Being an adult basically consist on having friends but, also you need to have filters with those friends bc they can know things about you, but not everything about you.
I AM GOING TO LIVE MY LIFE FILLED WITH HOPE FILLED WITH LOVE FILLED WITH THE BELIEF THAT THINGS CAN BE BETTER AND I AM HOLDING THE KNIFE TO THE THROAT OF THE WORLD AND SCREAMING "WE ARE GOING TO EAT WELL AND DO GOOD AND LIVE LIVES WORTH LIVING WHETHER YOU ASKED FOR IT OR NOT"
People will not see your worth until they have to see your worth. Do what you do with so much passion, motivation & discipline that they canât think of anyone else but you. When they do, give yourself credit.
Today Iâm choosing one step at the time. After such a beautiful day outside my city, away from everyone and everything I came back and what I found in âšhomeâš was a lot of noise and unnecessary comments, so I did what I needed to do to prepare myself for a nice sleep but I couldnât.
I gave myself permission to cry a little bit and then fell asleep. Today my brain has these wild thoughts about everything and everyone so, let me put out here what im thinking, probably itâll go away.
1. Canât wait to be on vacation
2. Both of my parents have covid but my mom has this annoying attitude of I wonât isolate and shit (like, luckily you got it in a moment when we know more about it, you got 3 vaccines, and strain isnât as lethal as the other ones, you can treat your symptoms like a common flu and youâre young and healthy enough to deal with it)
3. The people that I work with:
A. The girl has been through a lot of shit when she was younger and has the personality âštraitâš of dealing with everyoneâs bullshit, like if I was one of her siblings. She talks shit about what she doesnât know and she can be absolutely irrational with her words and actions. I try to be nice to her, but I donât give her any type of info cuz ⊠idk you donât need to be friends with all of your workgroup. Just get the shit done, be kind and leave.
B. The guy is an arrogant piece of human being. Heâs a junior doc and doesnât allow himself to ask for help when itâs needed and so most of his duties have to rechecked. He definitely doesnât know how the teamwork works. His very first week of training he said he knew how to do everything perfectly fine ⊠I waS genuinely surprised bc when I said that first time it was around my 5th month working there. Yet there I was during the weekend correcting him stuff so he does them again and we donât get in trouble.
4. Saw this tiktok about âwho you are today is the person you wanted to be around so it could protect you from the things that happened to youâ or so. And this unfortunately opened the box of the memories I didnât want to remember and spent most of my weekend thinking about the past and shit. But must say, Iâm so proud of who I am today.
5. My man is coming to visit me for a few weeks and just when I thought I had a nice study schedule, I was always productive, even working out and shit. Now I have to physically include him in my daily basis which YES I love him so much and Iâm so happy heâs coming but if you know you know thatâs all Iâm gonna say. I love him.
6. New projects are coming soon and Iâm really excited and anxious and excited. Yet my brain hurts thinking that Iâm not worth of the things Iâm achieving and that everything is a lie so I donât show I am a failure. Too good to be true. But Iâm also proud of myself!?!?!?!?!??
I was working and long short story this patient fucked up my black backpack with white paint (I canât even explain it cuz idk how the hell that couldâve happened, but thatâs besides the point at this moment); I got home so pissed after a long, horrendous day at work, i was upset to the core. After a few F him!, I took a deep breath when I was in bed and then I thought about why he went to the clinic in first place. His mom has a recently diagnosed with this aggressive CA and is currently on chemo, but she got COVID and apparently with the described symptoms itâs not the âmildâ variant.
He, when he came into the office, was nervous, sad, anxious, obviously worried about his mom, and the many possible outcomes the situation could lead to. After analysis and a chest CT, plus risks factors, she needed to be admitted in the clinic.
So, itâs not that Iâm comparing my life with his rn. Yes my backpack is fucked up but how am I going to compare something I can easily buy again or whatever to the magnitude of his, their situation.
Alright but this has been one of the most challenging years Iâve ever experienced. The way Iâve growing personally, privately and professionally, itâs beyond my eyes. One of the highlights Iâd love to mention is that Iâve become more open regarding how I feel, especially crying in front of people (something that I didnât do for years) and showing vulnerable; trying to verbalized whatâs going through my head and as of now people around me have shown empathy.
Another highlight would be how Iâve learn (and still learning) to spot the moments when I should remain quiet, a little bit contradictory with the first highlight but, sometimes we have to learn to choose our battles cuz not all of them are really worth the fight.
Iâm learning to say no, WHAT A RELIEVING THING TO DO!!!!âš but not purrrr!
Iâll definitely need to make a list of all the things that have happened but, overall, Iâm so happy with the person Iâm becoming. A safe place for my inner childđ
Sometimes you have a good day; sometimes you choose to have a good day.
However you see it, try and search for the good in everything, if not? Well, youâre able to see a brand new day and youâll manage to get through with it.
âEvery action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity.â
My attending has 31 covid patientâs that needed to be seen at the clinic the weekend cuz heâs outta town, I knew where they were and how things had to be done. TELL ME WHY I GOT A MESSAGE AT 10PM ON A SUNDAY from the attending telling me that I missed two patients and should have KNOWN about those Inter-consultation. I mean⊠telepathic cuz if he KNEW and didnât tell me, itâs his business đ€Ł
An actual footage of my attending telling me I missed those two patients:
Psa: theyâre all fine, he saw the patients already.
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