Too. Damn. Gorgeous.

candace. writer. feminist. This blog is mostly feminist/equal rights and The Walking Dead. My queen and king/main OTP, Michonne and Rick Grimes/Richonne.

[michonnegrimes]

Rick and Michonne’s hands in 9.03 Warning Signs

[cybergata]

Sandra Dee Lutheran

[micdotcom]

Do this four times repeatedly and you’ll be out. But how does it work? There’s some real brain science behind it.

[discoverynews]

We’re trying this tonight!

[askragtatter]

It’s about time someone got around to uncovering all the cheat codes for this “human being” software. It’s only been out for like 10,000 years.

[queenofsabah]

?????????????

[potatogestapo]

I’ve used this technique for about a year, and I can safely say that it has efficiently transformed my sleeping habits from several hours of struggle to fall asleep, to passing out in a matter of minutes.

[rewritethis-story]

It’s a form of Alexander Technique. It’s a technique that was designed for actors to keep their body in ready working condition and give it the best way to perform. This is the method used to calm, and center the body. Once the body is at that point it can perform anything you want it to.

[queensimia-deactivated20181215]

Reblogging for later reference after I tried it earlier today to try to calm down. It actually does help a lot, not just for sleep but if you have problems with anxiety.

My default mental setting is “vibrating intensely in the background.” After doing this, I felt noticeably calm and relaxed - I wasn’t as fixated on my breathing, I wasn’t tense, my movements weren’t jerky and I didn’t feel like I had to be as tense as possible to be under control. 10/10 would recommend.

[orikomi-deactivated20181216]

me gonna try it

[aconitvms-deactivated20171225]

dont wanna reblog but insomnia is a bitch for some ppl so heres for my mutuals having trouble sleeping.

[clementive-deactivated20150318]

In Which Diversity Isn't a Myth

Ok. I’m tired of the typical vampire, werewolf and fairy.I’m also tired of the occidental-centrism in mythology. Hence, this list. 

I tried to included as many cultural variants as I could find and think of. (Unfortunately, I was restricted by language. Some Russian creatures looked very interesting but I don’t speak Russian…) Please, add creatures from your culture when reblogging (if not already present). It took me a while to gather all those sites but I know it could be more expansive. I intend on periodically editing this list. 

Of note: I did not include specific legendary creatures (Merlin, Pegasus, etc), gods/goddesses/deities and heroes.

Dragons

The Chinese Dragon

The Japanese Dragon

The Korean Dragon

The Vietnamese Dragon

The Greek Dragon

The Indian Dragon

The Polish Dragon

The Austrian Dragon

The British Dragon

The Ancient Dragon (Egypt, Babylon and Sumer)

The Spanish Basque Dragon

Of the Cockatrice (creature with the body of a dragon)

Alphabetical List of Dragons Across Myths (Great way to start)

Little creatures (without wings)

The Legend of the Leprechauns, The Leprechaun

Chanaque /Alux (the equivalent of leprechauns in Aztec/Mayan folklore)

Elves

Elves in Mythology and Fantasy

Elves in Germanic Mythology

Kabeiroi or Cabeiri (Dwarf-like minor gods in Greek mythology)

Norse Dwarves

The Myth of Loki and the Dwarves

Ten Types of Goblins

Goblins

Tengu: Japanese Goblins

Gnomes 

More on Gnomes

Pooka: an Irish phantom

Creatures with wings (except dragons)

Fairies

All sorts of Cultural Fairies

Fairies in Old French Mythology 

A Fairy List

Bendith Y Mamau (Welsh fairies)

Welsh Fairies

Peri (Persian fairies)

Yü Nü (Chinese fairies)

The Celtic Pixie

Angels in Judaism

Angels in Christianity

Hierarchy of Angels

Angels in Islam

Irish Sylph

Garuda (Bird-like creature in Hindu and Buddhist myths)

Bean Nighe (a Scottish fairy; the equivalent of a banshee in Celtic mythology)

Harpies

Spirited Creatures

Druids

Jinn (Genies in Arabic folklore)

Types of Djinns

Aisha Qandisha and Djinn in Moroccan Folklore

Oni (demons in Japanese folklore)

Nymphs

Spirits in Asturian Mythology

Valkyries

Lesovik

Boggarts: The British Poltergeist

Phantom black dogs (the Grim)

Demons in Babylonian and Assyrian Mythology (list)

Demons in the Americas (list)

European Demons (list)

Middle-East and Asia Demons (list)

Judeo-Christian Demons (list)

Nephilim, more on Nephilim

Mahaha (a demon in Inuit mythology)

Flying Head (a demon in Iroquois mythology)

Ghosts

Toyol (a dead baby ghost in Malay folklore)

Malay Ghosts

Yuki-onna (a ghost in Japanese folklore)

The Pontianak (a ghost in Malay mythology)

Funayurei (a ghost in Japanese folklore)

Zagaz (ghosts in Moroccan folklore)

Japanese Ghosts

Mexican Ghosts

Horse-like mythical creatures

Chinese Unicorns

Unicorns

The Kelpie (Could have also fitted in the sea creatures category)

The Centaur

The Female Centaur

Hippocamps (sea horses in Greek mythology)

Horse-like creatures (a list)

Karkadann, more on the Karkadann (a persian unicorn)

Ceffyl Dwfr (fairy-like water horse creatures in Cymric mythology)

Undead creatures

The Melanesian Vampire 

The Ewe Myth : Vampires

The Germanic Alp

The Indonesian Vampire

Asanbosam and Sasabonsam (Vampires from West Africa)

The Aswang: The Filipino Vampire

Folklore Vampires Versus Literary Vampires

Callicantzaros: The Greek Vampire

Vampires in Malaysia

Loogaroo/Socouyant: The Haitian Vampire

Incubi and Sucubi Across Cultures

Varacolaci: The Romanian Vampire

Brahmaparusha: The Indian Vampire

Genesis of the Word “Vampire”

The Ghoul in Middle East Mythology

Slavic Vampires

Vampires A-Z

The Medical Truth Behind the Vampire Myths

Zombies in Haitian Culture

Shape-shifters and half-human creatures (except mermaids) 

Satyrs (half-man, half-goat)

Sirens in Greek Mythology (half-woman and half-bird creatures)

The Original Werewolf in Greek Mythology

Werewolves Across Cultures

Werewolf Syndrome: A Medical Explanation to the Myth

Nagas Across Cultures

The Kumiho (half fox and half woman creatures)

The Sphinx

Criosphinx

Scorpion Men (warriors from Babylonian mythology)

Pooka: an Irish changelings

Domovoi (a shape-shifter in Russian folklore)

Aatxe (Basque mythology; red bull that can shift in a human)

Yech (Native American folklore)

Ijiraat (shapeshifters in Inuit mythology)

Sea creatures

Selkies (Norse mermaids)

Mermaids in many cultures

More about mermaids

Mermen

The Kraken (a sea monster)

Nuckelavee (a Scottish elf who mainly lives in the sea)

Lamiak (sea nymphs in Basque mythology)

Bunyip (sea monster in Aboriginal mythology)

Apkallu/abgal (Sumerian mermen)

An assemblage of myths and legends on water and water creatures

Slavic Water Creatures

The Encantado (water spirits in Ancient Amazon River mythology)

Zin (water spirit in Nigerian folklore)

Qallupilluk (sea creatures in Inuit mythology)

Monsters That Don’t Fit in Any Other Category

Aigamuxa, more details on Aigamuxa

Amphisabaena

Abere

Bonnacon

Myrmidons (ant warriors)

Troll, More on Trolls

Golems 

Golems in Judaism

Giants: The Mystery and the Myth (50 min long documentary)

Inupasugjuk (giants in Inuit mythology)

Fomorians (an Irish divine race of giants)

The Minotaur

The Manticore, The Manticore and The Leucrouta

The Ogre

The Orthus (two-headed serpent-tailed dog)

The Windigo

The Windigo Psychosis

Rakshasa (humanoids in Hindu and Buddhist mythology)

Yakshas (warriors in Hindu mythology)

Taqriaqsuit (“Shadow people” in Inuit mythology)

References on Folklore and Mythology Across the Globe

Creatures of Irish Folklore 

Folklore and Fairytales

An Overview of Persian Folklore

Filipino Folklore

Myths, Creatures and Folklore

Alaska Folklore

Spanish (Spain) Mythology

Mythical Archive

Mythology Dictionary

List of Medieval and Ancient Monsters

Native American Animals of Myth and Legends

Native American Myths

Bestiary of Ancient Greek Mythology

Mythology, Legend, Folklore and Ghosts

Angels and Demons

List of Sea Creatures

Yoruba Mythology

Ghosts Around the World, Ghosts From A to Z

Strange (Fantastic) Animals of Ancient Egypt

Egyptian Mythology

Creatures from West Africa

On the Legendary Creatures of Africa

Myths, Creatures and Folklore

References on writing a myth or mythical creatures

Writing a MYTHology in your novel?

How to Write a Myth

10 Steps to Creating Realistic Fantasy Creatures

Creating Fantasy Creatures or Alien Species

Legendary Creature Generator

Book Recommendations With Underrated Mythical Creatures

(I have stumbled upon web sites that believed some of these mythical creatures exist today… Especially dragons, in fact. I just had to share the love and scepticism.)

[this-will-be-the-gay]

dangxiaolong

[twifairy]

Dokkaebi/도깨비 in Korea are common creatures that come up in stories that don’t seem to be on the list of tiny creatures… They may be in the goblin lists though

[just-a-writer]

K

[thewritershelpers]

For those looking for something(s) outside the ‘standard creatures’ used in literature.

[dailydris]

[glowysweetfab]

Hell yea 😍😍😍

[cannavee]

FINALLY!

[michonnegrimes]

Rick & Michonne + Judith

If we could just have a few more years like this… quiet ones for her sake and ours.

[bookishdiplodocus]

How I turned an idea into an outline

With NaNoWriMo around the corner, I thought I might show you how I plotted my novel.

This is the story structure I used:

0% inciting incident

0%-20% introduction in the world, ends with a point of no return

20% first plot point: the hero receives his marching orders

20%-50% response to the first plot point

35% first pinch point: reminder of the nature of the antagonistic force

50% midpoint: big fat plot twist that changes the hero’s AND reader’s experience

50%-80% attack: the stakes are higher now

65% second pinch point: again reminding the reader of the antagonistic forces at hand

80% second plot point: the final injection of new information into the story to give the hero everything she needs to become the primary catalyst in the story’s conclusion (no new information past this point)

80%-100% resolution + final conflict + return home

I didn’t make this up. I think it’s by Larry Brooks, if The Internet informs me correctly. Fun Fact: once you pay attention to it, you’ll see this structure everywhere. Just take a look at any Harry Potter book, for example.

These points are the “bones” of my story. Next, I decided what “flesh” to put on them.

I simply made a list of things I like to read about:

Books about books and libraries

Magic

Quirky characters

Intelligent, fast-paced and sometimes silly

So, I combined this list and the structure points into a story that makes sense. Because I don’t want to spoil my plot / I am still to shy about my wip, I will make up a new plot for this post, so I can show you.

0%: The hero does something magical without knowing how she did it. She discards it, because everybody knows it can’t have been real.

0%-20%: We see the daily life of the hero: she is unhappy because all she wants to do is read, but she is not allowed to. She reads in the dead of night and is punished for it by her evil stepcousin. She finds a book on magic.

20% It all clicks together: she can do magic!

20%-50% The daily life for the hero changes. Instead of reading all night, she practices magic. She now loves books even more. She has little victories over her evil stepcousin, but hasn’t won yet.

35% The evil stepcousin finds out that she can do magic and takes away the magic book.

50% She discovers she can do magic without the book.

50%-80% The hero is not the only one who is bullied by the evil stepcousin. Her younger cousin is a victim as well, and he doesn’t have magic to defend himself. The stakes are raised, this is bigger than herself now. The younger cousin also wants to read, so they have several bonding moments over reading.

65% The evil stepcousin hurts the younger cousin, he’s in a coma now.

80% The hero discovers the evil stepcousin could do all these evil things because he knows magic too.

80%-100% The hero confronts the evil stepcousin, fights him off, nearly loses but wins in the end. He gives up and releases his power over the younger cousin who wakes up from the coma.

It’s not the most genius plot ever, but I literally made this up in minutes. So can you! And imagine the genius plot you can come up with if you spend more than a few minutes on it.

Then I calculated how many scenes I need in which part of the story. My wip is a YA or 12+ book, so I want it to contain about 75,000 words in total. I want my scenes to be around 1,000 words long to keep it snappy, so I need 75 scenes.

Scene number 1 (0%) is the inciting incident, scene number 15 (20%) is the first plot point, scene number 26 (35%) is the first pinch point, scene number 37 (50%) is the midpoint, scene number 49 (65%) is the second pinch point, scene number 60 (80%) is the second plot point and scene 75 (100%) is the last scene.

Some sidenotes on the 1,000-word scenes:

That’s more of a vague rule of thumb than a strict rule. If your scene needs to be longer or shorter, make it longer or shorter of course. My wip has some 2,300-word scenes as well.

Having 1,000-word scenes does not mean I have 1,000-word chapters, that would be really short. I will divide my novel into chapters after I’m finished writing my first draft.

For NaNoWriMo, maybe you could write scenes of 1,667 words, so you do one scene per day. A 50,000-word novel has 30 scenes of 1,667 words. Inciting incident is at scene 1, first plot point at scene 6, first pinch point at scene 11, midpoint at scene 15, second pinch point at scene 20, second plot point at scene 24 and scene 30 is your last scene. That’s just an idea, you got to see what works for you.

Then I made up in one sentence what will happen in every scene. For example: “They meet the dragon and he sends them on a sidequest.” Now my outline consists of 75 one-sentence scenes. This way, I prevent the problem of the sagging middle and other pacing problems and I still get to surprise myself when writing.

From those one-sentence scenes, I flesh out every scene into a first draft, using the process I described in my post How I never have to face an empty page when I write.

And that’s my first draft! I hope everything is clear. Feel free to ask me questions if it isn’t.

I’m gonna tag a few people I admire, who I hope are interested. If you aren’t, feel free to ignore me, or message me to take you off my tag list. If you would like to be added to my writing advice tag list, let me know.

Keep reading

[springsong-senpai]

Family fun day

The Walking Dead S9.03

The best family

[michonnegrimes]

@AMCTalkingDead: In this #TalkingDead BTS interview, Norman Reedus and Andrew Lincoln share their slightly differing opinions on Daryl’s new knife-wielding twirls this season.

+

[elencaorange]

Twitter

[unicornempire]

This is some truth laid down right here boy.

[okayysophia]

[okayysophia]

[jehovahhthickness]

Shout out to everyone that’s reading this and are actually actively applying this to their lives. Not just reblogging it and lying to themselves that they will get to this point “someday”.

Someday is TODAY.

[tiralatele]

[viejospellejos]

😂😂

[momofmusa]

[yemme]

This is hilarious.  My goodness….  He shook the bunny…

[nabyss]

😂😂😂

[thewalkingdeadgifs]

Entertainment Weekly: Carol (Melissa McBride) and Ezekiel (Khary Payton) share a tender moment together as a new couple.

[pure80]

[paulgehleart]

5/7/2018: Hey, aspiring fantasy writers!

Having trouble deciding what role is best to give your character(s)? Well then, here is a collection of medieval-fantasy type jobs (both historical and fictional) in alphabetical order that can help you choose the right one.

Abbot; Abbess

Academic/Professor

Actor

Adventurer

Adviser

Alchemist

Alienist

Almoner

Animal trainer

Antiquarian

Apothecary

Arbalest

Arcanist

Archer

Architect

Armorer

Artificer

Artist

Assassin

Astrologer

Auctioneer

Author, Nonfiction

Bailiff

Baker; Baxter

Bandit (Outlaw, Thug, Highwayman, Plunderer, Marauder)

Banker

Barbarian

Barber

Bard

Barkeeper

Bathhouse Attendant

Beast Tamer

Beastmaster

Beggar

Berserker

Bishop

Blacksmith

Bladesmith

Bodyguard

Bookbinder

Bounty Hunter

Brewer; Brewster

Broker

Butcher

Butler

Candlemaker

Captain

Cardinal

Caregiver

Carpenter

Carriage driver

Carter (Carrier)

Cataphract

Chainsmith

Chamberlain

Chandler

Chaplain

Chariot racer

Cheesemaker

Chimneysweep

City guard

Cleric

Clerk

Cobbler

Confectioner

Constable; Marshal

Convict

Cook; Pastry chef

Cooper (barrels/buckets)

Copyist/Scribe

Cordwainer (Shoemaker)

Crusader

Dancer

Deacon

Dentist

Deprived

Detective

Diplomat

Diva

Dockworker

Doctor

Dog trainer

Domestic Servants

Dragonrider

Dressmaker

Druid

Duelist

Dyer

Embroiderer

Emperor/Empress

Enforcer of Laws against Rich Clothes

Engineer

Escapist

Explorer

Falconer

Farmer

Farrier (horse shoes)

Fighter

Fighting Clerics

Fisherman

Fishmonger

Flagellant

Fletcher

Florist

Footman

Friar

Furniture maker

Gardener

Gladiator/arena fighter

Glazier

Goldsmith

Gong Farmer

Grave Robber

Gravedigger

Guardian

Guru

Hack driver

Harbormaster

Hatter

Hay seller

Headsman; Hangman

Healer; Midwife

Hellion

Herald

Herbalist

Hermit

Hero

Houndmaster

Housewife

Hunter

Illuminator

Illusionist

Importer; Exporter

Innkeeper

Inquisitor

Interpreter

Inventor

Investigator

Jester or Fool

Jeweler

Judge

King

Knife thrower

Knight

Lady’s maid

Lawyer

Leper

Locksmith

Logger

Loremaster

Mage

Magician

Maid

Man-at-Arms

Mapmaker (Cartographer)

Mason

Master of Ceremonies

Mayor

Medium

Mercenary

Merchant

Messenger

Miller

Miner

Minstrel; Jongleur

Money Changer

Monk, Nun

Musician

Necromancer

Noble

Noblewoman

Nurse

Nursemaid/wetnurse

Occultist

Official

Oracle

Page

Painter

Paladin

Papermaker

Parchment and Ink Seller

Pardoner

Parson

Peasant

Peddler

Philosopher

Pilgrim

Pirate

Playwright

Poet

Polymath

Pontiff

Pope

Porter

Potioneer

Potter

Priest

Prince

Princess

Prisoner (hard labor)

Produce vendor

Prophet

Prostitute; Courtesan

Provost

Pyromancer

Queen

Ranger

Rat catcher

Ringmaster

Rogue

Ropemaker

Saddler (Yo mama!)

Sage

Sailor

Salt seller

Salter or Daysalter

Schoolmaster; Teacher

Sculptor

Sentinel

Seraph

Serf

Servant (laundry, kitchen, cleaner)

Shaman

Sheriff

Shieldmaiden

Shipwright

Shopowner

Silversmith

Skald

Slave

Slave trader

Smelter

Smuggler

Sniper

Soldier

Sorcerer/Sorceress

Spinster; Spinner

Spy

Squire

Stable hand

Stablemaster

Stained-Glass Artist

Steward

Stonemason

Street Cleaner

Strongman (or woman)

Summoner

Surgeon

Swashbuckler

Sweet maker

Tailor

Tanner (leather)

Taxman

Templar

Thatcher (thatched roofs)

Thief

Thrall

Torturer

Town Crier

Toymaker

Trapper

Traveling Merchant

Treasure hunter

Trickster

Troubadour

Tutor

Undertaker

Vestal

Viking

Wagoneer

Walker or Fuller

Wanderer

Warlock

Warlord

Warrior

Weapons instructor

Weaver; Webster (fabric, rugs, baskets)

Wheelwright

Wisewoman

Witch/Wizard

Witch Hunter

Wood-carver

Wool-carder

Yeoman

If there are more you want to add to the list, feel free to reblog and share your suggestions. The more the merrier!

(Note: Some jobs listed here are probably the same as certain others but with a different title.)

[niambi]

I’m????

[alarajrogers]

Oh my God this actually explains so much.

So there’s a known thing in the study of human psychology/sociology/what-have-you where men are known to, on average, rely entirely on their female romantic partner for emotional support. Bonding with other men is done at a more superficial level involving fun group activities and conversations about general subjects but rarely involves actually leaning on other men or being really honest about emotional problems. Men use alcohol to be able to lower their inhibitions enough to expose themselves emotionally to other men, but if you can’t get emotional support unless you’re drunk, you have a problem.

So men need to have a woman in their lives to have anyone they can share their emotional needs and vulnerabilities with. However, since women are not socialized to fear sharing these things, women’s friendships with other women are heavily based on emotional support. If you can’t lean on her when you’re weak, she’s not your friend. To women, what friendship is is someone who listens to all your problems and keeps you company.

So this disconnect men are suffering from is that they think that only a person who is having sex with you will share their emotions and expect support. That’s what a romantic partner does. But women think that’s what a friend does. So women do it for their romantic partners and their friends and expect a male friend to do it for them the same as a female friend would. This fools the male friend into thinking there must be something romantic there when there is not.

This here is an example of patriarchy hurting everyone. Women have a much healthier approach to emotional support – they don’t die when widowed at nearly the rate that widowers die and they don’t suffer emotionally from divorce nearly as much even though they suffer much more financially, and this is because women don’t put all their emotional needs on one person. Women have a support network of other women. But men are trained to never share their emotions except with their wife or girlfriend, because that isn’t manly. So when she dies or leaves them, they have no one to turn to to help with the grief, causing higher rates of death, depression, alcoholism and general awfulness upon losing a romantic partner. 

So men suffer terribly from being trained in this way. But women suffer in that they can’t reach out to male friends for basic friendship. I am not sure any man can comprehend how heartbreaking it is to realize that a guy you thought was your friend was really just trying to get into your pants. Friendship is real. It’s emotional, it’s important to us. We lean on our friends. Knowing that your friend was secretly seething with resentment when you were opening up to him and sharing your problems because he felt like he shouldn’t have to do that kind of emotional work for anyone not having sex with him, and he felt used by you for that reason, is horrible. And the fact that men can’t share emotional needs with other men means that lots of men who can’t get a girlfriend end up turning into horrible misogynistic people who think the world owes them the love of a woman, like it’s a commodity… because no one will die without sex. Masturbation exists. But people will die or suffer deep emotional trauma from having no one they can lean on emotionally. And men who are suffering deep emotional trauma, and have been trained to channel their personal trauma into rage because they can’t share it, become mass shooters, or rapists, or simply horrible misogynists.

The only way to fix this is to teach boys it’s okay to love your friends. It’s okay to share your needs and your problems with your friends. It’s okay to lean on your friends, to hug your friends, to be weak with your friends. Only if this is okay for boys to do with their male friends can this problem be resolved… so men, this one’s on you. Women can’t fix this for you; you don’t listen to us about matters of what it means to be a man. Fix your own shit and teach your brothers and sons and friends that this is okay, or everyone suffers.

[dollbeshop]

The next time a guy says, “What? You don't want to be my friend?” I’ll text him this and then ask if he really wants to be friends or just have another potential girlfriend.

[sounddesignerjeans-deactivated2]

y’all I am living for these analyses where the new way to fight the patriarchy is to teach men to love each other and themselves

[astronomically-androngynous]

Im a communication student and can confirm the above is absolutely 100% accurate and it’s called agentic vs communal friendship theorized by Steven McCornack

[thecaffeinebookwarrior-deactiva]

Male Protagonists to Avoid in your Writing:  An Illustrated Guide.

1.  The Edward Cullen (i.e. the glorified stalker)

How to spot him:

He’s gorgeous.  Brooding.  Bejeweled with countless sequins.  He stresses over and over again that he and the female protagonist have a “connection,” are “soulmates,” or something else that you’d generally expect to hear from that one creepy kid who used to stare at you in class.  Similarly, in true creep fashion, he uses their supposed connection as an excuse to blatantly stalk her, and is narratively treated as nothing short of a romantic in spite of it because he’s attractive (and sparkly) enough to pull it off.

Examples:      

In the Twilight Saga, Edward is canonically over one hundred years old, making it extra creepy that he’s A) hanging around a high school for no particular reason, and B) dating a seventeen-year-old girl.  He uses derogatory terms about past lovers, attempts suicide when Bella tries to break up with him, and shows up at her home uninvited to watch her sleep.  Moreover, his systematic isolation of Bella from her friends and family is all-too reminiscent of real life abusive dynamics.  

How to avoid him: 

Read up on signs of abuse in a relationship.  This is a good thing to do anyway as a means of self-education, but it’s also important for writers who plan to include romantic subplots.  A good one to start with can be found here, at least in terms of emotional abuse: https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/10/13/21-warning-signs-of-an-emotionally-abusive-relationship/.

Try to avoid a blatant power imbalance.  Edward is stressed to be older, stronger, more experienced, and more intelligent than Bella.  Sometimes power imbalances are unavoidable due to species differences, but this can be countermanded by giving the human love interest qualities that make them valuable in other ways.

Overall, if you’re attempting to portray a healthy relationship, try to base it on an equal exchange of power and mutual respect.

2.  The Christian Grey (i.e. the glorified rapist)

How to spot him:

When I first found out that the 50 Shades of Grey franchise was originally Twilight fanfiction, I initially (incorrectly) presumed it to be a joke.  After I’d come to terms with the fact that it was not, my next thought was that it made perfect sense, because Christian is literally Edward Junior on steroids:  the same abusive brand of stalker who gets off on a blatant power imbalance, with the added unpleasantries of excessive wealth and bad BDSM etiquette.  Oh, yeah.  And he’s a rapist.    

Examples:

Christian disregards Ana’s request for a condom, stating “her body belongs to him,” threatens punishment when she refutes his attempts to discretely grope her in public, and at one point, ignores her safe word.  Throughout the book, Ana is pressured into sex she feels uncomfortable with.    

How to avoid him: 

If you’re going to write about BDSM, actually study BDSM etiquette.

Healthy BDSM relationships are forged on mutual trust and a consensual, mutually beneficial exchange of power.  Even if you are writing about BDSM, if you intend to write about a healthy relationship, be sure to base it off of these values. 

Just because a character is dominant doesn’t mean they need to be emotionally callous;  Christian completely neglects Ana’s emotional needs, such as her aftercare (i.e. the period of tenderness recommended after BDSM sessions to compensate for the emotional and physically taxing task of surrendering one’s power.)

In short, don’t use kink as a means of excusing emotionally unhealthy and abusive dynamics.       

3.  The Ross Geller (i.e. the entitled “nice guy”)

How to spot him:

He thinks his hot female friends (and only the hot ones, mind you) are owed to him because he’s “nice,” romantic, and intelligent.  However, upon closer scrutiny he really isn’t a particularly nice guy (i.e. he bullied his sister Monica and benefits from enjoys her emotionally abusive parents’ favoritism), is self-centered, and consistently places his needs ahead of her own.

Examples:  

The minute Rachel begins to find self-fulfillment in her career, Ross becomes jealous and hounds her at work, accuses her of “not having enough time for (him),” and generally tries to make her feel guilty for being successful and having priorities other than him. 

How to avoid him: 

Again, I cannot stress this enough:  mutual respect.  This is literally the foundation of all successful relationships, fictitious or otherwise.

Have your male characters support their significant other’s decisions and allow them to be happy for their success.  

Your male character’s significant other is allowed to do things that don’t necessarily involve him.  Make sure he understands that.

Intelligence in and of itself does not make a character a better person than his fellows, and intelligence does not have to equate the superiority with which Ross appears to associate himself.   

Just look to the healthier couples Friends churned out in its time:  Monica and Chandler, for example, love and respect one another’s goals, and are no the less interesting and hilarious because of it.  

4.  The Sheldon Cooper (i.e. the annoying autism stereotype)

How to spot him: 

He’s a bloated paragon of autism stereotypes.  He’s got zero regard for the feelings of his friends, considers himself superior to everyone, and is incapable of talking about anything but his own interests.  As someone who’s on the spectrum myself, he’s basically my personal pet peeve.

Examples:   

“His spot” on the sofa, his need to knock three times before speaking to the person on the other side of the door, etc.  These are stereotypical and inaccurate portrayals of some autistic people’s comfort in routine.   

How to avoid him: 

Research symptoms of Asperger’s in adults (and for god’s sake, stay away from Autism Speaks.)  Similarly, try and learn from actually people with Asperger’s, as anti-autism, “cure”-based sentiment tends to run high in allistic academia.  

Study the mannerisms of famous people who may have been on the spectrum, such as Albert Einstein, Allan Turing, Leonardo da Vinci, and Sherlock Holmes’s inspiration, Joseph Bell.

If you’re not ready to depict an autistic character, I’m going to say wait.  It’s okay to admit to ignorance, and it’s okay to wait to do more research before depicting a certain subgroup.        

Try to avoid inserting autistic symptoms into characters to use as comedic fodder.  

Asperger’s coded (and confirmed, by creators and cast) characters like Temperance “Bones” Brennan (Bones) and Spencer Reid (Criminal Minds) have their stereotypical moments, but they’re still successfully presented as lovable, intelligent, and productive characters;  look to them to see better representation of intelligent, autistic characters in mainstream television.  

5.  The John Winchester (i.e. the abusive parent with a redemption arc)

How to spot him:

The John Winchester is a textually abusive or otherwise toxic parent who damages his children’s lives for his own purposes, inflicts emotional or physical harm, and is shown or mentioned to be violent, controlling, and/or neglectful.  However, his redeeming/sympathetic qualities or otherwise heroic actions lead him to be narratively treated as a benevolent character and “good” parent. 

Examples:  

In Supernatural, John leaves his boys for weeks on end in motel rooms, sometimes over important holidays (and keep in mind that this was in the 80s and 90s, when child sexual abuse was at an all-time high.)  He often places his eldest son as the soul caregiver of his other child, despite the fact that he was a child too at the time, and left them both alone with loaded firearms. He also uses unfairly harsh punishments, such as leaving his young son alone at a boy’s home for an entire summer because he stole food for himself and his brother.  His son literally, unironically realized he was being possessed by a demonic entity when it said it was proud of him. 

How to avoid him:    

Educate yourself on the different definitions of abuse (emotional, verbal, physical, etc.) and what qualifies as each.  Psychology Today is a great resource for this (they have some rudimentary definitions here:  https://www.psychologytoday.com/conditions/child-abuse.)   

Feel free to endow abusive parents with sympathetic qualities (in fact, please do;  100% evil characters tend to be campy, boring, and/or unintentionally hilarious) but be aware that no sympathetic qualities negate or justify child abuse.

Please, for the love of God, don’t use the “he was doing his best” excuse as a resolution.  Many abusive parents legitimately are doing their best, and many abused children are acutely aware of this.  It really doesn’t provide much comfort.

Remember that abused children frequently refuse to turn on their parents, often defending them long into their adulthood.  The child’s forgiveness does not equate the parent’s redemption.  

Similarly, I’d personally recommend staying away from the “I can finally forgive him” trope as well;  it’s done to death, and often frustrating to real-life survivors. 

Before the Meninsits™ come for me about this, I am going to be writing a list of female character archetypes as well, and then make lists of positive attributes to include in male and female characters, respectively, to provide a counterpoint.  I might also make a part two of this post for all the other characters I hate, because I fear it would get too long. 

In the meantime, there will be essays like this published at least once every other week, so be sure to follow my blog and stay tuned for future writing advice and observations!

8/7/17:  Updating with the link to the female counterpart post, because people keep asking me for it.  Read it here!  

[tiralatele]

[mordepv-deactivated20180117]

Coexist

[conallcd117]

this what i picture world peace looks like

[garbage-senpai]

This is where I want to be

[weezley]

Tiny woman in pink coat is literally me in 50 years

[fousheezy]

this is such a pure video I want to watch it every time I give up on humanity

[thaebae]

i love