utter chaos

I have no idea what's going on at any given time. Jude, 26

[doradotcom]

walks around the dashboard with my hands behind my back like someone's grandpa

[shadowseductress]

the intimacy of being silly together

[camoooh]

How the bloody hell are ya? Miss your posts 😭

Ahhh! I'm so good actually! Life is great so I'm barely on here anymore. Thriving in the real world ❤️

[camoooh]

Are you still in contact with Dane (guywiththeroses)?

Nah haven't heard from him since he deactivated sorry

[valtsv]

me as a 14th century knight: this sucks i'm gonna fms (translator's note: fall on my sword)

[prometheus-let-the-fire-rain]

Alternatively: fuck my squire

[valtsv]

[remembers falling on my sword jokes negatively impact my knight's oath] ...fuck my squire

[moishe-pipick]

Centre For Useless Splendour

[randomencounters]

Place: the Centre for Useless Splendour

[henpillled-deactivated20241123]

i make a mean soup

[mousettte-deactivated20241119]

Now make one that is beautiful and true

[vampiresex69]

Lemon, thyme and arctic char

[underwaterbee-structure]

[ID: A photo of a fish, lemon slices, and herbs embroidered on a pale fabric with knickknacks visible in the corners. The fish is gray-green, like the stalks of herbs, with a red belly, tail, and fins. It is shaded in with streaks of embroidered thread. To the side are yellow slices of lemon. /end ID.]

[bugblast]

santa deniers on science-mas eve hearing charles darwin evolving down the chimney

[teaboot]

Okay so I'm a security guard, right

And part of why I like my job is cause I'm pretty good at deescalating conflicts without violence or police involvement

And that *might* be because my primary coping mechanism for stress is humor, and if the guy in the uniform isn't stressed out, usually nobody else is either

But anyhow today I witnessed a crime, which 911 had already been called for

And I'm telling the guy, you know, as he's running away, that nobody's gonna touch him, we don't do that here, I don't have any weapons and he can totally walk on out if he wants to

And he gives me this 'go-fuck-yourself" type answer, right? As you do

And I fucking

I fucking. Start danCING

I DONT KNOW WHY

I WAS JUST LIKE "aight guess I'll go fuck myself then, cheerio" AND START FUCKING DANCING

LIKE MY BRAIN WAS LIKE "Cool not being attacked, gotta keep the witnessed calm, gotta stay chill and breezy" AND THE PHYSICAL RESPONSE FOR THAT WAS TO SYART DOING THIS SASSY FUCKING JIG

I DIDNT EVEN REALIZR I WAS FDOUNG IT UNTIL SOMEONE POIU TED IT OUT AFTER

and it all ended fine and the dude is in custody and I get a call from my boss like "Yeah we're gonna need to send footage to police"

AND

FUCKING

THIS IS GOING TO BE SHOWN IN COURT SOMEWHERE

IM DOUNG A SRUPID LITTLE DANCE ON CAMERA AS THIS GUY LOSES HIS MIND AND ITS GONNA BE ON COURT SOMEWHERW

THIS IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING THING IVE WVER DONE

I HATE MYSELFD

[teaboot]

THE LITERAL FUCKING PROCESS

[telnaga]

[bathroomcube]

the more i try to explain gender to cis people the more i understand plato's allegory of a cave

[bathroomcube]

plato: the shadows are like a surface level understanding and coming out of the cave and seeing the actual objects is what being a philosopher is like

me: this is stupid and pretentious

cis person: girl is when pink and flower and boy is when blue and guns

me: oh no theyre still in the cave

[melynnwaters]

FUCK.

[whereserpentswalk]

Adding "oh no they're still in the cave" to my vocabulary.

[zamagi]

how did they know

[sourcreammachine]

john raul porge and gringo

[wingdingos]

middle aged lady on my bus just called someone's partner "your whimsical idiot boyfriend" over the phone . with sincere frustration might I add

[ufolliegy]

brand new pikmin character his name is newport and he loves cigarettes look for him in pikmin 5 and 6

[infectiouspiss]

little miss awful body temperature regulation is taking his hoodie off again

[infectiouspiss]

little miss awful body temperature regulation has put his hoodie back on

[amwult]

how it feels to ask a question at work