egotober!?!: Day 16 Cards
He regrets teaching his loyal subjects how to play cards
Awww!

Origami Around
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
KIROKAZE

ellievsbear

JBB: An Artblog!
d e v o n

@theartofmadeline

⁂

shark vs the universe
styofa doing anything

Kiana Khansmith
wallacepolsom

roma★

JVL
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Misplaced Lens Cap
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

Product Placement

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ojovivo
seen from United States
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seen from United States
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seen from United States
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seen from United States
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@callmekingofthesquirrels
egotober!?!: Day 16 Cards
He regrets teaching his loyal subjects how to play cards
Awww!
NAYKT: Season 2 - Update 1
Summary - Several months have passed since they defeated the Author but the victory feels uneasy. Mark is still out there planning who knows what, Silver's soul is still missing, and some of them suddenly find themselves in possession of power they have no clue what to do with.
A new enemy is lurking, and the stakes have never been higher. Everyone is looking for something, but will they be happy with what they ultimately find?
A/N - this is the first part of the main plot of season 2, a sequel to Not As You Know Them: Season One. You don't have to have read s1, but I recommend it if you don't want to wind up completely lost. - This is the second attempt at Season 2, the first having been moved to a non-canon archive on AO3 and removed from canon.
Tag list: @mightnightmooon @thelittleautisticgirl
Like or reblog >>this post<< to be added to the tag list
The bus station is awful.
To one side of the waiting area, King is sitting (and I use that term loosely) upside down on a plastic chair. His legs are going up, leaning against the wall while his head and shoulders are dangling from the chair where a normal person would put their legs. His hands are folded on his chest as he watches the people go past.
Bim Trimmer/ King of the Squirrels 🐿 
Hey King :]
King works part time as a barista. Partly to try and reconnect with humanity, and partly to give Bing time to himself since he doesn’t like going out.
Btw
The fact that the location of the world’s oldest tree has to be kept secret encapsulates everything that’s bad about humanity.
There’s a story about that, actually.
According to the smithsonianmag.com, the world’s oldest bristlecone pine was a nearly 5,000 year old tree later named Prometheus. In 1964, a man named Donald Rusk Currey decided to use an increment borer to determine its age (a process that cuts a small hole into the center of the tree trunk, and is not intended to kill the tree). Unfortunately, the borer got stuck. He and a park ranger cut the tree down to remove the equipment, and when they counted the tree rings, they realized their mistake. Oops. This incident lead to better protection of the remaining bristlecone pines.
There’s some wiggle room about what can be called “the world’s oldest living tree.” The world’s oldest living single tree is the tree that the OP is referring to. Its name is Methuselah,and it is also around 5,000 years old. Since its location is unknown, nobody knows what it looks like. But it might be this tree here:
But technically, it isn’t the oldest living tree. Let me explain.
It turns out that root systems of trees can send up genetically identical saplings (aka clones) via their root systems. Like so:
Which means the original trunk can die, but since the root system is attached to other trees which give it nutrients, it lives on. The root system can theoretically do this indefinitely. So the tree trunks could be fairly young, but the roots could be large and very, very, very old. So the oldest “tree” isn’t a small grove, it’s a logic-defying forest.
I’d like you to meet Pando.
This male quaking aspen covers 106 acres and is ancient. I’m talking an estimate of 80,000 years. The trees you can see are just “shoots” he sent up, and their average age is 130 years old. He is his own forest. If trees could talk, I’d love to hear what he had to say.
He might be dying, due to insects and drought (hmm, wonder what could have happened to cause that). A section of Pando is being studied in an attempt to find a solution. But in the meantime, we can enjoy him for his beauty.
TLDR: Yes please, protect the trees from humans!
If I was to make some more Protection Verse aesthetics, who would you want to see?
King: You can literally lay in bed and eat a block of cheese like an apple and it’s not illegal
King: yesterday i accidentally kicked Wilford in the face while trying to catch my squirrels, and i couldn’t decide between saying “i’m so fucking sorry” or “are you okay?”
King: and i ended up saying “ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!”
King: it took Wilford two hours to get up and for Dark to stop laughing at me
Tag list: @undocumented-terriaki @ask-barkiplier-rp @supersepticsteph @penpaulkon6 @are-you-here-posts @markifucker-fischfuck @virge-of-death @anomalous-duck @risiskifi @squishy-anon @margarita-is-the-answer @kick-the-aj @hemooryctolagus
Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list
King has never been what you would call a social creature. A few centuries living on your own, focused solely on preserving the trees that are your lifeblood against the unrelenting development of civilisation, and joining what could be lovingly described as an utter madhouse, will do that to you.
When he’d moved in, the whole King of the Squirrels thing was to keep all those weirdos away from him. After losing an unending series of legal battles between fat cat politician types, and environmental weirdos who seemed a fair bit more interested in their own image than the actual outcome, King was more than happy to spend the next fifty years keeping to himself. And everyone else seemed to be okay with that.
Then Bing had moved in. Much like the Jims, he was extroverted, outgoing, very energetic and to be frank, tiring to watch. King kept clear though the kid would always wave at him and give a big doofy grin whenever he passed by.
Their friendship came to fruition one weird November night when Bing came kicking at King’s door, his hands carefully cradling an injured bat, tears dripping down his face. Apparently nobody else in the building cared about the poor little dude and Bing didn’t know the first thing about caring for an animal. Over the next two weeks, the two of them spent every day helping the little guy to get better until he was finally able to flap on his way again.
Turned out that sure, Bing was everything King had expected but that wasn’t all he was. He was a big sap with a love for giving everything a go, who wanted to do what’s best for everyone whenever possible, and made sure no one ever got left out. He was extroverted, but he was open-minded, he was a klutz, but he was imaginative, and though he was a little self-centred he was always well-meaning. Until recently, King and Bing had been nigh-on inseparable and the dryad can’t imagine how he got by without the dork.
So King knows, he knows, that the person stood at the head of the bed, eyes closed in concentration, one hand on either side of Chase’s head is not Bing. Sure he looks like Bing, is wearing Bing’s trademark outfit, complete with his iconic sunglasses and tank top, but the way he moves, the way he smirks, the complete silence. Just everything about it is wrong and this is not Bing.
Still he remains silent as Chase’s eyes finally flutter open, moving only as ‘Bing’ moves to leave, snatching this imposter’s arm and tugging firmly, holding tight to keep him in place.
“Who?” is all he says.
‘Bing’ pauses, turning back to look at the dryad before reaching with Bing’s human hand to press his thumb against King’s forehead, the dryad’s grip loosening in shock as the image of one person fills his mind.
“Who else?” ‘Bing’ doesn’t pull away but calls to the shadows, Phantom stepping from them. The dealmaker raises his cane and the globe begins to glow with his getting-to-be-too-familiar deep red power.
Chase yelps, but King doesn’t flinch as the air around them crackles and sparks with strangely familiar magic. A great weight lifts from both their shoulders as the power holding them in the building is erased.
“Give my love to Dark.” ‘Bing’ says directly to King as he and the world around them fizzles away.
Things that have come to light on the discord
King of the Squirrels (from Protection Verse) has no soul and is the ultimate introvert
What are you most intersted in reading next?
Not As You Know Them (main plotline)
Escape the Mother Loving Nightmare - Mad and Mare spin off (technically happening at the same time)
Jackie Boy Man: Isolation - JBM post-origins story
PROTECTION VERSE
Like this post if you want to be added to the tag list of Not As You Know Them (main plotline)
Host: True self-control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn
King: Why would the movie eat my popcorn?
Host:
King:
King: Wait, no-
Host: You’re a fucking dumbass