The Canada Doucheist School is...
Was there really any doubt? There were a lot of responses but none were as passionate and hilarious as U of T's. Here are just a few of the reasons:
1. Literally birds of the same feather flock together, walk incredibly slow, and block the sidewalk so you have to push through to get ahead.
2. They wear the jacket, drink Starbucks exclusively, use only the latest Apple products, and still complain that tuition is too high.
3. Even though the many different groups vary in ethnic backgrounds, they all appear to speak the same bird-oriented language used to give themselves a sense of entitlement upon ownership of the jacket.
4. Some of those jackets are REALLY dirty. Like grade-schooler-rolling-on-mud-at-recess-dirty. But you know, its CG, were supposed to not care how dirty they are or not show any sign of displeasure when those jackets get too close.
5. Sometimes you see the hood and the fur thing stuck out (I don't really know how to phrase this...) and people are not able to see in front of them. What this does, is cause the person to walk while only looking down, meaning everyone else on the street has to accommodate for this one idiot.
6. U of T is for the most part not socially friendly should you choose not to engage. That's fine, its like that way for most of life I'd presume (no effort, no gain). However, when people buy the jackets to try to assimilate into groups or find friends (sadly I've seen this) that's when you realize how anti-social some of these coyote killers are.
Other schools being considered as the Doucheist were York and Ryerson but a lot of their reasons were simply, "because there are a lot of them." Well let's look at some statistics from a 2011 study that calculated the number of full-time students:
University of Toronto - 57,400
University o Waterloo - 22,400
As you can see, U of T's number of students trumps the competition. Its higher number of students presents a higher plausibility of Canada Douchery. Furthermore, I tried to look into what schools have the most debt but realistically the average students finishes school with an average of $28,000 in debt, which takes an average of 14 years to pay off if you have a starting salary of $39,000 a year. But in case you're wondering, here is the average tuition per year for the schools mentioned above:
McMaster - $5,544 - $5,624
Ryerson - $5,605 - $5,686
University of Toronto - $5,613 - $5,943
University of Waterloo - $5,628 - $6,954
So there you have it! University of Toronto should be named as a tourist attraction for 2013 due to the amount of Canada Douches flocking around. We're signing off for Spring and Summer but aren't too sure if we'll be back next season. We shall see. Anyways, thanks for all the love and laughs and NEVER STOP MAKING FUN OF CANADA DOUCHES!
