Neighbor 101: Frans
I’ve written about one hundred neighbors. One hundred people leaving one place and travelling to the next. People on their way home, to work or to loved ones. People from over ten countries. Some share with me only that day’s thoughts, others share their life story. Frans is one of the latter.
He joins me in Antwerp, where he has lived his entire life. He has a classic appearance, wearing pastel lilac pants, black patent shoes, a checked shirt and grey vest. Every now and then he puts on his brown glasses.
Frans is a reader and a writer. He wrote two novels and a collection of fairytales for adults. “They can be a bit dark at times.” Now he’s reading a French magazine, which he shares with me so I can practice my French. When I ask about his favorite book, he lights up. “I think you need to read all the classics. But read them slowly, so you don’t miss anything.” He is now writing a book about ballet. He shows me his first papers: handwritten on seperate pieces of paper. He then looks at me and says: ‘you have the perfect physique for ballet’. I’ll take the complement, but tell him I probably should have started about twenty years ago.
Every Thursday he takes the train to Amsterdam, only to go back four days later. Frans is on his way to see his partner, with whom he’s been for thirty-five years. They met in Amsterdam, after which his partner visited him in Antwerp the next weekend. Every since, Frans has taken the train to Amsterdam every Thursday.
We talk about love and distance. His questions are direct and very likely too personal for a casual conversation with a neighbor. But the beauty of these conversations is that you have them with people you’ve never met before and will probably never see again. People with completely different life stories and interesting new perspectives. So I’m rolling with it.
His story is a true one. He grew up in conservative Flanders, with little space to develop himself and his sexuality. He was insecure about his body and masculinity. “But that was a different time.” He has a partner now, a man he has visited in Amsterdam every weekend for the last thirty-five years. They both also see other people. “We both sleep with other people, but that does not mean that my partner is not the love of my life.”
The train calls in Amsterdam too soon. Thank you for the surprising conversation, fairytale writing Frans.