lifehack: believe this

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@cafegogh
lifehack: believe this
i know that this may be hard to believe, but:
you are not a burden
you deserve happiness
you deserve to be listened to
you are so strong
you are kind
you are amazing
your situation right now is not your forever
it’s going to get better
your best is good enough
you are good enough
you are beautiful
you deserve to live your best life
you’re working so hard
you’ve gotten through everything that has been thrown at you so far; you can get through this too
you are worth so much
you are wonderful
you can choose positivity
your past does not define you
your mistakes do not define you
your grades and achievements do not define you
your mental health does not define you
your struggles do not define you
it’s never too late to try again
it’s never too late to start
you are cared for
you are valued
you are so important
i am so proud of you
you’re going to be okay
a little gif I just made ♡
read the rest of this useless nonsense of a comic here
psa for college freshman
hey, whats up, hello! so you’re gonna be a freshman and you’re probably moving in real soon, and you might be excited but also nervous, not to worry i got you! here are some tips and tricks and general advice based on my own experience.
okay so step by step:
MOVE IN
okay so this is easily the most stressful thing about the first week of school. you gotta get all of your stuff into a tiny dorm if it’s a big room i am literally so jealous my dorm was like a prison so don’t freak out, stay cool and pack efficiently!
try not to overpack, it’s really easy to believe you’ll need everything you’re bringing but trust me you won’t even look at half of it
a good tip for this is, if you don’t use it at home, don’t bring it to school! (plus it’s really easy to just buy stuff you need on amazon so don’t forget that that’s an option too)
if you’re going to a school that deals in snow, DON’T bring that stuff (jackets/hats/boots/etc) with you when you move in. if you know you’re going to go home for a weekend before the snow sets in, definitely leave it at home and bring it with you later!
let your parents/guardians/friends/family help you move in. it might not seem like a big deal, but letting them help you will make them feel better. and if you don’t like how they arrange things, let it be! you have all semester to rearrange and settle in, they only have this one day, so just let them have it! also don’t forget to thank them when they leave!
ROOMMATES
ah yes, the wonderful concepts of roommates. i was lucky my freshman year, but some people aren’t
try and connect with them via facebook/school emails/phone, settling things like are you gonna share a mini fridge, microwave, coffeemaker and how you’re gonna decorate (if you’re into that) will help when you finally settle into your room
definitely go over ground rules once you’re all unpacked and settled in. my dorm had us go over a list of questions, come to an agreement, and sign it in case there were any future conflicts. cover things like:
is it okay to have my friends sit at your desk or on your bed when you aren’t there?
how should we handle overnight guests?
do you want me to give you a heads up if i have friends coming over?
100% agree to give each other a heads up on parents coming to your room
sharing food?
cleaning responsibilities
definitely definitely give each other a copy of your class schedule, and if you have classes at the same time maybe you can agree to make sure you’re both awake at the right time!
you don’t have to be bff’s with your roommate, sometimes it turns out that way and sometimes it doesn’t. what you do need to be is open and honest with your roommate. your year will be miserable (especially if you can’t switch roommates) if you don’t communicate with each other. don’t be afraid to tell them if something is bothering you. if you’re to nervous to do that or don’t like confrontation, talk to your RA or RD
so now that we got all that out of the way, here are some general tips about social things:
that whole keep your door open and people will come talk to you think is a load of bs. me and my roommate did that for weeks and no one came in. everyone is just waiting for someone else to take that chance. so go into peoples rooms and ask them if they wanna grab lunch/dinner! walk around and poke your head in their room! it might be awkward as hell but at least you’re trying :)
go to all (or as many) dorm activities as you can! this allows you to meet more people too even if the event is really dumb, at least show up. you always have the option to leave!
go to club meetings! even if you aren’t sure you want to stay in the club. it’s much harder or maybe just more awkward to join when you’re an upperclassmen, so try and get those roots down as soon as you can
that being said, you can always leave a group without any hard feelings. people do it all the time, so don’t be scared that once you go to one meeting you’re stuck in the group forever
don’t let anyone tell you that as a freshman you can’t get involved. if you want to, you can. there is absolutely nothing stopping you. you might have to work a bit harder but i know you can do it!
sometimes freshman year can suck, or at least have it’s moments. don’t give up. everything gets infinitely better as time goes one, i promise. if you’re having a tough time or feel isolated or overwhelmed, reach out to someone, a parent, friends from home, an old teacher, anyone really! don’t give up, things might get tough, but you ARE strong and you WILL get through it
for wheat is wheat, even if people think it is a grass in the beginning — Vincent van Gogh
Your feelings are valid. You have every right to feel whatever emotion you want. You aren’t being dramatic. You aren’t over exaggerating. You’re simply feeling. And that’s okay.
How do you (“how does one”) shop for a therapist?
Can you call up a therapist and be like “hi, I’m therapist shopping”? Can you schedule an appointment with a therapist and then be like “actually I have some questions and I want to spend part of this appointment talking about your practice and whether or not it is garbage?”? Are you expected to phone interview/screen your therapists if you are shopping around for a therapist?
If you’re seeing one therapist are you supposed to/not supposed to tell them if you start seeing another therapist? Is it possible to cheat on your therapist?
I know this one! Or, at least, I know a way to do it, because I’ve done it.
1) When you call them up (or email them, which I prefer, because PHONE, EW), you ask if they’re taking new patients.
2) If they say yes, say something along the lines of “Great! I’m looking for a new therapist. Would it be possible for me to schedule an appointment so we can see whether we’d be a good fit for one another?”
IF THEY SAY NO, THEY DON’T DO ‘INTERVIEWS’: they’re a dick, you don’t want them anyway, don’t bother to make an appointment
3) Assuming everything is a go, head over to the appointment. Bring your notebook, pen, and questions. Also, if possible, have a very brief rundown prepared of what you’d like to accomplish with your therapy (or even what you think your biggest issues are).
4) Introduce yourself. Reiterate that you want to see if the two of you would be a good fit, so [a nice little social laugh or smile here, while holding up your notebook] you brought questions.
IF THEY DON’T LIKE THAT: they’re a dick, you don’t want them anyway, cut the meeting short
5) Give the rundown of what you want, what your issues are, whatever. See how they react.
IF YOU FEEL WEIRD AT ALL ABOUT THEM: they may not be a dick, but if you don’t feel comfortable with them, then it’s going to be a shit therapeutic relationship
6) Ask your questions — about their therapeutic approach, why they entered the field, whether they feel comfortable working with *your* needs (I, for instance, specifically told my awesome therapist that I needed her to tell me absolutely nothing about her personal life or experiences — as much as possible, I needed a blank wall to bounce things off of. It’s been years now, and I THINK she’s seen at least a couple of episodes of Doctor Who. I THINK. That’s all I’ve got. It’s amazing).
AGAIN, IF YOU FEEL WEIRD ABOUT THEM: go with your gut — your therapy is not the time or place to try and soldier through
7) By this point, you’ve probably hit the 45 minute mark, and you’ll know if you want to see this person again.
IF YES, say that this was a really great meeting, and you’d like to set up a regular appointment.
IF NO, say “Thanks for meeting with me.” If it wasn’t too terrible, feel free to add in whatever social niceties you want to lessen the blow (“I have appointments with a few other people, still, but thank you again!”), or you could just skedaddle as soon as possible.
IF YOU’RE NOT SURE, go a bit heavier with the social nicety: “I still have appointments with a few other people, but I really enjoyed our meeting. I’ll let you know as soon as possible if I’d like to schedule another one. Thanks again!”
Regarding current therapists: If they’re toxic, get rid of ‘em before you even start interviewing others. Nobody needs that kind of garbage. Otherwise, you could keep seeing them while you interview others, and then the second you find one you like (and you schedule your next appointment), get rid of your current one. You don’t have to say why — just say that you’d like to cancel future appointments. Do it over email, if you want. If you like them, you can tell them that you just need something different now, but that you “really appreciate all the work we’ve done together” or something. If you don’t like them, just cancel. They don’t need to know jack.
IF YOUR CURRENT THERAPIST SAYS SHIT ABOUT YOUR LEAVING — and I mean anything other than a positive hope for you in the future — then they were a dick and you were right to find someone else. Who needs passive-aggressive bullshit from a therapist? Nobody, that’s who.
So that’s my philosophy/style with regard to therapist shopping — I may be completely wrong, but it’s worked for me so far. Good luck!
This is really good advice
Yes, very good advice!
I needed this!! I recently moved and need to find a new therapist AND psych in my area. I was also super uncomfortable with my therapist, who literally said these words out loud from her mouth: “How do you know you’re pansexual if you’ve never had sex?”
nope bye
This is the advice I used when therapist shopping for my current therapist! I didn’t bring the notebook of questions cause there were a just a couple key things that I really wanted to make sure that were okay, but this gave me a good idea of what to look out for not related to the very specific stuff I was going to therapy for. But this guide is awesome.
I’ve never been so unafraid to see a therapist before I read this… I might give it a try.
also, sometimes it takes a couple sessions to see if you’re comfortable with a therapist!
coping mechanisms for anxiety
distract yourself with a show or a movie
hug or cuddle
take a shower or bath
make lists (of anything)
debate your irrational thoughts with logic
ask someone to talk about unrelated stuff
look at cute animals
talk it out
go for a bike ride
listen to music and focus on the lyrics
watch something funny
play games on your phone
take a nap
go for a walk
occupy your hands with anything
do some breathing exercises
I hope something unexpectedly good happens to you this week.
been drawing the Lessons I’ve been learning recently
PSA: YOU ARE LOVED AND YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE, ALWAYS
Helpful Links:
what is depression?
types of depression
types of bipolar disorders
psychotic depression
symptom checklist tool
what to expect: being screened for depression by a doc
common treatment options
treatment for bipolar disorders
can counselling actually help depression?
how does cognitive behavioral therapy help depression?
how to find a support group
what to expect during counseling or therapy
pros and cons of antidepressant medication
dysthymia self help
self help guide for depression
coping with depression in pregnancy
identifying barriers to recovery
17 foods to help fight depression
vitamin deficiency and depression
more depression self care
weekly self care checklist
emotion wheel
antidepressant skills workbook
beyondtheblues workbook for teens
coping with depression workbook
how to cope with overwhelming thoughts
6 self help and coping tips for depression
21 tips to keep your sh*t together when you’re depressed
Interactives:
audioentrainment
coffee shop sounds
depression recovery quotes
disgruntle me
disney and pixar movies
dwd: dealing with depression
emergency compliments
moodgym
nature sounds
need a hug?
neonflames
nowmattersnow
orisinal: cute free games
planetarium
rainymood
student stories
weavesilk art
Free Phone Apps:
breathe2relax: android + iphone
cbt self help guide: android
meditationoasis: android + iphone
mindshift: android + iphone
operation reach out: android + iphone
optimism: iphone
t2 mood tracker: android + iphone
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