Waste Of Breath

[officialspec]

you call yourself a gamer sometimes but have never even eaten a cartridge, colouring makes you want to die, and u dip the blunt in milk

I DIP THE 

WHAT

[egberts]

idk what’s funnier, pets with stereotypical human names like bryan and mckayla or pets with completely ridiculous names like hamburger and concrete

[thelovers-thedreamers-and-me]

counterpoint- both, one of each. “these are my cats, switchboard and gary.”

[fishbowltwo]

gay ppl who inject the concept of homophobia into the social structures of their magical fantasy worlds bc they want to use their own work as an outlet to talk and vent a little about their personal experiences:

straight ppl who inject the concept of homophobia into the social structures of their magical fantasy worlds bc the concept of gay ppl being happy and accepted is too “unrealistic” and they have absolutely nothing to actually say about the issue and just included it for the sake of watching us suffer: 

[guildwars2]

Some of you have requested a larger version of the Pride Month logo icon–here it is! 

[foxfamilyfeatures-blog]

[4lung]

Gay Aunt Jane's Hideous Crawlspace of Violent Secrets, by Gay Aunt Jane

9 track album

She’s here. 

[molsno]

jojo’s bizarre adventure: episode 1

jojo’s bizarre adventure: episode 57

[metalgirlysolid]

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Episode 84

[officialjiggly]

Wtf…

[skeletim]

holy SHIT

[swan2swan]

Do not doubt a god.

[dalecooper-official]

I don’t get it

[commandtower-solring-go-deactiv]

The original Twitch plays pokemon was a Twitch based event from a few years back where users of the Twitch Chat could submit button presses based on the layout of an old Game Boy to play Pokemon Red.

Eventually they did manage to beat the game. But along the way it had sparked a huge following and somehow developed it’s own lore based on the pokemon caught and the names they were given. However, at Mount Moon, Twitch decided to take the Helix Fossil, an item that could be used to acquire an Omanyte later in the game. 

Due to the nature of the system, a lot of the time the character just would walk around in circles for hours on end, and one thing that would happen constantly would be that they would open their item menu and try to ‘use’ the Helix Fossil. Since the item had no function, people adopted the idea that they were ‘consulting’ the Helix Fossil for advice, and that it was their lord and saviour.

What makes this Lady Helix so incredible is that, there was an incredibly small chance that they would get to Wonder Trade. And knowing wonder trade, the pokemon you’ll get in return is impossible to predetermine. So for not only them to get an Omanyte, is amazing. But the fact that that Omanyte references explicitly the events of he previous TPP, is nuts 

[dalecooper-official]

I knew that Twitch plays Pokémon was wild I had no idea that the lore ran this deep. Haha that’s amazing

[commandtower-solring-go-deactiv]

Oh it gets way better. Due to the random arse nicknames the pokemon got, they adopted monikers to go with it. I’ll run through a couple

ABBBBBBBK( was the starter pokemon, Charmander and was nicknamed Abby. However was released.

JLVWNNOOOO was the player’s Ratata, nicknamed Jay Leno. It was released with Abby, following due to loyalty

aaabaaajss was the TPP Pidgeot, the strongest pkemon on the team, and was chosen by the Helix Fossile. It was nicknamed Bird Jesus. 

Eevee the false prophet, sent by the Dome Fossil. Evolved into Flareon and was released

AATTVVV was the team’s Venomoth, lovingly nicknamed the All Terrain Venomoth. One of the final party.

AA-j was the team’s Zapdos, caught with a masterball and was dubbed Battery Jesus. however, he was a false prophet. Only a short time after it’s capture on the 11th day were a great deal of pokemon were released. It did, however, make it to the end of the game.

AAAAAAAAAA or also known as The Fonz was also one of the last members in the party. A Nidoking that helped leave the team to victory.

I only saw a little bit of the actual stream, but I followed the whole thing. it was amazing. 

[4lung]

when i die fuck it i wanna go to hell cause im a penis sucker. im worthless.

When I die, fuck it. I want to go to Hell, because; I am a penis sucker. I am worthless.

[adainesjacket]

hey have i ever told y’all about my cursed apartment building

cursed how, you say???? well, here’s the thing: no-one can fuckin see it. let me explain further

i live in a tiny flat in a big red brick building with huge windows. it has a driveway with two columns on either side - not a thing you usually see in this area. it is opposite a bus stop and several corner shops. it is on a main, busy road. most significantly, it is attached to a church. a well-known church with a big pink sign on the front.

all things that would make it easy to spot, right???? like if i gave that list of distinguishing features to someone along with my address then they’d be able to find my flat easily, right??? well APPARENTLY NOT

we have never once had a delivery to our flat (outside of the usual postal service) where we haven’t been called by a lost courier 

usually, they are about thirty seconds away. “i’m by the church and i don’t know where to go from here,” they say. so we tell them, “it’s the building right next to the church!! the one you’re outside. that church. it’s the next building along. it’s opposite a bus stop and it has a driveway with two big columns.” 

without fail, they call back 5-10 minutes later, still lost.

i have answered calls from both lost delivery people and friends where i’ve been able to see them standing in front of the driveway, from my window

a friend of mine once drove past my building three times, while on the phone to me, getting increasingly panicked that she couldn’t figure out where she was going. she parked in a nearby road and i had to walk to her car and guide her to the driveway

however, my flatmate and i found this place when we were flat-hunting first time, no trouble, and we don’t know what that means other than i guess this place chose us and the rent is so cheap because the estate agents were so relieved to find the first people in a thousand years who could actually see this fuckin building

today a food delivery person called me to say he was outside the church, was told to go to the next building along, (a 20 second journey on foot) and arrived at my door 20 minutes later, saying, “sorry, i went to the back of this building by mistake. weird right???”

this building doesn’t have a back

it backs onto the rest of the church it doesn’t have a back where did he go

[sharky-ame-critical]

How to fix Steven Universe

Make Kiki a lesbian

[commander-ledi]

im like skyrim npc:

i tell the same bullshit over and over again

sometimes when you try to interact with me, i am about to respond but then i just stare at you with my mouth open and go home to sleep

mostly i wont talk unless interacted with but sometimes when i notice you, i give you unwanted lecture about bullshit you could not care any less about

if you do one specific low effort nice thing to me, you can marry me

i eat bread nonstop

[capera-blog]

me: *about to send someone a message*

myself: hey

me: ? hey what's

myself: if they wanted to have any kind of contact w/ you they would have initiated it.

me: alright, neat, neat concept, but communication is actually a two-way street so

myself: they have no desire to speak to you and never have any desire to speak to you, ever. they never think of you. they will never think of you, at all, ever, even in passing. you are nothing.

me, tossing my phone out the window: alright! neat! awesome! fantastic!

[4lung]

soon

[hollowtones]

basically, i think the general rule of thumb is: if someone REALLY wants the blood that’s inside of your body, and they’re like… a vampire, or a dracula, or some sort of mansquito, then that’s probably okay. a dracula and a mansquito are made for removing things like blood and swords from inside your body. that’s basically fine.

if something wants to get at your blood, and they’re, say, some kind of murdersaurus, or maybe a really big frog, that’s where the problems start to arise. a really frog is not made for removing blood, and your blood knows this, which is why it is so vehement about wanting to stay IN your body instead of coming out. 

unfortunately this will not deter a really big frog, because a really big frog is full of things like prizes, and value, and quite a lot of hatred, and it would REALLY rather like to replace any and all of those things with your blood, and basically by any means possible.

[fidefortitude-deactivated202011]

These words scan with a fantastic degree of confidence considering that together they make no sense at all

[pukicho]

I hope everyone is having a fucking day

[pukicho]

[gothicprep]

an unofficial list of the most incomprehensible posts on this website, for my own personal reference

the infamous grave robbing callout post. tumblr user littlefuckingmonster is stealing bones from cemeteries in louisiana

“…….are you fucking saying psychopath murderers can’t be feminists holy shit ”

the one where a bunch of game grumps fans are trying to warn marky pliers abt a gang war in los angeles

“not all women are beautiful. some are problematic.”

this one where someone says “luke skywalker is gay” and some rando literally has an aneurysm in the comments