Hi! My name is Coke! I normally run the cod fandom account on tumblr and tiktok by the name CallMeCoke.
This is a seperate blog I’ve made so I can vent my frustrations and my emotions in a way that doesn’t clog my main account. Because I know that’s not what many of you subscribed for. I want to be able to share stories that make people happy while also being able to express my emotions. So this is the result! Welcome to the vent blog.
Some notes before responding/interacting with me:
Even if you disagree with me, I ask that you remain kind and respectful with how you treat me and others
I’m not here to start a fight with random strangers. I don’t make posts as a call to action. These are a just vents. If you feel personally offended or attacked, please know that I’m really sorry and that’s not what i meant to do. But if we can’t see eye to eye, then it’s best to just block me and move on. I won’t feel upset if you do. It protects us both.
Similarly, this isn’t a debate blog! I’m not here to argue or debate back and forth with you. Any attempts to challenge me that isn’t good faith criticism (I mean truly respectful and constructive criticism of my world view that also understands where I am coming from) will just got you blocked. I’m not a debate bro.
I’m mentally ill. Always have been, always will be. This is why I’m making a vent blog in the first place. So keep in mind, I’m in a fragile state when I write these. And I deserve patience and respect.
So yeah! This will be updated with bounderies and the like later, but please feel free to chat with me on here more freely about stuff outside of cod! I do love talking to people and helping them.
Hey, sorry I’ve been inactive on my main account. Just wanted to make a small request to anyone who’d want to write it.
If y’all would be up for it, I would really appreciate a small one-shot or a Headcanon about how cod characters would react to a reader who thinks they’re unlovable. I have a preference for Nikto, price, graves and Nikolai but I love all the cod characters dearly so the worlds your oyster.
Cod Characters x Reader who thinks they're unloveable
*first time doing one of these, I tried. Written as gender neutral. Featured: Price, Nikolai, Graves, Simon, Johnny, Kyle, Alejandro, Rudy
Price finds you hiding in the room offshooting his office. You're in tears, spiraling after a set of stray comments from a few other officers flared up your insecurities. You'd always believed yourself to be unlovable, and their gossip had only confirmed that others thought of you that way too. But when Price sees you crying like that, he just pulls you into his lap. Damn propriety or manners, you needed comfort. When you finally tell him what's bothering you, he lets out a harsh growl, more like a bear than a man. But he just squeezes you close, and with you nestled against his chest, tells you all the things he loves about you. Price may be planning a few murders, but his momma raised him right, and he's gonna get you laughing again first.
Nikolai is shocked, to say the least, when he sees the look on your face. You'd agreed to help out in the hangar today, and had just come back from your lunch. Your expression is written in frustration, guilt, and self loathing. All things he recognizes, and all things Nikolai believes you should never be feeling. And based on how you're standing around the corner from the hangar entrance, you'd been trying to hide this from him. That wouldn't do. But Nikolai is also terrible at comforting people, more used to slick talking negotiations. So he pulls you into a tight hug, but tries to tickle a laugh out of you. When that doesn't work and the sadness in your eyes only grows, his chest tightens. Still holding you close, he begs an answer from you. When you explain how it seemed like every person you ran into while out was with a lover and how unlovable that made you feel, Nikolai almost laughs. Thankfully, he doesn't. But he does think it's absurd, someone as wonderful and gorgeous as you thinking you're unlovable. And when he pulls you back into the hangar to sit on the entry steps, he tells you as much, with you still stuck to his side.
Graves, to put it bluntly, is terrible with people. Yes, he's charismatic, smooth and silver-tongued, but that's not him. That's Commander Graves, mission leader and his operation persona. On Shadow Company's base, Graves is significantly more laid back, but more importantly, he doesn't have to deal with people. He's got you for that. His secretary, perfect, charming, and loved by all. That is, till he comes back from a meeting to find you sobbing at your desk. You look so miserable and pathetic like that that it breaks his heart on the spot. So shit as he may be with people, Graves approaches you, rather like one might approach a cornered animal. Great start. What he's not expecting is for you to lash out when he gets close, smacking at him while rambling about your shitty day and how unlovable you feel. Hold on, what? That can't be right, and he's gonna convince you that it's not true. So for the next half hour, Graves holds you, half restraining and half hugging you, while he tells you all about your amazing qualities, and why everyone on base loves you so much.
Simon is no stranger to self hatred, or feeling unlovable, or any of it. So when he finds you on the roof, sitting against the railing and scribbling furiously in a journal, it's not hard for him to guess that you've been having a bad day. Him too. He'd originally come here to smoke, but sharing misery with you doesn't seem so bad. So he plops down next to you with a grunt and lights his cigarette. Mistake. You nearly bite his head off, which is more than a little out of the norm for you. But Simon lets you yell, scream, shout, because you clearly need it. Right up until you spit some bull about being an unlovable bastard. He puts a finger to your lips in a motion so baffling you quite instantly, staring at him. You look so soft and confused that it makes his heart ache. Ever bad with words, he just tugs you to sit a little closer to him, offering a drag of his cigarette. You understand what he means though. The quiet reassurance that he was there, and that you were loved.
Johnny is perfectly used to comforting people. Growing up in the middle of seven siblings had ensured he'd walk into all kinds of tumultuous emotions. So when he finds you in the shooting range, unloading round after round with shoulders tenser than granite, he knows he's gotta do something. He's a demolitions expert, and you're a bomb he needs to defuse. A bomb with a gun, he reminds himself as he approaches, making sure not to startle you. What Johnny isn't expecting is your red rimmed eyes when you turn to glare at him for interrupting. You two were close already though, so it's only half a surprise when you fall into his arms a second after he asks what's wrong. And hearing you sob about your horrible day and feeling unlovable has Johnny's heart shattering. In his head, he's spinning through comforting words, trying to pick what to say to best comfort you. To assure you of how completely and utterly loved you are. For the moment though, all he does is squeeze as hard as he can, tucking you up against his chest. And reach out to scoot the abandoned gun away from you. You don't need that right now.
Kyle likes to think he's good with people. He usually is, but coming into his office to find you sitting on the floor behind the desk had been unexpected. You two were close, so it's not like you were breaking and entering or anything. But the look on your face is enough to wither stone. It's enough to render him wordless, so Kyle just levels you with a sad look. One that pleads for you to explain your hurt to him. And you do, and his heart breaks even further, if that's even possible. How could you think you're unlovable? You, who brightens up his day just by breathing, makes him laugh with just a look? You, who is such a wonderful person that he fell utterly in love with you forever ago. You think you're unlovable. But Kyle loves you so much. So much that despite how good he is with words, he panics and kisses you. Your lips are soft, and you're so perfect, and fortunately based on the way your eyes are shining after he pulled back, the kiss helped.
Alejandro is used to inspiring people. Making speeches, leading, getting people to follow. Being the head of the group. He's been Colonel Vargas for so long that he's become a bit isolated, his skill of connecting one on one calcifying until moments like now. You were yelling at him. In his office, shouting him down because he'd decided to host a Valentine's thing to boost morale. You say it accidentally though, in your stream of words. Seeing the poster had triggered all your feelings of being unloved and unwanted. So Alejandro, more used to letting Rudy talk for him, panics. He's faced down death, but you hurting like that is terrifying and inconceivable. And he doesn't know what to do. So he sticks a Los Vaqueros sticker on your forehead. It works to get you to quiet down, so now you're stammering and staring at him in disbelief. And then you smack him. But oh well, he thinks. At least you laughed. You should never think you were unlovable, of all things.
Rudy is tired. He is so, so tired. Trudging back to his office after a long day on patrol, he wants nothing more than to go home to his partner.* But when he gets in, he's greeted with the sight of you, Alejandro's secretary, sitting in the chair in front of his desk and crying your eyes out. Upon seeing him, you sniffle, jumping up like you're going to bolt. Clearly, you weren't expecting Rudy back. But he is back, and he levels you with The Look™. He's not sure what it is about the certain expression, but it makes everyone who's faced with it admit everything to him. Usually, it's used on recruits brought in after breaking rules. But you look up at him with the biggest, saddest, wet eyed kitten left in the rain look Rudy has ever seen a human being give. And you spill your guts. You'd been having a bad already with the lead up to Valentine's Day, but Alejandro had passed by and made one of his stupid jokes that had caused you to flee, insecurities about being unlovable flaring up. You'd hidden in here, thinking he had the day off. And Rudy is tired, so he just pulls you into a hug, slowly shaking his head. He'll tell you in a little how loved you are, especially by Los Vaqueros, and not only for who you are, but also for consistently wrangling Alejandro, which is a near impossible feat. Rudy also makes a mental note to punch his best friend in the face later. You didn't deserve this.
*ayyyy Unexpected Greetings reference (kidding. mostly. Poor Rudy just needs a vacation.)
Hey, sorry I’ve been inactive on my main account. Just wanted to make a small request to anyone who’d want to write it.
If y’all would be up for it, I would really appreciate a small one-shot or a Headcanon about how cod characters would react to a reader who thinks they’re unlovable. I have a preference for Nikto, price, graves and Nikolai but I love all the cod characters dearly so the worlds your oyster.
This could just be me growing in to an adult and no longer having the same tastes as my teenage self who used to devour x reader fics on the daily. I can recognise that. But fanfiction no longer has any of the joy in it than it used to.
There’s a lack of self indulgent satisfaction I get from reading anything anymore. In a vast sea of millions of stories, I struggle to find a single one that will ever fit my needs like I used to. And writing for myself doesn’t ever fill that void, just kinda makes it worse because now I’m no longer writing for me I’m writing for you guys.
I don’t know how to describe it into words. Just wish someone can relate.
Maybe it’s just this one comment section but I’m starting to see how no one takes religious trauma seriously at all.
I literally had someone say, out loud, that people who were triggered by preaching isn’t really trauma and they’re just uncomfortable with bible thumpers.
I went to a private Christian school for 12 years. I left that experience with ptsd. I couldn’t sleep for years because of the nightmares, and I had panic attacks consistently because I was afraid I’d run in to someone from that place. I was fucking horrified. Still a different person than I could have been. But that’s not enough, apparently.
This is a vent post, see pinned post for details and bounderies
Hey, I found this awesome VA who does audio roleplays and his voice is amazing and his acting is so good and the work he makes is unique and- oh he makes rape audios doesn’t he…
