Human Trader Joe's Lemonade

23 He/They

[undying-princess]

they're executing the count from sesame street for violating the masquerade

[onenarat]

So I am reading the Troll Kithbook and at the begging, they tell you a story about Ottmar Oakstrong, aka Ottmar the Oathbreaker, aka Ottmar Oceanheart and how he accidentally cursed all trolls cause he got mad at Tuatha de Dannan. This entire situation and curse could have been avoided if this motherfucker made a polycule with 2 other Sidhe he advantured with. I am not joking, that situation wasn't a triangle- it was a fucking circle, bot nooooo, we have to be shy with our feelings so we can't tell a pretty noble lady we like her and that cool dude who hangs around with us could join too, noooo, we have to break our oath cause misunderstanding has happened (which granted, was caused by Unseelie fae doing Unseelie fae bullshit) and now all my people are cursed by our defacto God's that now if one breaks their oath they get kicked out of the Kithain society. Now he did return with aura and made amends with the other 2, renewing his oath and making those oath for their children too, but like, we could have just avoided all of that, my guy, we really could

[valtsv]

equal rights for women will never truly be achieved until we have more female noir detectives

[valtsv]

and i don't mean some badass woman who doesn't need a man and can kill someone in 6 inch heels without breaking a sweat or smudging her perfectly set makeup or chipping a nail. she looks like she grew up in a soggy cardboard box on the side of the road all alone. she monologues dramatically to herself while looking over the corruption-riddled city she works in because she has no friends or hobbies and will literally do anything except go to therapy. she gets beat up in alleyways so blood and rain drip sexily from her nose and chin but when she gets to her feet she looks like a sad wet cat. women want her but they also pity her. instead of perfume she smells of coffee, whiskey and cigarettes, which are also more or less all she lives off of. her voice is more gravelly than a pit of rocks as a result of said diet. she hasn't slept or showered in at least 3 days and it's increasingly obvious. she's either divorced or feels like she should be.

[abrillustrated]

yeah okay gimme a sec

[abrillustrated]

ok first off some of yall missed the entire point and gave gorgeous, put-together women, when op explicitly stated that she is "a sad wet cat" this is the type-a woman who Does Not have her shit together and Does Not care.

therefore, i give you: Female Noir Detective

[transmortifried]

this lady's so much of a mess she's smoking the damn cig backwards

[mel-155-a]

[purpurea-lucensis]

Man im so involved in the vtm fandom that now my homepage just looks like a giant masquerade breach

[srune]

[ratteetth-deactivated20250903]

Unbothered. In my zone. Moisturized. Blood thirsty. Going insane.

[greelin]

“vampire infested castle” they

LIVE THERE

[jupitersmusings]

good things will happen 🧿

things that are meant to be will fall into place 🧿

[overlord-fire-bubble]

THIS ONE FUCKING WORKS. REBLOG IT.

[tiny-kt]

this for real fucking works

[meattiramisu]

At some point my hair acted like this with a band, so i drew this

I don't know how much more stuff i made while burned out from assignments

Here's two languages btw

[ipsey]

Tips for WoD STs:

Make it Sexier.

Make it Sillier.

Make it Sickening.

[tag-the-vtm-oc-who]

tag the vtm oc who is blood bonded!

[poolboyatthegiovannimansion]

[tlwebb]

[humantea]

Tremere is a bitch ass motherfucker. He diablerized my antediluvian. That’s right, he took his shitty little wizard fangs and he diablerized my fucking clan founder, and he said his fangs were “THIS BIG”. And I said, “that’s disgusting!” So I’m making a callout post on Schreknet. Tremere, you’ve got a shitty clan discipline, it’s like mages but way more limited! And guess what? Here’s what my clan discipline looks like! That’s right baby, Obeah and Valeren, look at that, nothing to do with soul stealing! He ate my founder so guess what, I’m gonna EAT THE PYRAMID! THAT’S RIGHT! THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, I’M JOINING THE SABBAT! Except, I’m not just destroying the Pyramid, I’m gonna go higher. I’m destroying the CAMARILLA! How do you like that Hardestadt? I’m destroying the Ivory Tower you idiot! You have 23 hours until everything comes crashing down! Now get out of my fucking sight before I eat you too!

[not-a-very-good-dungeon-master]

pov: you killed a robber with your world of darkness books, now you need to hide the body.

[bebs-art-gallery]

Speak No Evil † See No Evil

© Molly Has a Chainsaw