Your life is untitled @butt-box-blog - Tumblr Blog

GUYS, I'M SORRY I DISAPPEARED.

I WAS BUSY CRYING OVER THE FACT THAT EVERYONE I EVER KNEW AND LOVED HAS BEEN DEAD FOR DECADES.

also I forgot our password. awkward.

sooooo, how's life. how's the old bingo game of life, guys. how is it. how is it.

Mine's swell. Actually, it's not, I'm really stressed out lately and my little cousin BROKE HIS ARM YESTERDAY, BURN ALL THE SLIDES, ALL OF THEM!!!!!!!!!!! And I have a spot.

Also I have been neglecting this blog which makes me sad. But no more. I'll be here. at least once a month. at least once a year.

OKAY THAT'S ALL ,THIS HAS BEEN AN UNQUALITY POST, AHAHAHAHHAHAHAA,

LOVE,

CAPTAIN BUTT.

#captain butt

I need to pee now. I bet this is going to burn.

Iron Arse.

#Iron Arse

If I sit down with my legs against my chest, then my crotch really starts to hurt.

Iron Arse.

#Iron Arse

LADIES!!

SAY SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR LIVES!!!!

#batcrack

shirtlessboys

#batcrack #i saw this and thought that is a nice butt

thesanityclause

Oh Jesus. I clicked on our tag that we're tracking called "butts". Well it's just pictures of vaginas.. That's not a butt.

In other news I now think vagina's look a bit like a meat filled sandwich.

Iron Arse.

#Iron Arse

I'M SORRY. I WANTED TO KNOW WHAT A BUTT PLUG IS.

Iron Arse.

#Iron Arse

are we just going to leave that hanging there?

about the buttplug? REALLY WIFE REALLY

damn it wife

*shakes fist*

#batcrack #OUT

A butt plug goes into the arsehole and stretches it so they can have bum bum sex.

Batcrack xoxo

Butt Plug

I keep checking this URL, but I keep calling it butt-plug for some reason.

What is a butt plug by the way? What is it's function? I feel that this is relevant considering that we are the butt vengers after all.

Iron Arse.

#Iron Arse

Captain Butt, the reason why I cut you off is because you call me at the most inconvient time!

Like in my lecture, or in my seminar, or when I'm on the toilet! THAT HAS HAPPENED. I AM NOT PICKING UP THE PHONE WHEN TAKING A PISS.

Omg we're all McFly fans! Random fact of the day: I bought my mum a McFly CD for Christmas :)

Wife :( What did they do? Do you want me to kick some ass? I will come back from Chester to do so!

Well my life update is just the assignments that I'm currently doing. But right not I'm eating a Terrys Chocolate Orange with toffee in it and it's gooooooooooooood. OH and today I shaved my legs with a proper razor, not the electric one, for the first time and I didn't cut myself which is what I was afraid of doing, so I've been proud of myself all day.

Iron Arse.

#Iron Arse

Dear diarryyyyyyy

I always check to see if you guys have said anything but I'm too lazy to sign in and type things because effort yeaaah I got into university yeaaaaah bitches

IRON ARSE YOU ARE RUDE

I didn't know you liked McFly cap yay my babies

I really don't want to go back to college tomorrow because they totally humiliated me and I'm so mad at them I could actually explode I can't even think about them without getting agitated.

xoxo

#batcrack

GUYS WE HAVEN'T UPDATED IN 2 WEEKS, THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE.

First of all, congratulations to our very own Bat Crack for getting an offer from university, AWW YEAH.

Second of all, I hate Iron Arse because EVERY TIME I call her she cuts off the call because she's 'too busy' for ME. FOR ME. TOO BUSY. WHAT.

(Also I really miss you guys and we should have a movie night sometime in December when Lauren's back, yes???)

I'm currently trying to finish my personal statement but McFly is like, totes distracting. I need to get it done so I can pop into town to buy some stuff for my outfit for my work's Christmas party tonight. On a scale of 1 to 10, how awkward do you think this party's going to be???? SIGH.

In other news I finish work in just over a month, all my arsehole friends are back in town in a couple of weeks, my new book about directing arrived and it's bare good so far AND IT'S CHRISTMAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON.

NOW I WANT UPDATES ON YOUR LIVES TOO!!!

#Captain butt

So I pretty much shat myself last night

Did a Brett lol

The other girls in this block don't shut or lock the front door, they just leave it open because it's easier for them. Which fair enough, it is, you just have to push it and it opens. But it's pretty obvious when it's open. It's been bothering me and my friend for ages because if ever someone got in then it would be our rooms to get burgled first as we're nearest to the front door.

Anyway the girls didn't shut or lock the door last night and at about 2.30am this random guy walked into our block and knocked on my door, which freaked me out a little, and when I opened it he was just really sweet and said "Sorry to bother you, but do you know that your front door is open?" and then I went and closed it. I wasn't too fussed because I recognized him, I think he lives in the block next door.

But imagine if that had actually been just some random person off the street, and imagine if they weren't knocking on my door to tell me that the door to the block is open? I think I should email the person who runs our block because I'm a little scared about strangers getting in.

Iron Arse.

#Iron Arse

Dear diary,

I always seem to remember to post here when I'm in a rush and can't get everything I want to say out fast enough. I'm going to my nans tonight, so there will be much hot chocolate (sorry cap). Yesterday I went to get a flu jab and blood ran all down my arm. THAT IS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN OKAY I'VE BEEN GETTING THEM FOR LIKE FIVE YEARS AND THIS IS THE FIRST YEAR THE NHS HASN'T DONE IT AND fucking lloyds pharmacy ugh. Then I had to go down to the police station because someone handed in my college ID card so I guess I dropped it on the way home. Milo is staring at me as I type. She's bought FOUR mice home today. That is a record you murderous beast. I'm exhausted. Today was pyjama day so I wore jammies to placement. It was weird. Jared is in a skirt and I don't know what to do. Send help SOS.

laters

#batcrack

Captain's Log 5#:

Lauren, for every time you refer to Nigerian Girl as Nigerian Girl I'm going to call you White Girl. LEARN HER DAMN NAME.

So White Girl and Sammy, I really want this hot chocolate right now but I have none. What's your favourite hot chocolate. Mine's Options Brownie. Whoo.

No but I'm having a nice day today, just so you all know. I have the day off so I slept in and then watched tv and wrote some more of my personal statement - almost finished with my first draft. Sooooo nervous about sending it to Miss Concannon. She's going to be like 'wtf, why are you doing FILM now?!' - and now I'm sitting around with some family and they're stupid because it's Diwali. And I'm making a Christmas list. I'm so excited about who I got for Secret Santa!

#captain butt

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