[memewhore]

[toastbutteregg]

[memewhore]

[noahnomore]

[beemovieerotica]

omg so we have 1 seeing dog and 1 blind dog and whenever there's a toy they both want, the seeing dog takes it and just...stands very still. immobile. she KNOWS he will try to wrestle it from her but she has figured out that if she does not squeak it, then he will not find it. leading to this.

"god....grant me the strength to not squeak the squeaky toy"

[the-worm-man]

[funnytwittertweets]

[baddadjokez]

We have two unwritten rules here:

1.

2.

[suazu]

[thepersonalquotes]

[steamywitch]

[faewaren]

Nicknames: when you shorten someone’s name affectionately

Nicholasnames: when you elongate someone’s name affectionately

[gallusrostromegalus]

Nichard names: when you incorrectly elongate someone's name for humorous effect.

[spacehunter-m]

shaggy’s got a fucking gun!!!

[sailor-rinn]

as you wish

[liquidchocolatecake]

equivalent exchange

[king-monky]

thanks keyboard, when I accidentally typed hest instead of best I totally wanted the hest (norwegian word for horse) emoji

[lilium-orientalis-deactivated20]

It can happen to the

of us

[miiilowo]

shoutout to that one time i scrolled past chainmail at like 2-3 am as a kid and immediately heard an insanely loud thud outside. put the fear of god in me

[miiilowo]

hi chloe. it was very well-timed snow falling off the roof right after i scrolled past an image that said “if you dont repost this in 20 seconds he will be outside your window (png of a monster)”. once in a lifetime experience

[meltymoths]

Ah you see I thought you meant chainmail as in armor. My mistake

[miiilowo]

knight materializes outside of my house to beat the everloving shit out of 11 yr old me

[miiilowo]

[robomartyr]

This is the funniest thing I have ever seen. If I were a professor I would pin this to my office door.

[zanabism-deactivated20200529]

LMAO

[nitewrighter]

There were like 30 seconds where I was like, “Ah the joke is that Orcas are technically the largest member of the oceanic dolphin family–this is a joke about the whale making false claims about its whale heritage on an admissions form, hence why its lawyer is also a dolphin.” And then I realized, “Oh. KILLER whale.”

[zorasalazars-remade]

Hey just asking, I know youre genderfluid but are you also trans since you use the he pronoun? I'm transphobic and just wanted to get clarification if I should follow you?

this is THE funniest fucking ask ive ever gotten. oh my god

[carazelaya]