DEMI LOVATO via TikTok
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DEMI LOVATO via TikTok
The way she tries so hard to be bold as her heavy head begins to fold. Face falling to the floor with all her other clothes. Funny how the bed feels so empty and cold, as they get up and go. You'd think the quiet would be soothing, but her thoughts are just too loud. She keeps it held inside, until she starts to cry. Weeping and weeping. As her tears dry, and the sun shines, she still feels as though she has to hide. From the thoughts of bleeding hearts and a mind full of wine. She buries it deep within the vine, until it's time to cry.
A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.
- Zen Shin
It's funny how her mind wanders endlessly, turning every page, not reading the numbers. Feeling caught in her own head, catching herself falling with each breath. Some days are sunshine and some are cloudy. Filling the emptiness with one night stands and apologies. Emotionless on the floor. Catching feelings left and right, wanting to hide from the light. It felt too bright, like she was being set on fire at the cast of dawn. She laughed here and there, maybe even breathlessly. But the days end brings another sorrow evening, lost in thoughts. Counting the time as each day comes and goes. Knowing she'll get there, finding that smile again, filled with so much hope. The hope she doesn't have to lose in herself, for a love. The hope that brings her happiness instead of heartbreak. The hope that ignites all of her dreams. She'll get there, one day — hopefully soon.
I guess this is one of those nights where I sit in silence, not complete silence, but enough to where you can hear your breath, softly above the air conditioner as it hums; ever so lightly stopping, as you suck in a breath, keeping back a tear from rolling down your cheek.
The mood swings, the hallowed out darkness beneath my feet; it all seems relative these days. Just casually knocking on my window, wanting to say hi as if it's a friend.
Even in the busy pace of working and talking to customers, the seconds between each rush is a quiet sad calm, rushing with thoughts.
Will this be forever? Will it stay and not let go?
Well, it's another day without you.
Another thought, another laugh, another cry, another goodbye;
I miss you — a lot.
The way you float into my mind during random times of the day normally takes me by surprise, but not anymore.
Some days I try to make sense of my feelings, but I usually give up,
Because how do you rationalize loving someone more than words, but have to end up walking away?
You have to grow from the inside out. None can teach you, none can make you spiritual. There is no other teacher but your own soul.
-Swami Vivekananda
So here lies the end.
The part where she has to stop and think about all she had given up,
The laughter, the tears, the joy and the years.
It all dried up eventually.
She thought she could help him see behind the black mask, the one that disfigured his perception,
He never really listened to her, because if he had, I'm sure she'd still be there.
Beside him throughout the sleepless nights and lazy mornings,
The rainy days and snuggle sessions,
The movie dates and the late nights.
He had it all, but his demons were too much to bare.
She wanted to be there through it all, through every broken puzzle piece, pushing it back together,
She broke herself, though,
More broken than she'd ever think to muster.
Funny how love works, right?
They say you'd never understand, but how could they? How could they love someone so much through a disease, that spits out everyone around them?
She says to him, "No, you don't understand," and she's right, he doesn't;
He'll never understand that type of pain,
That type of forgiveness,
That type of undying love.
Maybe one day, just maybe, he'll be lucky enough to love someone as much as she loved him.
“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”
— John 3:16 (KJV)
Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.
-Eckhart Tolle
1 Corinthians 13:4-10
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.
the end happened so quick,
the air escaped from her lungs, catching in her throat.
she knew it would come, but at that rate, she felt breathless, helpless;
it was pure, that type of love; ride or die,
but that's the funny thing about ride or die right?
it takes all of your soul, every piece, until there's nothing left;
nothing left except the slipped words off her lips as she said goodbye for the last time.
You deserve it 🩷
exactly
I love this 💗
i guess i haven't really thought about how i feel, or maybe i just don't want to face it. this last week has been crazy. broken pieces. shattered glass. an angel got it's wings. two hearts are broken.
i'm just wandering in the dark, following the distance light at the edge of the cliff. do i stand here? do i follow the light? will my tears help decide?
crazy to think, ya know? how so many years and laughs ended.
"but you chose it"
no, i didn't it. i didn't want to choose it. would you? if you felt like the world was on fire, and you were drowning trying to hold them up, would you still say the same?
i guess it's funny; that thing called love.
worthless? i'm not sure. just broken. empty. like the glass house is upside down.
the first purpose of being lovers is that you can find peace within each other. when you look at someone, you just calm down. like „finally i‘m in a safe place, finally this is a place where i‘ll be dignified, i won’t be humiliated, i won’t be reminded of past mistakes, i‘m completely at ease.“