I have been thinking about going back here cause I could use an outlet. HEHE.
Anyway, I finally decided to write because… 2020 hasn’t exactly been an easy year.
♥ There’s a pandemic and it has been a year since the virus was made? known? and it’s also almost a year since the world has struggled with this. In the Philippines, we’ve been on community quarantine for 9 months and I don’t see the situation here getting better any time soon mainly because it seems that the government has different priorities (yes, other than ensuring the safety and health of the citizens)
♥ I quit my job last June, in the middle of the pandemic, mostly because my mental health has been suffering - I’ve become too anxious, and honestly really a toxic co-worker because all I spewed out were complaints about management (I still think rightfully so because they’re kurakot and don’t give rightful compensation and services both to their employees and clients). Also I’ve been pressuring myself to go back to my grad studies but staying to work for my previous employers would make that impossible - there were no boundaries there and they’d even get mad if their employees won’t answer their queries right away no matter the time!!!
♥ As you can see I’m still fuming about this matter haha
♥ I was jobless for 5 months before I finally found work which now requires me to go out of the house in the middle of the pandemic but honestly this has been the case for a lot of people - especially frontliners who had no choice but to do their jobs inspite of the situation.
♥ I also started to learn Korean, and crocheting at this point.
♥ I like this new job, though. Even if my co-workers already explained to me some faults and shortcomings of the current management. I think I’ve come to terms with the fact that there is no perfect management and what matters to me right now is the knowledge that I have a choice on what to do about these information and situations.
Okay, on to the main part. It’s almost Christmas! 2 days to be exact. Today, someone asked me, if I regretted anything in my life right now, what would be?
And despite of feeling depleted and lost, I had a lightbulb moment! I don’t regret anything. I realized that I’m thankful for all that I’ve experienced in my life because they all led me here. I’m healthy, my family is healthy, we’re complete - although my dad had left for work again just this month, I have great friends. I couldn’t really ask for more!
Yun lang. I just wanted to say that I am extremely grateful. And while I’m feeling that, it is also okay that I am feeling kinda down because nothing is the same right now and just like a lot of people, I am grieving for the normalcy that we’ve lost this year.
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