I just got pulled over...
Why? Driving while Black after 9 pm on a Tuesday.
I went on a corner store run. I made my purchase and got back into my vehicle.
I peeped that was a marked police cruiser parked across the street, facing the opposite direction. Before I pulled off, some pan-handling nigga walked up to my car, only close enough to yell through the passenger side window;
“Yo, bruh! You got some change?”
This nigga is out here everyday. Time to find a new hustle, lil’ nigga.
“Nah, fam.” I pulled off.
The police cruiser immediately makes a u-turn and follows. Before I get to my block, he turns on his lights. I pull over underneath a street light; you know, so I can see what the fuck is going on. I pull my registration out of the glove compartment and take my licence out of my wallet. He shines his spotlight on my side of the car.
I watch him get out of the car. A little, scrawny white dude. He looks like a rookie; like he JUST got out of the academy 6 weeks ago.
“Evening,” I replied. My tone may have sounded condescending. But, it was just. I know this shit was for no reason.
“Licence and registration, please.”
“Problem, officer,” I ask as I hand him my identification.
“I pulled you because you failed to signal.”
At this time, a second officer approached the passenger side of my car. Older white guy. He looked to be more seasoned, almost as if he was training the little dude.
Mind you, the corner store is on the exact same street they pulled me over on. I made no turns, so there was no reason to signal, but fuck it. As a big black dude, my tone alone is threatening, so I played along.
“Stay put. I’ll be right back.” The little one returned to the cruiser, but the older one stayed; attempting to make conversation and shit. I kept quiet and kept my hands shown; staring at the bright lights in my rear view mirror. I wanted to call my Queen and tell her what’s going on, but nah. The kid ain’t reaching for shit! The next thing I need is my phone being a gun and my tumblr fam posting about this shit.
The little one comes back. He had my identification in his hands, but he didn’t immediately hand it to me.
“So, Mr. Official, we saw your…exchange outside the store. Do you have any drugs or weapons in your vehicle?”
“Are you fucking kidding me,” I’m thinking to myself. “Nope.”
At this time, I grow tired of this shit.
“You mind if we search your vehicle?”
“I do not consent to any searches of myself or my personal property.”
“You know, we COULD get a K-9 to come out…”
Yeah, now they’re pissing me off. My woman’s ass is WAY too soft to be out here fuckin’ with these pigs…
“Again,” I said much more stern than the first time, “I do NOT consent to any searches of myself or my personal property. Now, am I being detained? I have a receipt from the store showing its address; showing that I made a purchase from that store around 10 minutes from this very minute. If I lose said receipt, my checking account will show the debit from the store. As the store is less than a block from this location, this will accurately prove that there is no reason for me to signal; proving that this is a waste of time, mine and your’s…and a judge’s. We both know judges don’t like their time wasted. So, I ask again, am I being detained?”
He was HOT! The whole block is smelling like cooked bacon on a Sunday morning.
“No, Mr. Official,” as he hands me my identification. “You’re free to go.”
The older cop said, “You have a wonderful evening, sir.”
“Evening, officers.” I start my car and leave.
I’m getting to old for this shit.
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