sorry i cant stop thinking about it
shane: hey :) play better next time best buddy :)
scott: take ilyas dick out of your mouth before you talk to me
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@scunthotter
sorry i cant stop thinking about it
shane: hey :) play better next time best buddy :)
scott: take ilyas dick out of your mouth before you talk to me
shane taking care of ilya ♥️
stay.
this is what
don't get me wrong i love the fact that shane and ilya retcon their relationship to be love at first sight. like good for them!! but when i look at the source material im like .. you were charmed. you were jealous. he had everything you wanted (supportive family and his country behind him, able to be big and brash and move through life with ease) and you wanted to see if you could make him feel good (can you debauch the golden boy, can you be good for the man who's had everyone) but the love didn't come until you started to take apart the things that attracted you to this person in the first place. shane fell in love with the ilya who checked in on him and with the sweetness behind the barbs and with the ilya who couldn't stop kissing him in that stairwell. and ilya fell in love with the shane who thinks buffalo is stupid and can barely get his shoes off before he throws himself at ilya and can't tell his parents he's gay because he's suffocating behind his own image not because he thinks they don't love him but because he wants to honor everything they've done for him. and so it's really nice that ilya goes "i loved you from the first time i saw you" but i, omniscient reader, call bullshit. i think you love that boy now because no version of you could ever not love any version of him. but at the time i think you were mostly just curious and then the love grew despite all odds in the most hostile of circumstances because everything you learned about each other made you want more and more and more. and also probably that's even MORE beautiful. so.
Ok but headcanon that Shane is one of those people who will just write “Love, Shane” at the bottom of a card UNTIL he feels comfortable being vulnerable with that person, at which point he writes the most heartbreakingly sweet and earnest notes
And no one is ever ready for the switch, and even after it happens they can never fully prepare themselves for what they’re going to get. Shane has learned that when he’s going to do that he should take them aside to give them the card rather than in front of people
Once Shane feels comfortable with Hayden as a genuinely good friend in his birthday card that year he writes out a whole thing about how he’s always wanted a best friend like other kids had but never had one and had accepted he never would, and then Hayden came into his life and gave him a level of love and friendship he never thought he would get and he loves everything about Hayden and can’t wait to be by his side as friends and brothers for the rest of their lives. Hayden fully breaks down and loses it, Jackie notices they’ve been gone a while and walks into the kitchen to see Hayden hugging Shane and sobbing into his shoulder. She raises her eyebrows at Shane and Shane just gives her the OK sign and goes back to rubbing Hayden’s back
Ilya learns about the card thing when it’s yunas birthday and he notices her opening Shane’s card like she’s deactivating a bomb. She stares silently as she reads it and Ilya starts freaking out a little when she starts to tear up and then pulls Shane in for a long silent hug. He looks at it later and sees that Shane wrote about how the last year made him realize over again how lucky he is to have someone as strong and supportive as her as a mother and he hopes to one day be half the parent to his own kids as she was to him
When it’s their first time having Ilya’s birthday together he’s legitimately nervous because this is his first Shane Card and he doesn’t know what to expect and part of him is afraid he’s built it up too much in his head and Shane won’t have as nice things to say as he did with other people. And then he opens the envelope and there’s no card but instead multiple pieces of paper because Shane couldn’t fit it all into a limited space. Ilya spends the better part of the next hour walking around the house reading it, taking breaks occasionally to cry or hyperventilate before going back to reading it because holy shit does Shane Hollander love him. Like he knew logically that Shane did but now he’s got pages and pages of Shane walking him through his feelings over the last decade of their life and every moment he remembered and cherished. Shane finally catches up to him and he’s on the floor of the kitchen, face a splotchy red mess, chugging Gatorade because he’s dehydrated from crying
David texts later to ask how his first Shane Card was and he just sends a wall of crying emojis and David is like “LOL yup, the first Father’s Day he did that for me I had to take the week off work or else I would remember it and cry in my office”
This the report that JK Rowing doesn't want you to see. This report scares her so much that she is trying to destroy Amnesty International, a human rights organization, to stop you reading it:
Amnesty International put out a major report documenting the influence of UK based anti trans gender critical organizations and their fundin
(Amnesty already pulled the report because of JKR's threats. Of course that didn't and won't stop her - capitulating to fascists and bigots is never the answer. Alejandra captured the report and posted it, so you can read what JKR doesn't want you to know.)
Bluesky thread is a lot of screenshots (which I find impossible to cope with), but if you scroll far enough down, there's a link to the full pdf:
My absolute gospel truth and I'm sorry this is so sappy but--where I'm living, Ilya fully changes his name to Hollander when they get married, like just fully legally changes it. And despite the fact that he continues to use Rozanov professionally ("Just like J. Lo," Ilya says.) everyone who knows them personally obviously knows what Ilya's legal name is and also assume it's a way to kind of stick it to his shitheel father. To this end, and kind of as a joke at first, people start referring to their two-person unit as The Hollanders ("Okay, the Hollanders are in room 508" etc.) but it becomes steadily less and less a joke when neither Shane or Ilya really seems to think of it as one. Ilya especially seems to genuinely love it. He'll say shit like "Oh yes the Hollanders will be there" when asked if they're coming to a barbecue like they live in a postcard. He LOVES to give his name as Ilya Hollander and he LOVES to book reservations under 'Misters Hollander' and he LOVES to say the words 'Shane and Ilya Hollander' out loud with his mouth. I also think that for their last game together in the league Ilya and Shane wear jerseys that say S. Hollander 24 and I. Hollander 81 and it's like. An end of an era type thing. And they frame the jerseys.
i wanted to say something about cliff and ilya rating each others nudes
first of all they absolutely rate each others nudes, sometimes they send them not even with the intention to send the nudes so someone else, just for the hell of it, just to have the other saying hell yeah brother looking good, just to boost self esteem
second of all while the idea of them 10/10ing each picture is funny and appealing to me, i had a vision in which i saw the most meticulous earnest constructive criticism in order to help the other achieve absolute perfection
-(a dick pic, full light) move your hand down a bit, will make it seem bigger and maybe turn down the light a bit, give it an aura of mystery
-(navel to mid thigh, a giant hickey right where the pubes line starts) damn roz, who did this to you? (ilya says you should see the other guy. marley doesn’t catch on)
-(mirror selfie, full frontal) marley don’t you have a mirror outside of the bathroom? the toilet in the background is a bit of a buzzkill
-(hands down pants, dick fully erect) love the vibe but there is a giant hole in your boxers, maybe change those
-(bedroom vanity mirror, sweaty abs) damn roz someone in the bed with you? the lightnings dope but don’t send this to anyone with someone with an ass like that in the background
wait all this talk about a hypothetical Scott and Kip divorce got me thinking…
Imagine Scott’s at an all star game, drunk off his ass at the bar. Shane walks in and leans on the bar and Scott notices that Shane’s not wearing his wedding ring. Shane always wears his ring off the ice, there have been fucking articles about how Ilya wears his on a chain and Shane doesn’t
Scott audibly sighs and Shane looks over at him. Scott’s too drunk not to say, “Fuck, sorry, I’m just so glad I’m not alone. When did it happen? It was the fucking media, right? That was part of it for us. All this pressure to be perfect. Who can live up to that?”
Shane’s like, “Uh. What?”
Scott’s like, “Sorry. Probably still fresh, huh? It is for me. I’m just glad I won’t be the only gay divorcé in the league. Hey maybe we could time our announcements so they come out at the same time? Soften the blow for each other? Or, no, that could get political fast” Scott keeps drunkenly rambling on
Shane’s just standing there, panicked, trying to figure out the best way to break the news that the only reason he’s not wearing his wedding ring is because it really breaks his immersion in their roleplay that he’s a random slut Ilya’s picking up at the bar
shane reverse cowgirl as punishment bc ilya is so mad he can't even look at his face right now
i like when ilya is mean AND i like when ilya is nice #WeDoExist #StopTheErasure #MyMultitudes
please please PLEASEEEEE more innocent virgin shane who doesn't even know what arousal is 🥵🥵🥵💝💝 (your mind btw... 🤯🙏)
sorry for how long this took sweet anon! i wasn't feeling well
anyways yes i fully believe that this is hollanov's favorite roleplay. shane loves pretending that ilya has corrupted him. and they both get off so hard on the fact that ilya really was shane's first time and also that he is his one and only male partner. [going off tv canon here]
they just got home from practice. ilya is in the kitchen and starting to pull things out to make them lunch. he turns around to look at shane and notices an odd look on his face.
"shane? you okay?"
shane shakes his head slightly. "something happened at practice."
ilya immediately bounded over to him and began peppering him with kisses. "are you hurt?"
"i just, um. felt funny when you pushed me into the boards."
"oh? sweetheart i am so sorry, i did not think i hit that hard. my poor thi-"
"no! it didn't hurt like that. i just felt... tingly in my... you know."
realization hits ilya then. there was nothing wrong, his beautiful little freak just wanted to play. a wide smirk spread across his face.
"i think you need to show me where exactly you felt this, sweetheart. i need to know for sure so i can inspect."
shane bites his bottom lip and looks to the floor. he slowly moves his hand down until it is in front of his groin. he gently pats the area twice before looking up through his lashes. "here...."
"ahhh, i see. and what happened there when i pushed you?"
shane's cheeks brightened into a beautiful shade of pink. "well. i felt tingly, like i said. and, um, something happened and it felt like i, you know, like i got bigger? like, swollen. down there. and it felt really warm. i felt warm."
it took everything in ilya not to pin him to the floor then and there. "oh, baby. you were feeling something called horny. it is a very normal feeling for young boys your age." ilya ran his fingers through shane's hair, making him shudder at the affection. "do you feel this way often, sweetheart?"
shane nodded shyly. ilya couldn't hold back the soft groan that escaped his lips. "and what are you thinking about when it happens?"
"y-you. it always happens when i think about or am around you."
ilya couldn't control himself anymore, he reached down hoisted shane up by the backs of his thighs. he instinctively wrapped his legs around ilya's torso and his arms around ilya's neck. he could feel shane's hard cock pressing into his belly.
"fuck, baby. you're doing it right now, yes?"
shane nodded, his face flushed and eyes half lidded. ilya pressed a kiss to his temple before continuing.
"how about i show you a special trick that helps it go away, hm? it feels so good, sweetheart. it will make both of us feel so fucking good. you will like. you want to try, kotenok?"
shane's lashes fluttered as he nodded again. "y-yeah. yes. i want to try it."
ilya sank his teeth into the crook of shane's neck, sucking a hickey into his warm skin as he walked them to their bedroom.
stay.
Ilya after fucking Shane through the mattress but he’s parked illegally
Whoever invented the flight attendant call button is a genius.
All Ilya has to do is press the little button above his seat and in a matter of seconds a beautiful man will come stand in front of Ilya and ask what he can do for him. A beautiful man with beautiful freckles and shining brown eyes and biceps that had flexed tantalizingly when he'd helped an older woman with her overhead luggage during boarding. And not Ilya, no. He'll ask what he can do for Mr. Rozanov.
It's honestly almost too much. (Almost.)
The first couple of calls had seemed innocent enough, and the flight attendant ("SHANE," his name tag helpfully provides) had been the picture of customer service as he arrived at Ilya's seat with a pasted-on pleasant smile and confidently strode up and down the aisle to bring him a hot towel, a snack, an extra blanket, and always "if there's anything else I can do, sir, please let me know." Ilya had never appreciated the phrase "hate to see them go, love to watch them leave" more.
By the fifth call in the space of an hour, Shane seems to be getting suspicious. His smile has taken on a wry edge as he approaches Ilya's seat, but Ilya maintains perfect innocence as he asks Shane if he can close his window shade.
Shane stops just short of rolling his eyes. "Mr. Rozanov, I have a feeling you're more than capable of closing a window shade on your own."
Ilya shrugs, eyes wide in put-upon bewilderment. "It's stuck! I cannot budge it."
Shane sighs as he braces one hand on Ilya's armrest leans across him to pull the shade down (easily, of course). Ilya tries not to be too obvious as he breathes Shane in, reveling in having him so close, but Shane must sense it anyway because he freezes as he starts to pull away, looking back at Ilya warily as if he's not quite sure what his game is.
"Ah, my hero," Ilya praises softly. "I knew you could do it."
Ilya watches Shane swallow hard before he straightens up. "Anything else I can do for you, Mr. Rozanov?" he asks, a slight waver in his voice.
"Not right now, thank you, Shane. But I'll let you know next time I need you." Ilya points to the button above his head and winks, smiling at the way it makes Shane flush before he hurries away.
Ilya decides not to press the button for over an hour after that, just to see, and the way it makes Shane slowly grow more and more antsy is simply delicious. Ilya can tell he's itching for Ilya's next call, nervously shifting his eyes over to Ilya as he assists other passengers.
After about forty-five minutes, Ilya is playing a game on his phone when he senses Shane next to him and looks up, where he's nervously biting his lip. "Mr. Rozanov, I just wanted to let you know that we'll be starting beverage service shortly. I'll be busy with the cart for a while, so if there's anything you might need..."
He's so beautifully nervous. He's being so wonderfully good. Ilya rewards him with an honest smile, one that seems to put Shane at ease. "Thank you, Shane. I will be fine."
Shane breathes out, returning Ilya's smile. "Ok, cool. I'll, uh, check on you later, ok?"
"Ok. Thank you."
When Shane comes with the beverage cart, he asks for Shane's number. He's never seen anyone flush more prettily as he writes it down on an airline cocktail napkin and signs it "xx Shane."
~~
thank you @hutsonwoolyums for the inspo! 😘😘
Leo's been fucking going through it so I drew them a thing to cheer them up based off of this post 💛
This is literally the best thing to ever happen to me