why can't we not be sober @butwilltherebealcohol - Tumblr Blog

on 1 hand, those shitty overly-sweet premade cockail-in-a-bottles are bs and overpriced and frankly disgusting all around

On The Other- sometimes they contain whiskey and are ona remarkable sale,

#drunk thoughts #oh lord he drunk again #tw depression #whiskey speaks #drunk nights #tw alcoholism #i'm drunk #don't read this lmao #long day and week an year etc etc #hating myself alot suprise suprise #it was like clearance man. i'm saving money #it's on sale because it's awful yes BUT STILL

sometimes I wake up super hungover and think that's the worst I could feel and then I wake up from an alarm jolting me out of the middle of a really deep lucid dream n get that weird pseudo-forced-realitycheck nausea/headache/etc and thinkTHATS the worst I could feel andTHEN I open up a teeny tiny bit to someone about something slightly personal/about my feelings and Iliterally almost fucking vomit on the spot and walk away shuddering sweating stumbling like an honest togd junkie. and i remember that for some reason w/o a doubt that last of the 3 is somehow the worst one?? why is THAT the worst one

#drunk thoughts #oh lord he drunk again #tw depression #whiskey speaks #tw alcoholism #don't read this lmao #it's early huh #i work nights its fine #i can drink early its fine itS FINE ITS FIN #literally tried 2 talk abt my feelings for 5 minutes and like #fuck im ill #like bein hungover is one bad feeling but that THAT #was bullshit #i cant do that talkin abt myself shit man that was awful wtf #i literally left dry heaving from a sober convo more than i ever have drunk jfc #ANYWAY I'VE EARNED DRINKING EARLY #lol i hate myself

I Literally Cannot Emphasize Enough how much asking me whats on mymind is a Bad Idea. like bro i be drinkin away these thoughts best i can for a Reason

#depressed #drunk thoughts #oh lord he drunk again #drunk nights #whiskey speaks #i'm drunk #lol literally just dont #like im gonna lie #im def gonna lie #dont waste everyoens timej #everyones #if i was honest nothing would end up well. for any1involved #trust me #am i drunk? yes #i hate myself #so here we are

I hate Wanting. it's so fucking gross like dude (me) shut the fuck up

#drunk thoughts #oh lord he drunk again #tw depression #it's me im the dude #whiskey speaks #drunk nights #i'm drunk #don't read this lmao #a fucking gorgeous woman who is also a friend of mine Looked At me so now I have to. Lie Down and Mourn #fuck man #just take me out back and shoot me

In My Defense: knowing for afact I can get home and get shit-faced within x number of days/hours has gotten methrough multiple situations inwhich i prob wouldve just offed myself then & there. so. health is relative, yk

#drunk thoughts #oh lord he drunk again #tw depression #whiskey speaks #drunk nights #i'm drunk #tw alcoholism #functional alcoholism #ig???#lol i wanna die tbh #but the carrot and stick method seems to b doin something #carrot bein whiskey #and stick being. staying alive #so here we are #look if nobody wants to man up and just kill me(myself included) this is what we get #literally nothing feels not painful except this lol #but its fine its all fine

cannot believe nobody got me what i wanted for my birthday (a bullet in the fucking head) even though i literlly ask for the same damn thing every year come on nowguys...do us all a favor

#drunk thoughts #oh lord he drunk again #cw suicidal #BOURBON TO THE BRAIN IT IS #fuck birthdays #tw birthday #i guesslol #whiskey speaks #i badly rationaliz bein sad/angrydrunk most nights of the year anyway #but for a bit i can ALLLSO say its bc its my birthday #so theres that lmao #i wanna die i wanna die #imso sick of waking up like this #a lifeand brain where drinkingmyself to numbness is the only solice #please for the love of god. one bullet to the temple is all i ask #or a gun. i'll do it #WHY AM I STILL HERE LEGITIMATELY

I'm not asking for anything else anymore except for it to stop. I just want it to stop hurting.

#drunk thoughts #tw depression #whiskey speaks #drunk nights #i'm drunk #drinking away pain #almost works

nobody:

literally not a single soul:

me: it's because I'm a bad person

#drunk thoughts #oh lord he drunk again #tw depression #tw self hatred #every single word out my nouth nd everyaction i take is WRONG and bAD and SELFISH im so TIRED #im SO TIRED i just want to sleep #when im asleep dead drunk in my room is the only time im not actively hurting anyone #why pretend there's any good in me waking up #the thoughts won lol #but then again im not rly fighting them anymore huh

like i realize I'm a pussy-ass bitch of a man who is too sensitive and gets too angry about the smallest of bullshit on one hand but oN THE OTHER HAND-

-people really do be out here flyin off the handle over stupid bs too like why is it only a problem when i do it why is it always ONLYYY an issue when it's me. just wondering

#tw anger issues #i'm drunk #angry drunk #drunk nights #oh lord he drunk again #don't read this lmao #i dream of murdering I rly do #whiskey speaks #idk i just get tired of hearing other people rage over nothing #I am in fact The Most hypocritical of hypocrites yes

they all warn you it's u against the world and only look out for yourself,etc etc but what they Don't tell is when you hate yourself...well it's a lot harder to live ur whole life fighting only for you and being the only one fighting foryou when you know full well you're not worth fighting for

#drunk thoughts #oh lord he drunk again #I work and sleep and then go to work and then go to sleep and then go twork and then sleep and theres nobody for me and nobody gives ashit #tw depression #drinking alone #tw self hatred #hhhhhhghh anyway #anyone tried 100p whisky lately?its v good #what am I doing

llllllilsten im mnot saying staying up way too late getting way too crossed and listenin to Jeff Buckley is solving any of my problems but it does make me temporarily forget aboutsome of them so... what can you do

like its not my fault dude literally has the best angry song best happy song best sad song best romance song best happy romance song best horny song best horny sad song best angry romance song bst horny ad song best happy sad song b est-

anybody, about anything, in any context: yeah idk I'm just feeling really down about-

Me: HAVE YOU TRIED SUBSTANCES

#drunk thoughts #oh lord he drunk again #tw alcoholism #whiskey speaks #lonely nights #lmao idk #this was funny in my head ok #anyway #i'm drunk #tw alcoholic #crossfaded

thanks for comin out folks this next one's called Everything Inside Me Hurts And Nobody Cares 1 2 3 *starts sobbing uncontrollably*

#depressed #lonely nights #alone #THIS WAS FUNNY IN MY HEAD OK #prob will delete later #unless i get blackout and laugh at it again and/or forget

it's crazy how you'll be like "I'm at least on friendly acquaintance terms w this person" and then you see/overhear how they treat all the friends and people they actually like having in their life and you're like oh. that's right i'm nothing but annoying to anybody forgot for a sec whoops my b

#just straightup don't have anybody #depressed #lonely nights #unloveable #no friends #no love #god i N E E D a fucking drink but i'm at WORKKUGGGGG #i hate myself so much #alone

it's almost funny how quickly ppl get annoyed w me for like. minor mistakes at work or w.e superfical context like buddy u have no IDEA how terrible i actually am as a person, me putting somthn in the wrong spot isnt even the tip of the iceberg like im ACTUALLY a piece of shit, that was just me being an inconvenience

#drunk thoughts #oh lord he drunk again #tw depression #tw self hatred #lol i am stupid tobe fair #but thats like. such a small aside to all the rest of what mystupidity has caused #“that doesnt go here” well I don't go HERE(life) so #like who r we fooling

Me: *is ugly* *is toxic* *is selfish**is harmful* *is afraid of vulnerability* * makes no effort to seek out others* *is generally speaking not a very good person*

also Me: seems all my peers are getting into relationships and I am still alone, how odd. wonder why

#drunk thoughts #oh lord he drunk again #tw depression #drunk nights #reasons im single #lol im literallyso fucking stupid #like of COURSEur single bud u r literally terrible and never even attempt bettering ur self #WHAT did you expect exactly #i'm drunk #idk i'll delete this later #if i rememer i posted it lol

fun fact if ur a worthless unloveable piece of shit watching a friend especially for example one Whom You Live With And Must See EveryDay in the beginning stages of starting a loving relationship with someone theyve been crushing on and being all giddy over it is in fact!!! psychological torture like just sentence me the chair at this point man where's the gun i am begging

#drunk thoughts #oh lord he drunk again #tw depression #drunk nights #always alone #relationships #what a concept #there's no justifying me being upset she's so happy espesh when she's family I'm literally ust objectively a bad personlmao #i wannaaaaaa blow my brains out lol #whiskey speaks #personal ig #im not asking for a good gf!! or one at all really!! just kinda someone to fuck me up (and kill me 2maybe)#will delete this soon #signs ur a bad person 101 lmao #what if i go on th patio and scream n then jump what then

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why can't we not be sober