This is a blag.

The damn things overlap

[hyrude]

i've searched every combination of words imaginable and i still can't find that gif of the german star trek parody where gay spock is quickly drinking coffee and smoking freaking out PLEASE send it to me i need it urgently

[lamphous]

matched set

[punksalmons]

stretch that back hockey boy

[kaijuerotica]

at some point after shane joins the centaurs, ilya overhears shane refer to him as 'roz' in the locker room and his head JERKS up but he doesn't even have time to be confused because he can already tell by the look on shane's face that he was trying something out and it will NOT happen again

[kaijuerotica]

shane after hearing himself call his husband 'roz'

[darlingofdots]

fandom is so funny. oh yeah we're giving shane hollander thirty-seven food allergies #enrichment

[darlingofdots]

@ilyapasta okay but no WHAT IF he does wear it because he might be 🤷‍♂️ about his allergies but he's not actually reckless, right? so he has a bracelet that he wears when he's not at the rink because obviously that's an injury risk and the medical team knows so it's fine. but he never wears any other jewellery except maybe one of his fancy watches which are sponsorship obligations, so Ilya does catch on like okay, must be special, must be important to him, because he wears his mama's cross and maybe Hollander also has someone he wants to keep close like that.

and then at the cottage Shane leaves it by the sink and Ilya's like "you're not wearing your bracelet, did it break? maybe the clasp is bent, I can fix" and Shane says "oh no, it's fine, I just don't need it when I'm here." Ilya tilts his head like okay what and Shane has to explain what an allergy alert bracelet is and Ilya loses his entire mind like what the FUCK, Hollander, you didn't think to tell me that a Snickers could kill you??? before you took me to your house which has apparently never even SEEN a peanut?

[pansy2025]

goo goo dolls if they were in dune: and i don’t want the worm to see me

[mezzodical]

[ilyapasta]

Stakes are a really important part of character creation, because characters are part of a narrative. So often the lens through which a character’s arc is viewed, such as the transformation of Ilya’s hedonism and devil may care lifestyle once he’s with Shane, is not (always, I’ll speak for myself) because that attribute is negative for people in real life, but because nothing in a character’s arc should be by accident. Whether Ilya’s former partying ways are viewed negatively or positively by him, it should have a reason to be there. Whether he was lonely, bored, high on life from being away from his family, swept up in it, or just loves a good party because HE’S fun at parties and likes to socialize, there has to be a reason that then affects the narrative. And there has to be fallout. In TLG Ilya somewhat misses being the life of the party, but it’s not because he doesn’t have the opportunity to do so (he even says that he SHOULD be bonding more with his team, raising morale as captain), but because of his depression and focus on his long distance secret relationship, he’s finding it difficult to be invested in that old persona. Doesn’t mean he rebukes it, but it is an effective way to show character transformation. When he invites Shane to Bood’s party I think it’s an attempt to merge the two sides of him that have since separated. It’s like Shane wanting Ilya to know his parents, so that he can feel like they’re all on the same planet. Ilya in TLG is having trouble navigating being in love but closeted and still the larger than life ringleader he once was.

I think after coming out and the dust settling, Ilya will have somewhat of a renaissance. It takes him one minute to want to brag about being with Shane to Scott Hunter. And I think it might take Shane a minute, but he’ll ultimately want to join Ilya in the sunshine. Not because they OWE the world their private life, but because now they can bond with the people around them on a deeper level.

[mina-logan]

I wanted to give Harrison Browne his flowers in what little way I could so here’s this quick portrait. What an inspirational human being. (And the only pro hockey player on the damn show.)

Best of luck in all of your endeavors. I hope Connors got his room service.

We all deserve sunshine. ☀️

[scunthotter]

Its so important to remember that when Shane says "Ilya noooo, Ilya ewww, what the fuck Ilya" that this is him giggling and kicking his feet. The man is not a killjoy he just loves being chased.

[hutsonwoolyums]

I like to think I’d be in the club with Ilya but really I’d be getting room service with Connors

[ilyapasta]

I have this headcanon that Ilya and Connors agreed on like a low key night in getting room service and watching Fast and the Furious but then Ilya saw Shane and the Kill Bill sirens started going off

And I’ve been there! You’re comfy cozy with your roommate like ready to order take out and binge Sex and the City but then your friend is like NO WE NEED TO GO DRINK IN PUBLIC AND I NEED TO GET FUCKED and my chill, lower libido ass is like okayyyyyy I guess we’re doing this now lmaoo

[ilyasmole]

the way shane says "that's french, ilya" in the stairwell is so buzzy.....like you can tell he's testing out saying ilya's name.....i'm so....

[virginshane]

and then ilya says back ”i know, shane” CAN U BELIEVE

[myshangel]

i think shane is crazy enough to get pissed off by troy saying "ilya." like that's rozanov or captain to You . and also to Me in certain sexual contracts but that's Besides The Point,

[shnehollander]

married hollanov, still so happy and sexually compatible. they have a multitude of toys that are in frequent rotation. upping the ante and having so much fun always. sometimes though shane is like. can you um. can we pretend like we're meeting for the first time. like maybe even when they're showering together and shane suddenly takes a couple of steps back and looks down at ilyas dick. SHANE is the one who starts touching himself and looking at ilya. and ilya is like oh ok and gets w/ the program pretty quick and roleplays their first shower meeting but this time it ends with shane giving head crazystyle like he wished he would have been able to back then.... Blowjobs can make me emotional you see

[closetfascination]

A little while later...

Shane + hockey being fun

Heated Rivalry - Season 1

as requested by @captainragtag

[birdofork]

Heated Rivalry fic recs - texting (Part 1 of 3)

I tried to have these fics be a majority texting, but some exposition and social media may be in these as well.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

crash out by UglyGreenJacket Rated T, 3,917

Shane: All this hiding, and we can’t even be together when it really matters? Shane: Fuck that. Fuck all of it. I’m coming to Florida. Shane: I choose you. Always.

Ilya: I love you.

Shane: I love you, too. Shane: Are you going to tell me not to come?

Ilya: Fuck no. Ilya: I need you here. Please hurry.

Shane: I’ll tell the pilot to fly faster ❤️ I’m paying him enough. Shane: Don’t drink too much, because we’re going to have a lot of really emotional sex when I get there, and I can’t have your dick going limp on me.

Ilya: He would NEVER.

Shane: ❤️

__________

Troy: Holy shit. Troy: HOLY SHIT. Troy: Shane Hollander is naked in your bed. Troy: Shane Hollander is NAKED in your bed.

They Mean Well, I Swear by Nimming Rated M, 12,802 words

Ilya and Shane agreed to come out to their teams separately. The Bears take it well and promise to have Ilya's back, but they have questions.

aka a bunch of well meaning straight (?) guys asking about how things work

who the f*ck is jane by goldengalaxies Not Rated, 2,961 words

Caitlin ok this IS earth shattering news

Caitlin the concept of the worst team in the league getting ilya rozanov because some random girl managed to lock down “russia’s greatest love machine” and have him so whipped that he moves to OTTAWA??

Caitlin like who the fuck is this girl?????

Cassie Literally all I know is that her name is Jane

Caitlin who the fuck are you jane!!!!!!

(the ottawa wag chat finds out about jane. cue them finding out little bits of jane lore until some things add up)

all things change, we stay the same by UglyGreenJacket Rated M, 4,433

Ilya: I do not know how I’ll survive until I see you again.

Shane: So dramatic.

Ilya: It is only two months, I guess. Ilya: Not that long.

Shane: It’s fucking forever.

Ilya: Now who’s being dramatic?

Shane: I’ve spent too much time around you at the cottage ❤️ Shane: We’ll talk all the time though, right?

Ilya: Every day.

Shane: And we’ll have phone sex still?

Ilya: As if you could survive without it.

Shane: As if you could. Ilya: I love you, Shane Hollander.

Shane: I love you too, Ilya Rozanov. Shane: Call me when you land?

Ilya: Only an immigration officer could stop me.

Part of the Family by FlameHazel18 Rated T, 6,112 words

Ottawa Centaurs ✅ @OttawaCentaurs Competitors on the ice, but we're good at burying the hatchet. Thanks to the @NYAdmirals and @KingfisherNYC for hosting us tonight! audrey @mrslucahaas Do I spy with my little eye Shane Hollander in the background of that third pic? sj ❦ @shaydenstan Shane Hollander leaning over a pool table I am looking very disrespectfully 👀 Ilya Rozanov ✅ @rozanov81 No you are not. Internet is cancelled. Harris take this down.

Or: the Centaurs (+ Shane) take New York

[loverboy-shane]

the top can Also have emotionally significant first time vaginal sex

its not that ilya doesnt like front hole play, he just prefers having a dick. sometimes he'll go crazy with a rabbit vibrator just to switch up his jerk off routine, sometimes he lets his hook ups finger him. especially if theyre sucking his dick too

and shane always loved ilyas array of dicks, deepthroating them and looking up at ilya with tears running down his cheeks, or letting ilya fuck him into the mattress. he has a lot of compliments for ilyas dicks, the one attached to him and the ones that arent.

shane loves to bottom, ilya loves to top.

several years into their marriage is when ilya starts thinking about it. he decides to finger himself a little while shane is on a run. he needs more lube than he remembers using last time, but its still nice. he's thinking about shane, of course. his fingers and tongue, whenever ilya feels up to it. how nervous he was at first that he was going to hurt ilya in some way, but then how eager he was to learn after getting a taste

so ilya lets his mind wander to shanes cock, too. as he often does. hes had it down his throat so many times he thinks there must be a permanent imprint of it. hes even had it in his ass once, watching shane fall apart under him as ilya took what he wanted. watching as he hit a certain angle and could see shane's cock bulge in his stomach

that's what ultimately gets him off, waiting for shane to come back from his run. and he thinks, maybe he wont clean up the lube. maybe he'll stay laying on the bed, legs spread and cock twitching, until shane comes in to shower in their en suite. and maybe he'll beckon shane over with his messy fingers and see what happens next

shane doesnt make it to the shower. he sees ilya messy. he gets a little hypnotized by his dick throbbing between his lips. ilya tells him to eat him out and how is he supposed to say no?

eventually (after many many orgasms for ilya, and purposeful denial for shane) ilya asks him. "i want you to fuck me," he says, and before shanes gears can turn he adds, "in the front."

it's been a long time, yeah. shane is definitely bigger than anything hes taken there before. but ilya is horny, and feeling more than a little cocky, and a very quiet part of him says 'i want to give you one of my firsts, for once.'

he lets shane and his big fucking hands take over fingering and lube. shane insists on a condom even though ilya doesnt have a uterus or ovaries anymore. and the fit is very tight. shane bottoms out significantly before he's all the way in, and he looks kind of like he's about to pass out. but ilya decides its definitely on the side of horny passing out

and it feels good. even the initial stretch and positioning. ilya feels kind of like he's being split apart, not just physically but emotionally. because theyre in missionary and shanes catching his eye and asking "is this okay?" like hes checking in on ilya and asking if he's being a good boy. and how can ilya say no, when shane's big enough to brush his g spot every time, when its kind of pressing on his bladder and that feels both overwhelming and so fucking good, when shane looks so sweet and worried and like he's about to bust at any second

ilya ends up with his knees by his shoulders, shane using every muscle group in his body to pound into him. the angle gets him deep and it hurts but in a way that has ilya seeing god. his brain might be a little broken, even, because he's stopped giving shane orders and devolved into "fuck fuck fuck fuck me shane holy shit"

he thanks their athletic careers for keeping his body in check enough that his pelvic floor muscles are working. he thanks the dna in shanes body that made his dick this fucking big. he thanks the universe for putting him and shane together at that first meeting in saskatchewan because decades down the line that cute shy boy is the first one to fuck his cunt and its amazing

ilya comes twice more, shane pulls out after he does and doesnt even notice that the condom broke because hes so floaty. ilya doesnt give a shit, it's kinda hot that not only was shane the first cock in his front hole, he was the first and only one to come in it. ilya cares way more about the fact that hes crying and then shanes crying but theyre both just happy and overstimulated

it never becomes a regular part of their roster. after all, shane loves to bottom and ilya loves to top. but when ilya tells shane that hes the only one to ever do that, the possessive grin he gets in return is enough to let it happen again on occasion

[409-conflict]

Hey loons, since I use a bunch of workskins in my HR fics and it makes me sad that the formatting gets lost when you download from ao3, I did the Totally Sane thing of converting my works with formatting to epubs.

Disclaimers: only available in epub, only tested on the three devices I happen to own, here be monsters, etc. etc.

Available to download via Google Drive here

[chubby-cry-baby]

harris creates ILYA JEOPARDY for ilya’s 32nd birthday and the centaurs are hyped to see who can get more points than Shane; Bood and Ilya have been captains for years together, Troy and Ilya are best friends, Wyatt and Ilya have their own captain-goalie relationship, Luca is his mentee etc etc all the centaurs have their own thing with Ilya. “yeah Shane’s his husband but I saw him everyday for practice for years I think I’ll get some points in there”. AND the questions aren’t even that hard “what does Ilya order at osmows” “what’s his pre game ritual” “what’s his favourite city” “what’s his favourite gatorade flavour” - the centaurs keep getting the answers like 20% incorrect and shane gets to swoop in and correct them, “it’s actually a loon not a duck actually” “that is NOT his favourite fast and furious” “he doesn’t like blue he likes the light blue gatorade”. Ilya can’t even act nonchalant he feels insanely loved.