[rocktheholygrail]

The Vampire Lestat (2026) Hannibal (2013-2015)

[themysteriousmurasamecastle]

[transmechanicus]

6 hour workday maximum i’m not kidding, if it can’t be done in that timeframe it doesn’t need doing.

[vmprblood]

this doesn't apply to jobs like childcare

[transmechanicus]

If i worked in childcare and my 6 hours were up i would start putting babies in ziploc bags and shipping them to Turkmenistan listed as endangered fruits and vegetables

[boringkate]

You wanna log in? What's your username? No. What's your email address? What's your password? What code did we just send to your email address? Now what code did we just text to you? New IP address detected. We sent you an email. Click the link to confirm the new address. Scan your fingerprint. Turn on your camera for age verification. Sign the updated user agreement. Accept all cookies? That feature isn't available on the website. Download the app. Those features are in the app. The app that's really a web browser.

[herpsandbirds]

[fairycosmos]

t shirt that just says WHATEVER YOU’RE READING INTO MY FACIAL EXPRESSIONS AND BODY LANGUAGE YOU’RE MISINTERPRETING

[thalassata]

[bleekay]

[ozempicofficial]

[doggirl-girlcock]

My cringe fucking baby and her derivative drivel

[rioblitzle]

i go to the shop and I ask if they have any raspberries. they say no, they used to sell raspberries, but they haven't had any in stock in the last 15 years. I ask if there's somewhere else I can go to buy raspberries. They say no, with confidence and pride, they're the only shop around who has ever sold or will ever sell raspberries. Other shops might sell other fruit, sure, but they have a monopoly on all raspberries forever. I ask if they're possibly planning on them selling them again in future? they say they can't tell me that.

on the way home, I encounter someone eating raspberries. I ask and they tell me that they grow their own, they got some seeds from the shop back in The Raspberry Days and kept them. They take me to a field of many beautiful raspberry plants and invite me to pick my own, they're free for all the town to pick whenever they'd like.

someone comes up behind us. It's the shop manager, President of Nintendo Shuntaro Furukawa. he hatefully throws a bob-omb that blows up and kills both of us instantly for stealing 200 trillion dollars worth of potential Raspberry Shop That Doesn't Do Raspberries Anymore profits that they weren't making and then he turns around to the camera with a big thumbs up and says don't do piracy or something ok please

[excuse-me-thanks]

“i should take a walk for my mental health” boring, tired, i don’t even really wanna do it tbh

“i need to check the perimeter” i need to check the perimeter

[fuck-customers]

[shadow-banned-the-hedgehog]

[vergak]

Zillow house listings

[aaays-and-bees]

>go right

[vergak]

[giugirl743]

>go left instead (looks nice and fun!)

[vergak]

[bunjywunjy]

>...go back to the right

[vergak]

[muhlisss]

Go left

[vergak]

[muhlisss]

Go forward

[vergak]

[squirrledworld]

> Ascend

[vergak]

[jpuff9]

Go right ->

[vergak]

[athena-viviana]

Open the door! :3c

I wanna see what’s inside!

[vergak]

Congratulations! You Have Made It To The Ping Pong Chamber!

[sceptixfakemon]

this heatwave fucking sucks how am I going to serve my liege like this

[animusrox]

No one: Tumblr gif makers: *downloads a 70GB video file just to make one gifset of some blorbo that’ll only get 120 notes*

[theprimememeister]

[rhymewithrachel]

watching twilight and I keep making myself laugh imagining if it was just alucard or any other vampire instead of Edward. POV nausferatu goes to ur school