Just some random Poems @call-me-khizer - Tumblr Blog

sadbitchpoetry

the pain they‘ve caused me

the pain they‘ve caused me,

hunts me down

hunts me down,

every time I close my eyes

every time I close my eyes,

I flinch

I flinch because...

I see it again

I see how they point the electricity,

towards the artery I hit

the artery I hit,

to feel

to feel another pain,

so I can forget

forget the misery that haunted me,

just like the pain they‘ve caused me,

hunts me now.

It hunts me down,

as I feel the metal clamps

the metal clamps they shot into my bare skin,

after I could barely breathe

barely breathe because,

of the electricity they used to close the artery.

the electricity they struck me with,

even after I screamed in pain,

I screamed no.

looking to lock the eyes of the nurses that surrounded me.

they tried to calm me down,

but as the electricity struck again

I tried to pull away my arm.

now,

I look down at the bruises their hands left on me,

and I flinch.

I flinch because...

I remember the pain they‘ve caused me.

(i had a Cauterization because i hit an artery they basically burned the artery with electricity to close it and stop the bleeding but they didn‘t do local narcosis.)

never-not-ever

sadbitchpoetry

im still growing up in that house and it really does feel like parts of me are dying

sdkniasasdlkniw

This is my best friend. At the moment she’s being kept alive by tubes and needles because her eating disorder is currently stronger than she is.

Does she weigh 90lbs? No, she doesn’t. Does it look like her eating disorder is “less severe” because she’s not “that thin”? Do you think her situation sounds “less severe” because she’s not “that thin”?

Tubes and needles. Constant supervision. Pain, anger, agony. Hunger, thirst, suffering. Dizziness, constipation, freezing cold. Passing out in front of other patients and staff. Painful injections of vitamins and whatnot. Nurses who’re force feeding her, who’re forcing fluids into her body because her eating disorder is currently stronger than she is.

90lbs or not, without treatment - my best friend will die.

Would you have walked past her on the street and thought she even had an eating disorder at all? Probably not, because people keep believing you can measure or estimate a persons physical and mental health state based on the silhouette of someone’s body.

You can’t.

Never underestimate someone’s eating disorder just because they don’t look “that thin” to you. Being “thin” is just one of MANY symptoms of an eating disorder and it’s far, far from the most important one. Anyone can struggle and if someone you know struggles: don’t assume they’re alright just because they don’t look “that thin”.

Eating disorders come in one size; MISERABLE.