My ideal guy is long, tan, and handsome
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@captainoblivious19
My ideal guy is long, tan, and handsome
I quote this and laugh to myself very, very often.
Haters will see you put on a condom and say he can’t afford to raise a child
Why would you have sex with your haters randy
I’m not really in any position to be picky
rich people should not be allowed to access, collect, modify or wear ancient artifacts as fashion statements. they're historical pieces that belong in public domains & should remain accessible to everyone. this especially applies to colonial artifacts & jewellery. end of discussion.
sorry im not giving into the cutting out sweet treats propaganda. life is hard enough
some of yall didnt go insane at 15 and it shows
Hey so that was a great date, yeah, but I don't think it's going to work out. Nono you didn't do anything wrong, and I have indeed had a crush on you since we started high school, it's just... well, I didn't want to bring it up at the time but we kinda got sucked into a portal fantasy midway through. We saved the kingdom over and over, relying on our knowledge of and trust in each other every time, throwing ourselves into the firing line to protect each other and using each others' conviction as a rock. We got married and lived a happy life together until the portal sucked us back mid-battle and you gave up all your memories of our journey in order to save my life right when we ended up back in the coffee shop. Yeah that was when I got a bit weird and went to the bathroom.
Anyway I thought we could push on and make the date work but I have all of these memories of secrets that this you never chose to share, decisions that this you never made, and intimacies that this you never experienced. And it's kind of screwing with the vibe yeah. Also on the date it was really, blatantly clear that you're sixteen whereas I have memories of ruling a fantasy kingdom for thirty years so like... that's a problem all on its own. Anyway this you just feels more like a daughter to me. A daughter with the woman I gave my heart and soul to over and over and received like in return, only to lose her forever on the journey home. On the plus side I can definitely help you with your math homework now.
#what the fuck#this one was actually really very short why is it still like that what
The shorter it is, the more concentrated the what the fuck can be.
I can help you with your math homework because the fantasy world's magic system was based on calculus and I was a gifted mage, stop nitpicking.
#this world's magic system is also based in calculus
Nothing like holding my love
I live a very balanced life of noticing things nobody else does and not noticing the things that literally everybody notices
LETS BRING BACK 1337 SPEAK
why do i even try
I THoUGHT YOU MEANT THE YEAR
my l0rd, t3h p34s4nt5 4r3 r3v01t1ng! W3 mu5t s411y f0rth 4g41n5t th3m 4thw1th!
Happy ten years of being so old no one knows what 1337 is
“What if poor people abuse the system?”
The system intrinsically abuses poor people.
Hope this helps.
"What if poor people abuse the system?"
Rich people abuse the system far more and out of pure greed, not necessity or desperation so idrc about that
opening Tumblr is like a cigarette break
So funny story actually. One of my friends was hooking up with this girl, they were friends with benefits. She needed a date for some work party so he agreed to go with her. Turns out her dad owns like 3 dental practices and she worked as the business manager for one of them.
Anyway my friend had some not so nice teeth and during dinner the father of his fwb was like “you work where you work, you sleep with him and his teeth look like that? Get him an appointment.”and then bounced. So his fwb made him an appointment at the practice she managed and my friend ended up needing like 3k worth of dental work and his friend with benefits just gave it to him for free.
So that is the story of how my friend not only got sex, but dental out of the friends with benefits deal.
Suddenly struck with a need to explain to you how boat pronouns work (I work in the marine industry).
When you're talking about the design of the boat, you say "it".
When the boat is still being built, your say "it".
When the boat is nearing completion, you can say "it" or "she".
When the boat is floating in the water you probably say "she", unless there is still a lot of work to be done (e.g. no engine yet) then you say "it".
When the boat is officially launched and operating, you say "she". If you continue to say "it" at this point you are not incorrect but suspiciously untraditional. You are not playing the game.
If you are referring to a boat you don't really know anything about you may say "it" ("there's a big boat, it's coming this way"). But if you know its name, it's probably "she" ("there's the Waverley, she's on her way to Greenock").
If you are talking about boats in general, you say "it" ("when a boat is hit by a wave it heels over")
If you speak about a boat in complimentary terms, it's "she" ("she's a grand boat"). If you are being disparaging it may be it, but not necessarily ("it's as ugly as sin", "she's a grotty old tub").
If she has a boy's name, she's still she. "Boy James", "King Edward", "Sir David Attenborough"? The pronoun is she.
If it's a dumb barge (no engine), you say it. But if it's a rowing boat (no engine), you say she.
I hope this has cleared things up so that you may not be in danger of misgendering floating objects.
Hit "view post" and lost it