me~

poots

[orcboxer]

I kill your grandad's foes

[lokaror]

They die incredible

[randomalistic]

Your artstyle is like your gut microbiome in the way its everything you consume and like and it also has all your bacteria up in it. Thats probably how that works

[actualtree]

ITS ONLY JULY FIRST

[coolsadtrash]

[b0nkcreat]

Ueeeeeeeeeeeee unueueeueehhhhhhhhhh ueeeeeeeeeeh <- my awesome noise that everyone likes

[mevil]

[lizholmes]

[orcboxer]

Things that work in fiction but not real life

torture getting reliable information out of people

knocking someone out to harmlessly incapacitate them for like an hour

jumping into water from staggering heights and surviving the fall completely intact

calling the police to deescalate a situation

rafting your way off a desert island

correctly profiling total strangers based on vibes

effectively operating every computer by typing and nothing else

ripping an IV out of your arm without consequences

heterosexual cowboy

[orcboxer]

This post breaching containment has taught me that a lot of people seem to think they can accurately profile complete strangers. For the record, no the fuck you can't.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

funniest yet most enlightening conversation on this whole social media ban topic, by two girls sat across from me on the bus the other day:

"what do they mean by social media? does Roblox count? what about all the stuff I've built?"

"you'll be fine, doesn't your icloud say you're 34?"

"oh my god they're even banning Facebook. who the fuck is on Facebook"

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Children are born into a state of implicit debt.

Good parents forgive this debt. Bad parents expect it to be repaid, one way or another. The accepted currencies are varied and cryptic and might be mostly innocuous or they might be horrifically criminal.

Many families don’t realize that there is a debt until the child defaults on it somehow. That could be for any reason—the child simply fails to deliver on the parental investment by not adequately being the child they paid for.

“Inspiration porn” is a disability term, but I’m using it here because it’s appropriately provocative, and because the state of being a child is functionally a disability. A child who fails to be life-affirming and inspirational and to perform heartwarming innocence is breaking a contract, and adults are no longer obligated to uphold their own end and nurture the child. A child is a resource from which inspiration porn can be mined, or it is a kind of brood parasite.

[findthekeystopthekraang]

made this for a friend and figured id share it here too

[dogglegog]

dominant things you can say during sex

i didnt hear what you said

hold on i need to blow my nose

wow

i feel kind of nauseous

is this anything

i don't know

this kind of reminds me of that one song

we can probably ignore that noise if you want to

why is my sock wet

it smells bad in here

that was weird

where are my glasses

ow

this is normal

sorry

just 2 chill people chilling

this is cool

can you say that again

are we good

youre actually naked

[penny-anna]

Finance department asking the real questions

[penny-anna]

The answer here is, obviously, that in the world of Cars there would be no such thing as 'car insurance' as we understand it because cars are people. However, they would refer to life insurance as 'car insurance' bcos it would be a solid goof. Ergo the wrong answer is winning.

[penny-anna]

Decided that since this is displayed in the shared office space we're all invited to participate and went through to add a vote, forgetting that one of the managers from a different office is working in there today, had to explain to him who Lightning McQueen is.

[queerliblib]

it’s a beautiful day to check out a book from the library

[meeliesaysno]

its a beautiful day to return a book to the library unread after it auto renews 3 times

[ksfoxwald]

The library says thank you for boosting our circulation stats and the book will still be here later if you want it another time <3

[devilladyman-deactivated2024122]

[possessable]

it's good enrichment for The Character(s) when one of their friends gets possessed and they have to find some way to bring them back. great friendgroup bonding activity. especially if they have to do some exorcism bullshit and it's traumatizing for everyone involved and there's collapsing and sobbing afterward. great thing for The Character(s) to do. highly recommend.

[tredlocity]

[tredlocity]

[busket]

white people appropriating aave is always irritating but specifically the use of "-ahh" like "goofy-ahh" "stupid-ahh" bro if you are not black just say ass. ass belongs to everyone, dumbass. are you afraid of cursing?? youre stealing the language of black americans cos you don't want to be caught saying a bad word like ASS ?

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[cameoappearance]

You ARE lost, my bus friend. That is a BC Transit bus and a bus stop in Vancouver, the one (1) city in the province whose transit system isn't part of BC Transit.