she had always been the careful one. intrepid, careful, and so very aware of her movements and her words; not because neena was awkward or afraid of what she might do, but because she was cautious of what she could do. could she start talking to alissa day again, and awaken the ache in her veins? could she bite her tongue and smile, pretend the pining playlist was’t still saved in her ipod? could she study with her, aware of the her way her fingers t w i t c h e d with longing? YES, yes, she could.
” he told me, actually. said you really helped him out. “
alissa blinks before she realizes just how hard she must be blushing. oh no, oh no, OH NO. gary talked to neena and talked to her about being queer. it wasn't just gary that had come out, it was her; alissa swallowed. she flicked her eyes back and forth up neena, then back down to her paper. she could hear him still in her head, asking how she had figured it out. neena, she'd whispered. neena.
she waited for neena to say it. to say that he said that she said that there was no one who made her more sure than neena. nobody. if he'd told, oh god, if he'd told
❝ ... what exactly did he say? ❞













