hi

you and me let's add drive me mad hold me sad yet color me glad for all we had because maybe we're all not that bad

[byriodael]

I get stupid jealous of other writers

Jealously is stupid in that way

Uneasy unreasonable unfair

I peel away negative thoughts

Just to find more

when will the jealousy stop

Stop I ask

Stop I cry

My mind is a devout hater

I dream of better days where I’m better adjusted

Or I could just be a better writer

[byriodael]

Moon & Me

The light that guides me

A shining beacon

until I feel the darkness

Choke me

A ring around

My face

Tender is the light

Within the depth dark space

But even when the Moon

Is New

is also engulfed by the darkness

-byriodael

[byriodael]

fall in love

you give away a piece of yourself…

A piece of your heart

Of your soul

Of your being

Why else do most people go back to their ex?

—to get back that piece of themselves

But you can’t get back what you gave!

That’s why the best breakups are when you let go

You move on

You grow

You fill that missing piece with something

With someone

With anything

New

But

I find myself ever mourning the lost pieces

always a gift giver myself

Can I give

Until there’s nothing left

Ever mourning

I will always give

Unspool a thread

And tug at my heart string

Till I unravel

-by riodael

[byriodael]

Sometimes I wish

I was a Virgin again

That my body is something

Special once more

Everytime feels like I’m losing something special anyways

Like I’m losing it all over again

Maybe I lose pieces of myself everytime

-byriodael

[byriodael]

I am like the wind

Caress and cover your skin

Roaring in your ears

Inside you, Your lungs

Your blood, Oxygenated by me

I am everywhere

Always there

Give in to me, love

You can’t live without me

Love, I am ever present

-by riodael

[byriodael]

I love to sing

She loves to listen

I’m not very good I say

I love your voice says she

But it’s not very good I say

Oh it’s very good says she

Stop it I refuse to sing I say

But you can’t help it says she

I’m just not good I say

Oh but I think you are says she

Sing to me she says

It’ll be our secret she says

I’m the only one who thinks you’re good

Is what she doesn’t say

-byriodael

[animentality]

[byriodael]

I am roadkill

 A soft animal existing in a man-made world

Traveling across a road not meant for me

An unforeseen accident to me

A seen accident to all who pass by

As blood drips, spills, and pours out

As I die and I tire

I am run through by heavy tires

My body spread like jam across the gravel

Delicious delicious jam

-byriodael



[byriodael]

She kisses the horizon good night

Rays of sunshine on a beautiful face

I linger on the lengthening of silhouettes

While she radiates, permeates

Warm of a thousand sets of suns

Sucking energy and turning to darkness

I linger close to feed off her warmth

It’s only natural

She the flame

and

I the flicker

She the sun

and

I the shadow

-byriodael

[byriodael]

A willing fool recognizable in the mirror

Guard down, might as well drown

They say

Tracing tears in places where there are no eyes

Maybe he didn’t hear my cries

They say

Is horror contained in the soul or the mind

No it wasn’t like that, actually he was very kind

They say

The same conversation a thousand times

Countless circles of girls

Excusing their crimes

They lie so

So you do as they say

And lie too

-byriodael

[byriodael]

I’d rather spend eternity in Hell with you

Than one second in Heaven alone

Or rather I’ll exist in Hell alone

While you reside in Heaven

Persecuted

I rest in the thought of you

At peace

-byriodael

[byriodael]

If the eyes are the windows to the soul

Then the mouth is the door

An entrance to tentatively enter

A warm welcome into your hearth

A home I will forever want to linger

Invite me over

I’ll bring the wine

And a decanter

You’ll ask if I can stay the night

I’ll say well since you’ve be so

Nice

You ask if we can go to my place

Next time

I make up some excuse

So I may not unlock my door

Unshutter my windows

-byriodael

[byriodael]

I thought you were the moon

So luminous

So bright

It was humbling

To realize

You were merely a street lamp

Ashamed

I still glowed under your light

-byriodael

[byriodael]

I seek a cure for Loneliness

Cure me of this affliction

I feel it blacken at my finger tips

Like frost bite I must chop at

The useless bits of me

What is there left

If not nothing

Nothing at all

Unfortunately, I cannot cure it on my own

I would’ve

I would’ve if I could’ve

-byriodael

[byriodael]

My mother once

In anger

Tore at my hair

Dragged me down to my knees

My cries ignored

Eyes to the ceiling

Unshed tears and

Unheard pleas

I wonder now

With my hair cut short

If it was for me

The gendered glees

Or for you

So the length

Never tempts you

To hurt as you please

-byriodael

[byriodael]

When I was in middle school, 12 years old and in 7th grade, I remember picking up my off-yellow tray of lunch from the cafeteria and heading to a perfect shady spot under a tree in the middle of our school’s large courtyard. It was a bright and sunny day, I remember even how the air was light with the promise of summer approaching. When suddenly, the school alarm system went off. Teachers slammed open their doors.

The deafening bangs of doors hitting the walls reverberated across the space spooking the kids out of their lunchtime lazy haze. Every teacher was screaming at all the kids to run! GET INSIDE! Someone with a gun is on school property. Lunchtime, I realize, is the worst time for a school shooting to happen. We were all out in the open. A scattering of targets to pick off in an open field.

I stood there confused and paralyzed. I was unsure if I should bring my lunch with me or if I should leave it on the bench. I eventually decided to hold on to it. Only a handful of kids were still running when I finally decided to run. A thought crossed my mind: I was one of the last ones left out in the open. I wasn’t running in any particular direction either. I desperately looked around and saw my Art teacher screaming at me to run inside.

I’d never heard her yell like that, her voice resonated with deep fear and fierce protection. I ran in carrying my off-yellow lunch tray. My classmates and I sat on the floor, huddled together for three hours, hoping the protection of our desks would be enough.

I heard later on that someone robbed the Church’s Chicken next door at gunpoint. The cops came and the robber jumped the fence to our school and ran throughout the campus as the cops were chasing him. It was kind of funny as a kid. Someone tried robbing the chicken joint next door??? It’s funny!!… But sometimes when I sit under a shady tree, I still remember running. Sometimes when I hear a school bell ring, I still remember the sound of the blaring alarms. Most times when I hear about a shooting in America, I always remember the fear.

-byriodael

[byriodael]

Beggars in every society, community, and nation are left completely under the heel of those above them. That was the day she learned begging will only ever leave scorched imprints of their heels. Her soul was laid vulnerable to be violently branded by shame. So the promise of retribution grows like a cancer and takes root at the center of her being.

-byriodael