Untitled

[candicewt]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/86697866

BrucieBat?

Bruce Wayne: We are not dating.

Batman: We are not dating.

The Batfamily: They're dating.

Gotham: They're dating.

The Justice League: They're dating.

AO3: They're dating.

Bruce Wayne: This is a nightmare.

[candicewt]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/86697866

BrucieBat?

After a misunderstood gala incident, Gotham’s media and citizens become convinced that Bruce Wayne and Batman are in a dramatic, on-again/off-again romantic relationship.

Despite Bruce’s repeated attempts to deny it, the Bat-family leans into the chaos, turning the rumor into a city-wide obsession.

Between staged “breakups,” disastrous public appearances, and escalating internet fandom, the situation spirals into legendary levels of misinformation—until Gotham starts treating their nonexistent romance like canon history.

[candicewt]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/83420161/chapters/229426911

The “Alpha-Flu” and the Day the Omega Had to Lead

A rare Alpha-Flu leaves Bruce, Dick, and Jason completely helpless and ridiculously emotional. While Bruce tries to patrol with a fever, Dick builds a rug nest, and Jason declares war on a toaster, Damian is forced to take charge of the entire Manor.

When Jon Kent arrives with healing soup, the sick Alphas immediately become territorial and accuse him of trying to steal Damian. Damian throws Jon out, orders everyone back into bed, and spends the day taking care of his delirious family.

By the end, Damian realizes he's become the responsible one for once—and decides the Alphas owe him a new motorcycle for his troubles. 🚑🦇🏍️

[candicewt]

Hello guyzz

I want some recommendations on twisted Jon like crazy possessive Jon over damian

Or historical jondamii

Like plz give me some recommendations

[candicewt]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/86167456

The absolute peak of the "Baba" Protocol™ energy:

Bruce: [looking at the Batcave covered in pink foam and a cracked Batmobile] "I am disappointed in all of you. Who even raised you guys??"

Dick: 🥹 (The 'favorite child' shield is failing)

Jason: "Well, in my defense, I was literally dead when I needed raising."

Tim: "I literally had to stalk you to get a job. I’m self-taught, Bruce."

Damian: [puppy eyes] "Even me, Baba? Am I a disappointment too?"

Bruce: [patting Damian’s head] "Of course not you, my son. You’re perfect. Go get some cocoa."

The Siblings: "ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW??"

[candicewt]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/86167456

The Baba-Protocol

Bruce Wayne is the World’s Greatest Detective. He is the Dark Knight, a master of 127 martial arts, and a man with a contingency plan for the literal end of the world. He is immovable. He is terrifying. He is Batman.

Unless Damian calls him Baba.

It started as a tactical maneuver. Damian realized very early on that while "Father" got him respect, "Baba" got him whatever he wanted.

Now, whether it's avoiding a school suspension, acquiring an endangered desert lizard, or convincing the Justice League to take a mandatory beach vacation, Damian knows exactly which button to press.

Witness the slow, hilarious, and heartwarming collapse of Bruce Wayne’s authority as his siblings watch in horror and the Justice League realizes that the scariest man on Earth is actually a total pushover for his youngest son.

[candicewt]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Kara: The Kryptonite didn't create feelings, Jon.

Jon: Oh no.

Damian: Oh no.

Jason: OH YES. 🍿

[candicewt]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/86132206/chapters/228448381

Ch6 of

How to Accidentally Strip a Robin in Five Minutes or Less

Jon spends two weeks discovering that Pink Kryptonite didn't make him say anything he didn't mean, which is a terrible realization for everyone involved.

Batman then forces Jon and Damian to attend a fancy Swiss Alps gala together because apparently "undercover work" now includes emotional damage.

Jon stares at Damian. Damian threatens Jon. Stephanie makes everything worse. Jason provides unwanted commentary. They slow dance for tactical reasons.

Jon accidentally confesses.

Damian accidentally confesses back.

The ballroom explodes.

As one does.

[candicewt]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/85925596/chapters/228323521

Ch 3 of Eternal Business union

The Infrastructure of Domesticity (and Other Hostile Acquisitions)

➡️ Alfred: Accidentally becomes the Chief Operations Officer of a relationship he never approved.

➡️ Damian: Designs a missile-protected penthouse, weaponizes wedding planning, and considers a blast-resistant popcorn machine a reasonable compromise.

➡️ Jon: Brings an entire tractor into Wayne Manor and somehow remains the least concerning person in the room.

➡️ Tim: Running on caffeine, regret, and illegally complicated banking infrastructure.

➡️ Jason: Treats the merger like a reality TV show and intends to provide live commentary.

➡️ Dick: Has fully transformed into an event planner and cannot be stopped.

➡️ Bruce: Learns that his son has moved beyond planning a wedding and into annexing territory.

➡️ Clark: Off-screen, but actively terrified.

➡️ Cassandra: Says twelve words all chapter and still delivers the emotional core of the story.

[johnny-depp-is-loved]

[candicewt]

Part of my upcoming fic

Where Bruce folds everytime Damian calls him Baba

[candicewt]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/86132206/chapters/227768186

How to Accidentally Strip a Robin in Five Minutes or Less

Damian: Father, he is attempting to bypass my utility belt’s security seal! He’s—stop that! Those are specialized pellets!

Jon: You have a very authoritative collarbone, Damian.

Jason: Bruce, use the lead! He’s got the love-grip!

In which a rogue scientist introduces Jon to the wonders of Pink Kryptonite, and Wayne Manor's structural integrity becomes a casualty of Jon's aggressive need to snuggle.

Or: The one where Jon gets the Super-Horny, Jason records it for the JL servers, and Damian fights for his life (and his pants).

[candicewt]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Bruce turning fatherhood into a tactical engineering operation

➡️ Clark losing the battle against “Batcave logic” invading the Kent farm

➡️ Jason monetizing Damian’s future before it even exists

➡️ Tim escaping to a volcano island labeled “for legal reasons”

➡️ Titans acting like Damian is a walking aesthetic phenomenon

➡️ Barry casually leaking the entire future like spoilers on livestream

➡️ Alfred silently running destiny like a perfectly brewed tea plan

➡️ Damian vs destiny… destiny wins by saying “you’re still iconic”

[candicewt]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/84949561

Wayne Market Value

“The kidnappers: ‘We want $30 million’

Damian: ‘That is an insult to my entire bloodline.’”

[papayafromtv]

scenarios Alfred Pennyworth has to be a witness to as a resident of Wayne Manor that the batkids have absolutely no shame in front of whatsoever part 14 (masterpost here) *Tim and Damian walking into the kitchen with empty mugs, putting them in the sink while Alfred cooks.*

Tim, smug: he does,

Damian, beginning to wash up: *hisses* i'm not arguing with you, i just don't see why it matters.

Tim: are you kiddi- Dami, it's your first crush!

Damian: it's not though???

Tim: ok- well, it's the first time a guy's had a proper crush on you at least. do you seriously not like him back?

Damian: *scoff* 'proper', this is Jon Kent we're talking about. he gets a crush on anybody who ruffles his hair. you should have seen the first time Jason complimented his ability to fly, i thought i'd have to kick him out the manor to get away from the puppy adoration.

Tim: he's such a sweet kid though! i thought you guys were really close, anyway, do you really not reciprocate anything romantic?

Damian: of course not. i have no interest in human relationships.

Alfred, interrupting Tim with a warning glare: and that is perfectly fine, Damian. relationships do not define us.

Tim, rolling his eyes: well yeah, obviously, all that aroace acceptance shit; i just think it would be cute to have him as a younger brother in law.

Damian: *eyebrow raise* so get over yourself and ask out the clone?

Tim, abruptly going red: i-i don't know what-

Damian, exasperatedly throwing the dish towel at him: oh for fucks sake, Drake.

Tim: IT'S COMPLICATED.

Damian, giving a disgusted look: ugh. everything's complicated with you people. fucking romance.

Tim, whining: alright, alright, i'm just mourning the potential Damian-Jon wedding, that's all.

Damian, as he walks over to open the fridge: *casual* ...oh. well there's no need for that, i still plan on marrying him.

Alfred: *drops his spoon*

Tim: ....EH?

Damian, blinking cluelessly: well it would be beneficial? he is clearly affectionate of me, which is good for loyalty, and his meta abilities make him very useful in a lot of situations, which makes him a good potential right-hand. marriage is just a business contract, after all.

*complete baffled silence*

Damian: plus, a relationship that has no possibility for producing an heir will severely disappoint my grandfather, which Jason tells me should always be a priority.

Alfred, genuinely speechless: ...and this is a plan you've... thought about?

Damian: *shrug* not much? it just seems a no brainer.

Tim: ...does Jon not get a say in this?

Damian: well i assume he'll have to say i do at some point, so yes.

Alfred: and you think this is an arrangement Jon would be ok with?

Damian: i'm sure he's fine with it.

Tim: how the hell would you know that?!

Damian, looking at them as if they're stupid: ...because he's in the manor and has super hearing? i assume that if he was against the idea he would have spoken up by now.

Alfred:

Tim:

Damian:

Jon, faintly from the other side of the manor: I'M UP FOR IT!!! WE JUST HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL I'M AN ADULT, DAD SAYS SO.

Tim:

Alfred:

Damian: i told you it didn't have to be complicated.

[candicewt]

Wrote this in my own version🫣🫣

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

➡️ Alfred: One collapsed soufflé away from retiring to the countryside.

➡️ Damian: Treats marriage like a tactical alliance and somehow gets a yes anyway.

➡️ Jon: Hears "future husband" and immediately signs up.

➡️ Tim: Attempts to explain emotions; receives psychic damage instead.

➡️ Jason: Convinced this is the funniest thing to happen to the family in years.

➡️ Dick: Already planning the wedding playlist and betting pool.

➡️ Bruce: One "betrothed" away from a complete system reboot.

➡️ Clark: Has no idea what's coming.

➡️ Featuring: super-hearing, emotional illiteracy, and a very concerned butler.

[candicewt]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/84964741/chapters/224307861

Alpha's instinct

➡️Bruce one bad day away from fistfighting a thirteen-year-old with laser eyes

➡️Jason and Kon treating the entire situation like reality TV

➡️Tim fighting Alpha pheromones while still collecting blackmail

➡️Dick calling the giant blanket nest “adorable” instead of a security risk

➡️Alfred bringing snacks to a superpowered custody dispute

➡️Damian discovering that being aggressively protected by Jon Kent is embarrassingly comforting

➡️Lois remaining the only human alive who can shut Jon down with one sentence.

[candicewt]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/83457356/chapters/219863366

Dami the Hottie and the Logistics of the Apocalypse

Key developments:

➡️Damian attempting “ugly cryptid cosplay” and still accidentally serving runway energy

➡️Jon treating every disaster like it’s a romantic comedy subplot

➡️Barry casually revealing everyone’s future trauma like it’s a weekend podcast

➡️Tim accepting his fate as King of Science Problems™ on a tropical island

➡️Jason turning “Dami-merch capitalist era” into his unexpected redemption arc

➡️And Bruce… commissioning a titanium playpen like that’s a normal sentence a man says unironically

Also important: Damian tried to reject destiny. Destiny responded with: “Nice try. Anyway, you’re stunning.”