✞ it/they ✞
Not advised for minors
Zionists/terfs/ableists/pedos and other weirdos will get blocked if clocked as such
Just a trash blog about whatever that is im currently interested in
🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼
Knowing that trans women of color started the movement in the united states and were literally immediately erased and excluded from what they started is the most deeply jading knowledge.
It is the original sin of the so-called queer community and it damns it from the cradle.
Without Stonewall, without the efforts of Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera, the LGBTQ Community wouldn’t be where it is today. Don’t forget the roots, don’t forget the catalyst.
and then TERFs wanna be like, “hmm well the LGBT community existed before Stonewall!”
but like…Becky, of course LGBTQ+ people existed before Stonewall. We’ve all existed since the beginning of time. But the movement got a shock to its senses, a jump-start, a rocket-into-space when that glass shattered via Marsha P. Johnson, and when Sylvia Rivera was up on-stage protesting guess who was on the sidelines heckling her?
The same fuckers who won’t ever reblog or acknowledge this
My apologies to the original poster as I photo captured this post to add to the thread-I reposted this last year for pride and expect to repost it every year I have left-it’s our history people.
Marsha P. Johnson allegedly died of suicide in 1992, and her death was never investigated. Even I, a mere prole, could catch the “she was murdered” vibes from the circumstances surrounding the discovery of her body.
Without a trans black woman, LGBT+ rights would not exist. Never forget. Never “pay it no mind”.
Autistic Burnout, Catatonia, and Late Regression Summary
I posted a survey a while ago about how autistic people experience what they or their doctors label meltdowns, shutdowns, autistic burnout, autistic catatonia, and late autistic regression. This is a final summary of autistic burnout, catatonia, and regression from 182 responses.
(Results are under a cut due to length)
Autistic Burnout
Many respondents (69%) reported experiencing autistic burnout, and 19% were unsure. The following responses are only based on the respondents who said they have had or might have had autistic burnout.
Experiences
Of those respondents, most reported that their autistic burnout caused anxiety (87%), depression (86%), more shutdowns (84%), feeling exhausted or physically ill (83%), more trouble masking (78%), more meltdowns (74%), needing to stim more (74%), more trouble talking (70%), emotional numbing or apathy (70%), more self-harming stims (59%), and more obvious stimming (55%). Others wrote in that their autistic burnout has caused difficulty functioning at work or school, being unable to walk, feeling guilt or self-loathing, worse executive dysfunction, worse social skills, incoherent speech, an inability to do "basic tasks", difficulty processing anything, slower reaction times, stomach issues, social withdrawal, and suicidality.
Triggers
Autistic burnout is often associated with major life changes. Many respondents connected their burnout to puberty (41%), going to college (39%), changes in friendships (37%), transitioning between schools (35%), moving homes (33%), developing new health problems (33%), getting a job (30%), trying to live alone (25%), changes in family structure (e.g., parents divorcing; 19%), entering grade school (15%), a loved one getting sick or dying (17%), changes in dating (11%), changing jobs (11%), graduating from college (10%), quitting or being fired from a job (9%), or getting married (2%). Others wrote in that it was related to COVID-19 or lockdowns, a long hospital stay, a new day program, receiving new services, their schedule changing, or potential homelessness.
Other burnout triggers included too many expectations at work or school (85%), anxiety or depression (74%), living in an overwhelming environment (72%), too many life changes (68%), trauma or abuse (62%), trying too hard to mask or masking for too long (62%), chronic illness or physical health problems (44%), or too many expectations in friendships or romantic relationships (41%). 9% didn't know. Others wrote in social rejection, trying to get more support, not seeing improvement from increased support, and post-COVID.
Helpful Factors
When respondents had autistic burnout, it helped them to engage with a special interest (63%), do less at work or school (61%), spend more time in sensory-friendly environments (59%), wear headphones, ear defenders, or sunglasses in public (58%), not try to mask (55%), stim more or more obviously (54%), do fewer chores at home (50%), make sure to eat, sleep, and exercise enough (50%), accept their limits (46%), set boundaries (34%), withdraw from relationships (34%), attend therapy (33%), take medication (27%), spend more time with loved ones (20%), journal (16%), or engage in meditation or mindfulness (13%). 8% couldn't think of anything that helps. Two respondents wrote in speaking less or using AAC more.
Duration and Frequency
Respondents said that their burnout varies in how long it lasts, it's still ongoing, or they're unsure (67%). Others said their burnout lasts 3 to 6 months (15%), 7 to 12 months (15%), 2 years (1%), 3 to 5 years (2%), or 6 to 10 years (1%).
Autistic burnout was most common between ages 13 to 18 (72%). Others had experienced burnout between ages 0 to 8 (10%) or 9 to 12 (40%). Much of the sample hadn't reached older ages yet, but many nonetheless said they experienced burnout between ages 19 to 22 (52%), 23 to 25 (28%), 26 to 30 (15%), or over age 31 (4%).
Autistic Catatonia
35 respondents (19%) reported that they had experienced catatonia, 59 (32%) weren't sure, and 88 (48%) knew that they hadn't. Of those who gave more information, 7 (10%) were formally diagnosed with catatonia, 16 (22%) were informally diagnosed, and 49 (68%) weren't diagnosed.
The following responses are only based on the respondents who said they have had or might have had autistic catatonia.
Experiences
Of those respondents, most reported that their autistic catatonia caused them to have trouble starting tasks (80%), become emotionally numb or detached (76%), need prompting (73%), have trouble moving (70%), have episodes of freezing (70%), become more depressed or anxious (70%), socialize less (68%), have trouble sleeping (65%), move more slowly (65%), have trouble eating or drinking (63%), have more repetitive behaviors (61%), have trouble talking or go completely mute (61%), have more rituals (56%), have trouble stopping tasks (55%), or have episodes of excitation or aggression (52%).
A large minority reported having trouble using the restroom (49%), having trouble going through doorways (48%), having more motor tics (46%), having trouble at school or work (45%), or hurting themselves or others more (42%). 24% reported being more impulsive. 52% had periods of normalcy when doing something related to a special interest, and 45% had periods of normalcy when doing something mentally engaging.
Most (63%) weren't sure if they had autonomic dysfunction associated with their catatonia. However, many reported overlapping experiences of dysregulation with their body temperature (18%), heart rate (15%), digestion (10%), breathing rate (10%), or blood pressure (other than pre-existing hypertension; 8%).
Those with formally or informally confirmed catatonia were significantly more likely to report moving more slowly (82% vs 57%), having trouble moving (86% vs 61%), episodes of freezing (91% vs 59%), having more trouble starting even simple tasks (95% vs 74%), needing prompting to start or stop tasks (91% vs 65%), having trouble going through doorways (82% vs 33%), having trouble eating or drinking (82% vs 54%), and having trouble using the restroom (77% vs 37%).
Triggers
Autistic catatonia is often associated with major life changes. Many respondents connected their catatonia to changes in friendships (22%), going to college (21%), developing new health problems (21%), transitioning between schools (19%), trying to live alone (17%), moving homes (15%), changes in family structure (e.g., parents divorcing; 14%), getting a job (14%), puberty (14%), change in dating (8%), quitting or being fired from a job (7%), a loved one getting sick or dying (7%), entering grade school (6%), graduating from college (6%), getting married (3%), having a child (3%), or changing jobs (1%). 51% weren't entirely sure. Others wrote in a hospital stay or graduating from special education.
Other catatonia triggers included too many expectations at work or school (51%), too many life changes (47%), trauma or abuse (46%), living in an overwhelming environment (44%), chronic illness or physical health problems (42%), severe depression (42%), trying too hard to mask or masking for too long (36%), severe anxiety (28%), too many social demands (28%), onset of a schizophrenia spectrum disorder or psychosis (24%), severe OCD (15%), or medication side effects (11%). Others wrote in small changes or not getting enough support.
Those with formally or informally confirmed catatonia were significantly more likely to report their catatonia was associated with going to college (43% vs 9%), having a child (9% vs 0%), or too many life changes (65% vs 38%).
Helpful Factors
When respondents had autistic catatonia, it helped them to get more help at home (58%), be frequently prompted (53%), let others make decisions for them (53%), spend more time in sensory-friendly environments (51%), engage with a special interest (49%), avoid changes or new things (46%), only socialize with a few people regularly (44%), wear headphones, ear defenders, or sunglasses in public (44%), make sure to eat, sleep, and exercise enough (42%), get more help at work or school (40%), receive 1-on-1 support (40%), stim more or more obviously (38%), follow a strict routine (28%), take medication (24%), attend therapy (18%), spend more time with friends or family (18%), take Ativan/Lorazepam (8%), journal (8%), engage in meditation or mindfulness (7%), or go off medications (4%). 8% couldn't think of anything that helps. One wrote in having fewer expectations placed on them.
Those with formally or informally confirmed catatonia were significantly more likely to report their catatonia was helped by frequent prompting (74% vs 43%), following a strict routine (48% vs 19%), avoiding changes or anything new (65% vs 36%), eating, sleeping, and exercising enough (65% vs 30%), journaling (17% vs 2%), or Ativan (22% vs 2%).
Duration and Frequency
Respondents said that their catatonia varies in how long it lasts, it's still ongoing, or they're unsure (77%). Others said their chronic catatonia lasts 3 to 6 months (16%), 7 to 12 months (3%), 2 years (3%), or 3 to 5 years (1%).
Regarding acute episodes of freezing, 12% didn't experience these, and 18% were unsure how long these episodes last. Others said freezing lasts under 15 minutes (14%), under an hour (26%), 1 to 2 hours (19%), 3 to 5 hours (5%), 6 to 12 hours (1%), multiple days (3%), or multiple weeks (1%). Confirmation of catatonia did not affect the likelihood of acute freezing, but those with informally or formally confirmed catatonia were significantly more likely to report that their freezing lasted more than an hour (35% 1-2 hours, 13% 3-5 hours, 4% multiple days vs 11% 1-2 hours, 2% 3-5 hours, 2% 6-12 hours, 2% multiple days, 2% multiple weeks).
Autistic catatonia was most common between ages 13 to 18 (61%). Others had experienced catatonia between ages 0 to 8 (22%) or 9 to 12 (32%). Much of the sample hadn't reached older ages yet, but many nonetheless said they experienced catatonia between ages 19 to 22 (57%), 23 to 25 (35%), 26 to 30 (21%), or over age 31 (1%). The group with informally or formally confirmed catatonia was significantly more likely to report experiencing catatonia between ages 19 to 22 (83% vs 43%).
Late Autistic Regression
56 respondents (31%) reported that they had experienced late autistic regression, 63 (35%) weren't sure, and 63 (35%) knew that they hadn't. Of those who gave more information, 7 (4%) were formally diagnosed with late autistic regression, 31 (29%) were informally diagnosed, 2 (2%) had been diagnosed with catatonia and so attributed regression to that, and 70 (65%) weren't diagnosed.
Those with formally or informally confirmed catatonia were significantly more likely to also have formally or informally confirmed late autistic regression (6% formal, 53% informal, 12% through catatonia vs 5% formal, 25% informal).
The following responses are only based on the respondents who said they have had or might have had late autistic regression.
Experiences
Of those respondents, most reported that their autistic regression caused them to have more difficulty starting tasks (84%), more difficulty coping with negative emotions (83%), more difficulty socializing (80%), worse working memory (77%), difficulty at work or school (77%), more difficulty tolerating sensory stimuli (76%), more difficulty coping with change or transitions (75%), more difficulty paying attention or remaining on task (72%), less ability to think quickly (71%), less ability to maintain basic hygiene (70%), less language ability (67%), less ability to manage eating or drinking (66%), more frequent or obvious stimming (64%), more difficulty coping with being physically uncomfortable (61%), less ability to manage sleeping (61%), more self-harming stimming (60%), worse long-term memory (58%), more ritualistic behaviors (57%), and no ability to mask (57%).
A minority reported more difficulty stopping tasks (48%), worse motor skills (46%), dropping out of school or quitting work (43%), becoming unable to live alone (42%), inability to make or keep friends (42%), more trouble with impulsivity (42%), more aggressive outbursts (42%), needing more sensory stimuli to feel regulated (37%), or becoming completely nonverbal or minimally verbal (27%). Others wrote in inability to be safe when home alone, be alone in public, drive, or be creative.
Those with formally or informally confirmed regression were significantly more likely to report having less ability to start tasks (97% vs 76%), less ability to stop tasks (69% vs 35%), worse working memory (90% vs 70%), worse long-term memory (77% vs 47%), become nonverbal or minimally verbal (46% vs 17%), dropped out of school or quit work (64% vs 30%), worse motor skills (64% vs 35%), no ability to make or keep or friends (62% vs 32%), less ability to tolerate sensory stimuli (90% vs 68%), more need for sensory stimuli to feel regulated (54% vs 29%), more frequent or obvious stims (79% vs 56%), more self injurious behaviors (79% vs 50%), more aggressive outbursts (67% vs 29%), more ritualistic behaviors (74% vs 45%), less ability to cope with transitions or changes (90% vs 67%), less ability to cope with negative emotions (92% vs 77%), less ability to manage eating or drinking (82% vs 56%), and less ability to manage basic hygiene (85% vs 62%).
Triggers
Late autistic regression is often associated with major life changes. Many respondents connected their regression to developing new health problems (31%), puberty (28%), going to college (27%), moving homes (24%), trying to live alone (23%), transitioning between schools (21%), changes in friendships (20%), getting a job (19%), a loved one getting sick or dying (13%), changes in family structure (e.g., parents divorcing; 12%), quitting or being fired from a job (7%), changes in dating (9%), entering grade school (8%), changing jobs (5%), graduating from college (4%), getting married (3%), or having a child (1%). Others wrote in COVID, poverty, or potential homelessness.
Other regression triggers included too many expectations at work or school (60%), too many life changes (57%), trauma or abuse (54%), anxiety or depression (51%), trying too hard to mask or masking for too long (44%), living in an overwhelming environment (44%), chronic illness or physical health problems (44%), too many social demands (30%), or autistic catatonia (22%). 3% wrote in burnout, and others wrote in a mental breakdown or developing schizophrenia.
Those with formally or informally confirmed regression were significantly more likely to report that their regression was associated with transitioning between schools (32% vs 14%), puberty (41% vs 21%), and autistic catatonia (34% vs 14%).
Helpful Factors
When respondents had late autistic regression, it helped many of them to get more help at home (47%), make sure to eat, sleep, and exercise enough (35%), get more help at work or school (33%), attend psychotherapy (30%), receive 1-on-1 support (26%), take medication (24%), get occupational therapy (22%), engage in meditation or mindfulness (9%), get help through applied behavioral analysis or positive behavior support (9%), get help through special education or inclusive postsecondary education (7%), get help through vocational therapy or job training (5%), go off some medications (3%), or receive electroconvulsive therapy (1%). 18% couldn't think of anything that helps. 2% said rest.
There were no significant differences between those with recognized or unrecognized regression.
Duration and Frequency
Respondents said that their late autistic regression varies in how long it lasts, it's still ongoing, or they're unsure (81%). Others said their regression lasts 6 to 12 months (6%), 2 years (8%), 3 to 5 years (5%), or over 10 years (1%).
2% now functioned as well as they did before the regression. 17% said some skills had returned, but they still struggled at school, work, home, or in relationships. 21% still had worse functioning in multiple life domains. 15% hadn't regained any skills, and 19% were still losing more skills. 26% weren't sure.
9% of respondents had also had typical autistic regression before age 5. Late autistic regression was most common between ages 13 to 18 (63%). Others had experienced regression between ages 6 to 8 (7%) or 9 to 12 (26%). Much of the sample hadn't reached older ages yet, but many nonetheless said they experienced regression between ages 19 to 22 (44%), 23 to 25 (18%), 26 to 30 (10%), or over age 31 (2%).
Those with unrecognized regression were more likely to say that they don't know if they've regained any skills or that it hasn't been long enough to judge (34% vs 13%). There were no significant differences in length of time or ages.
Overall Patterns
Comparing those endorsing autistic burnout, catatonia, and late regression, endorsement of meltdowns was very high across groups (91-95%).
Shutdowns were universal in those endorsing autistic catatonia (100%) and very high in those endorsing burnout and regression (91-95%).
Those endorsing autistic burnout and those unsure if they experienced autistic burnout were more likely to endorse autistic catatonia (20-22% yes, 34-37% unsure) compared to those who denied burnout (5% yes, 0% unsure). Likewise, those endorsing autistic regression were more likely to endorse autistic catatonia (38% yes, 32% unsure) compared to those who were unsure or denied regression (11% yes, 16-49% unsure).
Finally, those who endorsed autistic catatonia were the most likely to endorse autistic regression (60% yes, 20% unsure) compared to those who were unsure about catatonia (31% yes, 53% unsure) or those who denied catatonia (19% yes, 28% unsure).
Autism
Most respondents were diagnosed through a formal evaluation (68%). 14% were diagnosed informally by a therapist, 4% had a special education designation, and 14% were undiagnosed.
12% had a non-DSM-5 diagnosis, and 34% had ASD with no level. 17% had level 1 ASD, 2% split level 1/2, 1% split level 2/1, 11% level 2, 4% split level 2/3, and 3% level 3.
21% were diagnosed before age 8, 10% between ages 9 to 12, 13% between ages 13 to 15, 17% between ages 16 to 18, 14% between ages 19 to 21, 5% between ages 22 to 25, and 5% after age 26.
27% of respondents considered their autism low support needs, 34% low-moderate support needs, 27% moderate/medium support needs, 7% moderate-high support needs, and 4% high support needs.
Comorbidities
Mental Health or Neurodevelopmental Comorbidities
Most respondents had an anxiety disorder (71%), ADHD (58%), and depression (57%). Many had PTSD (38%), OCD (35%), a dissociative disorder (29%), a sleep disorder (24%), a specific learning disorder (24%), or an eating disorder (23%).
A minority had a tic disorder (18%), a personality disorder (14%), a schizophrenia spectrum disorder (12%), expressive language impairment (12%), receptive language impairment (11%), cognitive impairment (11%), bipolar disorder (9%), somatic symptom disorder (5%), intellectual disability (4%), or substance use disorder (3%).
Only 5% of respondents had no mental health or neurodevelopmental comorbidity.
Physical Health Comorbitidities
Many respondents had a connective tissue disorder (28%), a chronic pain condition (26%), a gastrointestinal disorder or injury (24%), or a post-viral syndrome (21%).
A minority of respondents had a neurological disorder or injury (19%), a musculoskeletal disorder or injury (19%), hearing or vision loss (14%), a lung or respiratory disorder or injury (13%), severe allergies (11%), an autoimmune disorder (11%), a metabolic or endocrine disorder or injury (10%), a skin disorder (10%), a cardiovascular disorder or injury (8%), a reproductive disorder or injury (8%), a blood disorder (5%), a spinal cord or nerve disorder or injury (4%), a renal or urinogenital disorder or injury (4%), immunodeficiency (4%), cancer (1%), limb loss or serious injury (1%), or long-term infectious illness (1%).
19% had no physical health comorbidity.
Other Demographics
12% of respondents considered their overall support needs low, 28% low-moderate, 34% moderate/medium, 19% moderate-high, and 7% high.
Most respondents were ages 13 to 18 (31%) or 19 to 21 (24%). Others were 22 to 25 (23%), 26 to 30 (17%), or over 31 (6%).
Most respondents were assigned female (95%). They identified as nonbinary (38%), women (27%), or men (27%). 7% were unsure of their gender.
32% were racial/ethnic minorities, specifically Asian (9%), Jewish (7%), Black (7%), Native or Indigenous (6%), Hispanic or Latino/a/x (4%), Arab (1%), and Cajun Creole (1%).
Most respondents found the survey through Tumblr (84%). Others found it through Discord (7%), Reddit (6%), or a friend (3%).
CW: Suggestive, Ninah Protagonist x Pale Visitor, Me rambling about said content (which isn't minor friendly)
I may or may not got really damn invested in an ongoing nsfw comic featuring Protagonist x Pale Visitor (if you know, you know) that is just so well written and beautifully drawn that I had a burning urge to draw something I thought could potentially happen in the same context…?
Only problem is- I know the story is going in a dark direction and will not end well, this drawing will age like milk once future updates will be up, but for now I just want to share this piece of sentimental self-indulgence before it happens for my own sanity.
Sigh I’m late to be talking about Mexico’s run from the World Cup. Can’t believe it’s been a week since Mexico lost and yesterday Norway not being able to avenge us. I love you Haalad and Quiñones 💔 If Argentina doesn’t lose I’m gonna crash out ughhhhhhhhh
Uhm yeah gay Russians but they’re Mexican yeyeyeyeyeyeyeye mexicano hasta el tope 🇲🇽🇲🇽
Matilda lost her blood mother early enough, — she died due to aggravated melanoma when daughter was only three years old, so Matilda was papa's girl and remembers grandma much better than momma! nevertheless, she needed a young maternal-like woman nearby and an object of adoration, — and her nanny Hortance, a mixed black Creole woman, became such a figure
Matilda considered her to be the one of the most beautiful women in their neihbourhood, and Hortance loved to brag about it
more about this lady (because you SHOULD know more about this lady)
Hortance's parents were house slaves in the Domergue household before the Civil War
Matilda's grandma, madame Marjolaine, freed them before the official formation of the Confederate States of America, but they chose to stay and work as servants, — they were used to this house
madame Marjolaine wasn't a perfect southern belle, she had a hot temper (c'mon, her father was a descendant of the Spanish pioneers, and in her mother's family was an adviser to a Choctaw warlord), she was Marie Laveau's friend, there even were rumors that AT LEAST one of her sons was the result of adultery... but she never mistreated her servants
Hortance was very fond of reading (that's why she wore glasses lol)
she did small chores around the house, and sometimes was caught reading novels instead of wiping the mirrors
once, before Matilda was born, she was spontaneously married to a freeborn black lad who bought a farm and piece of land
this marriage lasted only a year: Hortance was a city gal, not accustomed to hard rural work, husband often reproached her for ineptitude, and once even beat her, so Hortance said she had enough, packed her things (including a dress for the holidays, which she had never worn in this year) and returned to New Orleans literally on foot
in fact, she didn't get divorced, but since then she perceived herself as a divorced woman
Hortance had no children: three months after the wedding, she suffered a miscarriage and then never get pregnant again, just by her own will (she never wanted to carry and give birth)
when Matilda was born, she didn't pay much attention to a child, but BUT things got more interesting as the girl grew up a little!
working as a girl's nanny consolidated Hortance's position in the house, and quickly enough, she became her de facto stepmother
some believed that Hortance and Eugene-Gaston were in a secret relationship (she had no suitors, he was a widower and showed no desire to remarry), but nothing like this ever happened, even with the fact that he allowed her a lot in terms of upbringing and behaviour
the nanny and the father simply found themselves in a situation where two people who know each other well raise children together
