@cannibaljanitor - Tumblr Blog

partially-managed mental illness is so fucking funny i'll be sitting around doing my job and suddenly think "wow i hate myself" and immediately get confused because, like, that's not TRUE! i love myself so much. who are you to talk to me like that

captain-price-returns

yellow-cat

(voice of a person spiralling) its embarrassing but i still havent figured out if its ok for me to be alive

silvermoon424

This tweet read me to filth

hotvampireadjacent

snorlaxatives

i think one of the best parts about being a teenager in the early to mid 2010s was that cigarettes were definitely not cool anymore and vapes hadn’t popularized yet so my lungs made it out of my peak impressionable years relatively unscathed

kaiyves-backup

lazer-exe

I'm gonna say it, I do think that even the laziest person imaginable should have a roof over their head, food in their stomach, and access to healthcare

pixiecaps

like and rb to cause another abortion

dogpuppy

At the local hamburger shop and they said yelled out “order 167!” And three middle school age kids yelled in perfect unison “ 6 7!” Life is sometimes so beautiful

moisterpeggingchampion

If you reference 67 you deserve to be executed on the spot tbh

dogpuppy

If I was king for a day the first thing I would do would be to sentence you to a life full of love and understanding.

paverics

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

paverics

comedians can only dream of writing something this funny

triviallytrue

in retrospect it's pretty funny that the most used computer port for many years just completely sucked shit to the point of there being normie memes about it

triviallytrue

we as a society lived like this for years and years

phaeton-flier

I mean when your biggest tech issue is "takes an extra 10 seconds (at most) to plug in if you're not paying attention" that's pretty good! Imagine if you had a printer and the printer's biggest problem was that the paper took a few tries to insert into the tray. You'd want to fuck that printer.

triviallytrue

I'd want to fuck that printer.

chicken-delight

solardrake

i am going to do it

solardrake

ah! ah ooh hoo oh ah ah

solardrake

it a litle bit cold

powerjock

making posts about how beer tastes bad is a lot like that painting of a jester harassing a bunch of dogs while leaning over a wall, except the jester is below the dogs and trying so hard to reach them, and all the dogs are extremely beautiful and strong, and have a wonderful community built on love, and they never want for anything. they never want for anything.