candy floss esoFAGus

esophagus. it/he. proud author of 43% of all noirpunk fics on ao3.

[b-bro-deactivated20200502]

detective: [kneels down looking over a dead body] hm. gross

[socalyellow]

nicolas cage

[brown-spider]

I cannot believe how often this 55+ yr old man keeps trying to "im just a little guy" his way out of everything 💀

[dodobro]

"I want this old man on a stick"

Like... as a souvenir, a puppet, or a lizard?

[brown-spider]

Shish kebab. i eat him up.

[brown-spider]

consider: hobie brown and peter parker noir. and they're kissing

holy shit....

[brown-spider]

Havin a laugh with the mandem (and the boyfriend)

ref to this video

[brown-spider]

After watching Spider Noir (2026), turns out this is incredibly accurate, actually

[candyfloss-esophagus]

HUGE FAN of noir having backpain when he swings

[candyfloss-esophagus]

i gotta say the dead wife montages are KILLIN me

[candyfloss-esophagus]

big fan of the streetrat who is literally the only reason noir is still alive

[candyfloss-esophagus]

hesitantly watching the new spidernoir series and they're not doing themselves any favours by making this poor boy a ben reilly variant. where is peter. where is my beautiful peter parker who is 55 and smokes three packs a day

[candyfloss-esophagus]

they didnt even give the man a gun. his webs are fuckugly. he doesn't SMOKE. FREE HIM.

[candyfloss-esophagus]

the costuming in the spidernoir show is a fucking joke. tell me you never studied 20s and 30s fashion without telling me. jesus christ.

[candyfloss-esophagus]

hesitantly watching the new spidernoir series and they're not doing themselves any favours by making this poor boy a ben reilly variant. where is peter. where is my beautiful peter parker who is 55 and smokes three packs a day

[candyfloss-esophagus]

30 minutes in and ive not seen a single cigarette. unfuckingbelievable

[candyfloss-esophagus]

hesitantly watching the new spidernoir series and they're not doing themselves any favours by making this poor boy a ben reilly variant. where is peter. where is my beautiful peter parker who is 55 and smokes three packs a day

[candyfloss-esophagus]

THEY GAVE HIM A DEAD WIFE MONTAGE

[candyfloss-esophagus]

i want him shot in the head

*not sexual

[candyfloss-esophagus]

HOLY SHIT IT'S ROBBIE

[candyfloss-esophagus]

hesitantly watching the new spidernoir series and they're not doing themselves any favours by making this poor boy a ben reilly variant. where is peter. where is my beautiful peter parker who is 55 and smokes three packs a day

[candyfloss-esophagus]

THEY GAVE HIM A DEAD WIFE MONTAGE

[candyfloss-esophagus]

i want him shot in the head

*not sexual

[candyfloss-esophagus]

hesitantly watching the new spidernoir series and they're not doing themselves any favours by making this poor boy a ben reilly variant. where is peter. where is my beautiful peter parker who is 55 and smokes three packs a day

[candyfloss-esophagus]

THEY GAVE HIM A DEAD WIFE MONTAGE

[candyfloss-esophagus]

hesitantly watching the new spidernoir series and they're not doing themselves any favours by making this poor boy a ben reilly variant. where is peter. where is my beautiful peter parker who is 55 and smokes three packs a day

[cowboy]

A girl can be a handsome fella. This is obvious

[sagegarnish]

One of my fave ship dynamics tbh

Even tastier when the older one is in a mentor type role