prob going to the psych ward today..
keep yall updated.
EXPECTATIONS

if i look back, i am lost
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@sadbitchpoetry
prob going to the psych ward today..
keep yall updated.
shoutout to my thighs, arms, liver and lungs for taking what my heart couldnât
i feel different.
not in a way that i am comparing myself to others,
but in a way to myself.
I feel like the past months have changed me more than anything ever has.
I donât know anything anymore
I feel so numb yet so fulfilled
I donât know whats real or whats fake
nothing feels real
nothing feels right
or maybe everything is just too bright.
maybe nothing changed,
maybe everything is real,
but what i know is
that i donât feel
and if i donât feel
i wonât heal.
How are you?
i wanna die sometimes but iâm fine
well thats a good meme.
Life
Life is like a carousel.
Sometimes its a up and sometimes its a down.
Sometimes its a rough ride and sometimes its calm.
Life isnt nice everyday but its also not tiring everyday.
You can choose your passengers yourself.
You choose who stays and who leaves.
You cant hold on to the past.
Dont be too fast on the carousel, or else you wont notice the beautiful things of life.
Making the wrong choices will be something you will regret, BEWARE!!
Enjoy the ride because it could be your last ride.Â
                                        -Lara Plouschnig
                                          -Khizer AsghariÂ
Lonely Days
Days Go By,every single day you think that you will get a Text from that one person.
 That one person who promised to stay forever.Â
That one person who made you feel safe.Â
That one person who made you feel safe.Â
That one person who made you feel better.
As soon as you get ur phone You Go to their ChatâŠÂ
You see that ur blocked.
 A Wave of Sadness Hits you and you fall into a deep hole of memories with that person.Â
You feel like Crying every possible tear out of your eyeâŠÂ
But you cant, Your Body is numb and isnt capable of crying anymore because you cried out every possible tear.Â
The same process reapeats every single day and makes you fall into a dark hole filled with sadness and loneliness.
Day by day you feel emptier and lonelier.
Everyday goes by like this⊠Everyday with a empty heart and soul,
âNothing lasts forever. Forever is a lie. All we have is whats between hello and goodbye.â
â via (quotes and Notes)Â
This is my best friend. At the moment sheâs being kept alive by tubes and needles because her eating disorder is currently stronger than she is.
Does she weigh 90lbs? No, she doesnât. Does it look like her eating disorder is âless severeâ because sheâs not âthat thinâ? Do you think her situation sounds âless severeâ because sheâs not âthat thinâ?
Tubes and needles. Constant supervision. Pain, anger, agony. Hunger, thirst, suffering. Dizziness, constipation, freezing cold. Passing out in front of other patients and staff. Painful injections of vitamins and whatnot. Nurses whoâre force feeding her, whoâre forcing fluids into her body because her eating disorder is currently stronger than she is.
90lbs or not, without treatment - my best friend will die.
Would you have walked past her on the street and thought she even had an eating disorder at all? Probably not, because people keep believing you can measure or estimate a persons physical and mental health state based on the silhouette of someoneâs body.
You canât.
Never underestimate someoneâs eating disorder just because they donât look âthat thinâ to you. Being âthinâ is just one of MANY symptoms of an eating disorder and itâs far, far from the most important one. Anyone can struggle and if someone you know struggles: donât assume theyâre alright just because they donât look âthat thinâ.
Eating disorders come in one size; MISERABLE.
!!
this
Share the fuck out of this!!
FUCKING REBLOG. THIS IS SO IMPORTANT
this is so important
LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK
THIS MESSAGE. THANK U. REBLOG.
if you are having trouble with eating:
you deserve to eat
you need to eat
food is not the enemy
calories give you the energy to smile
you are worthy
you are loved
i am proud of you for fighting, you can do this!!
5 seconds of insane courage, itâs all you need
your struggles are real, so is your bravery
you are good enough
you are not a mistake
you are one of a kind
every cell in your body needs love
PASS THIS ON BECAUSE YOU LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FOLLOWERS
please eat if you havenât today! even if itâs something small. if you canât please drink some water. i love you <3
EAT SOMETHING PLS JUST A BITE AFTER THE OTHER
âItâs all in your headâ
yes which is why itâs called mental illness you incompetent piece of shit
im still growing up in that house and it really does feel like parts of me are dying
the pain theyâve caused me
the pain theyâve caused me,
hunts me down
hunts me down,
every time I close my eyes
every time I close my eyes,
I flinch
I flinch because...
I see it again
I see how they point the electricity,
towards the artery I hit
the artery I hit,
to feel
to feel another pain,
so I can forget
forget the misery that haunted me,
just like the pain theyâve caused me,
hunts me now.
It hunts me down,
as I feel the metal clamps
the metal clamps they shot into my bare skin,
after I could barely breathe
barely breathe because,
of the electricity they used to close the artery.
the electricity they struck me with,
even after I screamed in pain,
I screamed no.
looking to lock the eyes of the nurses that surrounded me.
they tried to calm me down,
but as the electricity struck again
I tried to pull away my arm.
now,
I look down at the bruises their hands left on me,
and I flinch.
I flinch because...
I remember the pain theyâve caused me.
(i had a Cauterization because i hit an artery they basically burned the artery with electricity to close it and stop the bleeding but they didnât do local narcosis.)
how EDs work:
i failed anorexia,
so i slipped into bulimia.
basically i failed not eating,
so i started eating and throwing it up afterwards.