Finding Glitter in the Darkness.

former disco darling; lifelong sparkle hoarder. angel mama. wifey. nyc disney princess & unicorn advocate.15 years as a makeup artist & beauty connoisseur. founder & creator of CandyBella Jewelry Collection. I am on a quest through the wreckage of babyloss and down the rabbit hole of grief and hope to find peace, trust, and glitter again. rainbow baby Sebastian born October 29, 2014, and Arrow Lux Seven due April 2017. welcome all ttc and babyloss mamas! we are all on this journey together. Instagram: candybellanyc

[furiousgoldfish]

victims of abuse be like, this person has now made me cry myself to sleep about 30 times, i have flashbacks of things they’ve done and said to me, they know how to hit me right in my worst insecurity and guilt so i feel horrible for days and months, their comments make me feel worthless and like i shouldn’t even be alive, and being around them makes me feel small and meaningless and sometimes suicidal but maybe that’s just me, maybe they’re not abusive? i have to give them benefit of the doubt, what if i’m not justified to kick them out of my life?

[candybellanyc]

“When someone makes you feel like you should not even exist, walk away. It does not matter who the person is. Move on. Look up. Live on.”

— (via missrandomwriter)

[torimotherfluffingmomo-deactiva]

My bestfriend.♡

[the-ghost-of-mr-dolphin]

Honestly fuck all this “i hate Valentine’s Day because I’m single” shit. Love is not just romantic. People love in so many different ways it is almost imposible for you not to have someone to celebrate Valentine’s Day with. Bake some cookies with your best friend because you love each other. Watch some cheesy romance movies with your siblings because you love each other.  Give your mom (or mother figure) a home made card because you love each other. Have a dance party to all your favorite love songs because you love yourself. Play with your dog, volunteer for a good cause, call a relative, do something nice for a stranger. There are so many ways you can celebrate love on Valentine’s Day without a significant other. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. 

[housmania]

Tip: This Valentine’s Day, don’t be romantic. Be Romantic! Recite Lord Byron on the edge of a barren cliff! Feel the gusts of the thunderstorm blow through your hair as you sob! Become a reclusive poet who trusts no one and is only seen at 2 am, wandering half-dressed through the streets and muttering in Old High German! Drown your lonely heart in laudanum and die at age 34 of tuberculosis, martyrdom in a small and ill-fated revolution, or wasting away from a disease that makes you look wan but poetic! Forget “forever alone”: You’ll always have your haunting past, your wasted ambitions, and the melancholy of a life unlived to keep you company!

[archimaps]

The doorway of the Hotel d’Espagnet, Aix-en-Provence

[timbllr]

[hidden-in-thoughts]

own the night🌉

[analife]

Nina Ricci // Ready to Wear - Fall 2017

[raeofpoiema]

I no longer believe love works like a fairy tale but like farming. Most of it is just getting up early and tilling the soil and then praying for rain. But if we do the work, we might just wake up one day to find an endless field of crops rolling into the horizon. In my opinion, that’s even better than a miracle.

Don Miller, Scary Close (via raeofpoiema)

[lovelustquotes]

[brianstowell]

Mount Adams, Washington, as seen from Mount Hood, Oregon

Instagram

[lovelustquotes]

[planetoargentina]

[magicalpretty]

[candybellanyc]

Mood

[bedtime-wishes]

[candybellanyc]

I am terrified that I'll forget what it's like to have you sleeping on my chest. That soon the chaos will be so thick that I can't SEE you. I ache for these moments to last so deeply it feels as if my heart will burst. You once saved me from eternal despair; you were my beacon of light after drowning in a void...and now it feels like in a way, I am abandoning you. My darling baby boy, please know that these precious moments of just you and me will always stay on my heart, and nothing will ever change how important you are to my soul. I am terrified, but I have to keep going. I have to see this through. My hope is that someday, this will all make sense and I will laugh at ever being scared. I think that's what he wants. And after all, you're here because of him. He gave you to us, and now he's giving Arrow to you. I am just the vessel.