um @calabrisellamia - Tumblr Blog

hungryfictions

george w. joy - joan of arc asleep (1895)

john everett millais - ophelia (1851-2)

#art #fav #joanie #me

catchymemes

tam--lin

In light of increasing anti-trans and anti-abortion laws in the United States, I am once again humbly requesting you inform yourself about jury nullification, your ability as a juror to vote against convicting people being prosecuted under unjust laws. Nullification was instrumental in legalizing abortion in Canada - it informed jurors can use it to help protect healthcare workers and protesters in the US, too.

thesituation

she/her? blocked and unfollowed.

what the hell

peach-paradox

astrodael

the idea that your friends won't like you if you're too weird is wrong you just need better friends for example one time I told a friend whenever I was losing my mind I laid down on the floor under my desk and stared at it until I was better and next time she visited me she taped a bag of salami snacks to the underside of my desk with a message saying "going insane all by yourself, handsome?" which I only saw months later when I had a breakdown. that's friendship.

mayharkness-deactivated20240125

i want a librarian gf, specifically her

classicrockcasualty-deactivated

dbssh

"you shouldnt expect a woman to tolerate being patient with misogynists" doesnt really apply if said misogynists are like 11 ans 12 year old boys are you guys fucking insane. those are children. you cant fucking treat children like theyre destined to grow into monsters thats not how combatting bigotry fucking works

dbssh

"was he radicalized by youtube or did he just suck" IF HE IS TWELVE THEN I AM INCLINED TO BLAME THE YOUTUBE TEE BEE AYCHE. you cant seriously be grown adults bitching about the emotional labor of talking to the 10 year olds in your life about misoginy like. would you rather leave his peers to deal with him? the little girls who are going to be the targets of this behaviour if it continues? or are you going to be the fucking adult and do what you can to work with these kids. little boys are not monsters and treating them like they have the misogynist male socialization plague is just going to make things worse.

hussyknee

criticalbread

#this is exactly how y'all sound#i remember way back when tumblr was still the seventh circle of social justice hell#one of the radfem leaning sjw blogs I followed (i mean it was 2016 tumblr they were all radfem leaning)#said that it was okay to bully white minors because they benefit socially by bullying their peers of colour#it was the wake up call for me to drop them like a hot chip#if you are only capable of seeing the world through the lens of privilege and oppression#and people according to systemic power and vulnerability#you then see the world the very same way the people you hate do#and you're reinforcing that worldview from your end#there is no compassion or ethics or integrity or – most importantly – any fucking use in your so-called ''social justice'' or ''activism''#if your minority trauma is more important to you than harm reduction and community building#then you are looking for healing in entirely the wrong place#western leftists#anti radfem#social justice#misandry#misogyny#knee of huss

derinthescarletpescatarian

These people aren’t looking for healing they’re looking for an excuse to bully someone else and feel moral about it.

baelpenrose

Legit there is not an insignificant portion of this site’s worst discourse that consists of “I want to hurt this person, how to I construe them as having more systemic power than me so I can be justified in hurting them.” When..? No?

Like okay. If you are an adult talking to a minor, you have significant systemic power over them, full stop. If you feel the need to take your trauma out on them rather than be the mature one or at worst just avoid them, you’re the abusive one/oppressive one, full stop.

Even in other circumstances, there is a considerable gap between personal power and systemic power, and if you feel the need to inflict pain on someone who has systemic power over you the first chance you get where they do not have the ability to retaliate - especially if it’s just some random who has never hurt you but who happens to belong to a more privileged group - you’re still a massive asshole for whom social justice is less about morals than it is about finding justifications to hurt people.

writing-with-olive

Something else I want to point out.

Say that you're on lunch break and in the breakroom everyone kinda splits off into two groups and they congregate on opposite sides of the room. When you walk in, one group keeps attacking you, telling you that you're awful and suck and the other group is like "nah dude you're chill here I got you." And it's always like that. Which group are you going to sit with every day for lunch?

Now expand that. In this hypothetical, you don't have anyone outside of these groups to really rely on, so it's not like you can just reject both and not suffer with loneliness. Besides, one group is actually pretty cool to you and makes you feel seen and heard and happy

This is what's going on. Most children are trying to find their place in the world, and most (if they've not been deeply traumatized) are going to be working to find people who love and care about them. So, if the people who are making them feel good about themselves are also the ones telling them that things generally seen as Not Great are actually acceptable, can we blame the kids?

"I personally attacked you, why aren't you on my side now?" Isn't the argument yall think it is.

The human brain doesn't fully develop until age 25. Most of the time, when teens or kids go down the wrong path, it's because they're looking for acceptance. If you want to win them over, start by making them feel seen and heard and validated for who they are, and don't assume that assumptions they've been given are who they are.

If you attack someone the best you will do is solidify for them that your opposition was right, that you're wrong, and that the safest thing to do is just keep quiet about it until the onslaught is over. There is no winning like this.

dbssh

"you shouldnt expect a woman to tolerate being patient with misogynists" doesnt really apply if said misogynists are like 11 ans 12 year old boys are you guys fucking insane. those are children. you cant fucking treat children like theyre destined to grow into monsters thats not how combatting bigotry fucking works

dbssh

"was he radicalized by youtube or did he just suck" IF HE IS TWELVE THEN I AM INCLINED TO BLAME THE YOUTUBE TEE BEE AYCHE. you cant seriously be grown adults bitching about the emotional labor of talking to the 10 year olds in your life about misoginy like. would you rather leave his peers to deal with him? the little girls who are going to be the targets of this behaviour if it continues? or are you going to be the fucking adult and do what you can to work with these kids. little boys are not monsters and treating them like they have the misogynist male socialization plague is just going to make things worse.

hussyknee

criticalbread

#this is exactly how y'all sound#i remember way back when tumblr was still the seventh circle of social justice hell#one of the radfem leaning sjw blogs I followed (i mean it was 2016 tumblr they were all radfem leaning)#said that it was okay to bully white minors because they benefit socially by bullying their peers of colour#it was the wake up call for me to drop them like a hot chip#if you are only capable of seeing the world through the lens of privilege and oppression#and people according to systemic power and vulnerability#you then see the world the very same way the people you hate do#and you're reinforcing that worldview from your end#there is no compassion or ethics or integrity or – most importantly – any fucking use in your so-called ''social justice'' or ''activism''#if your minority trauma is more important to you than harm reduction and community building#then you are looking for healing in entirely the wrong place#western leftists#anti radfem#social justice#misandry#misogyny#knee of huss

derinthescarletpescatarian

These people aren’t looking for healing they’re looking for an excuse to bully someone else and feel moral about it.

baelpenrose

Legit there is not an insignificant portion of this site’s worst discourse that consists of “I want to hurt this person, how to I construe them as having more systemic power than me so I can be justified in hurting them.” When..? No?

Like okay. If you are an adult talking to a minor, you have significant systemic power over them, full stop. If you feel the need to take your trauma out on them rather than be the mature one or at worst just avoid them, you’re the abusive one/oppressive one, full stop.

Even in other circumstances, there is a considerable gap between personal power and systemic power, and if you feel the need to inflict pain on someone who has systemic power over you the first chance you get where they do not have the ability to retaliate - especially if it’s just some random who has never hurt you but who happens to belong to a more privileged group - you’re still a massive asshole for whom social justice is less about morals than it is about finding justifications to hurt people.

writing-with-olive

Something else I want to point out.

Say that you're on lunch break and in the breakroom everyone kinda splits off into two groups and they congregate on opposite sides of the room. When you walk in, one group keeps attacking you, telling you that you're awful and suck and the other group is like "nah dude you're chill here I got you." And it's always like that. Which group are you going to sit with every day for lunch?

Now expand that. In this hypothetical, you don't have anyone outside of these groups to really rely on, so it's not like you can just reject both and not suffer with loneliness. Besides, one group is actually pretty cool to you and makes you feel seen and heard and happy

This is what's going on. Most children are trying to find their place in the world, and most (if they've not been deeply traumatized) are going to be working to find people who love and care about them. So, if the people who are making them feel good about themselves are also the ones telling them that things generally seen as Not Great are actually acceptable, can we blame the kids?

"I personally attacked you, why aren't you on my side now?" Isn't the argument yall think it is.

The human brain doesn't fully develop until age 25. Most of the time, when teens or kids go down the wrong path, it's because they're looking for acceptance. If you want to win them over, start by making them feel seen and heard and validated for who they are, and don't assume that assumptions they've been given are who they are.

If you attack someone the best you will do is solidify for them that your opposition was right, that you're wrong, and that the safest thing to do is just keep quiet about it until the onslaught is over. There is no winning like this.

twiddlebug

anyone else sick to death of that fucking elephant

custom-url

twiddlebug

he’s right behind me isn’t he

goatsorcery

im so done with seeing articles about kids and screen time that doesnt mention parent behaviors even once. “kids are always on their phones” so are the parents! which the kids look to for how they should behave! ipad babies didn’t chose to only play on their ipads, thats what their parents gave them!

an anecdotal example: when i was a kid, all my parents would do in their minimal free time was watch tv and then they would be surprised when in my sister and i’s minimal free time we would also only watch tv/play video games. they scolded us for not reading books, but they never read books. they scolded us for not going outside but they never went outside.

“kids are always on their damn phones” my mom is in her 60s and opens up candy crush anytime she’s sitting — it isnt just the kids