Letters Unsent.

By Letter writer.

[bytheletterwriter]

Letter 36

Dear Reader,

[ 1:30 AM ]

[ 30th June 2021 ]

[ 26°C, Mostly Cloudy ]

The girl I was telling you about vanished. I mean I did have a fight with her and blocked her and then after 3 days she and her friends never came online it's going to be almost 12 days that she didn't show up online. Her friends and she work in so much co-ordination.

Today is 30th June the last day I can call myself a 23 year old. I want to go somewhere and shout at the top of my lungs 'I AM 23 YEARS OLD'. I kind of feel bad for growing old but then I remind myself everyone is also getting older along with me.

I swear I was 21 just yesterday but then the pandemic happened and within a day I'm turning 24 and I think I know nothing. I really wish I could go to a different country like Japan or Korea or literally any where. I wish I could wear what I liked or go where I wanted. I wish I could just do things without having to ask permission all the time.

I really want to do something with my life but then I also want to sit at home and read or write to you or just write in general. I am scared I am wasting my life away. Do you ever feel the same?

I hope you are doing fine. I will write to you soon.

Also happy pride.

I am 23 years old. I am 23 years old. I am 23 years old. I am 23 years old.

I also wanted to add this music that I made. Please do listen to it.

Your 23 year old friend,

The Letter Writer.

[bytheletterwriter]

Letter 35

Dear Reader,

[ 11:33 AM ]

[ 14 May 2021 ]

[  34°C, Mostly cloudy ]

Hello. I know it's been a while but I too don't know where I have been. In 2020 lockdown I gained and lost so many things, It's actually hard to list.

I got into BL shows. Even though I read lots of LGBTQ books and watched a few animes, 2020 was the year I really fell into the rabbit hole. With Thai BL's to Chinese dramas that touch slightly upon BL content. It was a whole new world for me.

The lockdown made me lazy, over thing, frustrated, anxious, sleep a lot but mostly I think the most irritating thing is we are actually fighting a pandemic. Things were getting better at the end of 2020 but again in 2021 my country had a whole second wave that things again went into lockdown. The second lockdown is eating away at me. However, I understand it's for the safety of our people. We can't be careless. Especially when Carelessness has brought us to this in the first place.

It's been half a year I haven't written to you. I hope you're doing well. Your physical and mental health matters. Please stay safe.

I sleep at 4am maybe 5am sometimes. I make music that even I don't like.

Today seems to be a very odd day. I don't know why. Things are happening that don't make sense. Nice things. Nice things scare me because it don't last for long and nice things happening means bad events are not too far away lingering in the dark.

I might write to you in two days again telling you what are all the good things that happened and then what bad events followed them.

This month has been such ups and downs for me. I almost got into an online relationship with a girl who I later found out was not that--umm nice. I don't know what to believe honestly. Just yesterday and day before yesterday I was in this slump that made me not want to eat and I just wanted to sleep my time away. I'm feeling better now.

I want to tell you in detail about how I almost got into this really confusing, toxic relationship but in a different letter. I am always scared my letter will become too long and boring.

I will write to you soon. MAYBE.

Your Moonchild,

The Letter Writer.

[ 12:30 PM ]

[bytheletterwriter]

LETTER 34

Dear Mom,

[ 7:07 PM ]

[ 06 October 2020 ]

[  28°C, Partly cloudy ]

Why this cage? Why this toxic? I am human and so are you. So why don’t you just accept that we both mistakes?

I have no voice. I have no life. I stay in a comfortable cage. You say I can’t do this. You say I can’t do that. I know you don’t like me. I know you don’t like it when I say things bluntly out on your face. I know you absolutely hate it when I tell you that you are wrong. You like it when people side with you even when you’re wrong and that’s why you like my sister more than me. 

You don’t say it but you like my sister more than me. That is no secret. This is something I have known like forever. Thing is that I don’t feel bad about it anymore. I have made peace with that.

You humiliate me when I do something. Honestly, I think you somehow like it when I mess up because that makes you feel slightly superior. You like it when I come to you for help not because you want to help me but because that makes your ego bigger. 

You make me defenseless only to show me that you can protect me. My sister turned out to be the person you love cause you made her that way. She changes sides and speaks behind you but she shows a clean face to you and you are a fool to believe her, but only time will tell. I am the black sheep of my family and I know that. You always think I talk back. I never do it when you’re right but now I am starting to not like you because I am starting to see who you really are. 

That cute voice you have when you’re speaking to an outsider irritates me. 

My sister does not dare to say anything to you. She has fear in her eyes when she talks to you and you love it. You like her being under you but you couldn’t do that with me. So you hate me. 

I remember when I was 17 I tried running away and now I know why. I wanted to free myself from these very chains that held me back.

Even now I am in that cage that you so carefully built for me. If I somehow try breaking free you will emotionally blackmail me. You will say I stayed with you when I needed you but now I am done using your money so I’m leaving you. Truth is that you think people like you cause you have money. You’re not very different from your family that you hate so much. If I told you this you would turn into the witch you are. 

Yes, there were days I was dependent on you, but I was a child. You always give me your example and say with your nose so high ‘No one can ever be like me’ in my head I always laugh and say ‘I would never want to be like you’. 

You’re not bad but you’re someone I don’t like. Yes, you fought your life out but you fought so hard that all you do now is think people can’t do what you did. 

Mom, I love you but I have to break free or I will die in this cage.

Please let me live,

Your Black Sheep daughter.

[bytheletterwriter]

Letter 33

Dear Reader,

[ 9:22 PM ]

[ 04 August 2020 ]

[  28°C, Partly cloudy ]

Hello. I have written with so less time gap and that’s because I have a reason.

I want to say that I am grateful for being safe. Just recently I came across a video on YouTube that spoke about weird videos on the internet and if that didn’t disturb me enough I read though the comments section how most of the people went on to the dark web and saw weird things.

I tried doing a little research about what people saw on the dark web and it upset me to say the least. I was terrified seeing people talking about how they came across a site on the dark web that gave instructions on how to cook human meat. The person said that there were very specific details on how to cook which part of the body and which age range were the tastiest and how to keep the victim alive long enough to have fresh meat. Some people also said how they came across videos on children being raped and molested and animals being skinned alive or boiled in hot water also an instruction manual on how to cut off a persons hands and legs and still keep him/her alive only to use him as a sex doll, like a living sex doll and also cut off the tongue so the person does not scream for help.

It reminded me how safe I am. I don’t know what will happen in the future but I am safe now, with my family around me, with my friends texting me, with a shelter and food and that’s what matters. I think we all must think about this and be thankful. 

Only reading about it made me lose sleep and look at every person with suspicion, I don’t even want to think about going on to the dark web and watching any of those things and being a witness to any of this can be so terrifying and the victims are experiencing a whole other level of dreadfulness. I just say a silent prayer for anyone who is going though this only cause a crazy person crossed paths with you.

Like imagine you have a neighbor who you think is not anything out of the ordinary and then one night you hear a faint scream and try to investigate where it came from and then see that in your neighbors basement there are people with hands and legs cut off or maybe human flesh boiling in a pot or something.

Let us all realize that there are crazy people out there and if you see anyone alone or just about any person you can help don’t think twice. It might be scary but these Psychopaths like to attack people when they are alone, a group can scare them away. You can actually save someone’s life. Also, let’s not forget to be grateful for living in a safe environment, for our parents who see that our surroundings are safe and give us everything we want.

Your grateful friend,

The Letter Writer.

[ 10:13 PM ]

[bytheletterwriter]

Letter 32

Dear Reader,

[ 7:07 PM ]

[ 22 August 2020 ]

[  27°C, Haze ]

I want to finish a ‘letter 100′ mark by the end of this year. I have not been busy but I have been lazy. 

I want to move to Japan. I don’t know why. I just kind of love that country but mostly, just want to move. The language will be a barrier but that is not an excuse to not move to another country. My mom can’t stay a minute alone. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because of what she’s gone through in her life. I sometimes want to be alone. Live alone but then I think it’s not as easy as I think it is. If I leave my family here to settle down in a different country that I so badly want to go to, even though I start out with a happy mindset, and break the news to my family that I want to go. I am more than sure they will emotionally blackmail me into staying back or making me believe that I am making a mistake. What’s worse is that I might cave in. 

I have a love hate relationship with my mom. She loves me a lot and has given me more than what I needed but honestly I feel like I am in her grip. I don’t fight with her because she will only throw on my face all the things she did for me. She is a nice person, I don’t want to paint her in an all bad light but she likes taking control and all decisions should be made only after she has approved. My wanting to move to Japan [or any other country] will bring out the worst in her cause when ever she talks about the future she says you will work here and buy a house here, but I don’t want to live here. I want to live somewhere else. 

I have a friend who’s father and brother both work abroad and she and her mother live together, but she went to a college far away and has to live on the campus and even though her mother has to live alone she was more than willing to send her child away for her happiness and growth, something my mom will never do. However, sometimes my mom has the anger of just keeping silent and letting things happen and escalate to the point that it can harm her. Like her keeping quiet can harm her health because of all the stress and then I know everyone will side eye me making it look like I let this happen and I am inconsiderate. But, doesn’t my happiness matter? I sometimes want to ask my mom ‘How long will you keep me under you?’ She loves me but if I ask her for something that she thinks will be making me less dependent on her or making me slightly get out of her grip she does not like it, I can see it in her face.

Am I being selfish in wanting to move to a different country? Sometimes I tell myself that, I am being stupid in wanting this. I can be happy here too, but I have too dull a life and want to experience something new cause life is short and we will never have enough time to do all the things we want. If I tell my mom this she will think I am mad, cause for her happiness is getting a job, buying a house, getting married to someone nice and then you are a certified happy person in her eyes. If a person has all these and still unhappy she will think you are being greedy in wanting more than what you have.

I’m not hurting anyone, or am I? I am very conflicted.

I don’t want to make this letter just about me but I already have. So, I am sorry. I really wanted to talk to you but I started writing and just could not stop myself. 

How are you? How has this long fight against the pandemic changed you? Have you taken time out to process things. How has your life changed since the lockdown?

Your Conflicted friend, 

The Letter Writer.

[ 7:50 PM ]

[sexceptionul]

I’ve seen a lot of posts on my dash tonight about users who are threatening suicide, with other Tumblr members posting in effort to try to get ahold of them. I think you all should see this:

IF THERE IS EVER A TUMBLR USER WHO HAS POSTED A GOOD-BYE MESSAGE, SUICIDE NOTE, VIDEO, OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT, PLEASE FOLLOW THIS POST.

1. Scroll to the top of your dashboard.

2. See the circular question mark icon at the top? It’s the third one over from your home symbol. Click on that, and a screen similar to the one in the picture will come up.

3. Where you can type in questions, the box with the magnifying glass at the top, type in the word “suicide.”

4. Click on the first link that shows up. It should say, “Pass the URL of the blog on to us.”

5. Type in the user’s URL and tell Tumblr admin that the user is contemplating suicide and has posted a message indicating that they are going through with it or will be attempting. Hit send! Tumblr administration will perform a number of actions to contact the user and take the necessary steps to prevent the suicide.

TUMBLR: THIS COULD SAVE A USER’S LIFE. PLEASE DO NOT IGNORE SUICIDE THREATS.

Reblog this to keep other users aware. Suicide isn’t a joke, and neither is someone’s life. If you didn’t know this, someone else may not, either. Pass it on.

This post is old, but you are STILL ABLE TO GET AHOLD OF TUMBLR STAFF in an emergency: this just happened to me recently. All you have to do is email [email protected] and they will handle the situation for you. Thanks for passing this along, guys!! xo Kate

[missiur]

Reblog if you’d be okay if your friend came out as transgender

let’s see how many transphobics we can weed out

[iland-debutation]

!!

[inaccurate-enhypen]

it’s okay if you come out trans, i’ll give you a hand uwu

[bytheletterwriter]

♥

[bytheletterwriter]

Letter 31

Dear Reader,

[ 2:24 am ]

[02 May 2020 ]

[  28°C Clear ]

How are you? Bored? I am bored too. The only thing that is scaring me is the lack of productivity. I try and study and maybe just sleep. I know I didn’t write to you for a long time and It has been a month or more but I didn’t forget you. 

I still haven’t found a secret friend. Maybe people will think I am crazy if i just call them in the middle of the night and tell them to hang out with me on a rooftop and listen to music. 

I am into painting and bullet journaling but not much because it takes a lot of time and effort. What’s worse is that I end up making some mistakes and even though the mistakes are small my eyes only go there and it irritates me. Makes me wanna tear the page.

I want to watch some really nice show but after watching Haunting Of Hill House about a year ago my standards have risen and I just can’t find anything even remotely similar to it.

I hope you have been resting during the lockdown. I want you to stay healthy and even if you are ill with the virus now I just want you to know that it will be okay. You’re strong and you can get over it. Just don’t lose hope.

My health seems to be fine. I am happy about it. I don’t exert myself too much maybe that’s why. However, I do want to believe that it actually is fine and I am doing fine. Even if nothing is fine let’s just pretend everything is.

You and I are happy and I am here and you are there we can do this! Life is going to be hash but if you need someone you should know I am here. I log into my account everyday without fail so you can text me or send me an anonymous message and I will be there to listen to you.

I am also taking extra care of my skin. We have one face, one body and it is our responsibility to take care of it.

I know I didn’t write a lot but I just wanted to remind you I exist and I am here!

Your forgetful friend,

The Letter Writer.

[ 2:38 am ]

[bytheletterwriter]

Letter 30

Dear Reader,

[ 8:36 pm ]

[7th March 2020 ]

[  26°C Haze ]

Hello. Reader. Hi. Nice to be seeing you again.

There are times when you’re happy and then there are times that you feel like the world is on your shoulders and it’s dragging you down with all the weight it has. 

These days I don’t have any place to be or anything to do. Everything is one big blur. I feel nothing really needs me or would stop functioning if i’m not around. I look about and I know many people love me but not too much that if I’m gone their life would stop. They would just notice i’m gone but nothing too deep.

I want to be something more than just an entity. I look at my mother and wonder if I disappoint her more than she lets on. I know i’m not the better child and not even remotely close to being a good person. I know I deject her a lot because to be truly honest, I disappoint myself too much for even words to describe. When I disappoint myself so much I can only imagine how much I must be upsetting her on a daily basis. 

How are you? If you need me talk to me. Say hi.

I hope you don’t feel the same disappointment as me. I know you don’t. but just in case you do then I want to tell you that, It’ll be better, I guess. That’s what everyone tells me. 

It’s getting warmer here. Hot actually. In the mornings it’s cold though.

I have seen dreams but all of them are too vague and don’t make sense. However I see that I’m in big houses with fireplaces and carpeted floors with many rooms that are lavishly decorated and staircases leading to God knows where. Every dream is a different house and all of them are beautiful and big. Nothing other than that.

I have to start studying seriously and maybe sleep less. I sleep too much.

This is a picture I took. I think the angle looks great.

Your Sleepy Friend,

The Letter Writer.

[ 8:54 PM ]

[bytheletterwriter]

Letter 29

Dear Reader,

[ 6.31 PM ]

[13th Feb 2020 ]

[  27°C Clear ]

Hi. One day I will be writing the 100th letter to you. I don’t exactly know when but I sure will. I just pray I don’t feel too embarrassed about this and delete the entire thing because I do that a lot. 

Sometimes I wanna be free and do a face-reveal but then there is some spice in being hidden and seeing who likes you without actually having to see your face.

Btw, How are you? I’m fine and I hope you are too. Do you ever just look at posts on the Internet like ‘I sleep all day’ or ‘All I do is sleep’ and feel relatable to them but then sometimes I doubt people really do sleep all day because everyone is up and about all the time. I’ve never met one single person who loves to stay indoors. Is it just my bad luck or people really just lying that they love staying at home? but I get it even if you do love staying at home there is no other choice than to go out because, you know ‘LIFE’.

Tomorrow is Valentines Day and I don’t know why I’m saying this but hey! if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend then Happy Valentines day and if you don’t have anyone then you have me! just send me a text saying Hi and I will be happy to just talk. I have a tab on my blog that says ‘Ask Me Anything’ so if you don’t wanna reveal yourself just go anonymous and send me something nice there. We can just, you know, Talk?

I just don’t want you to feel lonely. That’s it. Talking about lonely I still haven’t found a  mid-night-star-gazing-music-listening friend so I don’t know. I want to just like go out for a walk with someone? I mean I have friends and my family but something like a walk late at night when everything is calm and quiet and you just sitting on a park bench talking about some random thing that interests you.

I will write to you soon. Maybe tomorrow? Maybe tonight again? Maybe after a month?

Your Lazy friend,

The Letter Writer.

[ 6:49 PM ]

[bytheletterwriter]

Letter 28

Dear Reader,

[ 1:57 PM ]

[17th January 2020 ]

[  29°C Partly Cloudy ]

I have been really bad to you and I apologize. It’s just that I have been lost. I am not making it up. Please don’t think this is an excuse because it’s not. I really just felt lost. I slept for so long and didn’t get up for anything except if I was forced.

I mostly feel lonely. So many people around me but so lonely? How? I sound ungrateful I have my mom who sees to everything and my family who does everything for me but then why am I like this? I honestly don’t know what I am doing anymore. You must be thinking that I am always unhappy and ranting. See, that’s why I was scared to write to you because maybe I will be writing just another sad letter to you. 

I just want to write something happy to you. I don’t always want to be crying to you.I am so attached to imaginary things. Things that don’t exist. It’s like I have it and don’t. I just want something to be constant. There are so many nice things to see everywhere but why am I not able to see it? Why am I always seeing the glass half empty? Everything just looks so distanced, so far.

I’m so selfish and I always want more and it’s like a kid who just wants what it wants and when I realize I can’t get it, it just makes me hurt so bad. Honestly I I don’t even know what I want. I am just grabbing things in the dark. I really don’t seem to find anything?

I am pouring my heart out to you because people around me see me as a happy and smiling person. I don’t want that image to crack. 

I still haven’t found a secret mid-night-star-gazing friend.

I’ve seen some weird dreams but there seems to be no meaning in them. 

How are you? I hope you’re not feeling lost.

I edited a sky image and made it purple also added a little outline here and there and made the before and after as a gif also, I know I’m late but happy new year.

Your lost friend,

The Letter Writer.

[ 2:40 pm ]

[bytheletterwriter]

Letter 27

Dear Reader,

[ 10:28 AM ]

[ 8th November 2019 ]

[  28°C Fog ]

How are you? I am writing to you after a long time. It’s the first thing I’m doing in the morning after a workout, a shower and some breakfast. 

There was a man who sold newspaper whose name I never learned or never had the chance of asking. I was 6 when I would try crossing a very busy road but it scared me, so he would help me. I was walking by the same road yesterday and suddenly remembered him. He doesn’t sit there anymore. I wonder where he is. Where ever he is, I just wanna say Thank you. 

Reader, Did you do anything for Halloween? Here, in my country we don’t do anything. I feel like doing something too.

I met my friend a few days ago. Our friendship didn’t change. I guess you’re never completely happy in your life, we just have to find happiness. Happiness in having a cup of coffee. Happiness in having friends. Happiness in getting home and listening to the song that was playing all day on your mind. Happiness in realizing that you can sleep for another hour. Happiness when you’ exams are finally over.

What are your views on seeing a huge fire breathing dragon in your dream? I sometimes google it but these sites have no fixed meaning of seeing a dragon or any other thing/creature/animal in your dream. There start out with saying “People believe it is good” and also by the end of their post they say “People also believe that it can bring bad luck”. So many beliefs by so many people.

I again saw the orange haired boy in another of my dream but this time he was happy also it was just a glimpse. He was not the main subject of my dream. 

Reader, I am disappointed in myself. I still haven’t been able to find a midnight-rooftop-together-music-listening friend. How difficult is it to find one?

How is school/college/office? Are you taking time out for yourself? Are you taking too much time out for yourself and not getting anything done? Have you done anything crazy lately? Don’t do something that would get you in trouble. 

I know it’s lame but I just wanna say that you have a fiend in me. If there is literally no one you can talk to; then I’m here and if you want to hid your identity then you can send me a message anonymously. 

Your ‘Friend’,

The Letter Writer.

[ 11:10 AM ]

[bytheletterwriter]

Letter 26

Dear Reader,

[7:41 PM]

[24th October 2019]

[ 24°C Fog ]

Hi. How are you? I’ve been fine, just busy with college and in a constant struggle of sleeping and waking up and trying to be productive. I have been very upset these days. My mom is not well, also there is something that troubles her. I had tears in my eyes when I was in class, it just doesn’t feel right when something happens to my mom. My mom thinks I feel nothing because I never show her this emotional, over-thinking side of mine. I don’t like anyone knowing that I get upset over almost nothing. It’s tiring when people look at you like “Don’t tell her anything or she’ll cry”.

I cried during the first 15 minutes of the animated movie ‘Up’, the story of Carl and Ellie was not only beautiful but it also hit me that love that pure doesn’t exist anymore. Now, I know that I, on several occasions have made it clear that I don’t believe in love but the affection showed in those 15 minutes of the movie in between two human beings is rare. A lifelong relationship of understanding and respect is unusual in this age of break-up and misunderstandings.I realized that finding something like that or something even close to it is almost next to impossible. But, don’t lose hope who knows you might find someone someday who can be your Carl or Ellie.  

What do you do to keep yourself awake and running? Music, coffee, exerciser? I sleep really late. Night is a great time to be awake. Something about the moon is so powerful, beautiful and mysterious.

There is a guy in my class who looks like a singer. I would tell him that but he is super stuck up and only talks to one boy. He’s not bad though. I can’t judge him cause I don’t know him. I look at him and laugh at how he doesn’t know he looks like someone famous, but the thing is I wonder if someone looked at me and thought “Woah! She looks like XX” and then wasn’t able to come up to me and tell me that I look like someone they know. 

Will we ever be able to talk? Will we be able to ever get to know each other better?

I painted this long ago and saw it in my book and thought I would share it with you.

Your upset friend,

The Letter Writer.

[bytheletterwriter]

Letter 25

Dear Reader,

[8:43 PM]

[18th October 2019]

[ 24°C Fog ]

I’m back! How are you? These days I’ve been feeling so sleepy. I sleep and wake up sleepy. Now I’m better.

I waste a lot of time and so I made a to-do list. You are on that list too. I might write to you more frequently. I hope.

The weather here is unpredictable. Just when the sun comes out it starts raining at the same time but there are no rainbows.

I didn’t see any weird dreams except for I was at an airport and the lights went out and I kept running around the place and enjoyed it because no one could see me acting crazy. There was one weird thing about this dream and that is, by the end of the dream I realized that it was after all a dream! I mean when we have dreams we don’t know it’s a dream and so when I realized it was a dream I began singing in the dark and everyone turned on their phone torches and seemed to enjoy my singing. Did I tell you I sing? Yes, I do. One thing you got to know about me is that I sing, but since I am an introvert I rarely dared to sing in front of the others so the first thing that came to my mind was to sing because even if I do make a mistake I would be embarrassed but only in my dream. It’s called lucid dreaming. I found out from the internet. When you’re dreaming and you know you’re dreaming.

I know it’s an old song but Girl Crush by Little Big Town is a song which makes you think something else of it at first but then you realize it’s actually something else. If you haven’t listened to it then please do.

I had this question to ask you, Which language do you speak and how many languages do you know? English is obviously one of them, because you read my letters.

Reader, I am here and you are probably are at another side of the world I know I can’t do much but I wish that I at least can help you a little, even if it is an inch worth of happiness but wait, happiness can’ be measured but you know what I mean. I just want to be that person to you where you read my letters to know I am here. Talk to me. Please.

The doodle I shared today is as mentioned in the picture ‘The worst I’ve done so far’. Nothing about it stands out but I want to share something with you only in hopes to form a nice bond with you.

Your listener,

The Letter Writer.

[bytheletterwriter]

Letter 24

Dear Reader,

[6:29 PM]

[11th October 2019]

[ 24°C Mostly Cloudy ]

Hi, I’m back and it’s raining, like, every 2 hours it just starts pouring. The rain is nice and all but it gets gloomy. I want to read a nice book but I haven’t been able to find a really nice book. I’ve read many books in my life but there is just one that comes to mind “The Song Of Achilles”. Something so different about that book! I am usually a very time conscious person but when I read that book I stayed up all night and didn’t even think about the time once. The emotions are so well expressed and deep. The way the author describes the boy in the book makes me fall in love with him. I guess that is the magic of a book, it takes you to some place that you can keep revisiting only when you read it.

About my dream, you remember I previously wrote about seeing a boy in my dream, orange hair, White shirt. I saw him again. What’s weird is that every time I see him, my dreams are exceptionally long and vivid. Like, I remember things he wears and all the other small details. 

The dream starts with me coming out of my house and walking down the street, and I see him [again with orange hair] at a gate of one of the houses that’s on the street that I’m walking on. He hops on my back and I carry him in piggy-back form and walk down the road. I keep walking for quite sometime and later I realize that he actually fell asleep on my back but I keep walking, It seems like hours and It soon becomes dark, the sun is setting and I finally reach some place and put him down. He wakes up and in that place there are a lot of people but my eyes follow only him.

Do you ever keep seeing one person over and over again in your dreams?

I have been drawing a lot lately. If you draw I want to see some of your art.

Every time I tell you about my dreams I feel very guilty because it’s just one random story thrown in between a letter. A letter that should actually be about you and me. 

I want to listen to the most weird dream you had or about any dream you had in general. I want to know a book you like so I can read it too. I might feel connected to you, at least by a book or a dream or a song? Maybe.

I wanted to share a picture of my hand. Don’t worry I cut my nails. They aren’t as long anymore. I didn’t want to share another drawing and bore you.

I will definitely share something better next time. Maybe a video or a nice picture of the sky?

Your Talkative Friend,

The Letter Writer.

[7:56 PM ]

[bytheletterwriter]

Letter 23

Dear Reader,

[7:30 PM]

[05th October 2019]

[ 24°C Light Drizzle ]

Today I am sharing a doodle that I sketched and then painted, it is a sticker called Cosmic Man. This doodle is just like me and the dream I have, to be listening to music and looking at the stars, lost in a world of my own. But there is one thing missing in this doodle and that is the ‘one special friend’. I purposely only sketched one astronaut and not two because this doodle represents my life that still hasn’t found that one person. When I find that special friend I will sketch a new doodle with two astronauts sitting on the moon.  

That day I missed my first class because of you and promised you that I would be come back and tell you if I faced any fire for it, but fortunately I didn’t face any heat for it. It was an okay day. I don’t have college till 13th of October. Just pray that I don’t waste my time just staring at my phone or sleeping.

How have you been? I have been well. 

Sometimes do you ever just look at some really old pictures of yourself and think what it might feel like to go back in time and relive everything and do something different and maybe you won’t end up being where you are right now? I do all the time. 

I promised myself to grow my hair out. I always liked short hair but my mother somehow hates it when I chop it and so I promised myself to not touch the scissors for the next 6 months, just for my mom.

Talking about promises, I have to tell you that I am absolutely the worst at fulfilling a promise. Either I just end up not caring or just forget about it all together.

Reader, I am lucky to have you. Someone who reads my boring letters. I try to think of things to write to you. I think of writing to you everyday but then blame my laziness. 

Your Lazy fiend,

The Letter Writer,

[ 7:47 PM ]

[bytheletterwriter]

Letter 22

Dear Reader,

[10:12 AM]

[20th September 2019]

[ 26°C Haze]

First of all, GOOD MORNING! This is the first thing I thought of doing.I woke up and thought I must write to you and here I am.

So I walk back home from college everyday but yesterday it was raining, like super heavy and everyone was waiting for the rain to stop but I thought “Fuck It!” and just walked out there. You know Reader. sometimes small things like feeling the rain against your skin makes you feel happier instantly. It was nothing just the rain hitting my face. My makeup was washing off, my hair was wet, my clothes were sticking to my body but I felt only happier with every passing instant, there was something in the rain yesterday. Who ever is watching over us from behind those clouds knew I was not happy and so he mixed a bit of happiness and love in the rain and sent it down. Sounds weird but I’d like to believe that things will be fine. With you, with me, with us. 

Reader today I missed my first class just to write to you. I hope my little stunt of missing my first and probably my second class will not have bad consequences. If it does, in some way I will come running back to you crying to tell you about it so we can share my sadness

I am hoping you’re in a joyful mood like me. If you aren’t, then tell me about, we can talk and make things feel lighter. I didn’t have any weird dreams yesterday or the day before, for which I am thankful. 

I wish someday you will write back to me. Reader, we have so much to talk about. I am gonna keep writing to you. Slowly you will realize that I might not be the best but at least good enough. That’s what I wanna be good enough.

This letter is the worst one I have written to you but somehow if you made it till the end then I think you must really like me to read such long boring paragraphs about me feeling happy by getting wet in the rain like a total child. I advice you to do something that makes you feel like an 8 year old again. 

Your Childish PenPal,

The Letter Writer.

[10:42 AM]