood anyways :+) and with the purview of the tags to help with articulating ... shoutout

[butchfemmespuffy]

putting on my obnoxious feminist complainer hat again but i just made the mistake of opening instagram. stop straightening little girls hair ohhhhhh my g-d let them fucking LIVE

[kunibeans]

Ermm rewind that