MAY THE DARKNESS DESERT YOU

"Great thoughts should be applied, not catalogued. The privilege of knowledge is to serve the message of life. Knowledge itself is no message at all. Left in charge, it will drive us mad." -Don Miguel Ruiz

[calamityk8]

[calamityk8]

First time back in the saddle since my Cody passed on Thanksgiving of 2019... this is Gordy, a lazy boy like Cody was, never picking up his feet.... at the end of the trail ride, I had him trot to the dismount arena, causing my pack leader to panic a minute. It was the best part of the ride! Honestly, I was just tired of staring at the back end of her horse! 🤣

[calamityk8]

If you have it—give it if you are water do what water does when the glass is full and someone wants a drink do not pretend to be sand—unable to help just so you can excuse the hoarding of your wealth be what you are—give what you have and here is a secret: give it all the volume of your true wealth has no limit it does not reside in a vault of brick or stone has no walls—floor—ceiling to contain it it sits in a shell-less gourd and replaces itself tenfold each time it pours out shatter your imagined container and find out what true richness is the form we obsess over is dung rolled by a beetle leave that to the beetle! loosen your purse see it filled with endless sun and burst into a thousand purses if you are water do what water does flow and end another's thirst.

[calamityk8]

Morty and Ziggy, circa 2021🤪

[calamityk8]

I've come to a decision. No more romances with anyone, I'm holding out for my love, the one I've always known. No offense to those that are perfectly wonderful, that treat me kindly, or make me laugh, or even make me feel truly loved... because there is always, will always be, and always has been... just one. And all i want is him. Please, please, find me soon, send him to me universe, like you sent me my morty. The nick of time has come round again and im so tired of yearning, of tending to the wound of this empty room in my heart waiting for him who lives there to finally come home to be at rest at last. So come home... it's always been you, and there will be no more to distract me. I can feel you, i know you're close, my love. And i will wait and look with open eyes for your homecoming brightening my horizons until the end of ages. ...

[ineffablefate]

if you learn to look for love from every angle you will begin to see the light of your own heart is beating in every stranger. that there is even in every devil a fire you know as familiar. the star-shadow of a fury to be known. every space between our storms denotes the sharp contrast of how your sky aches the same. blood burns the same. flesh soft the same.

[calamityk8]

Millie and Morty

[calamityk8]

Windy, and my mini donkey Roscoe, who is his seeing eye donkey. Windy is my age exactly. 37. Blind, deaf, and toothless. The sweetest animal ive ever met, besides my Morty🥰

[calamityk8]

My son is getting into drawing

[calamityk8]

"We are as a drunken spider

caught in a web of words it has itself woven

we see the light but as we move toward it

we are snared in words

we have chosen to define the light

we sense the light but cannot locate it

in the very same morass of words

we have been taught to explain the light

we cannot help but weave

a garment of words

as impulse of our existence

we are spiders born to weave

words to expel silken stories

from our soul

and frame this life in meaning

we fall into words

as a mastodon falls into tar pit

we cage ourselves in words j

Just as the convict merges

fearfully into the consistent walls of his cell

eventually abstaining from freedom

even when given the choice

to leave his prison

we are thirsty

for the assuring potion of certainty

so we drink our words

our world of words

ravenous and desperate

until—inebriated

on the fermentation of words

corked and kegged

bottled and bound

we pass

out into the oblivion of those

who have forgotten

that words are not the Truth

but the window

through which we may behold Truth

and that to reach Truth

and bathe in its light

we must leave the very dwelling

we erected to locate Truth in the first place

we must leave that dwelling

and muster the courage

to go naked into the desert

where Truth hums such a magnificent reverberation

it can never be saddled in word

and so we toil

our limbs caught in the web

adhesive

our great irony spilling before us by the moment:

gifted with words to cast light on our meaning those same word-web strands

are also a tar pit that if we are not mindful—heartful—

free

will claim us to be gazed upon

by future tourists

our bones pitched askew

in the mire

a species extinct

because it could not resist

the rich seduction

the persistent deceit

of words as

Truth itself

we bring this web into the world

its tensile structure lifting us closer into the light

and by breath of wind

also casting us in collective drift

away from the light

the blessing is this:

we can sober through practice

a practice of endless means

that reminds us of the true purpose of the web: as rampart to the light

and of the true nature of the web:

not as Truth itself

but as drumbeat of Truth

we are as that which is cold

toward what is warm

we are created to be drawn

toward the flame

our words can carry us a piece of the way

in the end—

to reside in Truth

we must take the fatal step in faith

and slough our membrane

of word and idea

and facing that awesome moment

of absolute nudity

as Divinity sheers our constructs

and floods our soul

we die beautifully

into the light

born at last

into the free sky

of illuminated life."

-Jaiya John

[calamityk8]

In my past with the ones i tried to settle down with, when push came to shove, i was always left in the lurch, searching for my partner everywhere and only abandoned to make my way onward, utterly alone. The best word to describe who i am and have become is this;"Hiraeth."...

Let's face it. Well there's no "let's," because there's no "us"but anyways.. I'm never going to make it. Not alone. And alone is sadly the only way i can be in this life, since not a person on earth seems to know how to not make someone they say they love feel like they'll never be good enough.. and how the fuck does a person learn to love themselves when they are bombarded with the idea from all around that they generally are just NOT ENOUGH?? OR TOO MUCH???...all I'm saying, in my usual selfish, annihilistic manner of course, is this;

I have nowhere to sleep.

I'll never know what home even feels like or what it means to actually have one-

I'm leaving this nightmare.

I can't anymore.

I just FUCKING CAN'T.

Goodbye.

I'm sorry.

[calamityk8]

[calamityk8]

[calamityk8]

There... better? 😆

[calamityk8]

[thoughtkick]

“Anybody can look at you. It’s quite rare to find someone who sees the same world you see.”

— John Green, Turtles All the Way Down

[calamityk8]

Self-Crime...

All crimes deemed as true or false,

Are in each case judged

By a panoptic State of Mind,

Honorable representation led by the

Head of Self,

For Ego’s abundance of Self-Crimes.

Self-Crime is codependent to harshest judgment,

Meted out by the Self most severe;

Self-Wrought Crime is against human nature,

And is governed by the cruel fuel of fear.

Collective experiences observed

Thus to me has well inward taught,

That all paths leading to success or destruction,

Can be led by one single thought.

And choices are minions to thought,

In desperation, I do seek to despise,

That, like stones, smooth and sleek, ‘cross Life’s waters,

Cast ripples that flow ever-wide…

[xoxohomeless-deactivated2022080]