Mr. Puckerman

Yo, I'm Mr. Puckerman, but you can call me Puck. I teach World Religion at Cheltenham Academy. Religion is kind of my thing. I take a trip to Israel every summer. I'm also a bass player in the band, Insanulous. You can see us playing every Friday at the Triangle Bar. Ladies, I am single. So if you're hot and want up on this, just drop me a line. I'm always down for a hottie with a body.

[callmemrpuckerman]

Peer Mentors we need you!

Anyone interested in being a peer mentor holla at me because we need a bunch. 

[callmemrpuckerman]

Private

[callmemrpuckerman]

teachermercy:

First of all there was no comparing because last I checked you had a dick and she didn’t. I don’t know what the hell kind of drama this is but leave me out of it. I was drunk off of three bottles of wine when I’m used to 2 glasses at most. It happened and for a minute I believed in the hype that I was just as beautiful and amazing as you both said. I told her she was amazing and it was fun. I never said a negative word about you. Who I have sex with is my business and my business to tell. Just like who you have sex with is yours. But if you think that’s me then do us both a favor and just stay away from me. If this is what sex between friends create then I wish it never happened. Any of it.

I like how you’re sitting there blaming me for something I literally had nothing to do with. I didn’t tell Santana shit. I didn’t didn’t bring it up with her at all. I did stay away from you with drama. I never once asked you who you were or weren’t fucking because it was none of my business, even when you told me about Santana and you. All I said was it was hot and all of that. I can only go off of what I was told. You asked and I told you. So don’t act like I’m creating this situation because I literally didn’t care about who was sleeping with who until that shit was shoved in my face for no fucking reason. But you know, thanks for making me the bad guy.  

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Private

[callmemrpuckerman]

teachermercy:

Ok first of all Noah yes I told Santana because she is my best friend. I was trying to wrap my head around it just like I told you about her and I. And what other stuff did I say? That you were amazing? That I can’t and won’t compare you two because you are like apples and oranges? That I really like you and you made me feel so beautiful? I am so sorry Noah. So sorry that I said those things. Sorry that you brought this drama between us. We are friends so when you find my friend Noah, tell him I miss him. And it sucks he thinks so low of me, he thinks I would say something to hurt him. I’m not like that.

According you her, there was plenty of comparing going on, and that shit isn’t cool because what if I’d done that? I’d had sex with you, told I don’t know, Dani or something, and then said yeah, but it wasn’t nearly as good as when I fucked you? And then she came to you and told you. That just wasn’t even what that was supposed to be about. So it’s not about even about not being your friend or thinking low of you. I literally never thought any shit like that til I was hearing it from her mouth. So maybe you might want to tell your best friend to keep that shit to herself. 

[callmemrpuckerman]

santanaofcheltenham:

Okay. Well, I’m not gonna try to force you into something you obviously don’t want, so sorry to bother you and disturb your.. Reading Rainbow or whatever.

Yeah ok, later...

[callmemrpuckerman]

professorquinnfabray:

I don’t have a Netflix account, shoot. Maybe I’ll see if I can find some clips online at school.

Santana has Netflix or you can use my account. 

[callmemrpuckerman]

santanaofcheltenham:

…How is that different? Either way, you’re still actively not speaking to me.

Guess it’s not then. 

[callmemrpuckerman]

professorquinnfabray replied to your post:I’m legit sitting here watching Reading Rainbow....

What is Reading Rainbow? I feel like this is something I should know…? - Q.

You don’t know what Reading Rainbow is? That’s surprising. It’s on Netflix. You should check it out. Seems like your kind of thing. 

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santanaofcheltenham:

So are you still giving me the silent treatment or what?

No, because i’m not a chick. I’m giving you the “I don’t have anything to say to you” treatment. 

[callmemrpuckerman]

santanaofcheltenham:

It’s educational. Reading is fun..damental. Is it on Netflix or something?

Yeah

[callmemrpuckerman]

Private

teachermercy reblogged your post and added: “I’m legit sitting here watching Reading Rainbow. This is my life now. ”

And you didn’t invite me? You still mad at me?

I’m mad there was drama. I mad you made a big deal about me not telling people I fucked you and then you went and told Santana. And apparently you said a lot of other stuff that pissed me off too. I thought we were cool.

[callmemrpuckerman]

teachingmrevans:

Are you actually watching the ‘Reading Rainbow’ or did something else with the same title?

Dude, if I was watching porn, I’d just say  was watching porn. 

[callmemrpuckerman]

I’m legit sitting here watching Reading Rainbow. This is my life now. 

[nycadani-blog]

On the First Date || Harperman

[callmemrpuckerman]

nycadani:

Tagging → Noah Puckerman and Dani Harper

Time Frame → Wednesday, Sept. 3rd, 2015. 

Location →  Around the little Connecticut town and then back to Dani’s apartment.

General Notes → NSFW. NSFW (it deserved that second warning). Puck and Dani go out for their first date but find themselves sidetracked by each other. 

Keep reading

[callmemrpuckerman]

PM | Puck

Puck: Actually yeah, let’s do that. I need to clear my head.

Sam: Clearing your head is good. Want to share what's going on with it or are you the type that likes to work through your aggression?

Puck: I'm so tired of talking. I just wanna get out some aggression.

[callmemrpuckerman]

PM: You seemed a little on edge, Puckerman. Want to go blow some steam off at the gym? I'll get us smoothies after.

PM: Actually yeah, let’s do that. I need to clear my head. 

[callmemrpuckerman]

santanaofcheltenham:

Since you and Quinn are so fond of talking about what she and I do behind my back, go ask her what I said. I actually was not aware that I was hooking up with them like the day after, but answer this for me, if they’re getting some from you and calling me the next day, what does that say about you? How do you know it wasn’t before? I’m pretty sure I got with Dani the first week of classes and didn’t send that text until like a week later. And I had sex with Brittany the night of the dance. Have I ever asked you for anything? No. The one time I did ask you for something, you blew me off either way. Joking aside though, what do you want me to say Puck? I honestly thought I was helping because when she and I had that conversation, sex wasn’t even remotely a possibility for us and if she was into you, she should have gone for it with you. That’s what I expected any way since you have the uncanny ability to put your cock in any decent looking girl in a 10 mile radius. It was worth it and I won’t apologize for that. She made me feel like someone actually cared about me for once versus treating me like her own personal cum rag for a year before just tossing me out.

I don’t even care that you had sex with them. I care about the why which you’re avoiding entirely. You really expect me to believe that not a single one of them had to do with me? You’re a fucking liar. And if you wanted to know why I stopped fucking you, you could’ve just asked me. You wanted me to treat you like you were my girlfriend, but you aren’t. I was exclusive with you for almost a year, and somehow you can still accuse me of just tossing you aside. I just stopped having sex with you. I didn’t stop being friends with you. The moment you started playing the jealous girlfriend card, I remembered you aren’t my girlfriend. You were never going to be my girlfriend. I was just someone you were fucking passing time with because you’re a lesbian, and I fucking knew going into it that it wasn’t going to be some sort of long term thing, but I was still exclusive with you. But yeah, I fucking used you like a cum rag. You’re right. I deserve you being a bitch to me because I stopped allowing you to fill that space in my life where an actual girlfriend should go. I took you to New York to show you that I didn’t think that way about you. That you weren’t just some fucking booty call to me. Who do you think I do shit like that for? So fuck you, Santana. Seriously, fuck you and fuck this. You can act all high and mighty like I’m a dick for starting to fuck other women, but for a year, it was only you. So it’s whatever. If after everything we’ve been through you can honestly say that to me, then that’s all we need to say. 

[callmemrpuckerman]

santanaofcheltenham:

Why do you think that you’re important enough to my sex life that I would fuck people because of or in spite of you? First of all, Mercedes had me over for wine and cupcakes, started asking me questions about being with women after she told me about you guys, then proceeded to ask me to go down on her, then told me I was better than you. I fucked Dani because she’s gorgeous and was into it. Absolutely nothing to do with you. As for Quinn, when she told me she was thinking about sleeping with you, I actually told her she should do it because you’d make sure she was taken care of. I didn’t tell Quinn you slept with people. I told Quinn you slept with me in the past, but not so much any more. If I lied, let me know. I didn’t know that she would go and interrogate you and I’m not even sure why she even assumed you weren’t sleeping with other people in the first place. But you know what? I’m glad Quinn didn’t sleep with you. God forbid one woman in Cheltenham escapes a dicking from the great Noah Puckerman. I like her and she also just happens to be the only woman we work with that you haven’t tainted, I’m pretty sure. So I’m sorry if you felt like that messed something up between the two of you because if you were really in it to be her friend, it shouldn’t have. I’m really not going to argue about a girl with you, Puck. We’re better than that.

I thought we were better than that, but you must think I’m stupid if you think that I believe you didn’t do anything to fuck up things there. The point is you opened your mouth in the first place to say anything about anything. You don’t get a say in who I’m fucking. I told you that before you went and fucked nearly every woman I fucked like the day after I fucked them. Unless you fucked Brittany too. And fuck you. If they didn’t want to sleep with me, they could’ve said no, but they didn’t. I’m just tired of all of this because it’s your name that keeps coming up. And it’s just so fucking suspicious that it didn’t start happening until after you texted me telling me to stop fucking other women. I’m not your fucking property for one, and for two, I don’t owe you anything. So fuck it. i’m done. You can pretend all you want that you weren’t in the wrong, but you and I both know you are. i thought we were better. I never thought you’d insert yourself in my sex life with other women at all, but you did. That’s all we really have to say to each other. I hope it was worth it. Though you don’t even have to tell me. I already know that it was because at the end of the day, the only fucking person you care about is yourself.