No one knows my next move (not even me)

Rain ||he/they|| level 21|| U call it unhinged, I call it enlightened. Demi and unlabeled 🏳️‍🌈 Fandom acct: Red Panda stiles

[callsignmystic]

Ever get hurt, but it feels so close to the past but it's not enough?

I find myself missing her pain. At least I could predict it. Her pain kept me in the loop, it was so damn addicting to be chosen. It hurt for her to go to them. It felt so good to be better than them. It felt good for her to come back and choose me. It felt good yet so shameful for her to show me off. Even when she had me by my throat, even if she used me I was useful. Valued. I was good. She would get me things so I looked pretty for her. She wanted me, no one could do it like me. No matter how many times she'd choose someone else she'd come back to me. I could keep her from choosing them if I was good enough. Her pain was saved for me. I was good enough to hurt and I was hooked on her pain.

I know she was bad to me, I know what she was doing was a crime. But sometimes I crave the pain she'd cause. I broke the cycle but I crave the feeling again. I want to be valued enough to hurt.

[fi-amannillah]

to be soft with someone and not regret it

[keytomind]

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤☝🏼

[animentality]

[callsignmystic]

Oh you're sad?

Have tea.

Oh your stomach hurts?

Have tea.

Oh your partner doesn't understand you?

Have tea.

Oh you can't sleep?

Have tea.

Need to focus?

Have tea.

[callsignmystic]

My Baba Nina's relationship advice: Leave him. Live life. If you do not leave, make him think. I made my husband think.

[chimyfucdachunga]

Someone tell me to stop before I get hurt again

[paper-wounds]

via

[callsignmystic]

I want to spend a life with you and laugh when neither of us can pick up a fork because our hands are too shaky from old age but you're not ready for that yet.

[hungry-hobbits]

"get ready for video games to become unaffordable" video games haven't been affordable for the last 10 years

[softlynumbed]

Mentally wired to push you away just to prove to myself I’m not worthy of true love.

[remanence-of-love]

[callsignmystic]

Whenever my Russian grandmother is mad at me she turns on french music of a specific artist. She can't understand french but she can understand I get the point. I can understand french and the only reason I'm crying is holy shit the lyrics are heart wrenching. She thinks I feel guilty.

[what-even-is-thiss]

How can I get a full time job as the wandering stranger that comes into town and gets by on odd jobs and has their face partially obscured by a hood and/or cowboy hat

[keltoid]

[callsignmystic]

And when I say it affects everyone I mean it. Deconstruct and decolonize. If you want proof look into your language.

Do you use the term "Master bedroom?"

That comes from slavery.

Do you use the terms "folk music" or "folk art" or "fine art?"

That comes from the need of white Europeans to separate their craft/art from who they considered to be less than them.

There are so many more but I cannot give them all to you, you need to research for yourself in order to learn.

[checkyourasianbias]

matcha originated in China about 1200 years ago, açaí has been consumed by Indigenous communities in the Amazon for centuries, and Dubai chocolate was invented by combining chocolate with knafeh, an 1100 year old SWANA snack.

western (usually white but seemingly not in this case) people love to call nonwhite foods suddenly becoming popular in western mainstream culture "industry plants" as if they haven't always existed.

this is orientalism.

[troublepunk-ldn]

i am 100% convinced that mobile phone/ social media bans for under 16s are an attempt to remove kids and teens from public life. this is not protecting kids this is locking them in houses with no escape from their abusers. the world is so hostile to teenagers rn

[callsignmystic]

favorite word?

basidiomycete, a large phylum of fungi(Like mushrooms, puffballs, or smuts/etc)