Calmly Causing a Calamity

My Ao3: Calm_Calamity

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Female Tobirama :3

Vaguely from a Red Eyes are Blessed AU I've been thinking about where Fem!Tobirama is nabbed by the Uchiha when she's like, eight? But they don't know what clan she's from or what her name is (and she ain't telling). She can't exactly fight her way out through an entire clan at eight years old, and they have some kind of specially made piece of jewelry engraved with fuuinjutsu that doesn't allow her to leave the bounds of the compound, so she starts plotting...

...Though eventually her plotting evolves from "escape" to "manipulate" when she realizes she's in optimal position to help make Hashirama's dreams of peace come true.

All it takes is a bit of research into previous prophecies given to Amaterasu's priestesses, some chakra, and wham! "Amaterasu" has decreed that Madara holds her favor, and is to be given a Blessed to wed. All according to Tobirama's plan :)

Tobirama, the morning after their wedding: "You don't kill kin, even if they're only through marriage, right?" Madara: "Of course not!" Tobirama: "Good. Then you should know I'm a Senju. Now hurry up and send a letter to Hashirama, I haven't seen my brother in nearly ten years." Madara: "wHAT-"

...

Btw, the reason she's wearing what she's wearing is mainly because I was looking at Art Nouveau styles and wanted to draw like that, but I also decided that the Uchiha dress all their Blessed in fancy draping fabric-outfits because why not? Also, I usually see Tobirama's tattoos drawn geometrically, but I did them more flowy in this to match the vibes.

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Art inspired by @jaytherad's fic "feather"

My weird abstract attempt at making art of what the inevitable monster babies Tobirama cooks up with Madara's handy dandy DNA might look like

Partly inspired by Pattern from the Stormlight Archives, partly inspired by the Witch's Labyrinths in Madoka Magica.

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Bloodline Baby Tobirama

AU where Tobirama is found in a bloodline thieves base when he's an infant.

The Senju clan are the ones that raided them after they tried to snatch some of their members (the Senju may not have a prevalent Kekkei Genkai like the Uchiha or the Hyuuga, but they're all rather hardy people with good chakra stores, which is a desirable trait when you're looking to breed powerful ninja).

They find him after the fight and figure "well, he looks kinda like a Hatake?" so they grab him with hopes of strengthening their alliance with the Hatake clan by returning one of the kids they're notoriously protective of.

Only, he's not a Hatake. None of the Hatake recognize him at all, and no one has gone missing anytime in the last few years, not to mention he doesn't smell like a Hatake. So now the Senju are stuck with a random baby.

Butsuma just kinda shrugs and decides that they can always use more cannon fodder soldiers. He plans to give the baby to some other minor family to raise, but his wife calls dibs before he can.

That's the backstory to how he gets to his place as the second Senju son in this AU, though I imagine he's not technically part of the line of succession until after Kawarama and Itama die and Butsuma needs a second heir so that Hashirama will already have one when he takes over.

Now the main thing I wanted this AU for is that it lets us give Tobirama have any Kekkei Genkai we want (-Hatake, Senju, and any clan that has prominent physical bloodline traits ig?)

The obvious route would be "He's an Uchiha with Albinism", which is why they don't recognize him, but I know Tobirama-With-a-Sharingan is done pretty often, so I feel like doing something different.

So... How about Tobirama with the Ketsuryūgan?

I know in a lot of Tobirama fanfics he's able to manipulate blood, but I don't think that's possible in canon unless you have a Ketsuryūgan. I don't mind it because, well, it's Tobirama, if anyone could figure out how to manipulate blood even without a Kekkei Genkai, it's him.

OR! If we want to get even crazier (and way less canon, since it's only from a single anime filler arc) we could give him Ranmaru's Kekkei Genkai (it doesn't have an official name), which, from what I can tell is pretty much "make this throwaway character have cool abilities with undefined limits far past what's reasonable", and I think it'd be hilarious to see the Uchiha Clan's reaction to it.

If you want an idea of the unnamed Kekkei Genkai's abilities, it seems to be similar to the Byakugan in that it can see (and hear?) from miles away and through objects, and like the Sharingan it can predict movements, but it can also track chakra signatures, counter genjutsu being cast on the user, mask the user's chakra, make fake chakra signatures, use red dust to effectively negate other dojutsu and even read thoughts!

Yeah, see what I mean about insane abilities?

And guess what it looks like! ...It's just a red glowing eye. It's got no huge transformation, it just glows red. That's it. no swirlies, no bleeding, no nothing. Just... red glow.

Also Ranmaru is from Kiri, so Tobirama having a water nature makes even more sense!

Tbh I'm growing attached to the idea, just because of how insane the Uchiha would get about it like "wHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN MAKE OUR SHARINGAN STOP WORKING?!"

I think Izuna would have a fit. He cannot believe his rival is doing this to him! How dare he! Stop cheating, Tobirama, it's not fair! he's supposed to be the one with the cool Kekkei Genkai, not you!! >:(

Yeah, it'd definitely end up becoming a bit of a crack fic in my hands lol

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Naruto Founders Portal AU

Watched someone play Portal recently, and since the founders are always on my mind I couldn't help but imagine them being put in Chell's place. They're still themselves, I guess it would be them from an Izuna lives AU that just got transported there somehow? Though for plot reasons they're unable to access their chakra while inside Aperture. (These are all alternate versions, they're not all there simultaneously.)

Hashirama as Chell:

He keeps doing weird things that technically solve the test, but still miss the whole point and make whatever data is gathered unviable.

Constantly soft locks himself. All the time. 

Refuses to incinerate the Companion Cube. Argues with GLaDOS for at least three hours about it before she gives up and tells him to leave it where it is, she won't destroy it.

He refuses to leave it until she drops several normal cubes into the test chamber to stay with it, so the Companion Cube "won't be lonely" when he leaves.

Really likes momentum jumps, goes "Wheeeeeeeeee!" every time.

Is genuinely disappointed at the lack of cake.

Tries to befriend the turrets. Very sad when he cannot :(

Beats GLaDOS in record time. Why? Because despite Hashirama's Hashirama-ness, he is still the God of Shinobi, even without chakra access.

At least half of his antics are really just him trolling GLaDOS and exaggerating his goofiness to annoy her.

Tobirama as Chell:

Constantly questions GLaDOS' methods. All the time. For example: "What are you testing for?" "What data points does this grant you?" "You are testing a single human's reaction to a bunch of glorified escape rooms, what about that gives you important information?" "If this is meant to be a test on the human psyche's reaction to stressful and dangerous environments without human contact, why would you speak to me? Even as an artificial intelligence you provide some level of socialization." "Any knowledge you gain from this would be dismissed by the scientific community due to you only having a single subject and the way you lack any sort of control group for comparison."

GLaDOS hates him. She hates him so much!

Ever seen a Portal speed run? The ones where the player literally zooms through every level at such a ridiculous pace that their movements go super smooth and it's trippy enough to make you dizzy? (Not to mention how only like half of GLaDOS' voice lines get heard) That's Tobirama. Nyooooooooooooom!

Incinerates the Companion Cube with zero hesitation. He saw the manipulative way GLaDOS wanted him to become emotionally attached to it right away and promptly decided to hate it. Because he's contrary like that.

Barely stopped himself from answering the Curiosity Core's incessant childlike questions (it reminded him of his students).

Would've taken GLaDOS apart to try to understand how she gained sentience if he had the time.

Madara as Chell:

His favorite hobby is destroying GLaDOS' observations cameras. Every time the last image they record is him with a manic grin, mid-punch. (Yes, he does it with his bare hands. No, I will not explain how he reaches the super high up ones.)

Brute forces his way through anything he doesn't have the patience for. GLaDOS hates it.

Gets into the behind-the-scenes areas early. Finds the clues about GLaDOS' possibly human origins that Hashirama was too distracted to notice and Tobirama sped past, but doesn't really care about them enough to investigate.

Curses out GLaDOS for every minor inconvenience.

Finds that the Companion Cube reminds him of Hashirama... Somehow? It's weird.

Hates the turrets. They don't do any close combat in the way he prefers, and he finds their voices irritating.

Wants to be back in Konoha already.

Throws GLaDOS' personality cores into the incinerator with utmost glee.

Izuna as Chell:

The one who actually solves the puzzles.

Snarks back at GLaDOS, nearly gets shoved into an incinerator several times for it.

Manages to gather enough info from GLaDOS to put together her whole story. Taunts her with it, but refuses to elaborate.

Carries one of the radios around. How'd he get it through the fizzler? idk, but the music is interesting and he likes how ticked off GLaDOS is when he manages to get it past another barrier that should've disintegrated it.

Breaks the Companion Cube. How? Idk, but he did it. GLaDOS wasn't pleased. That was Aperture Science property! Who cares if she was going to make him incinerate it, it's the principal of the matter!

Very offended when he did not receive cake. He kills her extra hard for not giving him any.

Later I might do a second part of this with Portal 2 :)

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Whenever I see pictures of Yuzuru Hanyu on pinterest, I think of Izuna. The really slender athletic body type fits him well, I think.

Not to mention there's a bunch of super interesting poses of him!

...And also this meme which feels very Izuna to me

(I imagine Tobirama is just out of frame, because who else would Izuna be saying this to?)

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Art I've made inspired by @weregreatatcrime's fics :)

Itadori - Chapter 1 - scrawly_times - 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Anime & Manga), Naruto (Anime & Manga) [Archive of Our Own]

Chocobo Ranch - Chapter 1 - scrawly_times - Final Fantasy XV, Naruto (Anime & Manga) [Archive of Our Own]

Fathomless - Chapter 1 - scrawly_times - Naruto (Anime & Manga) [Archive of Our Own]

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I've already sent this to y'all on ao3, but since I have a Tumblr now I'll put it here as well.

Art inspired by chapter 12 of the fic "Nothing and Everything" by @flor-of-desert and @bfhwantsblood

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Idk how Tumblr works still, but I guess I'll send folks the art they inspired?

Art inspired by "Fixing My Mistakes" by @rendiamberspirit

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https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calm_Calamity

I haven't the faintest idea how to use Tumblr, but I guess I'll do my best