I didn't know that I didn't know.
This happens to me ALL THE TIME and it's so infuriating. Especially when they like... completely misunderstand your explanation of the misunderstanding as well.
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I didn't know that I didn't know.
This happens to me ALL THE TIME and it's so infuriating. Especially when they like... completely misunderstand your explanation of the misunderstanding as well.
In hindsight it's very insulting to be told that flunking out of college due to adhd is actually "quite common"
just like, if there's a history at your institution of disabled kids not being able to make it you realise that's your fault right. like why don't you fucking do something about it. i guess they tried to do something about it with me and it failed so they let me go. crazy. nice work. why should we try to do any better.
only 5% of people with adhd who go to college finish a degree. FUCKING. FIVE!!! PERCENT!!!!!!!!!!!
that should disgust and enrage you.
if any other demographic of students had a 95% failure rate, we would be demanding reform and studies to understand why that’s happening
when i was at my first university, trying to get accommodations for my ADHD, they just kept asking me what accommodations i wanted, and refused to answer when i would ask what was available to me. how the Hell am i supposed to know what i can have? what’s available???? also, i don’t know!!!! i’m an adhd sufferer, not a fucking disability expert for the fucking college, unlike you, DISABILITY EXPERT WHO WORKS FOR THE COLLEGE.
but because the us is OBSESSED with making sure no one gets anything “”for free””, she literally would not tell me what my options were until i broke down in tears and asked her why she was refusing to help me. and then she did a big sigh, like i was fucking up her entire career by *checks notes* asking the disability center in my university to help me, a disabled student
at the second uni i went to, i tried to explain to a dean that i was literally two gen eds that had nothing to do with my degree away from graduating and that i was burnt out and broke and exhausted and suicidal and i just needed to be able to finish my degree without the gen eds. and this. fucking. guy. looked me right in my face and said in the most patronizing tone he could muster “if you can’t handle it, then maybe college just isn’t for you.” keep in mind that up until that semester, i had been an honor student who made Dean’s List every semester and didn’t get below Bs. if it hadn’t been for my mental breakdown, i would have graduated cum laude, maybe even summa cum laude.
but this dean of students looked a disabled person right in the face and said well i guess you just can’t do it, short bus
Pulled these from a couple articles really quick but yeah the statistics are not kind. I remember writing a scathing essay about my issues with ADHD and college as part of an assignment for academic probation. I got back an email calling me entitled and lazy. Somehow, this thread helps me feel a lot better. I still have about a semester of school unfinished that I’m unsure if I’ll finish but… yeah. Makes me feel better to know it’s not just me.
PSA: The Job Accommodation Network maintains a searchable database of accommodation suggestions for a wide variety of disabilities.
The full database can be accessed here and the ADHD page is here. The full database can be filtered by disability, by limitation, by work-related function, by topic, and by accommodation. Many of these accommodations are applicable to academic settings as well as the workplace.
Here are the section headers for ADHD accommodations ideas to give an overview of what the page contains - this post would become Do You Love the Color of the Accommodation if I attempted to list them all here
The ADHD page linked above also includes case examples and strategies for determining what sort of accommodations might be necessary. More broadly, the JAN website as a whole is a treasure trove of information related to the Americans with Disabilities Act and resources for both individuals and employers.
ADHD and learning disabilities in general are so fun because you can be dignosed with a disability, show your papers showing you have a disability and everyone agrees you have said disability, yet every single time you struggle or are /disabled/ in some way because of it you are just told "Oh, everyone's like that. Try harder."
The more posts like this that I see, the more that I realize that I am very thankful to the lord that pretty much everyone around me during my time in school and in college never came anywhere close to this level of incompetence and condescension.
And I say this as someone who is AuDHD by the way.
I have trouble taking care of my teeth because everything that involves doing that is a sensory nightmare. I decide to do some research to see if there's anything I can do about this. The results?
"How to make your autistic child brush their teeth"
"Autistic Children and Sensory issues relating to tooth brushing"
"How to get your little shit to brush his fucking teeth"
Like, yeah Google, thanks, that really helps. And like, even if I was a child, some of the advice seemed... unhelpful. Like, doing a dance and singing a song while brushing your teeth? Even for a kid, I don't think that would help distract from a sensory experience as intense as brushing your teeth. Like, the extremely intense and unpleasant flavor, the intense feeling of the brush against your teeth scraping across it, even mouthwash has such an intense and disgusting flavor that I have difficulty keeping it in my mouth for more than a few seconds. I wish there was SOMETHING that could be done.
I actually did research on how to keep your teeth clean if you don't have access to a toothbrush or toothpaste! I needed the info for a story, but thankfully it also has real world applications. Maybe something here will help:
If the bristles are a sensory nightmare, try a soft cloth instead. Cloth was one of the methods used before toothbrushes were invented, although they used shit like burlap. Don't do burlap. Cotton or linen should do fine.
You can also buy natural toothbrushes made with bamboo and boar hair. I've never tried them so I'm not sure how different they'd feel compared to synthetic bristles, but they're pretty cheap on Amazon if you want to give them a shot
If even the "extra soft" bristles are too stiff, you could try soaking them overnight in some mouthwash to soften them further. This is what we did when I was growing up, and it worked like a charm. Bonus points that the alcohol in the mouthwash kills any germs stuck on the brush
If the toothpaste flavor is horrendous, make a paste with baking soda and water, then flavor it however you want with a sugar-free extract. Heck, look for recipes to make your own toothpaste, and experiment until you get something you can stand to use.
If the texture of the toothpaste is bad, the baking soda method might work better for you, or you could try scrubbing salt or activated charcoal on your teeth instead—that's what they used before toothpaste was invented. Personally, I'd recommend the baking soda or making your own toothpaste.
Different brands often have different textures, and some even have different flavors (this is especially true of kids toothpastes, which work just as well for adults), so swapping brands might help, too. I can't stand Crest, it makes my mouth feel all filmy no matter how well I rinse, but Colgate doesn't leave a weird feeling in my mouth. Also Colgate is the only brand my grocery store carries that has cinnamon flavored toothpaste as an option, and I'm a whore for cinnamon
You're probably using too much toothpaste anyway. Most people do. You really only need a dollop about the size of a pea. I smush it out across the bristles so I don't have to deal with a glob of it in one spot.
Floss if you can. That's going to do more to stop your teeth from rotting than brushing will. Standard dental floss is obviously an option, but if you're like me and you can't stand putting your hands in your mouth, try disposable floss picks or investing in a water flosser. I still hate the feeling of the floss between my teeth, but it's manageable since I don't have my fingers in my mouth on top of it. Haven't tried the water flosser since the picks work well enough for me
Try chewing sugarless gum, especially right after you've eaten. It's not perfect, but it'll help. Also it comes in a billion flavors so hopefully there's something you like in there
If absolutely none of that is helpful, rinsing with water is still better than nothing. You can mix in salt to help kill bacteria if you can handle it, but bare minimum try to do a rinse and spit.
Obviously not all of that is from my pre-modern teeth cleaning research—some is from personal experience! But hopefully something in there is useful to you
It's absolute bullshit that we have to approach these problems sideways because the people actually making "helpful" articles about it are all ableist :| Maybe some day soon we as a society can get over that.
If you’re like me and still feel like your mouth is phlegmy/gummy/filmy after brushing with Colgate, I’ve found (in my experience at least) that Tom’s of Maine has very little of the same issue with residue and with Bite toothpaste tablets** the issue is basically nonexistent.
Tom’s of Maine makes toothpaste in a variety of flavors—the stuff made for adults I’ve only seen with different kinds of mint, but their kids’ toothpaste comes in a variety of fruity flavors as well as mint, and works just as well. They also have both fluoride and fluoride-free options for their kids’ toothpaste, if there’s anyone who has issue with fluoride.
Bite only comes in mint flavor as far as I know, but in my experience it’s less overpowering than some other brands. They also have options of either fluoride toothpaste or nano-hydroxyapatite toothpaste.
(not trying to discredit prev addition’s advice/suggestions at all btw, I just read that and went “damn, colgate?? that still leaves a bunch of residue that’s hard to wash out for me” and figured I’d share alternatives I know in case other people have the same issue lol)
**ALSO!! Heads up in case it might be an issue for you: Bite toothpaste does not come in tubes nor in paste form!! The way it works is that you put a toothpaste bit in your mouth and chewing it up until it mixes with your saliva, and you put the wet toothbrush in your mouth after that and brush with the resulting solution. This means it does all kinda start off in one place in your mouth BUT it has less volume to start bc it’s a tablet that gets crushed into powder when you bite down on it + the initial bite kinda explodes the tablet into pieces so. idk it could be less of an issue than a singular glob of goopy standard toothpaste off the bat
yapped a bit too much bc this is genuinely my favorite toothpaste LOL so extra info about Bite toothpaste under the cut
AuDHD is so funny sometimes like what do you mean my hyperfixations/special interests will last for years on end or possibly forever but they will cycle out every month or two with absolutely no transitional period or warning. like i will think about the same topic every day obsessively for 46 days in a row and on the 47th day with no visible cause adhd brain goes "ok! bored of that now" and autism brain goes "dw i got something queued up for ya" and i blast into full blown obsession on some other topic whose mental file folders haven't opened in 9 months. brain's out here treating hyperfixations like a crop rotation. once the dopamine runs out it cycles in another one but once something's in the rotation it never ever leaves. last summer we brought in one from when i was 11. it's so funny to me but frustrating too bc like. i cannot stress enough my inability to predict or control this. or how completely abrupt and random it can be
EDIT: seems this is more common among ND people than i thought, and probably not limited to AuDHD specifically :] i was just describing my own experiences and i'm not an authority, but i'm glad i'm not alone in this<3
Me cycling between My Little Pony, various videogames, theology, psych, and homesteading.
got a lovehate relationship with routine and repetition. yes if you put me in a repetitive situation i will start chewing on myself like a caged animal. but also no if you interrupt my self imposed routines i will start crying. this has made me so super good at being in the workforce #trust
FEMA & FCC National Emergency Test
On Wednesday, Oct 4th, at 2:20 pm ET in the US, FEMA and the FCC are conducting an emergency alert test.
If you have a device that you need to keep secret, for whatever reason, you will want to turn it off on that day.
Please be aware that silencing the device may not prevent the alert from being heard.
Here's a link to move info from FEMA & the FCC
Stay safe!!
Do you feel, like, constantly overwhelmed? Unable to focus on tasks and self-care like showering? Have I got the tip for you
I recently got put on this method through a YouTube video recommended to me called the Sharp Ax method. Name doesn't matter, I'm gonna skip right to telling you what to do.
You have a notebook? Maybe one that you've horded and used once or twice before abandoning? Grab that shit. Get your favorite pen. At the top of the page you're going to write "Brain Dump". For like, 10-15 minutes, just sit there and write down every thought that comes to mind. Does your back hurt? Write it. Do you have to make breakfast? Write it.
But here's the thing: if there's something you need to do (paperwork, showering, shopping, etc) you're gonna write it like this.
"I want to shower." "I want to check the mailbox." "I want to do my laundry today."
For whatever reason, reframing things you need to do as things you want to do has helped me so immensely, and even when I can't finish all the things I want to finish, I still feel good for finishing the ones I was able to.
This stupidly simple journaling technique (which doesn't even feel like journalling to me) has caused me to go from being chronically overwhelmed to feeling like, even just for a little bit, everything is going to be okay.
What to do during a panic attack
When no one is around, or when you woke up at night, try these tips. This is just what helped me!
- Lay on the ground (helps you breathe) and rub your hands together. Slightly apply pressure to your eyeballs.
- Put on some music, or your comfort show, to distract you. But careful: It could be that you are easily more overstimulated by this! This tip should help you especially later when the attack fades out, but of course it could also help instantly, its something one has to try out. I need it later
- If possible and you feel able to, go out, walk fast, or try some sit ups or push ups
- If not, keep your hands busy by touching all your body parts separately. Maybe name them in your thoughts
- Breath in the 5 7 8 technique when your heart is racing. You might feel like you are not getting enough air, try to tell yourself that your body is getting all the oxygen it needs, because that's the case.
- If you feel like puking, try humming as song, and try to distract yourself
- If you have ice nearby and can move, hold it in your hands til it melts, or rub it on your body, especially if you feel like overheating
- If you're high functioning during this and don't feel like telling anyone (and this may sound weird but it's my experience), try to move the whole time and distract yourself with conversation.
- Normally your attack will fade out by itself. Some last 10 minutes, some 30, some up to some hours. I know internet always says something different, but mine for instance lasts for about two hours. Rely on that clock, tell yourself it will be better in __ hours/minutes. This is not a constant state.
Add up if you have other tips!
If yours last for days, like mine have before, please seek help. Don’t be afraid to go to the hospital if you need to.
This Laptop Decals item by TheUncannyValley has 11 favorites from Etsy shoppers. Ships from Suwanee, GA. Listed on Nov 4, 2022
I made some DPDR stickers if anyone is interested!
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I really think an anchor would be a great symbol for depersonalization/derealization since it's a reminder to stay grounded. I also picked the forget-me-not flowers because of a legend behind them. Check it out, it's really cute!
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I plan on making more if these sell out and I might even do keychains. I'd really appreciate if these were shared! This is something I've been wanting to do for years.
Your anxiety will not control you forever. There is a place in your future where you have all of the support and tools you need to thrive. One day you’ll look at your life and realize you no longer shake in new situations, hide instead of enjoy yourself, or get so easily frustrated when you’re stressed. It may not disappear, but it will be minuscule compared to how it feels now. Just keep working towards it.
oh, don't mind me, im just masking my disorder for you to like me
Eating toast for dinner instead of cooking is better than not eating anything at all.
Using mouthwash instead of brushing your teeth is better than not taking care of your teeth at all.
Wiping yourself with a damp cloth or baby wipe instead of showering is better than not bathing at all.
Doing only one out of five assignments you need to turn in is better than not submitting anything at all.
Talking to a loved one on the phone is better than not talking to anyone at all.
Playing your favorite video game, listening to good music, or reading a book instead of "grinding" is better than not doing anything at all.
Don't beat yourself up for not being "productive enough". A little productivity is still productivity.
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Surprisingly, this is not a Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy reference, but an actual fact. From Burnout: Solve Your Stress Cycle, by Emily and Amelia Nagoski
Edit: Here is the full text from the image and the end of the sentence that’s missing:
[Forty-Two Percent
So how much rest is “adequate”?
Science says: 42 percent.
That’s the percentage of time your body and brain need you to spend resting. It’s about ten hours out of every twenty-four. It doesn’t have to be every day; it can average out over a week or a month or more. But yeah. That much.
“That’s ridiculous! I don’t have that kind of time!” you might protest - and we remind you that we predicted you might feel that way, back at the start of the chapter.
We’re not saying you should take 42 percent of your time to rest; we’re saying if you don’t take the 42 percent, the 42 percent will take you. It will grab you by the face, shove you to the ground, put its foot on your chest, and declare itself the victor.]
Note: This refers to rest in general, not specifically to sleep. These are average figures; individual circumstances will vary.
there is nothing wrong with being mediocre. there is nothing wrong with not being the best at everything you do. there is no guilt in doing the bare minimum because you have no energy to do more than that. “living your life to the fullest” can mean different things for you at different times in your life. sometimes, it is achieving your goals and fulfilling your purpose, and sometimes, it is allowing yourself to rest and just get through it.
you deserve the space to simply be. to exist, to witness, to breathe, and to find peace.