Candle Lit Vigils

Trigger warning. These are my thoughts and feelings. Things I relate to and how I am trying to cope.

[interiorplay-deactivated2021092]

“The problem with you is trying to not think of you.”

— Interiorplay.Tumblr.com

[seashellronan]

i go to bed. i am consumed by overwhelming loneliness. i stare at the ceiling. i long for something i can’t name. i question if i’m real. i see a funny little meme on my phone and laugh hysterically for several minutes. i get too invested in an unrealistic fantasy. i pass out around three.

[candlelitvigils]

[candlelitvigils]

I have become a collector.

Inevitably the people we care for leave. Whether with intention or indifference or unwanting. They leave. And they take something away with them. Little bits and pieces. The more they mean the bigger the piece they take. And piece by piece I'm left dwindling into nothingness.

So I have started taking back. Bits and pieces as I come. Socks. T-shirts. Maybe a keychain. Little trinkets to surround me. Remind me that those people were real and whole. To replace my bits and pieces they've taken away.

And now here I am. A Collector. Broken and remade from the tiny bits of those I love. The ones that left and the ones that will. A moving trove of treasures that could only ever be precious to me.

[allclass-1-deactivated20210701]

🖤

[wicked-kitten-75]

I'm exhausted.....

[candlelitvigils]

I am useless with self pity...loathing...betrayal.

I am heavy with the weight of my torment and shattering under the pressure of my own raging mind.

I am exhausted by this never ending battle of nightmares and inner chaos.

Damaged and broken and terrifyingly undone...

"Please save me" I would plead... But who would hear it?

"Help me" I should say... But there is no one

[candlelitvigils]

I'm tired of feeling like dying...

[guiltygirl]

sometimes i feel like all i am is a disorder

[joli--coeur]

to anyone out there who’s struggling with having no friends — wondering where you belong in this world, searching for a place to belong — you matter. you are so important. and you will find your people or maybe just a special person who feels like home. it may seem like your loneliness will last forever, but it won’t. it never does.

[weltenwellen]

David Mitchell, Slade House

[beguines]

Yes, there is a place / where someone loves you both before / and after they learn what you are.

Neil Hilborn, "Lake", The Future

[streisands]

Yiyun Li, To Speak is to Blunder

[candlelitvigils]

[my-love-runs-deep]

“Maybe it’s not about the length of time you’ve known someone, maybe it’s about instant recognition on an unconscious level. Our souls know each other.”

— S.E.Hall (via leohearts)

[yuyuuyuyuu-deactivated20230726]

[glazedeye-s]

𝙴𝚊𝚟𝚊𝚗 𝙱𝚘𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚍, 𝙴𝚞𝚛𝚢𝚍𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚂𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚔𝚜 // 𝙼𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝙼𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚛, 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚂𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚏 𝙰𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚜.

[hatin]

via weheartit