Things "Real" New Yorkers Say That Reveal They're Just Tourists with Apartments
A.) "There was traffic on the Queens Brooklyn Expressway today." Wrong order, just call it the BQE, and no shit there's traffic. I'm 99.99% sure that making good time on the BQE is a sign of an approaching apocalypse. B.) "I'm a native New Yorker, I'm from around here. Staten Island, uhh, never been. Where's that?" Not as absurd, Staten Island is pretty much the ugly stepchild as far as the five boroughs go, but still, you sound like you've never heard of it before. Like you never went on the ferry as a kid? I'm sorry for mocking you, missing out on the best calzones in the entire country should be punishment enough. C.) "This is New York, people don't get drunk here." I'll just leave the last one here.











