The summer where I attempt to learn more about myself then I ever have before. 3
Day 5 of my summer experiment. woke up, couldn't focus on yoga so I just gave up. work was boring as usual. I kinda feel lost, like I don't know what Im going to do in my life, probably because I don't know what Im going to do with my life. I thought about Kevin and Luke a lot today. Im understanding more how to handle the situation with Kevin even though its hard for me. As much as it seems Im obsessing about boys Im actually doing really good. Im growing a lot in that way and getting proud of myself. Didn't eat that healthy at dinner like I should have.
Damn I miss sex. I think thats the only reason I miss Corbett in anyway. Kevin and Luke are different though. Ya I loved having sex with Kevin but he was my best friend and I just hate that Im losing that and as much as the two of us try to be friends its hard for me because our whole friendship we have been together, so our normal is us together so now we have to find a new normal. Luke however was different, this boy was everything. i have never connected with someone the way I did with him at Lake George. Laying out with him under the stars each night made me feel so alive, like there was so much more in the world. I felt so big but so small in the grand scheme of things. and the way he kissed was like my sole purpose in life was to kiss this boy. I had never been more happy. Now I might never see him again.
Still watching HULU, i need to chill it with the binge watching.
