Wake Up

Official public tumblr of the artist Caleb Quire. This tumblr with serve as a photography post mainly, but his other works will certainly pop up as well. Enjoy! 

[calebquire-blog]

A Second Americano & Half of a Bagel

There is a statue that reigns over the sea on a far off coast. This statue is familiar with the area having been transported to many different homes throughout its existence. After a rough year in the back of an ally with no sunlight and deep desperation for the acknowledgment and interactions from people of substance, this statue was taken. A local merchant wanted to borrow the statue for a grand opening for his new shop. Now resting close the sea the statue had a new role and found she enjoyed it very much. People passed by her and commented how beautiful she was, locals would come to the shop and always greet the statue while some artist even came to sketch and paint the way the light shone off her stone. 

A year passes and she has moved to the side of the cliff. She now overlooks the coast and all those from the town and sea can see her; and she gets to enjoy the ocean waves splashing up the cliff showering her with blissful water. She loves her new spot but she no longer shines for beauty. She's become so popular that the merchant started using her as a destination. The statue began to hold signs for offers and ads for other merchants, people would now sit while someone painted them next to her; the merchant tried to make money off her any chance he could. She doesn't mind the new difficulties because the merchant has given her such a great location and she feels valuable again.

A couple years pass.

A young boy walks to the side of the cliff and rests in the grass overlooking the shore. The breeze tussles his amber hair and he closes his eyes in appreciation for the weather. He cocks his head to the side and notices a hand sticking out of a pile of rubbish. With curiosity flowing through him like adrenaline he jumps up and trots over to investigate. He finds old banners and signs and hats and jackets all scattered and tossed around. After removing most of it he comes face to face with the statue. She is barely noticeable. The waves she loved so much battered her down after the years, the people she loved so much used her up, the merchant that saved her had turned her into a glorified bulletin board and trash pile. The boy saw only sadness molded into her face and wondered if she used to have a smile. 

Feeling heartbroken, the boy took down all the trash and cleaned up her area. Once he finished they stared at each other for an immeasurable amount of time for words that cannot be spoken were being exchanged. The boy walked up and hugged the statue and whispered, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry we wore you down. It wasn't on purpose but I'm still sorry." 

[calebquire-blog]

Yunan Pour-Over & Hopefully Some Toast

"nothin"  -- nobody

           I got a chance to make coffee at home this morning and so I decided to do some writing along with that gift. I wandered downstairs this morning with a yawn on my lips and pop in my bones. Made it to the kitchen just in time for the Yawn-Stretch Combo to happen. Spotted a bag of Yunan coffee, which happens to be from China, and did a little jig to the grinder. Hips swaying to an imaginative song in my head. Eventually that imaginary song turned into Everything by Atmosphere. Song's jammin. Water's heating. Coffee's grinding. Head's bobbing. Feet tapping. Grinding finished. Water's done. Steam's rising. Coffee's dripping. Aromas' dancing. And the job is done. First sip is like a gift from the universe; warmth, love, energy, flavor, & happiness shared through a liquid. We don't deserve such things as beautiful as specialty coffee. Centuries of perfected agriculture on perfected locations to a single surface area of a coffee farm, added to the years of perfected roasting machines and software and roasting styles come together in magical harmony inside a mug.

          Silence rings out after the coffee is finished. It's a comforting song that sits on everything like a weighted blanket. It presents itself to my mind like a blank white board where I toss my thoughts and arrange them to spend a closer look. It, too, is a great gift. Quiet and slow mornings are oases in an otherwise hectic morning, traditionally. Both offer different things, the quiet & slow provides patience but can easily get boring; the hectic mornings offer fast pace and a sense of work purpose. There are no moments to sit back and ponder thoughts. There is only "take care of this" and "on to the next."  The key is the balance. 

Oh snap! My toast is done! See ya.  

[calebquire-blog]

Oak Road's Pseudolus Wit & Lucky Strike Cigarette

"Sometimes I feel so alone that I don't know what to do...but I don't know why. I don't know why. "  -- deM atlaS featured in Next To You

           It's been such a minute since I last wrote something that I've forgotten my template on these things. Fingers crossed it's still the same. 

          Moving forward is and should be very exciting, but at the same time it can also be very stressful, exhausting, draining, overbearing, and all other synonyms. I'm sitting at a wooden desk that cost $45 and 3 hours of effort plus a genius to actually build it. Beer glasses set up posts on this young desk, barely 24 hours old and it's been populated by empty containers. Things have a quick rhythm to their spots from the giant sketchpad with design sketches and thumbnails to the external hard drive humming to its own beat. My clipboard is littered with reminders and good morning notes and a crow feather sits atop for good luck. 

If I close my eyes and slow my breathing all sounds of cafe life disappear. The espresso machine stops hissing and humming, the milk stops screaming, chairs stop dragging the floor, bathroom doors stop slamming, excited discussions from patrons fade into the distance. Suddenly it's very quiet. My ears are able to block out the noise but my mind isn't able to block out the thoughts. I'm moving forward and i'm loving every minute of it, but if I thought I was busy before, then I was wrong. As much as i try to live in the moment, I cannot help but to constantly go over what is coming next. Thoughts of future tasks rival thoughts of things forgotten. The fear of failure driving each one to make a higher claim in my brain. Which one wins is not important. The destruction they cause negates any victory. 

My lungs expand to capacity. My body hunches over as air escapes through my mouth. I sigh more than I talk these days. Sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it. It's just what I say to express what's on my mind. My life reminds me of a newbie stick-shift driver. Having to shift in between gears but not being comfortable yet. I'm switching between different modes of who I am at random times throughout the day. Learning that i don't get days off but rather moments. I'm having to ease the clutch so that there is no hard transition. I constantly force myself to smile and laugh when I don't want to; this is good, though, because it eases into a lighter mood instead of dredging down that burdened path. I'm learning how to occupy my time and not burn out. And it's a struggle but it's a willing struggle. Every night I go home happy because I know I advanced a little. Even if it really is a minuscule amount, I grew today and I will continue to grow. 

To all the people that took a leap and are sitting at home staring at the ground while they holler, "WHY DID YOU DO THIS!?" inside their minds; it gets easier. If you decided to challenge your life then, FUCK YES! You made the right choice no matter what stress you have now. You aren't use to this life and that is always going to be the case. You cannot advance in life if it's something you can comfortably ease into. You have to challenge yourself and push your limits to grow and be what you want yourself to be. So keep pushing on, don't let the stress crush you. Gain experience and tackle it. You don't need to be perfect in the begging. You don't need to be perfect in the end. You simply have to do your best and keep growing. 

[calebquire-blog]

Coca Cola with Espresso & A Stale Doughnut

            It's July Fourth and he's at work in a dark kitchen knuckles deep in cold brew ice coffee being filtered for the upcoming week. His brain constantly churning the events of the past week like a machine with a single order.

"Don't dwell on the past," he whispers to himself.

Blink-182 is blasting through his earbuds. His head bobs to the rhythm and every now and then he does a little jig. He sings his heart out while checking to make sure nobody has come in to the warehouse. His singing is most definitely bad enough to warrant the occasional check.

"Why didn't she answer that question?" he mutters.

He's stopped dancing and is now staring through the window. He doesn't see the empty Arby's building across the street. He doesn't notice the crows flying around looking for treasure. He's lost in his thoughts. Replaying a conversation he had days ago. A car drives by casting a glare through the window. He snaps out of his daydream to go back to filtering. The current song catches his attention and the singing and dancing continue on. 

"I should have done that completely differently," he thinks.

Now he's staring at himself in the mirror as he washes hands. He's blankly staring at his face while flicking water off his hands. Out of habit he walks down the ramp back to the kitchen. He leans against the table rubbing his facial hair and staring at the floor. He's going through that night, breaking it all down, finding what could have gone better, what didn't go wrong, trying to read anything out of the situation. He wasn't happy with the results by the end of that night that happened a week ago which snowballs into a completely different set of thoughts. He thinks about old friends that he doesn't talk to anymore. "It's not out of spite," he says to them fictionally, "We're just at different points in life." He subconsciously rubs his eyes from exhaustion, he doesn't realize how run down he is, but that's for his own good. He won't allow himself to stop. 

"Everything is going to be weird now," he thinks. He sighs, having to make a mental note to act completely normal. 

"Why do I do this to myself? Every. Time." he says out loud while rolling his eyes and trying to shake it off. "

"Don't dwell on the past, goddammit."

'All The Small Things' by Blink-182 comes on and the one man show returns. This time he's all over the kitchen like a Footloose remake only a thousand times worse. Unfortunately, he cannot trash this place with epic dancing. He's getting closer to finishing his tasks for the day and excitement begins to build up from anticipation for the coming night. It's the Fourth of July after all. A hand comes out and starts scratching his back as he leans over the sink. It's so familiar. He arches his back in response and a smile creeps on his face. He turns around to see those eyes but they aren't there. It was only a memory. Not a sad one but simply a memory from some time ago. His eyes rest and his day dreaming kicks back up again. The music fades away, his eyes go blank, his body moves on autopilot. This melancholy feelings brings forth all memories of the same feeling. 

Before he realizes, his job is done and he's walking out the door. He locks it up. Absently walks to his car and sits down. The engine roars to life. The exhaust shouts with joy. He heads home. As the wind blows through the window making his hair dance like he just was, he feels calm and relaxed. 

"What a good time to be alive," he says smiling. See, his mind may wander and constantly contemplate things but he is a happy soul.  

[calebquire-blog]

Guatemalan Coffee & Toast With Jam

"We do not remember days, we remember moments."  -- Cesare Pavese

        The clock tells me it is only eleven fifty six in the morning on a rainy Sunday morning and yet it feels like it could be later or earlier at the same time. My coffee sings promises of productivity but the tray next to me shouts ideas of a contradictory sort. My desk vibrates under my arms with different stories, themes, morals, rebuttals, and jokes from many people from many places all channeling through a small box. There is flashing light providing me with assurance that I am connected to everybody in the world at a click of a Mighty Mouse. Rain pitter patters a beat across my ears showcasing different tones from the concrete to the cars and even against my office windows. Around the bend and up the stairs there sits a machine ticking away, yet failing in its duties to accurately tell me the time because it only ever says four twenty. There are plants meditating all around me that predetermined this calm and still day. There rumbles a tropical storm around my townhouse and I am thankful for this slow day. I can hardly remember the past few weeks swimming in to-do lists and responsibilities with floaties around my arms and a snorkel around my face. I am thankful for this slow day. 

[calebquire-blog]

Costa Rican Pour Over & Kristin Davison Bread

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."  -- Albus Dumbledore (Sorcerer's Stone)

April 8, 2016

              Never forget the people that make you realize that you are not the sum of your flaws or the total of your vices. Always remember the people that made you feel whole and alive. And if you have the chance, do what you can to stay by those souls because they are few a far between.

As I sit in my chair with a black metal camping mug resting perfectly in between my arms with "KELTY BUILT" nicely printed on the side, a plate full of bread crumbs cast to the side for more room, a mason jar full of steam bubbles that once held coffee, a mess of nicknacks scattered around with no true destination, and a shelf of plants sitting by the window watching all the neighborhood gossip...it happens to not be the only thing I see. Floating around behind my eyes are small glimpses of possibilities. Some terrifying but some very beautiful and enticing, as dreams often are. My brain does not slow down during the quiet moments of life; instead it's a steam engine constantly churning with the only control being what direction I point it towards.

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live," said Albus Dumbledore to Harry while they gazed at The Mirror of Erised. A powerful line written by JK Rowlling but it can be easily slept on. Day dreams aren't always nonsensical ways a person can zone out; they can be powerful images locking someone's mind and heart in a foreign place. Every time someone gets trapped in a day dream, their perspective of reality gets skewed more and more until they cast their own image onto others without realizing things are not the way they've been dreaming.  It's an easy trap to fall into if you have a decent imagination so be careful; situations can be harder to overcome if your mind is prepared for the fiction it invented.

Stay grounded.

Do not confuse having strong visual goals worth achieving as tantalizing day dreams. Goals push you towards action and movement and create a desire to fight forward. Day dreams are there to paint a pretty picture over a reality where someone isn't totally satisfied. Continue to stack up goals and knock 'em down. But do not fall prey to the mirror like so many men Dumbledore stated having wasted away their lives becoming mad with desperation. 

[calebquire-blog]

8oz Double Shot Americano & A Sesame Seed Bagel

                 Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Feel the air expand your lungs. Hold it. Keep holding it. Don't let it out yet. Okay okay, let it out. Listen to the sounds around you. Truly try your best to listen to every sound you hear and make note of each one. The person in the corner talking too loudly into his bluetooth set. The dinging of the door chime as people walk in looking for coffee. The opening and closing of refrigerator doors mixing with the screeching of the steam wands. A couple sit at the bar and discuss spare time while waiting for a play. Cars driving, horns honking, kids giggling, birds chirping, lighters clicking, staples snapping, printers groaning, coffee grinding, radio blasting, wood turning, ovenscookingbeansroastingkladkppewhpekgwejpfkf.

Now cut it out. All at once or one at a time. Cut every sound out. Once you identify it, let it go. 

Follow your rhythmic breathing to keep yourself on course. Once you've emptied your mind of distractions, what do you want to accomplish today? Let it form a light in your head. Let it build till it's too bright. Consuming your vision until you finally open your eyes. Now go about your day with that one accomplishment engraved in your head. I promise you will find a way to complete it. 

Good luck, fam!  

[calebquire-blog]

Green Tea & A Hunger For Blueberry Waffles

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."  -- George Bernard Shaw

February 20, 2016

               The sunlight dissolves into the room. Some blankets are being tossed about. There are footsteps heading towards the kitchen. Faintly, you can hear the ticking of the stove coming to life, excited to share its dreams with the world. Thirty-two...ish ounces of water get poured into a pot; set to boil. Thousands of fibers get scattered into the atmosphere as tea packets get ripped open and plopped into a jar. Tsssssssssssss! Water's done. The footsteps create a beat to which the old house shakes its moaning body. The creaking of a chair joins in to finish off the symphony of the journey back.

Green tea touches my tongue at just the right temperature that I smile and give myself a tiny pat on the back for the execution. I've been trying to figure out if I am allergic to this house or if there is something outside that effects me only when I'm here. As I sit and sip my tea, and periodically dream about waffles, I began examining my life and the ins and outs from the past few months that I have not stepped aside to examine. I spent a good deal of time reliving those good moments and cracking up at the funny memories. There are plenty of things I would like to have done differently, of course, but that's just the way of life. It was odd looking back when it had been such an amount of time, almost like it was catching up on a tv show that you only caught bits and pieces to. And so a certain phrase popped into my head, "Life is constantly moving forward." I never put a deeper thought into it because I simply took it at face value, but this morning I got a sense of warmth from it. Thinking back to the times the stress took over and I did not know how certain things would get fixed, they all ended up just fine. In fact, in some cases I hadn't even noticed it got better because life had happened so much that it faded away. My point is, if something is weighing you down and causing so much stress that the world will fall apart around your feet...well, it won't. Life will continue on and things will go in whatever direction they go in. At some point, that becomes reassuring.

[calebquire-blog]

Theraflu Tea & Toast With Jam

"meow meow"  -- Cat

January 28, 2016

            The month of January is almost over; if you turn around quick enough you may catch a lingering glimpse of these past weeks. It's been a productive time thus far. I have so many ideas for this year that there's no time to waste on lollygagging about town. A hermit I am becoming for the betterment of my future; I won't feel bad this year for not spending time with people. (The introvert in me is dancing with joy) There are days I look in the mirror and I notice grey hairs and lines on my face and while my physical aging doesn't concern me, the fact that I am not where I want to be yet does. I didn't expect to have all my shit together by this age and to be frank, I didn't really have any expectations of life this far. It seemed too distant to plan out. I wasn't that kid with a hardcore plan growing up so I never bothered worrying about it. I look back at it and shrug because all my choices led me to this exact spot. This gray 1970's swivel chair in the corner of this entirely too expensive 1927 house that is falling apart around my ankles. It's been an interesting ride here, but that's exactly what it was, a ride. There were times the ride hit a hole in the road and threw everything in the air with chaotic energy. I gained some scars and stories and advice from this ride but I didn't drive at all. It's time to get behind the wheel and go where I want to go and not sit back and ride along.

It's not too late or too early to start driving your own life, fam. Just get up & go.

[calebquire-blog]

Podcast 01 [OCT 22/2015]

Some friends and I set up a mic around a fireplace and a few chairs where our butts were sitting and we just goofed off for 40 min. If you're looking for completely nonsensical conversation and some good laughs then you'll enjoy this! It'll be a weekly upload too. 

[calebquire-blog]

Colombian Coffee & A Hunger For A Bagel

"Do you want to know who you are? Don't ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you."  -- Thomas Jefferson

October 19, 2015

           How many hours have you wasted just talking? How many thoughts have you put together, carefully planned out, scripted and repeated to yourself, and ended up just talking about them? How many lives have you shared your thoughts with but with no back up? Stringing tales of "what-ifs" and " one days" and "I want to's"? The moment those words come out of your mouth they are as transparent as your ability to act upon them. Do not folly around with make belief visions of your life because they will continue to be make believe. 

ACT! GO OUT AND FUCKING ACT ON THEM! 

"JUST DO IT!" - Shia LaBeouf 

Here's a man that has probably heard so many things about people's ideas and sat back and watched them never do anything about it. There's such a plethora of people that do that in this world. Frustration from hearing it happen over and over and over and over will get to a person. 

There's momentum behind someone who is constantly moving and wanting to do more. It is easier to stay off your butt and continue to act rather than sitting around trying to muster the energy to get up and do it. How ironic is it that dreams will be shared with full ability to do them, yet the speaker will choose to stay stationary and continue to talk. If someone wants to get up and go out and climb a mountain or go see the sunrise or become a photographer or roast coffee beans, then they merely must put one foot in front of the other and keep doing it until, "Oh hey! Look!," they've done it! 

Want to climb a mountain? Find the closest one and search for a beginner's start and drive there. Even if they cannot complete their goal, they at least got up and did it. They've already gained an immeasurable advantage from beginning the momentum. Next time it'll be easier to get up and easier to climb and easier to know how to plan. You have to start somewhere.

Want to become a photographer? Don't have money for a nice camera? Good. Don't waste money on a decent camera in the beginning; especially not with the modern camera on a smart phone these days. Learn, from the internet, how to frame out shots and then go out and take a picture of something. Literally anything! Walk around a house, or a city, or a back yard, or go with something wanting to hike a mountain. Take thousands of pictures in the beginning. Keep narrowing down the photos until a certain style is established. Next time it'll be easier to look for that picture you want. Easier to know how to get it. And then the skill set has motion and the path has been opened. You have to start somewhere.

Want to roast coffee beans? Have a pot? Have a lid? Have the internet? Go to your local coffee roaster and buy some green coffee beans, or order them from a local coffee shop somewhere. Right down the steps needed in roasting the first batch. Then keep failing until you get it. Nothing is ever easy in the beginning but it is the beginning that makes things easy. Someone is never worse than the last time they did something if you keep up with it. It's a constant growing cycle of learning. You have to start somewhere. 

Moral of the story is: STOP TALKING ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO AND JUST FUCKING DO IT. 

Side note: If you're living with a mental disability it will be harder for this to be an accomplishment. Focus on very small steps and cherish every one you achieve. Do not beat yourself up for your pace on something. People move in different speeds. The act of moving is what is important, not the speed. Trying new things can be very high anxiety and stress inducing but the reward is astronomical, I promise. Small steps and determination will lead you there. Believe in yourself. You can do it. 

[calebquire-blog]

Cold Kenyan Coffee & Vulnerability

"Youth is never something I wanna take for granted. I just wanna smile and live life."  -- Tyler, The Creator

October 12, 2015

             I had one of those moments again this morning. I've had one of those moments too many times this month already. I don't know what that means but I'm trying to figure it out. I spend silent seconds of my day lost in thought. Face fixed. Body stuck. Mind racing. I know people can see it on me. A lost person staring at their hands like the answers are written in the cracks. I hear my name and snap out of it with a smile on my face. In that moment that smile is genuine, I'm grateful for being brought back. 

Sometimes I catch myself just staring at how the light hits my boots while they lie tossed on the floor haphazardly. The dust particles dancing around them to beat only they can hear. How did I get here? I turn around and I don't know where I'm headed. 

I woke up yesterday and ripped my artwork off the walls. I couldn't look at the flaws anymore. It didn't inspire me to do better. It didn't remind me from where I came and where I could go. It was a flaw and that's all I saw. Now all I see is a bare space on my walls and I don't know if that's better. I still see the flaws. 

I got too drunk the other night. My tongue decided to take over and lead the rest of my thoughts. I spoke too honestly. Too drunkenly. Too exposed. She was too nice. She didn't tell me to stop talking. She didn't laugh at my remarks. She recognized my state and comforted me. Yet, when the morning sunlight hit my face, much like it hits my boots, I felt more scared than before. Without even looking, without even trying, without even realizing, I can feel the walls growing back. Your face is fading in the distance while I shout, thank you. 

Last night I sat around a fire with friends. Beer in our hands, cigarettes in between our fingers, phones actively being used, all of them extensions of ourselves. I zoned out. Mid text. Mid sip. Mid puff. I was gone. I had one of the moments like I do when I wake up. I had one of those moments where I hate where I am and who I am and what I am. All that surged into my veins. Pumping hot lava in every millimeter of my being. In that moment, I saw myself crack. I saw myself screaming, clawing, breaking. Muscles tense. Jaw clenches. Eyes close.   SNAP    I take a sip. a puff. a snapchat. i move about my life bc i am momentum. 

I tell you these things not because I want your attention or reassurance that "i'll figure it out. don't stress it." I appreciate your words but when you tell me that, i want to tell you to shove those words down your own throat and recognize i'm not asking for sympathy. I write these things to show who I am. Make no mistake, I don't have my shit together, and I want to be real with everyone. I am me and I do not hide it. I am struggling but I am moving. Some days are shit. Some days are gold. I am the sum of all my days. 

hello.

[calebquire-blog]

Half Diluted Lemonade & A Single Gold American Spirit Cigarette

"You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life."  -- Steve Jobs

July 6, 2015

           The other day I was talking to someone about having a day job and I very specifically remember a question he threw at me that stumped me. Here's how it went:

Me: "I just feel like I'm wasting my time sometimes."

Him: "I understand but go more into detail."

Me: "When I'm at home, I have all these projects I want to do but I can't focus on them because I have to come here and turn my brain off to serve customers. It's a different way of thinking that stunts my creativity sometimes."

Him: "Okay. Well said."

Me: "Ah! It just makes me so angry!" 

Him: "Well, what exactly makes you angry? Like, what are you specifically angry at?" 

            I opened my mouth at this question with full intention of answering but nothing came out. I did one of those things where you lean forward to slam some sweet pile of truth on someone until you realize you don't have any, so you slowly lean back in your seat staring at the ground like someone just shattered your world. I didn't have a good answer! I DIDN'T HAVE AN ANSWER AT ALL! Hell, I was angry and I didn't even know what for! 

There were these series of events that led to this emotion yet I hadn't dived into them to figure out why I was angry as an outcome. I just took the emotion for what it was and rolled with it. (I advise to always ask yourself why you feel a certain way about something. It'll lead to wonderful self growth but that'll have to be a separate blog on another day). To be honest, I didn't figure it out for several weeks. It was this constant nagging in my ear that would pop up in times of silence. I couldn't figure out what was bothering me about the whole thing because of several reasons:

I actually enjoy my job most of the time

I owe an immeasurable amount to this family because they took me in and gave me a new life and it is one that I never felt like I deserved

This job is paying my bills and allowing me to literally create, so why would it bother me so much

I can just be dimwitted sometimes

So today I sit down at my computer and I watch this video by Jacksgap: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAuoyZIdHGs , and I was just drenched with inspiration. It flowed through me like a waterfall and I got beat around with energy and life and that's exactly the way you should feel when watching these videos. BUT I also got angry again. So naturally, this question came back into my head, "What are you specifically angry at?" 

As I watched the rest of the video and the other video that accompanies it, I sought an answer. 

What I came up with is that I'm angry at myself. Angry about all the time I waste and have wasted not creating, not doing, not sprinting, not bleeding everything into what I want to do as a life. I'm sitting here watching these two guys, younger than I am, that are traveling the world, experiencing everything, spreading culture, and doing it as a career. While I'm sitting at home behind my computer, working around a day job, and the last place I traveled in months is to the Target ten minutes away. I'm angry at myself for not making my future what I want it to be. I'm letting other factors control my future. At that point is it even yours? 

We're young. We have talent. We have the ridiculous mindset for this. If you're angry too, grab that anger, push it straight into your chest, use that anger and fucking change your future. We can sleep when we're dead right? 

[calebquire-blog]

[calebquire-blog]

Arizona Green Tea & Cow Tails

"Negativity is the enemy of creativity"  -- David Lynch

June 4. 2015.

          There's more to this statement than just the surface level. This has been something I have to constantly remind myself and constantly work at to stop it from affecting me. Negativity is infectious, just like happiness is as well but for whatever reason we hold on to negativity. Having a constant battle to prevent negative influences in your life is something I passionately believe in. Whether it is people, or music, or self-doubt, or conversations, or looking at the world in a poor light, whatever the reason, I strongly suggest doing everything you damn well can to fight it. There are many difficulties in doing this that I recognize, such as, letting go of old friends. Just because someone was a close friend before doesn't mean they should continue to stay there. You don't keep your old cellphones once they've broken and become almost unbearable to use. You recognize that they have fulfilled a portion of your life and now it is time to get something that better fits your life in it's current stage. Easily applied to friendships. Do not assume that because you are old friends that you must maintain the same level that you've always been on. Generally, people change, they evolve, into (hopefully) a truer version of themselves. (At least that's the goal) As you grow, others are growing as well, and usually it isn't in the same direction. That is by no means a bad thing, but it is important to realize the other person should have less of an impact on your life. It isn't a bad thing unless you set fire to the figurative bridge. It could simply turn into coffee once a month compared to the usual fast food everyday during college. If you're worried about letting someone go then I suggest doing it slowly. That allows you more time to yourself and more time to work on creating a better version of yourself. 

There's the other side to this statement as well. The internal struggle of negativity. Coming from an artist's brain, there's a high risk of self damage that soaks your soul in negativity. This, IMO, is harder to battle. "Your worst enemy is yourself" is a constant issue for me as I stare at my artwork in every medium that I practice. I created a video a few weeks ago titled "Morning Routine" that exhibits my morning meditation. I have always struggled with meditation until I started this company of myself, to which I would find my mind swamped with thoughts from millions of directions as well as more stress. Eventually I shut down and had to reboot. Since the "reboot" I've been fighting every sad, every mean, every harmful, every negative thought so that I don't digress and it has helped me out so well. I only do a quick 15min mediation but it allows me to drop to the side any bullshit that's stinking up my time and my creativity. I repeat a mantra that mainly is this, "DO MORE. WORK HARDER." which you might recognize came from Casey Neistat...but he's one of the best people I've had the pleasure of watching and learning from. Repeating this over and over again sets it deep in your mind, which is where you want it to be because it plays off in your subconscious allowing me to focus more efficiently.                        

Before I start to ramble, let me recap by saying, "Stay vigilant in blocking negativity in any capacity because the improvement in your life will be worth all the initial struggle to keep your head above water."

Stay strong. Keep fighting. It gets better. 

[calebquire-blog]

Progress?

I planned on deleting al the old photography pictures I had that I didn’t agree with anymore but I came to the conclusion that it might serve a good purpose. It can showcase the progress I’ve made with my work and might encourage people to keep going if they were feeling bad about their own. Hope this helps, or at least gives you a good laugh as you travel back. 

[calebquire-blog]

I’ve got a website displaying my fun in the artistic ways, but also to show any services a client may want to commission me for. Go have a little check at it. 

                                                          HERE