[meanplastic]

[thebootydiaries]

person: [about to shoot me]

me: wait wait hold on a sec

person: NO I'M GONNA KILL YOU

me: I KNOW BRUH ok just hold on [grabs phone] just gimme one sec okay okay okay [looks through music, presses play]

person: is this.... mmm whatcha say?

me: shoot me now. i'm ready. i'm at peace.

[the-burrito]

[conbiniiko]

*walks into starbucks* lemme get uh spaghetti bolognese macchiato

“sir we don’t serve that”

don’t bullshit me i saw the secret menu on instagram

[collegiate-confession]

[unspecifiedbitchdisease]

someone: heres a mild criticism on something that u like

me: oh so u want me to die then

[tornpyre-deactivated20191208]

yall ever sleep from 1700-2200 and call it a nap bc

[crawled-out-of-hell]

At first I thought this was the fucking years 1700-2200 and it was still a fucking mood

[stonedbabyygirl]

drink some water you beautiful and capable but dehydrated bitch

[artactually]

It's really not that hard to tell actors from their characters

Like, this is Loki

And this is Tom. They have different colored hair.

This is Castiel

And this is Misha. They wear different clothes.

This is Tony Stark

And this is Robert Downey Jr. They have different names.

Simple

[anarchopuppy]

Actually, don’t forget that Tony Stark is about half a foot taller. RDJ is a tiny tiny man and it’s hilarious.

[ten-thousand-bees]

This is Tony Stark

And this is Robert Downey Jr.

[monker4444]

never clicked the reblog button as fast as this.

[cryingblogger]

ignoring men is self care

[retcum-deactivated20160403]

me: *writes 1 line of code for my theme*

[bahookies]

bye

[famousest-deactivated20210114]

[whatsliferotfl]

[thebootydiaries]

Me when I was little: when I grow up im gonna have lots of friends and ill love them all lots!!!

Me now: *sees best friend* who the FUCK put this disgusting radish in my line of sight i am going to f i g h t

[peachnim]

me: so white peop-

white: *is already crying*

[thebootydiaries]

Me in the Hunger Games: What's the wifi code for this arena?