with mind and heart and soul

❝ we can still do anything. we can change our minds. we can start over. we’re so young. we can’t, we must not lose this sense of possibility because in the end, it’s all we have. ❞

[bxxmer]

LIKE THIS POST FOR A PERSONALIZED STARTER!

[bxxmer]

SEND ONE OF THE FOLLOWING FOR MY MUSE’S REACTION

"I don’t think I ever loved you."

"You never loved me."

"You’re not being fair."

"This is the right thing to do, and you know it."

"There’s nothing you can do about it now."

"I just wanted to be your first pick…"

"Did I ever matter?"

"You weren’t meant to get involved."

"Get a grip of yourself."

"I can’t stand to look at you."

"Get out of my sight."

"How dare you talk to me like that!?"

"You make me sick."

"You need to put yourself first."

"I won’t let you give up."

"Why won’t you believe me?"

"Please, just trust me, just this once."

"Woah, when did you get that?"

"Who did this to you?"

"How many time have I told you to be more careful?"

"You’re saying this was an accident?"

"What a shiner!"

"If you look like this, I’d hate to see the other guy."

"I’m not buying it, you don’t walk into a door and get a bruise like that!"

"Does it hurt when I touch it?"

"Let me kiss it better."

"If you don’t rest, you won’t heal."

"Another fight?"

"What happened to your face?"

"I don’t think your arm is meant to bend like that…"

"Let’s get you to bed."

"Let’s get you to the hospital."

"Why are you so calm about this?"

"You’re bleeding!"

"What are friends for, ey?"

"So, instead of helping you, they ran off the moment they saw what was happening?"

"You need to look where you’re going."

"I’m not accusing anyone, I’m just saying it looks suspicious."

"Do you want to tell me what really happened?"

"Don’t move! You’ll faint!"

"I’ve got some bandages, wait a sec."

"You’re the clumsiest person I know."

"I won’t let you be on your own, not when you’re like this."

"How could you be so careless?"

"I can’t even look at you, you promised not to get into any more fights!"

"H-how many of them were there?"

"I cheated on you."

"I saw you! I saw you with her/him!"

"How could you do this to me?"

"I thought we were okay…"

"We could have had it all…"

"You ruined me."

"You fucked my sister/brother? Well it’s only fair I guess… I mean I did fuck your mum/dad while we were together, so we’re even now."

"I don’t love you any more."

"You never loved me."

"I gave you the best years of my life."

"I only loved you to get into the will…"

"I don’t know what to do any more."

"I can’t keep letting you hurt me."

"I can’t keep hurting you."

"It’s not your baby…"

"Well guess what? I faked every orgasm!"

"I know it’s not my baby."

"I trusted me."

"I still love you."

"I… I’m just disappointed in you."

"I was always second place- I never really mattered did I?"

"Did I even mean anything to you?"

"I just want to know that what we had was real, even if it was so short."

"You can’t just leave me like this…"

"I’m leaving for good."

"I’m never coming back."

"I don’t want to see you ever again."

"I’m really glad I met you."

"I’m so proud of you!"

"I just want to make you proud."

"Never a dull day with you!"

"I just want to make you happy, always."

"You make me so happy."

"I don’t know what I’d do without you."

"Thank you so much for being there for me."

"Thank you for caring so much."

"Thank you for giving up so much of your time."

"Thank you."

"You’ve given me a new lease of life."

"I count my blessings every day I’m with you."

"You’re so special to me, you know that right?"

"Do you know how much you mean to me?"

"I can’t imagine life without you."

[bxxmer]

✆, ✉, ☎, ⁇, %, ツ, $ --- :DDDD

“✆” for a MORNING text. 

[ ✉ → 海原 ] i’m swinging by to pick up emma for our shift![ ✉ → 海原 ] i know it’s early for a weekend and these texts might wake you, but i brought your favorites (according to emma) so forgive me?

“✉” for a text that WASN’T SENT. 

[ ✉ { drafted under } 海原 ] you keep thinking you’re an awful person, but we’re all capable of terrible things, just like we’re all capable of wonderful things. and kali, you have so much wonderful in you, and you DO wonderful things whether you think them as so or not. you’re a better person than you think.

“☎” for a RUSHED text.

[ ✉ → 海原 ] darius is fine he’s okay i swear he is

“⁇” for a DRUNK text.

[ ✉ → 海原 ] u arnt always tugh an its okay[ ✉ → 海原 ] liv a lttle!!! 

“%” for a CURIOUS text.

[ ✉ → 海原 ] this is going to sound stupid, but what would look better on me: a lip piercing or multiple ear piercings? or maybe multiple ear piercings on one ear? 

“ツ” for an EXCITED text.

[ ✉ → 海原 ] guess who passed biology?[ ✉ → 海原 ] gonna take you up on burning the books, let’s do it!!!!!!

“$” for an ACCIDENTAL text.

[ ✉ → 海原 ] oh if forgot to mention today i met a patient who knew japanese!!! it was mrs. lee, the one who took mr. patterson’s room when he got better? her japanese was a little spotty, but it’s her THIRD language, and i was so thrilled to talk all day with her without having to translate in my head![ ✉ → 海原 ] ask her about her sons next time you see her, she has hilarious stories about them! [ ✉ → 海原 ] kali, i’m sorry for spamming your phone! those were meant for emma and i accidentally clicked on our chat thread instead!

[bxxmer]

✆✉☎⁇ø✘@♀

“✆” for a MORNING text. 

[ ✉ → 火気 ] wake up and smell the tulips!!![ ✉ → 火気 ] really, wake up and smell the tulips outside your window![ ✉ → 火気 ] pluck some to give to whoever you’re taking out next!

“✉” for a text that WASN’T SENT. 

[ ✉ { drafted under } 火気 ] so i did take the fall for niisan but he has never apologized to me. or said anything about that night or what i’ve done. has never asked about sarac or wondered why i was never home often when the headmaster still had us by the throats during the summer. he never asks me to do anything anymore so i guess that’s good. but you always say you’re sorry. you always ask how i’m doing. you always do more after all this time.

“☎” for a RUSHED text.

[ ✉ → 火気 ] millicent just “asked” me to be her plus one to something and she’s having the suit delivered to the place????[ ✉ → 火気 ] i can’t remember ever wearing a suit in my entire life[ ✉ → 火気 ] what is she having me do??? what do you do at these things????

“⁇” for a DRUNK text.

[ ✉ → 火気 ] fund mor sake in home stash!!![ ✉ → 火気 ] shuldn b drnkin much but i wnt to!!!!!!![ ✉ → 火気 ] u wnt som?????????

“ø” for a LATE NIGHT text.

[ ✉ → 火気 ] don’t want to spook you but i’m going to sit with you for a bit[ ✉ → 火気 ] well looks like i might spook you bc you must have your phone off so you won’t see my warning until too late

“✘” for a HATEFUL text.

[ ✉ → 火気 ] if you’re going to stay away for days on end then just LEAVE bc i’m sick of this back and forth and thinking when you’re HERE you regret choosing us so if you’re debating leaving then just DO IT ALREADY [ ✉ → 火気 ] stop giving me hope 

“@” for a SCARED text.

[ ✉ → 火気 ] i received a call from some collector demanding so much money[ ✉ → 火気 ] he knows my name and screamed at me and i couldn’t say anything[ ✉ → 火気 ] niisan probably gave him my number 

“♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text. 

[ ✉ → 火気 ] i don’t want to hate niisan[ ✉ → 火気 ] which is fucked up because if i hate myself i should want to hate him[ ✉ → 火気 ] but i don’t [ ✉ → 火気 ] but i still feel sick anyways[ ✉ → 火気 ] idk idk idk idk idk idk idk

[bxxmer]

#✉@&ツ%♀⁇

“#” for a RANDOM text.

[ ✉ → 首領 ] すぐに日本語で応答するようにしてみてください

“✉” for a text that WASN’T SENT. 

[ ✉ { drafted under } 首領 ] you and darius keep thinking about how i’m better off without the two of you (which shows on your face) because you both think i’m better? brighter? than you two and i don’t understand it. just because i went to sarac to save niisan doesn’t make me better and sometimes i wish i could tell you everything but bile fills my throat whenever i think of home and niisan and what we did to survive. and maybe it’s me being selfish and not wanting you to think less of me, which makes this all ironic, huh? 

“@” for a SCARED text.

[ ✉ → 首領 ] i can’t heal okāsan[ ✉ → 首領 ] no matter what i do she continues to wilt and she’ll wither away to dust and i don’t know what to DO why aren’t my powers working[ ✉ → 首領 ] she’s going to die soon i can feel it why can’t i heal her

“&” for a LOVING text.

[ ✉ → 首領 ] no matter what you tell yourself, tonight went well, and it went well because you’re a great leader. [ ✉ → 首領 ]  you’re amazing at what you do and we’re a damn good team BECAUSE of you[ ✉ → 首領 ] i’m always inspired by you.[ ✉ → 首領 ] so don’t worry and overthink anything and get some rest!

“ツ” for an EXCITED text.

[ ✉ → 首領 ] Darius and I created another cool thing!!!![ ✉ → 首領 ] It combines our powers again, it’s not only effective BUT SO COOL!!!!![ ✉ → 首領 ] ARE YOU GETTING THAT WE WANT TO SHOW YOU ARE YOU OUT OF CLASS YET WHERE ARE YOU????

“%” for a CURIOUS text.

[ ✉ → 首領 ] hypothetically, what are our chances of being the victor in a fight between us and everyone else in the U program?[ ✉ → 首領 ] i’m thinking the number might be low, but what do you think???

“♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text. 

[ ✉ → 首領 ] stop protecting me like i’m a child with no sense of this world[ ✉ → 首領 ] you have no fucking right. you’ve never had a fucking right.

“⁇” for a DRUNK text.

[ ✉ → 首領 ] u knw aftr dizzi drinkg is sooooooooooooooooooooo fun!!!!![ ✉ → 首領 ] evry1 is fUNNY ud lagh at then i KNOQ it

[bxxmer]

☎#@%$

“☎” for a RUSHED text. 

[ ✉ → 狼 ] I STILL THINK IT’S STUPID THEY WANT US TO USE OUR PHONES FOR THIS MISSION BUT[ ✉ → 狼 ] WHAT A RUSH YOU WERE AWESOME

“#” for a RANDOM text.

[ ✉ → 狼 ] listen idk what’s going on, it’s not really my place, but if those hoity-toity shoes i saw under niamh’s bed are actually yours, you better not hurt her ever. and don’t roll your eyes because you have little clue what i’m capable of. so just don’t.

“@” for a SCARED text.

[ ✉ → 狼 ] don’t do anything stupid[ ✉ → 狼 ] don’t do anything where you think you deserve the consequences

“%” for a CURIOUS text.

[ ✉ → 狼 ] i heard through the grapevine you might speak different languages?[ ✉ → 狼 ] idk just a rumor swirling around the girls on campus[ ✉ → 狼 ] but i was wondering if that was true?[ ✉ → 狼 ] and if it is, if one of the languages is japanese?

“$” for an ACCIDENTAL text.

[ ✉ → 狼 ] okay, but i learned there are these type of frogs that fill their bodies with this antifreeze thing they make themselves AND ARE PRACTICALLY DEAD FOR THE WINTER until one random day in spring they discharge another solution within to DEFROST THEMSELVES and within hours THEY ARE LIVING AND BREATHING biology is so cool.[ ✉ → 狼 ] please disregard

[bxxmer]

✉, ☎, @, &, $,

“✉” for a text that WASN’T SENT.

[ ✉ { drafted under } 陽光 ❂ ] emma you are so bright, and when i’m around you it’s like something is lifted off my chest. it’s like my world isn’t muted anymore. and sometimes i don’t understand how you can’t see the world as a mix of light and dark, and sometimes i’m scared you will ONE day, but for right now, i wish all the time i could see the world as you do. i wish i could pour my soul into second chances and laughter and love as readily as you do. and the best thing is i feel like my wish could come true whenever i’m near you. and it’s the greatest feeling.

“☎” for a RUSHED text.

[ ✉ → 陽光 ❂ ] RITA S HAS A NE W FLAVOR I’M GOING N OW MMET U THRE!!!!

“@” for a SCARED text.

[ ✉ → 陽光 ❂ ] not to freak you out but buttercup wants to murder me[ ✉ → 陽光 ❂ ] pls hide me all i said was that niamh deserved to be the best at aikido!!!

“&” for a LOVING text.

[ ✉ → 陽光 ❂ ] thank you for listening today, emma[ ✉ → 陽光 ❂ ] i honestly can’t remember past the snot whether i thanked you earlier, but even if i did, i want to say it again.[ ✉ → 陽光 ❂ ] thank you for being there and thank you for being a part of my life. i don’t think words can convey how happy i am we met 

“$” for an ACCIDENTAL text.

[ ✉ → 陽光 ❂ ] okay do we really want to revisit my powers working like that, because i could go without being scarred over what i can do[ ✉ → 陽光 ❂ ] uhhhhhh emma pls disregard, darius and samson and i aren’t talking about anything bad i swear

[deerpao]

[shoujomangacapss]

[bxxmer]

millicent-duvall:

“OF COURSE there is,” millicent gave a quick glance at his outfit, sighing  d r a m a t i c a l l y  afterwards. she then forced a smile, kind enough to trick someone who didn’t know how [ vindictive ]  she really was. “i’ll make a call to have a suit ready for you when we get there.”

his brows rose in shock, and he had a feeling this would be a regular occurrence through the night. with the only excuse his racing thoughts could produce perfectly solved and discarded, he cleared his throat.

( idly, he wondered what it was like to have so much money that a suit for a stranger could be prepared and delivered in so little time. idly, he wondered what it would be like if he was the person making those calls. ) 

“then that fixes....that. so, ah, i would be honored to be a plus one to your event tonight.” it wasn’t like he was going anywhere --- not really. and this could bring some excitement --- if he wasn’t abandoned when they arrived to the venue.

[bxxmer]

augustuswindsors:

     GLANCING DOWN AT the length of his body that was clad in not a suit but a full-on tuxedo ( bowtie and all ), Augustus couldn’t even be bothered to feign a look of surprise as well as he returned the other’s look. “No, I’m just out for a casual stroll ‘s all.” Way to tone down the sarcasm, Augustus.

With lips pressing together, Ryoji managed to hum in response. Idiotic questions weren’t useful --- of everything he learned years and years ago, that lesson should have stuck with him. 

“Then I must be incredibly underdressed, even for such a casual night,” he managed to say, though his quip sounded more chipper than sarcastic. Which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but had its obvious downfalls. “Hope that stroll goes well and all.”

[bxxmer]

kalifatale:

He’d been arrested the same day she and the others. She remembered how surprised she had been that he had been singled out along with the rest of them – he didn't seem like the kind to get dragged into anything serious. Kali had been utterly clueless to how far deep Ryoji had gotten into the dark underbelly of Sarac’s society. He always seemed out of place and it just made her even more curious.

Knowing what she did now, having looked at all the files of the members of the new U Program, it made sense. Not his ever being at Sarac – that was still something that boggled her mind – but the fact that she was still living. Kali should have bled out that fateful night all those years ago when she was stupid and slightly less experienced than she was now. The fact that he had miraculously healed her had always sparked her curiosity and she was now aware of the fact that he had healing abilities. He had chosen to use them on her a complete and total stranger. Then there was the way he stared at her whenever they met; as if there was a question on the tip of his tongue waiting to be dropped. He’d still to ask and Kali wasn’t about to go volunteering any information just like that.

She snorted at the insinuation that’d she be doing anything remotely helpful for a professor of any sort. “I’d more likely be the one tossing those assignments into a shredder,” Kali said with a nod towards all the papers scattered about the table. She could never understand the people who put so much emphasis on drinking in the words from a page just to regurgitate them back out a few weeks later and claiming they had gained any actual knowledge from any of it.  “Why are you even here at this hour? Is all this work really that important to you?” 

For a flicker of a moment, he wondered what would happen if he cut through the entanglement of this attempt at small-talk and bluntly asked if it was an often occasion, her bleeding dry. If what it took for an answer was him being direct instead of gently prodding or outright avoiding.

And then he imagined the shut-down and maybe, just maybe, some yelling on her end. It was an assumption of her reaction, but he wasn’t really in a position to take a chance at it being true just now.

                                              ( general attempt at small-talk it is! )

"Ah, well --- that’s one way to let the professor know how ridiculous their assignment is,” he says, pursing his lips as his gaze followed hers to his papers. With twitching fingers, he started straightening them, suddenly taken with the idea that maybe he should be a little more organized with his stuff. 

Gaze flicking back to Kali at her question, he took a few moments to snag an answer from the constant battle of whether working --- whether being here --- was or wasn’t important ( and worth it ). “Kind of? This stuff is kind of important to me. Because I’m kind of seeing this as a new start and I want to try and work hard to feel --- a sense of pride after years of not feeling it at Sarac.” Swallowing, he slowly added, “But it does sometimes feel --- pointless, doing so much work, especially when it’s like I’m so far behind. Still, it’s this or jail, and I would rather suffer through this than the latter option.”

[bxxmer]

caellumadriendarcy:

“Well, I’m following you out the door, as you can see,” Caellum turned around, putting his finger print (the lock and key system was too old for him, and only a print sensitive one would suit his standards), to the small metal disk on the door, hearing the lock slide shut from inside. “My legs cramp up easily if I sit down for too long. What are we going to do tonight?”

A cheeky smile flashed at his roommate before brows rose yet again at the intricate system Caellum developed for himself. Truly, Ryoji would never N O T be surprised at the intelligence Caellum possessed, and how a print-sensitive lock was only one of numerous things his roommate could accomplish in what seemed like natural ease.

Quickly, Ryoji composed himself, shrugging at the question. “Honestly, I didn’t really have a destination in mind.” 

               ( well, well, you’ve become better at lying, his brother's voice                     echoes in his head. what happened to a new start? )

Swallowing, he quickly adds, “I ended up skipping dinner though, so I feel as if my stomach will guide me to food no matter where we go. So, uh, have any good recommendations?”

[bxxmer]

dariusfierro:

The boy took the other’s response quite straight-forwardly – seeing as he too often wandered the street aimlessly before he’d accidentally cause trouble, and make bad decisions, whether he’s under the influence of alcohol or blue tic-tacs, or not. If he was speaking to Samson, it’d be a whole different story; his brows would raise in a questioning manner, and he would entertain the younger boy till he turn the tables right back around, questioning him yet again; purely because Samson was not the type who wouldn’t plan ahead. He always got a plan and Darius knows him well enough.

“Let’s hang then,” Darius suggested, cocking his brows while his lips curved into a cheeky grin; one which promised unforgettable memories that are bound to be created throughout the night spent with Darius. He placed an arm around the younger boy’s shoulder casually after he grabbed his skateboard off from the floor from where his foot kicked it up. “Let’s bond.”

He didn’t know whether he should be relieved that Darius took his response at face value. It was probably for the better Darius did, for did he really want to divulge how ridiculous it was he wanted to see the people who left him behind bars so easily?

             ( but it was HIS CHOICE and he shouldn’t blame them.                    the consequences were his to bear because of HIS CHOICE.               so maybe it wasn’t so fucked up he wanted to see the people of his past )

When the weight of Darius’ arm rested upon his shoulders, it pulled Ryoji from the darkened parts of his thoughts. A smile plucked at his lips, and the nod he gave was small, but belied enough of the excitement slowly building. "Is this bonding experience going to have us running from the cops?” he asked, more teasing that serious ( but honestly, there was a high chance of that happening, so maybe he should have channeled samson and been a bit more serious in asking??? ).

[bxxmer]

emma-utonium:

“Yay!” Emma seated herself and began arranging her own things about the table, careful to give Ryoji plenty of room to do his own work. “I know what you mean,” she began chattering, “I’m the same way! It’s just so much easier to focus when someone is focusing with you. Plus, it makes for really convenient study breaks.” She giggled, already looking forward to distracting Ryoji whenever she got bored of reading about human anatomy — which would be quite frequently, without a doubt. She almost felt bad for him, knowing how little work he would get done when she was around.

But only almost.

She grabbed her Human Anatomy textbook and held it up in front of her face. “I’m doing my assigned reading,” Emma announced in a grave, robotic voice. A laugh bubbled out of her while Emma set the textbook down and flipped to the correct page. “What about you, Ryo?”

“Mmmm, of course, you can’t really call them study breaks unless you’re interacting with someone else,” he said before trying --- and only somewhat failing -- to cover a chuckle. He held the notion that it was absolutely possible he wouldn’t complete as much work as he had planned with Emma around ---- but that was okay. It was always okay when it meant his day was brightened by her presence.

Snorting at the monotony of such a robotic voice, Ryoji tapped the end of his pencil against his notebook. “What a superb assignment,” he comments, face unexpressive and voice almost as uppity grave. “As for me, I have the pleasure of reviewing and answering biology questions about our delightful eco-system. Insightful information right here, I say, very eye-opening.” The last sentence dropped the droning tone he had taken upon, lilting upward in slight excitement instead. He might not enjoy taking exams on the information, but the wonders of biology were completely awe-inspiring, and he could listen to them all day if he didn’t have other courses and training to attend.

[bxxmer]

adautonium:

He was different from the other two, Ada thought to herself. Ryoji almost seemed too nice to had been on the same team as Samson and Darius, but appearances could be deceiving. For all she knew, he could be worse than the other two combined. She knew enough about Poison Ivy to recognize the potential threat Ryoji posed with his powers which made her even more weary of him. 

“Rough week ?” Ada asked out of politeness, choosing not to  move from her spot near the bookshelf. If Emma was here, she would had scorned her for not being more amiable with Ryoji, but it was difficult to forget and just move on from the history between the teams. Ada could hear Emma’s voice in her head telling her to make more of an effort though and was willing to try for her sister’s sake. 

She recognized one of the open textbooks on the table, “Just a tip, but for Professor Darling’s class, you would be better off just reading the textbook powerpoints instead of the text. It’ll save you time and she tends to use the practice questions from the powerpoints in her exams.” 

“Ah, yeah, you could say that.” More like rough weeks. He did really love that he was learning --- but he did feel as if, after so long in rotting hell, he was better at listening to lectures than taking quizzes and exams on the information provided. Really, it was all truly fascinating --- just not when he had to recall it for a grade.

Yet he wanted to do well here. He had to do well for the headmaster ( who knew nothing of their lives, not one damn bit ) not to breathe fire upon him, but he desired to return to the days a circle around a B brought so much pride.

Chewing his bottom lip, brows rose at the sound of advice, and he quickly searched for the textbook he would want to certainly close forever. “Thank you so much for telling me! I’ll definitely review the powerpoints and the practice questions way more intensely.” With a broad smile, he looked back to Ada. “Really, thank you. That’s one class I don’t have to fret over as much, and it’s a huge relief.”

[bxxmer]

augustuswindsors:

     SCHOOL WAS, ESSENTIALLY, a walk in a fucking park for augustus — even as prestigious bellum was, the workload assigned to the students was merely minuscule to the additional teachings and lessons about quantum physics and the string theory he so amusingly took under his wing. Homework hardly allotted for a substantial amount of time in his schedule, and with so much excess left to work with ( mostly due to the fact he was kept on a tight leash at the hands of the headmistress ), he found himself, surprisingly, at a loss of what to occupy himself with for the time being. 

( And, even more oddly enough, he wasn’t all that keen in bedding someone at the moment — I mean, it was the middle of the day, for god’s sake: what kind of dog did you think he was? )

Thus, his slight predicament led him to the library of the institute, strolling through the books that lined the endless rows of shelves to discover whether or not the limited variety of novels could actually pique his interest … or, until he found an unsuspecting target peer just begging for him to give him company.

“Aw, c’mon — I’m not that evil,” Augustus sarcastically remarked as he sorted himself down in a chair across from the other male, taking it upon himself to slide the sheets that lay at the hands of the brunette to himself for a better look of what he was working on. He hummed to himself, skimming through the scratched-on answers before a curt ‘ tsk ‘ escaped his lips. “All your answers are wrong — wait, scratch that. All but two of your answers are wrong.”

Yet you’re still evil.

It was a thought too quick to stop when Ryoji recognized who approached him. Honestly, though there was possible truth to the statement, it wasn’t as if there was a clear line between evil and good; there were so many blurred and faded ones, and areas where the two extremes where so blended there could not be a possible definition of either. To make assumptions -- to be prejudiced --- was ridiculous of him.

                ( anyone could have been in that hell of the school for the same reason he was                       and anyone could have been there for good reason )

Licking his lips, Ryoji straightened, working his expression to --- something that didn’t show dismay and annoyance at the way Augustus was reviewing his work. “Well, at least two answers correct are better than none.” All that time, and there were really only two correct? Really??? “Would you please point to the ones that were wrong?”